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Life after Death
Thursday, 2 October 2003
Helter-Skelter
I feel like ... I got gass in my heart and My brain has exploded. Like everything I once knew is worthless, everything I 've learned up until now about love and life... were all in vain. The efforts i made to stay in-love, or to stay faithful, to love one and be loved, my so-called principles, where all in vain. I failed miserably, and pay for it each day. It's sort of a long story that YOu probably shouldnt get involved in, quite tragic as well, but I mean if anyone really wants to hear it in full, I'll be glad to email it to you. Let me put it this way, it envolves star-crossed lovers, yes like Rome-fecking-o and Juliet. I swear I used to love that story before I understood what it was about. Here I was thinking it was this romantic tale and star-crossed meaning they were, lol, get this, into the stars....ok i was 12 and really dumb at that.
NEway, iT'S PRETTY pathetic...my life and how its falling apart. I know i'M Not the only one of course, I'm unique just like everyone else. I'm just so fecking confused about everything right now, here I am inlove with my best friend of 6 yrs...but I'm already commited to someone else of 5 (on and off yrs). my 'man' is overseas, and I am here in Jersey, Dying of lonelyness, and who else to help me with that, but my best friend. Of course I don't mean in the sexual manner, no we havent crossed any boundaries, its much deeper than that, tell you something, its deeper than any other relationship i ever had in my life. I know your saying, "WELL WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU WITH YOUR FRIEND?" Well that too is also a long story, so let me put it this way, WE fecked up, royally! and that's that.
Can I ever get a fuggin break? SOme one pass my the .22 so I can spare myself any further heartbreak.

Posted by hero/less_than_zero at 5:06 AM EDT
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Thursday, 2 October 2003 - 6:39 PM EDT

Name: Vivid Idea

Damn Sounds like you need to write a book, but then again...why? I mean what fullfilment would you get from it? Well either way I wouldn't mind hearing more on your um situation, perhaps you wouldnt mind any of Add-vice. Well either way, good luck on your journies n whatnot.

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