i carry your heart with me i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) e e cummings It was a beautiful day. I took Ryan's ashes, along with his baseball cap, and sat him on the pier as we launched the balloons. I was very happy at the number of friends that showed up. I wore Ryan's blue Tommy Hilfiger shirt and his leather jacket. What a beautiful sight as the balloons lifted up into the sky and the sun! My oldest son Jimmy with his wife and stepdaughter, Jocelynn. Jocelynn wanted to hold Uncle Ryan (the ashes). As she was holding them, she said "Mom-Mom, we set Uncle Ryan free!" Her thinking amazes me! Her love and connection to Ryan are so strong, even though she was only 3 when he passed on. While sitting in McDonald's about 35 minutes after the launch, one red balloon passed the window. Jimmy ran to try and find it, but he couldn't. As the balloons had gone up, they looked as if they went to the North. McDonald's is to the East. I want to believe that was Ryan saying he was happy and safe.