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3/29/06 ~ Sadness
I learned that my friend decided to end her MySpace for various reasons. This is sad. I enjoyed reading her frequent/infrequent posts on her relationships and troubles in college life. But now, it's over. Where will I turn for some inspiration on life, love, and happiness? Thanks for all of your words, your eloquence, your non-eloquence. I see no bravery9/27 ~ I Have No Title For This
Wow, four hours in the library. I never thought I could accomplish such a feat. For most of that time, I finished reading All the King's Men, a great book if you've never read it. Although it's quite lengthy, a massive 661 pages, it's a quick read. I have class in less than seven hours, so a part of me is saying I should be sleeping. Still, I have to get my topic idea for this paper due later this week. I hope these next four days go quickly and I can't wait until the weekend. Only 11 days until Pitt! Like time there's always time on my mind 9/26 ~ College is Great
College is great, I'm not gonna lie (as that seems to be a preferred phrase here). It's early Monday morning and I'm trying to get some work done for the week. I had a good weekend despite the perpetual headache Saturday and how fast the days went. Penn State and the Dallas Cowboys won; I'm very happy about that. I didn't get much work done this weekend, but I'm not that worried. I've been listening to this Kenny Chesney song over and over, it's just that good. It's called "Never Gonna Feel Like That Again". Go listen to it, you will like it. The only drawback is that I think a lot about life and I'm sad about some aspects of mine. But, it's still a great song. No I'm never gonna feel like that again5/8 ~ Blinded All Along Cable news networks are terrible. I have drawn this conclusion after being addicted to them for a number of months, especially during the 2004 presidential election. I think that now I realize the absolute absurdity of the 24-hours news shows; they have so much time to fill that they end up recycling the same old news, but adding different analysts/pundits/commentators. I used to like the nighttime talk show programs, i.e. Hannity & Colmes, but all they do is shout and argue about seemingly unimportant subjects. It was a good run, though. Now, I am liberated from the junk I used to watch. 5/7 ~ A Million Miles to NowhereI met a man today--a trucker--who has driven more than one million miles in his big rig--and that's just with his present company. To me that number is astonishing. To him, however, it was no big deal. He told me how he drives to Florida every week and has been doing it for more than ten years. He has been doing it so long that he hates it. "It pays the bills," he said to me. It's a job. I hear that often from people and it is very sad. Why do so many people hate their careers, but are just comfortable enough to stay to "pay the bills." I suppose I have found the answer right there. This is depressing. Am I going to be one of those people who ends up in a job I hate but stays for economic reasons? Am I going to be miserable because I refuse to take risks in aspiring for something different and better? I sure hope not because that would be awful with those lingering "what if?"s. 5/6 ~ A Good NightTo Friday Clever conversation with friends, 5/5 ~ Just Help Already My elderly neighbor asked me to come over and help him with his electronics. I didn't want to because, well, I'm selfish and like having time to myself. I had to teach and reteach him how to program and reprogram his telephone and TV, respectively. It took nearly an hour to get everything done, but he was very grateful for me helping him. When I got home and was just sitting here, I started thinking about what I just did. I didn't want to help him and he probably was unaware of that. But I did, and he was thankful as always when I help him. It seems that no matter what I do for him, he is grateful, and I appreciate that. 5/4 ~ The Equality of Time Sometime in my life, I hope to become someone important where I am in charge of people or I am in a profession where people make appointments to see me (conceited, yes, I know). When that is the case, I hope to be the punctual leader, not the one who feels his time is worth more than others. I'm not going to identify any people here today, but there are some who feel that because they have "Dr." in front of their names, their time is more valuable. For instance, I waited forty minutes today past my scheduled appointment time. When he arrived, he said "Oh, was I supposed to be here?" I don't appreciate when that happens to me so I will not do that when I become important. That is my pledge. 5/3 ~ Just Write it Down! Writing is a powerful tool and one that I would say is integral to almost any career one chooses to pursue. I enjoy writing and I actually want to write a novel or a nonfiction book sometime in my life. I think one of the best things aspiring writers can do is to write down their thoughts, feelings, emotions and experiences in a notebook. I like to put on a good CD, sit back and write. It's relaxing and it's liberating putting everything down on paper. It may feel awkward at first seeing everything written down, so much candor, maybe too much, but it's beneficial. It has to be. 5/2 ~ What Really Kills Us Regret is one of the worst feelings to have in life. There are many things that I regret; however, none that I care to mention here. I abhor regret because I'll always look back wondering, wishing and asking questions like "What if...?" Regret teaches us to seize the moment, but it's not always easy. Life is challenging and sometimes we are scared to face the risks. Regret is awful. Well, maybe it's just inevitable. 5/1 ~ I Just Am These past few days, weeks, months even, I have been just living. Not enjoying life; not hating it. (Ok, maybe at times.) For the most part, I have been going through the motions, as they say in baseball. Get up, go to school, do this, do that, sleep, and do it all over again. It's very repetitive. I think many people think this way. Life goes by way too fast. It feels like yesterday I was a freshman and now I'm a month away from graduation. I'm not sure what this all means, if it means anything at all. 4/30 ~ Who Needs Junk? Americans love to spend money on junk. Then again, one man (or woman’s) junk is another’s treasure. Today at work, for instance, a woman purchased three small oval-shaped lawn rocks—for lack of a better term—because they were only two dollars each. They were each inscribed with different words; The only one I remember was one that read “Peace.” She wasted six dollars to put them in her garden probably in her mind to “give it personality.” Give me a break. I hate things like those: lawn decorations, strange figures, odd paintings and ever-promising “antiques” that people relish. What the hell is the point of all this insanity? What is wrong with you people? Maybe I’m too plain a person. Or maybe I think that all that stuff is a waste of space and money. My house is not going to be bare by any means, but it will be filled with much more meaningful things. Shelves will be adorned with books, hundreds of them, all for my reading enjoyment. And CDs too, because good music is timeless. 4/29 ~ The Justice System I listened to a speaker talk about our justice system and how he wished that we could see inside the courtrooms and regain our appreciation for the process. He said too often we are influenced by media, who don’t give us the full picture. Essentially, his point was that our judicial system is great and the public needs to be cognizant of our that. I think our system does good and bad things. Honest people are cleared of their names and those who commit crimes are put in prison. The opposite is also true. I do think that if a person has enough money, he can buy his own verdict. Case in point: O.J. Simpson. Everyone is granted an attorney, but money always buys the best ones. That is a sad truth of our system. 4/28 ~ Time Time is a crazy thing if you think about it. It robs us of our innocence, taking us through strange new adventures, with dangers previously unseen. However, time brings new friends, memories and challenges that enrich our lives if we choose to embrace them. When I really think about it, time is a human creation to numerically describe our existence. In essence, it is nothing. It is a fabrication. But, it's something because all the clocks and my watch tell me so. My time is well spent here and now, typing this and listening to Ben, Gavin and Howie. Life is short so listen to goood music! 4/27 ~ Reminiscence, Remembrance and Reality Today was another one of those days where I sit and think aimlessly about the past, present and future. In particular, I was at Starbucks with a friend and we were pondering the end of the school year and the culmination of our high school career. I told her how I was going to miss nearly everyone in our class. That's odd that I say that now because at the beginning of the year I couldn't wait to get out of school and move on with my life. Now, I am ambivalent: I want new challenges and new people while at the same time retaining my current friendships. I realize, though, that this is life and it goes on (Robert Frost). While it will be sad to say goodbye to so many good memories and people, high school has been important for me in developing my character. These past four years, while I didn't always enjoy them, taught me numerous things about myself including my sense of individualism and respect--for self and others. To that, I say thank you to Villa and everyone who helped shape me into the person I have become. |