Just like every morning,  *****e put on the radio for his commute to work.  However, today something was different.  The local Chicago radio station that *****e was listening to was having a contest.  They would play three Metallica songs that had been edited together and you had to call in and name them.  As the medley ended, *****e, a lifelong metallica fan entered the zone.  He knew all three songs.  Dialing and driving like a madman (both).  He got through to the radio station's contest line and rattled off the three song titles.  He was right.  He had won.  He wasn't sure just what he had won, but he was the winner.  The prize you ask? 

A crocheted (yarn) penis.

Congratulations *****e! Way to go!