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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Florida Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-500-1119
Florida DV Hotline TTY Number:
1-800-621-4202
(If you are deaf, hard-of-hearing, or speech-impaired, you may also use the
 by dialing 711 to access your local domestic violence center.)

Safety Planning

For those:

·        Living with an abuser - because the danger can occur at any time

·        Planning to leave - because few abusers allow their victim to leave peacefully

·        Living separately - because danger often increases after a survivor leaves or stops a relationship

 

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
TTY: 1-800-787-3224

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is a serious crime. It includes behaviors like pushing, grabbing, poking, pinching, hitting, punching, and threats to harm. Persons who may be included in domestic violence cases are:

·        wife or husband

·        parent of your child

·        family member

·        someone you have lived with as if a family

If you have been forced to do something sexual that you didn't want to do or if you have been kept from food, medicine, or a doctor's care, you are a victim of domestic violence. It is not your fault. The abuser is responsible. There is someone who will listen and support you and your decisions. There are steps you can take to help end the abuse.

 

What are some options you may consider?

·        Call the police in an emergency.

·        File a police report about the violence.

·        Call the domestic violence hotline to talk, get information or ideas, find a shelter, or make a safety or escape plan.

·        Have the abuser ordered by the court to stay away from you by getting an Injunction for Protection.

·        See a doctor for injuries (and consider having him/her write down the cause of the injuries).

·        Talk to a friend, family member, neighbor, or someone else for support and ask for help.

Use and Care of Your Safety Plan

·        Keep it in a safe place (at work, a friend's, etc.)

·        Read it carefully, then call the domestic violence hotline and ask a counselor to help you make a plan. Everyone is different, and your plan should cover your personal situation.

·        Put your important phone numbers together so that they will be handy if you leave."

·        Check off items which will apply to your situation. See what will help you the most and concentrate on those items.

·        Update your safety plan often. Review it with a supporter or hotline counselor.

·        Share your plan only with those who will absolutely support you. Do NOT share it with anyone who may tell or let it slip to the abuser or his supporters.

If you are living with or dating someone who is violent
Because the danger can occur at any time, consider the following:

Yes/No
_______ Practice an escape plan for emergencies.

_______ Go over it with a counselor or advocate.

_______ Teach children emergency and escape action and phone use.

_______ Keep payphone change in a safe place for self/children.

_______ Use portable or cellular phones, if possible.

_______ Use noise-makers (whistle, personal alarm, etc.) to get help.

_______ Ask neighbors to listen, watch, and call police about suspicious people or activities.

_______ Let someone know if you feel violence is about to happen.

When violence does seem close, avoid the kitchen, bathroom, and rooms without any doors to the outside. Begin action on safety plan at any sign of trouble.

If you plan to leave a violent relationship, what is needed?

It is always best to plan for emergencies before there is one.

·        Plan how you will get away from the abuser or get help to come to you.

Emergency number to be called: _____________
Transportation will be: _____________________
Helpers or supporter: _____________________

·        Plan where you will go if you choose to or are forced to leave.

·        Plan what you will take with you if you leave.

·        Plan for children and pets.

·        Plan for other responsibilities and needs.

Which of the following items will you need?

Keeping these items in a bag or container away from the home is best. Avoid using your purse or car.

_____ Identification (driver's license, passports, greencards, work permits)

_____ Birth certificates for self and children

_____ Social Security Cards for self and children

_____ Extra car, house, storage, or other keys

_____ Checkbook, ATM card

_____ Credit cards, bank books, etc.

_____ Address book/phone numbers

_____ Food Stamps, Medicaid Cards, EBT Card, etc.

_____ Car registration

_____ Car, health, and life insurance papers

_____ Proof of income for partner (check stub)

_____ Pre-paid long distance card

_____ Home calling card (calls can be traced)

_____ Copies of bills you owe with your partner

_____ Change of clothes

_____ Medicine and prescriptions (extra)

_____ Personal hygiene products (tampons, toothbrushes, deodorant, etc.)

_____ Diapers, formula, toys, blankets

_____ Pictures, jewelry, keepsakes

Important Safety Tips

·        Remember: the danger may get worse during an escape or after leaving a violent relationship.

·        Have a safety plan for as long as there is communication with/from the abuser and longer. Review it with a counselor often.

·        If you move, put the rent, phone, and utilities into someone else's name if at all possible.

·        Make sure all locks (doors and windows) and lights (indoor and outdoor) work properly.

·        Install alarms on doors and windows. Install smoke alarms, metal doors, or other safety items.

·        Get an unlisted phone number. (Change old number if necessary.)

·        Get an Injunction for Protection.

·        Keep copies of injunction orders at home, work, and in purse.

·        Have another person deliver and pick up children if a judge orders visitation.

·        Use a post office box instead of a street address. Check it during busy hours.

·        Report suspicious activity to police, file violations of the injunction as necessary.

·        Keep copy of divorce, custody orders, etc. at school.

·        Make special arrangements to pick up children from school.

·        Ask school to call about any unusual contact by the abuser.

·        Make the same arrangements with childcare/babysitters as listed above.

·        Have mail sent to the domestic violence center to be forwarded to you or to another safe place. Do not file change of address card with post office. (It is not private.)

Safety Planning at Work

It is important for survivors of domestic violence to be alert and prepared for possible contacts by the abuser during a work day. A safety plan for work may help you if the abuser calls or shows up. Which of these can you use?

Yes/No

_______ Tell co-workers/boss about situation.

_______ Furnish security or receptionist with photograph of the abuser.

_______ Ask the person(s) to call police in an emergency.

_______ Have a backup person if the first one is not at work or not nearby.

_______ Ask someone to screen your calls.

_______ Ask someone to watch out for you.

_______ Plan your entry and exit each day.

_______ Keep a copy of your injunction at work.

_______ Let others know about the injunction.

_______ Request office or desk to be placed in a safe location.

_______ Request help from employee assistance program.

_______ Plan an escape route.

_______ Have a signal for help (whistle, alarm, etc.)

_______ Drive a different way to and from work each day.

_______ Find a safe room to use in an emergency.

_______ Be sure it locks and has a telephone or a window or second door.

_______ Locate a parking space close to the door and in a well-lit place.

_______ If possible, get dropped off and picked up trade cars with someone, or car pool.

If you live in a Rural area

Because of small population, family ties, and social closeness, it can be hard for survivors in rural areas to get help. Many people who live in rural areas cannot leave their home without being noticed or stopped (even for social conversation). When shelters and services are located in larger cities, survivors must travel there to receive help. Staying or returning to a rural area can be safe for many, but domestic violence centers can help you decide and plan.

Yes/No

_______ See if it is safe to stay with friends/family locally or out of town.

_______ Make a special escape plan because it takes police longer to respond.

_______ Make a special escape plan because of problems with transportation or timing.

_______ See if the family car/truck can be taken without being seen or stopped.

_______ Get a ride from a trusted friend or family member.

_______ Get transportation from the county health department.

_______ Keep an escape bag at church, the health department, or another safe place.

_______ See if the leaving and getting away safely can be done without someone alerting the abuser.

Preparing for Feelings

Leaving a relationship, even an abusive one, is very difficult. It is important to know that you may feel sad, lonely, or guilty. Having friends and others to talk to can make a difference.

Please consider:

·        Calling 1-800-500-1119 when you feel lonely or upset.

·        Joining a church, synagogue, temple, or Mosque if appropriate.

·        Taking classes, going to workshops or seminars.

·        Getting involved with the children's activities.

·        Volunteering - if safe, call the United Way or your local domestic violence center.

Where Can You Call for Support?
[Enter phone numbers from your area.]

Domestic Violence Center Hotline: 1-800-500-1119
Local DV Center: ___________________
Sexual Violence Counselor or Center: __________________
AlAnon or A.A: __________________________________
Church Groups: __________________________________
Social Clubs: ____________________________________
School Groups: __________________________________

Who Will Give You Support?
[Enter phone numbers from your area.]

Family Member(s): ________________________________
Friend(s): _______________________________________
_______________________________________________
Co-Worker(s): ___________________________________
Neighbor(s): _____________________________________
Church: _________________________________________
Others: _________________________________________
_______________________________________________

Other Important Numbers:
[Enter phone numbers from your area.]

Doctor's Office: ___________________________________
County Transportation: ______________________________
Medical Transportation: _____________________________
Taxi: ____________________________________________
Greyhound/Trailways Bus: ____________________________
Child's School(s): __________________________________
Lawyer: __________________________________________
Public Assistance: __________________________________
Food Stamps: _____________________________________
EBT Card: ________________________________________

For Toll-Free Assistance

Florida Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-500-1119
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Child Support Assistance: 1-800-622-KIDS
Florida HIV/AIDS Hotline: 1-800-FLA-AIDS
Spanish: 1-800-545-SIDA
Creole: 1-800-AIDS-101
State Abuse Registry: 1-800-96ABUSE
(To report child abuse, elder abuse, or abuse against the disabled.)

Important Numbers for your personal use:
[Enter all phone numbers that apply.]

Police or Sheriff: 911 (if available)
(other local number): ________________________________
Police Victim Advocate: ________________________________
Assisting Officer or Deputy: _____________________________
State Attorney Advocate: _______________________________
Injunction Counselor: __________________________________
Domestic Violence Counselor: ___________________________

To assist you in dealing with the abuser:
[Enter all information known about the abuser.]

Address of someone who can reach him/her:
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Phone Number: ______________________________________
Social Security Number: _______________________________
Employer: __________________________________________
Phone: ______________________________________
Address: ____________________________________
Work Schedule: _______________________________
Lawyer: ___________________________________________
Phone: ______________________________________
Car Make: ________________ Model: __________________
Year: _____ Color: __________ Tag Number: _____________

If you know someone who is being abused, do not look the other way.

·        Let her/him know you are concerned about her/him.

·        Offer to listen.

·        Respect her/his choices, but encourage her/him to talk with professionals about safety issues.

·        Offer as much help as you can, but do not take risks with your own safety. Examples of help: childcare, transportation, a place to stay, a job, lending money.

·        Give her/him a copy of this safety planning worksheet.


Using telephone services or a special device may play a role in getting help or documenting threats.

Some telephone companies offer services that may help domestic violence survivors. These services may also be used by abusers to harass, stalk, threaten, or find survivors. Most require phone company charges. Some of the services include:

Operator Assistance: Operators can dial police and other emergency numbers if you cannot do it or do not know the number. If you do not have some of the services listed below, operators in your area can advise you of other services if they exist.

Voice Mail: Allows you to have a phone number and get messages without answering the phone. No one has to know it's just voice mail.

Caller ID: Shows and records the numbers that call your phone. You have to buy a special electronic box to plug into the phone.

Call Block: Keeps caller ID from recognizing your number.

Trap and Trace: Local telephone companies may be able to mechanically check repetitive calls. This allows for outside documentation of violations of protective injunctions and stalking.

Call Tracing: Dialing *57 on a touchtone operated phone or 1157 on a rotary phone verifies to the police the last call into your number.

Last Number Redial: Dialing *69 on a touchtone operated phone or 1169 on a rotary phone obtains the last number called and can dial back to the caller.

Collect calls and calls billed to another number: Use caution when making these calls. They can be traced. If calling the batterer, make these calls from payphones out of your neighborhood or town. Consider buying a pre-paid calling card.

The information above was prepared by FCADV in cooperation with the U.S. Department of Justice. It was originally published February 15, 1999 as a project supported by grant No. MJ940 awarded by the Violence Against Women Grants Office, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. Information contained within this brochure do not necessarily reflect the official position or policies of the State of Florida, the U.S. Department of Justice, or any other agency of the state or federal government. Reprinted on FCADV website October 14, 2002.