Ever sInce my death, I feel so much more burdened. Like I haVe much more to look back at, and not enough to hold onto. Why I stay, I have no clue. Maybe I'm waiting for something...or someone...Or maybe I'm procrastinating like how I did in Life. Heh, Yea It was a pathetic one...I thought that, after I killed myself...i wouldn't 'FEEl' ANYMORE. The total Opposite happened....I began to 'feel' more, more of everything, like my emotions were magnified. But still as I walk among the strange souls on earth I must passify those emotions as best I can. There's only a handful of people I actually let read me, but they are only people I truely trust and can count on to be there when I need them the most. They are people who I know won't parade me around for the paparazzi to target. I mean how many people you know, walk with the dead? REALLY!!?
I don't mean vampyres, That's more so a religion than a horror flick. People get it confused. Vampyres ARE infact. 'real' PEOPLE who have more so morbid lusts and ideas. No I'm one of those people who attempted suiside and when I woke up I 'THOUGHT' i was a live, when infact I was DEAD, D-E-A-D. Of course I didnt realize this at the time. I thought I had woken up from a failed attempt. No that's when my life went to shit, I began to realize I was in some sort of manifested hell, not the kind of hell you see on tv, or the kind you hear on the radio or in the bible. No this was a self-manifested prison, one I fell blindly into after of course I hit rock bottom. As if things couldn't get any worse. They did, as they usually do. I died inside, noone knew, not even my closest friends. Noone knew how far from grace I'd fallen, how fucked up I was inside. Noone even asked me...
So I walk among the living, Dead inside, Hoping one day I 'll return home...
After all, home is where the heart is...right?
Posted by hero/less_than_zero
at 12:36 PM EDT
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