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LET'S GO BOWLING

(Jessie's note: Okay, it's a cheap laugh, but "grab your balls" makes me giggle and blush every time.)

Well grab your shoes, and grab your balls

And lets head to those heavenly halls

Sit on down and grab a beer

Because bowling time is pretty near

Tortured men forget their pain

When they head to the bowling lane

Let's go bowling

Let's go bowling, got a coupon

Let's go bowling, for a free game

Let's go bowling

Let's go bowling, let's go bowling

Let's do it now

Because Wrestlemania's fine by me

Monster trucks are a sight to see

A cultured life that's nice and all

But there ain't nothing better than a bowling ball

You know the sport that God would choose

Is the one with the three-tone leather-sole shoes

Let's go bowling

Let's go bowling, got a coupon

Let's go bowling, from a juice can

Let's go bowling

Let's go bowling, let's go bowling

Let's do it now

(*spoken* Yes bowling! The sport of kings! The sport of queens! The sport of dukes... Earls... Moes... Johns... anything that looks good when it's embroidered on a polyester shirt. And you know, bowling takes on this almost religious significance because it's so much like a religion. I mean the ball is round, like the earth, and it's got the Holy Trinity: the Father, the Son, and the... Thumbhole. And as you roll the ball down the alley of life, striking out the pagan religions of the past, sparing them the anguish of their lives in the gutter, framing their existence in an eternal metaphysicalness something like the 7-10 split!)

We'll be bowling in Moosejaw (yeah, yeah)

We'll be bowling in Hickton (yeah, yeah)

We'll be bowling in Gander (yeah, yeah)

And in the Kingston Township (yeah, yeah)

We'll be bowling Vancouver, bowling Saskatoon

Someday they'll even be bowling on the moon

I said yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Let's go bowling

Let's go bowling, got a coupon

Let's go bowling, for free shoes

Let's go bowling

Let's go bowling, let's go bowling

Let's do it now

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