Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey)
Dumb & Dumber

See this? This is my BOOM STICK! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that!?

Ashley 'Ash' Williams (Bruce Campbell)
Army of Darkness

I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt)
Fight Club

COOP: I want you inside me.

KATIE: What was that?

COOP: I said . . . "Hey, what's up." You know, from before.

Coop (Michael Showalter)
Wet Hot American Summer

DUPONT: And you, Preston, the supposed savior of the resistance are now its destroyer and along with them, you've given me yourself... calmly... coolly... Entirely without incident.

PRESTON: No...

[Polygraph goes dead]

TECHNICIAN: Oh, Shit!

PRESTON: Not with out incident

John Preston (Christian Bale)
Equilibrium

DEMON: I'll swallow your soul! I'll swallow your soul!

ASH: Swallow this.

Ashley 'Ash' Williams (Bruce Campbell)
Evil Dead II

You know what I'm gonna do today? I'm gonna hate me some niggers. That's all I'm gonna do all day is hate some niggers. I don't even know what a nigger is, but I know I'm gonna hate 'em. My cousin Derek's in jail right now workin' next to a nigger, driving him nigger crazy!

Lamont (Guy Torry)
American History X

SUMMERISLE: I am confident your suspicions are wrong, Sergeant. We do not commit murder here. We are a deeply religious people.

SERGEANT HOWIE: Religious?! With ruined churches, no ministers, no priests...and children dancing naked!

SUMMERISLE: They do love their divinity lessons.

SERGEANT HOWIE: But they are... are naked!

SUMMERISLE: Well, naturally. It's much too dangerous to jump through fire with their clothes on.

Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee)
The Wicker Man

You're probably wondering what a handsome devil like me is doing in a place like this with you, right?

Ashley 'Ash' Williams (Bruce Campbell)
Fistfull of Boomstick

We each owe a death, there are no exceptions, I know that. But sometimes, oh god, the green mile is so long

Paul Edgecomb (Dabbs Greer)
The Green Mile

The Lord tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fucked.

Stephen (David O'Hara)
Braveheart

Hail to the king, baby.

Ashley 'Ash' Williams (Bruce Campbell)
Army of Darkness