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Notes: Firstly, thank you all for reviewing and submitting your suggestions. Let us explain that there will be 24 "episodes", so to speak, so we don't really have time to get into descriptions. We are taking that you know the story of Ayashi no Ceres so we only bothered mentioning the important parts of this parallel universe. And, given that this IS a parallel universe, many of Aki's experiences will be similar to that of Aya's. In fact, this story IS a parody of Ayashi no Ceres: see title.

As you can see, our characters are very out-of-character. Yes, in short, they are assholes. After all, this is a humorous alternate universe and anything can happen! Even cross-dressing grandpas! XD No just kidding, we didn't do anything along those lines. Another reason for Aya's behavior is because we're just shaping her into the 'evil Ceres' that is soon to come. As you should recall at the end of the series, Aki/Mikage becomes a real prick... and we just thought it'd be a lot more believeable if Aya became a real bitch. Well, without further ado... on with the story!

Akishi no Mikage

Episode 2

The lights flickered and suddenly went out. The dark corner didn't seem to be so dark anymore, although Aki still couldn't see the man that had retreated to it. A loud crash of thunder echoed the room as the sky opened up and poured rain forcefully over the house and the windows.

Aki stared fearfully at the shadow of his grandfather approaching him as a bolt of lightning flashed outside the window.

The clicking of high heels suddenly stopped as Grandpa Mikage froze in his steps. A small droplet of water landed on the old man's bald head and trickled down his wrinkled scalp. "Damn! I knew I should have fixed this leaky ceiling sooner!" The clicks then resumed until the old man was right in front of Aki and Aya.

The sound of water hitting the windows gave way to the creaky voice of their grandfather as he spoke, "Aki, you are nothing but danger to the financial success of the Mikage family. You must die."

Aki was stunned at how greedy his grandfather had become. 'And to think... he used to buy me and Aya lots of Cabbage Patch® dolls to play with...' Aki thought as he looked at him with a confused expression.

Aki's eyes darted around the room, desperately looking for any hint of regret for not helping him. First he glanced at his father who had crawled under the table with a pocket flashlight, holding on to an object he seemed to be very interested in. Seeing that he was busy, he glanced over to his mother who was chatting away with his aunt about the latest styles and fashions. Whenever his mom started talking, she never stopped, so it was pointless to try to get her attention.

Aki looked down at the unconscious girl in his arms. His sister was clutching her purse possessively with a greedy expression on her face.

"Get your hands off of Aya!" Grandpa Mikage ordered.

Aki rolled his eyes. If he really wanted to steal from her, he would have done so a long time ago.

Grandpa Mikage swung his cane through the air and yelled, "Come, fulfill your duty." Aki had to dodge sideways several times to avoid being hit. As soon as his grandfather had ceased swinging his cane, Aki turned his head to see his own father crawl out from under the table and hand over a tazer to Grandpa Mikage.

"Dad..." Aki called after his retreating father.

The man sat down in a chair with his back to Aki and held the same object he was seen with before in front of his face. Without looking up he replied, "Sorry, I can't do anything about this. First of all, I won't be able to ask my father for money anymore. And second, I have to finish reading Little Women." He flicked his flashlight back on and hunched over his book eagerly.

Grandpa Mikage turned towards a group of men in dark suits and ordered them to drag Aya away. The men grabbed a hold of her limbs and carried her off. Aki could do nothing but sit there, frozen in shock as his grandfather advanced towards him with the flickering tazer held out in front.

An evil toothless smile appeared on Grandpa Mikage's ugly, mole-covered face as he advanced forward. "Don't move, Aki. This won't hurt."

Aki sensed there was something wrong as soon as he saw the repulsive smile flash across his grandfather's face. Ignoring what he was told, he stood up with shaky legs and backed up slowly as his 4'8" grandfather threatened him against the wall. The little old man cursed as he stabbed the air around Aki's abdomen--which was barely in reach.

Aki winced as he felt the same rush he'd had when the stone foot was presented to him. His hair grew out in wild strands and once again his face became aged and striped with faded red. His eyes glowed with rage as a club appeared in his hands. Aki grasped on to the club and something seemed to take over him. He swung forcefully at the wall behind him, shaking the whole room and sending little pieces of roof crashing down.

"Everybody! Under the table!" Grandpa Mikage shouted, slowly limping away with the assistance of his cane.

From the outside, a thunderous crash was heard as the windows of the house shattered. The unforgiving rain pelted down and a lightning bolt flashed, illuminating the house as its roof crumbled away.


A little boy's voice called out, "Chidori! Chidori! Where are you?"

The screen door opened and a slightly deformed face peered into the kitchen,"What are you yelling for, little kid? You shouldn't throw tantrums because you're hungry."

The little boy interrupted, "Where's Chidori?"

The person with the slightly deformed face answered back to the little boy, "She's poisoning--I mean... making your meal taste better."

The boy ran past the deformed face of a W-san and burst into the kitchen in hopes to prevent his sister from giving them food poisoning. Seeing that his sister had headphones in her ears, he desperately tugged at his sister's brown hair to get her attention.

"Huh?" The girl turned around to see her wise, but spoiled little brother making frantic motions in the air. "Ohhh! Are you practicing to be a mime, Shouta? Hmm ok ok, I'll play charades with you after I'm finished making supper." She turned back to the pan on the stove, which held a thick, strange-smelling, greenish brown mixture.

The little boy jumped up and snatched the earphones from Chidori's ears and yelled loudly in a pre-pubescent male voice, "Chidooooori! I need you to do something for me. Just now I sensed the presence of money close by... oh, and of another tribesman--like me!"

Chidori turned around and leaned down to come face to face with her brother. "And... I'm supposed to...?"


A group of body guards in stiff black suits crowded around an old man who was crawling out from beneath a table, amidst the wreckage of what used to be a very cheap, but large house.

The old man got up slowly, and stretched to his full height. The men that surrounded him looked down at their president. The old man then coughed and wheezed as he tried to catch his breath and speak. He finally muttered to himself, "So, this is Aki's true power? Swinging a club? Who would have thought. He was terrible at baseball as a child. Even I could run to first base faster than he... with the assistance of my wheelchair. I didn't think it would come to this." He paused and lowered his voice, speaking in a threatening tone, "I'll never forgive him for surpassing me at my favorite sport..."


Outside of the remaining fragments of the Mikage mansion, Aki sat cross-legged by a shaggy shrub as the rain poured over his body and the lightning crashed above him.

'That was odd...' he thought to himself. He looked down at his outstretched palms and shook his head, half expecting something to be there. But the club he once held had vanished into thin air when he had finished knocking down the door.

Aki couldn't remember much more of the recent events that took place except that he had somehow made it into the Mikage garden, where only a few plants and bushes grew among the numerous ant hills and weeds. 'I hope no one finds me here... or else I'm going to have to face my psychotic midget-of-a-grandpa...'

Suddenly a whistling disrupted Aki's thoughts and he scurried into the bush to hide himself. Unfortunately, the man that approached the bush had already spotted the rustling of the leaves and stopped whistling his tune to let a small smirk appear on his face.

"Hey, little squirrel in the bush... are you Aki? Why did you just crawl into a bush of poison ivy?"

Aki immediately jumped out of the seemingly innocent plant and stood up to face the stranger who had called out to him. He inspected the pale face, shielded only by a pair of black sunglasses, and the slick, wet hair that had been mangled by the drizzle of the rain. It was obvious from his appearance that this man was the one hiding in the dark corner when the stone foot had been given to him as a birthday present. The man just also happened to be the same one that had saved him from falling off the bridge onto the hood of a passing car.

He stood for a moment and blinked in surprise before shaking his head and realizing he had embarassed himself by jumping into poison ivy. A faint flush rose on his cheeks as he muttered back, humiliated, "Well, you're the one wearing sunglasses and a belly shirt in the rain--"

Before Aki could finish insulting the man, gunshots and voices were heard nearby. Aki froze, dumb-struck not knowing what to do or where to go. He began contemplating whether or not to jump back into the poison ivy when a strong grasp gripped his waist and sent him flying into another bush nearby. He nearly yelped in pain as the thorns tore at his skin but found himself mute as a pair of lips enveloped his own.

"I'll go look over here by the dog house and you go search over by that statue of the giant, stone foot."

Aki raised an eyebrow at the fact that Grandpa Mikage owned dogs before realizing that he was being kissed by the man who had tried to look cool wearing sunglasses. However, as the man pulled back, Aki realized the sunglasses he was once wearing were no longer covering his greenish-gold eyes. When he spoke a painful expression came across his face, "Sorry about that."

Aki stared in puzzlement at the look that the man was giving him. "Are you okay, Mister?"

"Mister? I'm not called that. I'm Touya..." He grimaced and plucked a thorn from beneath him.

Aki stared on in disbelief as thoughts raced through his head. 'What should I do? That was my first kiss! ...and I haven't even practiced yet. I hope I didn't suck too much.' He realized that Touya had just kissed him to prevent him from yelling out and giving away their whereabouts, but even so, he couldn't help feeling a bit flustered. A sharp pain caused him to snap his hand out in front of him and bring him back to reality. He looked down at his middle finger where a spot of blood trickled forth.

The man named Touya plucked the last thorn off himself and turned his attention to the outstretched middle finger of the boy. At first, he was about to give him the finger back, but then he realized that Aki was bleeding. He quickly took the boy's hand in his own, bringing it up to his face and kissing at the spot where Aki had been scratched. Aki bit his bottom lip and blushed again at the sudden suggestive actions. He almost pulled back but stopped when he felt the pressure of a hand against the back of his head and fingers softly creeping through his hair. A shiver went down his spine and he darted a curious glance as Touya pulled both his hands away quickly and grinned mischievously at the unsuspecting boy. Aki withdrew himself out of the bushes in response and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by another voice.

"Hey, chick! What are you doing in those rose bushes? Ah, nevermind that... c'mon W-san's waiting for us!" Aki turned his head to spot a short girl in pigtails waving frantically at him. He wondered who the girl was talking to and looked inquisitively towards Touya who was still hiding in the bush.

Touya reached out a finger from the bushes and jabbed him in the ribs, "That's your cue. She was talking to you." The man snickered and gave Aki a rough shove towards the girl.

Aki ran towards the girl but glanced back to give Touya one last confused look. He turned just in time to see Touya emerge from the bushes accompanied by the snap of many twigs. The man stepped out and brushed away at his clothes before lifting his head to reveal a large rose that had broken off and pinned itself to his red hair.

Aki burst into peals of laughter as he waved a final good-bye to his companion, following the brown-haired girl to a vehicle.

Touya chuckled to himself as he watched the boy run away with the rose he had teasingly planted in his blond hair. 'Wow, he must have a good sense of humour,' he thought as Aki started laughing. 'I'd be furious if I found out I had a rose in my hair.'

The tall man then walked away as soon as he saw the blond head, complete with rose, disappear into the backseat of the station wagon that had come to pick him up.

To Be Continued...