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The Walt Disney World Adventure
-Day 6: Climbing the mountains

Written : 08/24/04

Ah, day six. Itís taken me a hell of a long time, but weíre almost at the end. Just this one and then the one for days 7 and 8 (theyíre together because theyíre both rather short and sans-pictures.) and Iím finally done. I guess I could also put together something about all the stuff I brought back, even though most of it isnít even from Disney World, but the various stores around the Orlando area. I didnít bring back souvenirs, I brought back a bunch of crap that I could have bought on any vacation. How very me.

Back to the story, day six started out exactly like every other day, with me showering, watching TV, and eating. We leave for our second day at the Magic Kingdom with high hopes and blistered feet. Itís been a long week so far, and itís almost over. As much pain and heat that I endured, Iíd do it all again in a flash. Duh, of course. Itís a freaking vacation to Disney World. Iím pretty sure anyone would jump at the chance.

But before we got to the Magic Kingdom, there was one much more important stop that we needed to make. Somewhere Iíd been burning to visit ever since we got there: Downtown Disney. This is were you get all your shopping done. This is where they keep all the best souvenirs and other merchandise, as well as tons of non-Disney stuff. This is the place that would most likely fit the description of my perfect mall. And our first stop was possibly the best of them all.

The Virgin Megastore. Two stories of everything that I love and even more. The first floor was obviously dedicated to rows upon rows of CDs and movies, both DVD and VHS of course. Heaven for music and or movie/television lovers. I spent a good half-hour perusing the seemingly endless shelves of CDs, and despite all spending urges, only came out with 2 CDs. As for the DVD section, I tried and tried to find an Evil Dead Trilogy set, but at this point, Iím pretty sure it doesnít exist. Iíll have to go check on the internet later. I did find the South Park movie for only $10, so I snatched that up as fast as I could.

Upstairs was a lot less fantastic. There were video games, yes, but this was hindered by one little flaw. There were very few video games. There were maybe two (small) shelves holding games for all three systems, and about 3 GBA games in total. Other things on the second floor that didnít interest me were books and clothes. There might have been other stuff too, but I just looked at the games, sighed in defeat, and then went back downstairs.

Next up was the LEGO store. You think youíve seen some impressive LEGO statues before? You ainít seen nothing yet. B-b-b-b-baby you just ainít seen nothing yet. As you can see from the picture, there was a spaceship and an Ogopogo-type sea monster. The sea monster doesnít look that big in the pic, but the thing was huge. Mostly made of length, but huge. There were all sorts of other things like a dude made of LEGO sitting on a bench and a bunch of other things I canít remember. And this was all just on the outside.

Inside, they must have had every kind of LEGO paraphernalia ever made. There were sets lining the walls and shelves, with t-shits and keychains, and giant-sized versions of actual LEGO planes and such hanging from the ceiling. I think Iím supposed to spell LEGO with all caps, I donít know for sure. And among all this, there were just a couple items that really stood out for meÖ

Booyah! I am the LEGO king! I didnít actually buy any of the assorted weaponry and armors, but it was fun to play around with them for a while. And in the back to my right (your left), you can see brick vendors. Any type of brick, and Iím pretty sure ANY type of brick, can be found here. The whole damn wall was covered with these little brick-filled cubbies. There was one last thing in the LEGO store that I likedÖ

We walked to the other side of the shop and lo and behold, the most chilling of all things was waiting for us there. There was a giant, must have been four times as tall as me, composed entirely of duplo Ronald Mc-freaking-Donald. But no, this was not the worst part. It was what stood behind Ronald that made me uneasy. It was an honest-to-God McDonaldís store. Yes, they sold ďfoodĒ there too, but in the windows and inside, there was all sort of McDís merchandise. Screw anything the Bible might say (Oh Iím going to Hell), this is clearly the first sign of the apocalypse. A big Chuck-E-Cheeseís style McDonaldís is cool, but a McDonaldís store is just evil incarnate.

Giant Tinker Toys! I loved those things when I was a kid! I could spend hours trying to put something together that might actually resemble more than a pile of crap. To Hell with Kínex, Tinker Toys is where itís at. Bitch.

Did you guess that our next stop was a toy store? Yes? Good for you. Well yeah, thatís where we went next. Inside were all sorts of fabulous stuffs, like G.I Joes and Star Wars stuff, and mountains upon mountains of Disney plush toys. Among the mess, I picked out a Cobra commander action figure and an Oogie Boogie plushie. There is only one excuse for a man to have plush toys, and thatís if theyíre from a franchise that he loves. And damned if I donít love that The Nightmare Before Christmas movie.

Finally, we stopped by the ESPN/Disney store to get a good dose of manliness after all this toy business. As you may have expected, it was full of sports-related goods, but also held some surprises. Of all places, this was the only store to have video game demos set up. There was one of each system, all playing sports games of course, and a GBA playing Pirates of the Caribbean. Beats me why the GBA wasnít playing a sports title, but I can tell you this: Pirates of the Caribbean for GBA blows.

I toyed with the idea of buying a new golf shirt for a while, but before I could make a final decision, the rest of the group got bored and forced me to leave with no spoils. So it was back to the Magic Kingdom, where we would explore all that other stuff we missed the first time through. And because Iím getting bored with this typing thing, Iím going to fly through it as fast as I can.

The first objective during the return trip to the kingdom was to finish up on the all too glorified mountains of Disney. And closest to the entrance was Splash Mountain, arguably the second most well-known Disney World attraction right next to the teacups. Of course, it required fast passes, so we got summa those and since it was noon oí clock, we headed for lunch while we waited for them to become valid. We settled on some kind of old west styled resto and discovered that it was even more crowded than the walking paths.

It took about half the time we were there to find a seat and wait in line for the foods. I suffered through a horrible decision between a bacon cheeseburger and a hot dog, and eventually settled on the hot dog because Iím picky and scared of foreign burgers. Turned out to be one hell of a hot dog. One of my cohorts got a huge ass turkey leg and didnít get anywhere close to finishing the thing. Fortunately, all that waiting passed the time quite well, and we continued on to Splash Mountain.

Whee! They say itís a wet ride, but itís only wet if youíre lucky. Or unlucky, depending on your opinion of being wet. The Splash Mountain is a decent ride, but itís pretty tame until that one big drop. There are a couple more little slopes on the way there, but nothing too interesting. Also, there is some really annoying crap in that mountain, particularly near the end. Damn forest animals and their need to sing. Damn Disney for letting them get away with it.

Before that, weíd picked up passes for the last mountain, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. And by the time we were done, they were almost ready to be used. So we gallivanted over to Liberty Square (go check Day 2 for the MK map) to get passes for the Haunted Mansion. It was a little wait, and we did get to see that big boat up there, and judging by how fun it was to watch the boat, we were better off seeing the boat than on the boat.

Finally getting to the thing I wanted to do most that day, we boarded the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Personally, I love the ride. Itís not super hardcore as a roller coaster, but itís fun. Plenty of twists and turns make for a good ride, and itís of a decent length to boot. Pretty much everyone was on board to go again, but as the voice of reason, my mom noted that we still had plenty more to see before the day was done.

So pressing on, we returned to the eeriest (not saying much, mind you) site on the Magic Kingdom grounds besides the little shack behind Splash Mountain, the Haunted Mansion. For all you idiots out there, the movie is based on the ride. Not the other way around. I mean, there are people who believe the Pirates of the Caribbean ride is based on the movie, and we just canít allow people to go around being stupid like that.

Really, the best part of the ride was watching my youngest brother tremble in fear during the process of getting to the ride part of the ride. The entire first half of the mansion experience is just passing trough the house on your way to the basement, where you actually get on the cart and into the ride. There is a lot of cool stuff in there, particularly the elevator. Itís something you just have to experience. As for the rest of the ride, I canít say I was too pleased, as it was pretty weak. I donít know why I was expecting something awesome; after all, the thing was made decades ago.

When I had been here back in my youth, I was scared totally shitless by this thing, but not quite as bad as my little bro. He had it way worse; we had to drag him in crying and screaming. Me, I endured the first part of it bravely, but just closed my eyes during the cart ride. The second time around, I kicked the mansionís ass. Didnít even jump at the pop-ups, and Iím a very jumpy person. At the end of the ride, I was quite proud of myself, because I had officially been on everything I chickened out on back when I was nine. Of course, it might have just been that I didnít want to lose face in front of all the hot chicks in the parks.

There really isnít more than a paragraph to say about Mickeyís Philharmagic. Just like all of the other 3-D shows around, it was enjoyable and slightly aggravating. And this time, it wasnít bad touching that made me angry, it was the fact that they fanned pie-smell in to the room. Pie-smell!! I wanted pie for so long after that show, and I never got it either. They should give you free pies as you leave, just so you donít feel disappointed by the damn thing. Other than that big disaster of an effect, it was entertaining, with some very impressive CG imagery.

As my brother rode the merry-go-round, I felt compelled to pull on the sword sticking out of the anvil. Of course, my attempts were futile. It looks like Iím not going to be the hero of legends after all. To think I went and bought all those bombs and that hookshot for nothing. I swear I didnít just digitally alter that hat in there either.

Yeah, like I have to write anything for this one.

After that, we left for a while, and did things which I can no longer remember, but Iím pretty sure they were all legal. Although I do remember taking a nice nap somewhere along the way, and this day seems to have been the one where we had the most free time. So there was probably some napping and TV watching involved. I bet there was even some GameBoy tucked away in there somewhere too. You know how I love my GameBoy.

And then we came back. Why would we come back after our day had been completed? Well, there was a little matter of a fireworks spectacular that just couldnít be avoided. Funny story about on the way in too. My brother was playing his GameBoy while we were walking to the entrance and the handstamp-checker chick was like ďGameBoy in Disney World? Youíre crazy!Ē I agreed, and proceeded to put my hand over the small GameBoy shaped bulge in my pocket (yes, it was my GameBoy, pervert). Now that I think of it though, this might have happened when we went to the Epcot fireworks show. Canít say for sure, but I know it did happen somewhere.

I got a lot more pictures of this one, so have a look-see if you like.

All in all, it was a great show, but not quite the same as that of Epcot. There was music and all, but it wasnít totally synched up with the exploding like it should have been. It was just kind of a ďwatch the pretty lights while music blares to cover up the boomsĒ deal. But I could still hear the booms. Unfortunately for my mom, who was dying to see the show, she decided sheíd stick with our original spot way at the front of the park, whilst my brother and I advanced to a much better position. She was still totally awe-struck, so I guess it doesnít matter, but itís nice to get a good spot.

So that was it. That was the end of my vacation in Disney World. Sure, we still had one day left, but it was going to be devoted to the water parks, which I didnít want to see at all (not a big swimmer), but the family works on a monarchial system, and thatís what my parents wanted to do so thatís what we did. Or more so, what we were going to do. I donít want to get too ahead of myself here. Anyhow, the day was done, and I was hyped up for the designated resting period, or ďbedtimeĒ if you prefer. Even if I do find sleeping a waste of time, I certainly love to do it. And thatís about what I need to do now, after all this typing. I be outs, yo.

E-Mail: Mr_Hotshot64v2@hotmail.com