Jordan,
I know we were never extremely close..I hate myself for that..I’m still on the unbelieving side of all this…Even though I know you are gone, I still keep waiting for you to walk through those doors with that goofy smile you always had and that little head-bobbing walk…And truthfully, today, I did see you walk in with that goofy smile and head-bobbing walk…I don’t think anyone else did..They were all too upset to notice..But, I saw you, Jordan…You stood in front of Drew, smiling ear to ear, and you held him up…You gave him strength to make it through the day…I saw you with Caitlin,walking down the hall, bobbing your head, smiling that devlish grin, and holding her hand the whole way through the halls and whispering to her how much you love her, even if she didn’t hear you…I saw you with Colby, standing behind him, patting him on the back and telling him that it’s gonna be ok, even though he was too upset to realize…And Jordan, when I stepped out of the car at the graveyard today, and stepped up to your grave, and looked at all those flowers, I saw you…But mostly, I felt you, though I just thought it was the wind…And shrugged my shoulder to get rid of the chill bumps….We can’t ask why you’re gone, Jordan..Because, you aren’t gone..You live on in every single one of us…And when we least expect, you’re there…You were drying our tears at the funeral, you were holding our hands as we walked down the hallway today, you were sitting beside us at lunch, telling us what mischief you’d gotten into lately, and you are with us right now..I remember I was riding to school this morning, and the sun was so bright…It kept peeping through the woods as we drove along the road, and at the end of the woods, it just plastered rays of light, all over the road and all over my body, and everything in sight was covered with this blinding, beautiful, light…And it reminded me of you…Because like the sun, you would light up anything you came into contact with, even people you never knew you had….Right now, I want to be so mad and so sad, but I can’t be…I can’t be mad or sad…Because Jordan, when I stood at the foot of your grave today, something inside me kept saying that I was being selfish…You deserved Heaven, you didn’t deserve this dump hole called Earth…You deserved so much more than that..And now, buddy, you finally have it…I can’t remember not looking at you and breaking out into a smile..I couldn’t do it…Everytime I saw you, I just had to smile…It was almost like a rule…You never knew how much better you made me want to be…Hopefully, now you do…Jordan, do me a favor…Let Caitlin know that it’s ok..When she has those lonely moments, show her your love…Give hr something that will make her smile..Send her memory that will make her laugh..And wheh she cries, catch her teardrops before they fall, and when she sees you again in Heaven, give them back to her..And tell her you were there all along…Help Drew…He needs you Jordan…If this would have been different, you would have probably been the first person he would call and cry with…Help him to realize that you’re still with him everyday..And when he feels like he can’t do it anymore, Jordan, remind him that he can move mountains if he just has faith…Jordan, be with Colby, too…You have been best friends for forever…And when you lose your best friend, it’s almost like losing yourself.. So, just be with him, Jordan…Help him reflect on the good times you both shared…And give him understanding through all this…Make them all stronger through this..And bring us all a lot closer together…I know that you barely knew me Jordan, and I barely knew you, but after all this I know, I will never forget you…I love you Jordan Etheridge…
P.S.
Tell God hello for me..
Your friend,
Keri Ensley
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“There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
God wouldn't let it live.”
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What Jordan Was To Me
Other Stuff
Memories
For Matey Caity from Hairy Keri
Some Jordan Pictures
Pictures cont..
More Pictures
Letter to Jordy from Caity
Caity Pictures..
From Emily To Her Big Brother..
