[Another fine day in Cleveland, Ohio. Men are everywhere trying to get that mother's day present before their mom forgets. It just so happens that The Duck, whom has just returned to LaW, is hanging about somewhere inside of this mall. And it just so happens the camera is focusing right on him. There's an old woman standing next to him, her hair as gray as slate.]
Woman: So, Ducky, what did you get me for mother's day? I hate to ask but you've been avoiding the question all day.
The Duck: I...uhh...I...
[The Duck begins to scratch his head.]
Duck's Mother: Hmm?
[The Duck starts to fiddle his thumbs as his mother looks on with a stern glare.]
The Duck: Well...
Duck's Mother: You forgot, didn't you?
The Duck: I...Well...I have to pick it up.
[The Duck obviously looks uneasy and on edge.]
Duck's Mother: YOU LITTLE BASTARD! AAAAAAH!
[His mother slaps Duck over the head with her purse.]
The Duck: Mooooom! Not in front of the public!
[His mother slaps him again with her purse.]
Duck's Mother: Don't talk to me like that!
The Duck: Sorry.
[Yet another slap from his mother.]
The Duck: What was that for?
Duck's Mother: For being born!
The Duck: Sheesh, mom. Lighten up.
[Pow! A sickening thud echos down the halls as Duck falls over from a "purse slap". The Duck gets up and shakes himself off.]
Duck's Mother: I didn't tell you to get up!
[The Duck blocks the purse that was coming towards his face and then turns around and begins to run.]
Duck's Mother: Don't you run away from me young man!
[The Duck doesn't look back and keeps going until he is out of view. The scene changes to a CD store, where Duck is hiding behind the racks of musical memorabilia.]
???: Sir!
[The Duck spins around to face a tall man. He has a name tag in the upper right corner of his blue shirt. The name tag reads "Billy Bob".]
The Duck: Yeah?
Billy Bob: Empty out your pockets sir.
The Duck: Huh?
[The Duck stares in confusion.]
Billy Bob: I saw you take that Good Charlotte CD right there.
The Duck: Good Charlotte?! Why in the hell would I take a Good Charlotte CD!? They fucking suck!
Billy Bob: Calm down and watch your mouth, boy.
The Duck: I didn't steal anything!
Billy Bob: Sir...Empty out your pockets.
The Duck: I don't have anything in my pockets! For the last time!
Billy Bob: Calm down, sir.
The Duck: CALM DOWN!? CALM DOWN!? YOU WANT TO SEE ME CALM DOWN!?
Billy Bob: Lower your voice sir.
The Duck: You redneck bastard!
Billy Bob: What did you say, sir?
The Duck: I said kiss my ass goodbye!
[Duck swiftly turns around and speeds out of the music store, only to bump into his mother, who immediately begins to pound the crap out of Duck with her purse.]
The Duck: Aaaaaah!
[The Duck takes off running and doesn't stop.]
((-FADE OUT-))
((-FADE IN-))
[The Duck had finally gotten away from the crazed clerk and his mother and is now inside of the confinements of his home. He is sprawled out on his couch. Drool begins to trickle down his mouth. All of a sudden, there's a knock on the door. The Duck quickly gets up to answer the door. He turns the knob and immediately, the door swings open and a man in a thong barges in. The Duck is knocked over by the near-naked-man. All he is wearing is a thong with a feather printed on the front. The Duck gets open and stares in disgust.]
The Duck: And just who the hell are you?
Near-Naked-Man: I'm Goose Boy!
The Duck: Oh god...
[The Duck shakes his head.]
Gooseboy: I've been sent to manage you career.
The Duck: I don't need any management. And I don't need any men with thongs on in my house. So leave.
Gooseboy: I can't do that. You're bounded to a non existent contract.
The Duck: Oh, okay. Now get out.
Gooseboy: I can't do that.
The Duck: Oh, yeah. Now leave.
Gooseboy: Look, the company I work for is willing to pay you to let me be your manager.
The Duck: Really?
Gooseboy: Really.
The Duck: I'll do it on one condition.
Gooseboy: What would that be?
The Duck: GET SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON!
[Gooseboy jumps back a few feet.]
Gooseboy: Jeez, okay, okay.
[Gooseboy walks outside and grabs a bag from the doorstep. Obviously, he expected this situation and came prepared.]
The Duck: There's a bathroom in the third door on the right, down that hall.
((-FADE OUT-))
((-FADE IN-))
[The faint echo of footsteps can be heard in the distance. A shadow appears on the wall, slowly coming towards the camera. The Duck, followed by Gooseboy, appears on screen. They enter Duck's locker room. Duck tosses his bag to the side and takes off his jacket.]
The Duck: Uhh...Just go stand in the corner and don't talk.
Gooseboy: Why?
The Duck: Because I'm embarassed of you.
Gooseboy: Why?
The Duck: Because you're a fuckin' quack!
Gooseboy: Oh, okay. Whatever you say.
[There's a knock on the door. The Duck opens it up to find Chaz Hart.]
Chaz Hart: Ooooooooh, Duck. It's been so long!
[Chaz Hart goes to hug The Duck but Duck slaps him across the face.]
Chaz Hart: *in a faint voice* sorry...
The Duck: So, what do you want?
Chaz Hart: What do you think?
[The Duck slaps Chaz again.]
Chaz Hart: I want an interview, okay!?
The Duck: Okay.
[The Duck sits down and awaits for Chaz to start firing questions at him.]
Chaz Hart: First off, who is that guy?
The Duck: Oh, him. That's gooseboy.
Chaz Hart: I see...Why did you come back to LaW?
The Duck: Well, I couldn't stay away. After I had left, a part of me didn't feel whole. I needed to be in the ring. Oh, and I also had some unfinished business with Kris Kobra.
Chaz Hart: Speaking of Kris Kobra, what do you think about The New Breed?
The Duck: The New Breed? What a joke. Look, I proved to Kobra that I can put up a fight. He may have won the battle, but he sure as hell hasn't won the war. His little butt buddies can walk around wearing their pink underwear all they want. They can prance in ballerina suits, they can do the macarena....But they can never take me down. I know how these guys roll, they're going to do everything in their power to stop me from getting to Kobra. Well, I've shown that I can get by their security...I proved that when I caught Kobra by suprise and nailed him out. The New Breed are going to be crashing down while I stand back and watch it all happen.
Chaz Hart: You seem really confident.
The Duck: When am I not?
Chaz Hart: Good question. What do you think of Kris Kobra?
The Duck: He's a good competitor, but he's under the wrong influence. Periel is warping his mind into his "dark" ways. I know what "dark" ways he's teaching. Kris Kobra is slowly making the transition into a homosexual. Goddamn you Periel, why? why!?
Chaz Hart: Whoa! Calm down. Now, about your match on Havok. You are facing Xenocide, one of Kris Kobra's buddies.
The Duck: Xenocide is just another obstacle. I don't plan on walking out a loser. I don't plan on getting pinned for the one, two, three. I don't plan on submitting. But I do plan on severely hurting this guy. I don't know much about him, nor does he know much about me. Which makes us even. I garauntee a win at Havok to kick off my comeback. And I know The New Breed is going to be lurking around the backstage area, just waiting for a chance to attack me. So I'm going to be keeping my gaurd up. Although, even if I do get ambushed. It won't stop me from getting my first win since returning to LaW.
Chaz Hart: Thank you for your time, Mr. Duck. I'll be seeing you around.
The Duck: See ya.
[Chaz Hart leaves the room. The Duck looks at the camera and begins speaking.]
The Duck: Xenocide, don't let me crazy antics fool you. It's a mask, a technique, I use to boggle my opponents. Come Thursday, I'll prove that I am not a joke. I'll prove that I am not a clown. And I'll prove that Xenocide is nothing more than a joke.
Gooseboy: You have a meeting with Ben Affleck at four, sir.
The Duck: I didn't schedule that meeting.
Gooseboy: Of course not, I did.
The Duck: Damn, what am I getting myself into?
[The Duck drags himself out of the locker room with Gooseboy trailing him.]
((-FADE OUT-))
