Title

Legend goes that there was a supreme being that lived and dominated the seven seas, the Dragon king of the seas, King Neptune if you like, Hai Long Wang in Chinese, Old Nick of the deep. He wielded great powers, being able to soothe the raging waters into quiet waves or toss the tranquil oceans into angry tides. Everything that happened in the seas just depended on his mood. From what was passed on sailor to sailor, generation to generation, it seems that King Neptune had many treasures.

Riches? He had infinite amount of gold coins and rare jewels. Not to mention all the sunken ships human left him. You know, well, most sunken ships usually are those with vast amount of treasure chests… Food? Well, he had fresh food stock or canned food to choose from. Fresh as in the things swimming around his court. He just needed to reach out and grab the unfortunate fish or whatever swimming in front of him. Now that is really what I call fresh. As for the canned food part… just recall submarines bustling with humans, although it was also rumored that King Neptune preferred the previous type, much to the relief to submariners. Ghost stories? Well, what are phantom ships for? Entertainment? Unbeknownst to humans previously, there are quite a few theme parks lying around the ocean floors. Besides, there are always the television and radio. Although people also say that he enjoys creating sea-based earthquakes by detonating bombs and dynamites. Some sailors claimed to have heard him sing too. And they’ve pretty sure it’s not the mermaids singing, because this one sounded downright awful. By the way, they say that tsunamis occurs whenever he sings… I wonder what’s the link… Somehow, they all said that they heard him sing the same song. It was called ‘Lucky’ and was supposedly to have been sung by a female singer a long time ago.

"She's so lucky, she's a star
But she cry, cry, cries in her
lonely heart, thinking
If there's nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night?"

But somehow, the lyrics were changed to:

"He's so lucky, he's a king
But he cry, cry, cries in his
lonely heart, thinking
If there's nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night?"

This is how the humans decided that King Neptune is a king and not a Queen. Another thing they noticed was that he kept singing only this verse. And therefore, they made two conclusions. One was that he was a music-illiterate. It was kinda true, for his singing scared away all the birds, and humans clamped their hands over their ears to prevent themselves from getting traumatized. Two was that this verse told of his inner feelings.

So what was the formidable King Neptune short of in his life? Few said it was the lack of oxygen down there, but most agreed that it was the lack of company, especially after they heard the singing. And that’s where our story starts… a long time ago…

*****

Back then, most of the lower technological civilizations were still settlements near the banks of rivers or at the coast of oceans (except for a few big cities, but the story starts in the village, so let’s forget about the cities first), where humans could have an ample supply of both food and water. And obviously, many worked as fishermen or sailors. To cross the oceans was a difficult and dangerous matter then because of the low technology level. The lack of technology led to severe superstitions, the only place humans could seek comfort in. Thus, a shrine to King Neptune was built in every coastal settlement. And fishermen and sailors made it a point to pay their respects to the king of the seas before leaving for the waters. That was a very clever thing on the humans’ part, for this kept King Neptune fairly quiet. But one day, a fisherman called Noventa forgot the tradition, courtesy of his old age.

This led to the wrath of King Neptune, who saw Noventa leaving straight for the sea instead of his shrine from his crystal probe. Angrily, he stalked off to teach the human a little lesson he would never forget as long as he lived.

"Nimnu ryokai."

*****

The next thing Noventa was aware of was that he was clinging to his wooden boat for his dear life amidst the roaring tides. He had lost his oars some time ago, and had been washed out into the deeper regions of the oceans, far away from the fishing grounds. Belatedly, he recalled the fact that he had forgot to visit the shrine first before coming. Scared out of his wits, he screamed.

"King Neptune! Tasukete! Kudasai!" He continued to plead, and saying all those ‘I’ve got a old mother waiting at home for me’ crap. But when he got to the daughter part, now *that* got King Neptune’s attention, for he immediately rose to the surface.

"Daughters?"

Noventa, seeing the stalwart king, was shocked out of his system. He started to stutter, "Ki… King… King Neptune?!"

"You called me up, so why the surprised face?" He bellowed.

"I… I…" The old fishermen trembled in fear.

Then King Neptune leaned in a little, and asked. "Did you say daughters?"

Noventa only nodded, still pretty dumbfounded.

"How many daughters do you have?"

"Two…" Then Noventa caught on, and added, more boldly. "Oh the powerful King Neptune! Please let me return to my home safely! I’ll give you one of my daughters in return of this great favour!"

King Neptune briefly considered the agreement. He had almost nothing to lose, except... "But what if I don’t fancy any of your daughters?" He asked, more to himself than to Noventa.

The fisherman immediately thought of a plan to counter the problem. "Why not change the deal a little, King Neptune?"

"How?"

"You don’t necessarily need to choose my daughters, but rather, you can pick from my descendents. You take whichever one you fancy. As soon as I return home, I’ll tell them the deal and let them be mentally prepared."

Soon, both parties agreed to the deal and Noventa was sent home by a gigantic wave made by King Neptune. On his boat, obviously. King Neptune didn’t want him to drown… yet…

And old Noventa survived the ordeal, much to the relief of his maker. But he had left his progeny with the devil to pay.

*****

True to his words, Noventa immediately gathered his family in his living room and told them about the story. Starting from him forgetting to visit the shrine, to the conversation between King Neptune and himself. Not a detail was left out. After he finished the story, his family clapped for a story well told and suggested him to participate in the story-telling contest that was scheduled to take place a few days later in the village. He did, and won the first prize. After the contest, he told his family the story again. When he insisted that it was true, his family promptly carted him to the mental hospital.

Even so, they still feared the truth of the tale. What if it was true? Who would be chosen to be King Neptune’s bride? Their mother used to scare them with the tale, and as young kids of age not more than five, they were always frightened to no end. But their fear started to lessen as they grew older. Probably because they came to realize that they were without exception the two most ugly girls in the world. You know, if you want to know how they look like, just imagine a pig crossed with a hippo. So obviously, they were pretty safe. Anou… let’s make that *very* safe. But deep down in their hearts, they both secretly hoped that King Neptune would come along and claim her, something better than nothing at all. Who knows, he might actually be a hot husband, for all the ugly talks circulated about him. And after that, For some time, the family line gave birth only to boys, making the fear a straight zero.

However, about a hundred years after Noventa made the deal with King Neptune, a girl was born into the family. And unlike her great, great, great aunts, she was rather pretty. Her name was Relena. Her father, Trieze had long warned her of the deal made by her great, great, great, great granddad, and she made it a point to curse him every night before she slept. If she could, she would have sewn a voodoo doll for the old man. He should be thankful that he’s long died. Relena’s only consolation was that she heard Noventa had drowned soon after he arrived in the mental hospital. The wretched deal caused her to choose her friends, specifically boyfriends, wisely.

When she was ten, her mother, Lady Une passed away. Food poisoning, her father had told her. But judging from the way her mother looked before she died, that is her face changed several shades of colors topped with a horrible looking grimace, Relena doubted it very much. It looked more like intentional poisoning. Trieze’s remarriage soon didn’t help curb her suspicions. But since Lady Une wasn’t a very good mother, in fact, she was more like a total bitch, Relena said nothing about what she thought. Besides, Relena liked her new mother- anou… scratch that, make that a new father- whose name was Zechs. He was a kind soul who doted very much on her. It seems that her father had married during a sale, because it was a buy one get one free marriage. Zechs had brought with him his own son from a previous marriage with a woman named Noin, who had also died mysteriously from ‘food poisoning’.

The young boy was called Duo, or rather, Shiningami as he liked to call himself. He was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy who charmed everyone who knew him to boot with his long chestnut braid and exotic violet orbs. To call him a half-brother is correct. Duo seemed like a half-brother, half-sister. Somehow, one of his hobbies was to dress in drag. And Relena’s wardrobe became one of his favorite hangouts (Although this was kept a secret from their parents). Despite all, Relena and Duo became very close. Few secrets, if any, existed between them. Trieze and Zechs just watch them grow up from a distance, very satisfied with their bond.

Soon, the two grew up to be fine young teenagers, but still as close as ever. They both excelled in whatever they did, and were admired by everyone in school. Although most of the girls threw themselves all over Duo, he never showed much interest in them, claiming that they just weren’t his cup of tea. However, that didn’t stop Duo from flirting with them. Relena, on the other hand, did get herself a boyfriend.

Trowa was her classmate, and they did get along pretty well. However, his interest in water sports and the sea and beaches made her worry. Relena was afraid that he was King Neptune in disguise that had come to fetch her. Duo saw her apprehensiveness and decided to help her. He approached Trowa and broke the news to him bluntly, by asking him whether he was the king of the seas. This act insulted Trowa and he immediately broke up with Relena.

The Quatre episode was even shorter.

Quatre was an artist, who had stolen Relena’s heart with her portrait, which he had given her as a gift. In his pictures he captured everything: forests, water, light... the very essence of life... Relena liked this one a lot, she decided. But of all things, Quatre particularly enjoyed to draw something she was afraid of. The oceans. Worried again, she broke up with Quatre soon.

There were many others who suffered shorter court-ships (or could it even be considered as one?) on account of the ever present deal of King Neptune.

For example, the nice young man who she met at a wedding dinner. He seemed to be scoring with Relena until he revealed the name of his new company: Sea King Pte Ltd. Perhaps just the wrong chemistry.

Then there was this rich man who moved in on Relena in a party. He had pretty much swept her off her feet totally, thanks to the amount of champagne they had. Until he disclosed the name of his newly acquired ship: "Neptune". He practically skewered himself on the barbecue pit.

The quickest in-and-out case was with a man in the Food and Beverage industry. Things were working out, but then he just had to admit something. "I enjoy nothing but seafood. Good seafood would make me feel like a king." Wrong chemistry too, perhaps from eating too much fish.

At long last, she seemed to finally have met Mr. Right. This time was a Chinese boy called Wufei. She was totally head over heels in love with this one. To her relief, Wufei hated the seas. He was an architect and everything he did had nothing to do with the seas. He also scored points in other areas. For instance, he despised seafood and he couldn’t even float in water, let alone swim or water sports. However, she was *still* worried. What if King Neptune had decided to use another tactic to get close to her? Besides, Wufei had an affinity with dragons, naming his own pet Shenlong, which meant godly dragon. And he always claimed that he was a descendent of the dragon. And what was King Neptune? The dragon king of the sea.

So one day, Relena decided to ask him personally. They were eating dinner together, and just as Relena was about to ask, Duo arrived and interrupted the moment. To her sheer amazement, Duo was wearing a simple black dress and his chestnut locks were down. Only a plain black hair-band adorned his tresses. He also wore Relena’s black boots. Besides his feminine dressing, he also wore a crystal cross on his bosom. Duo skipped merrily over to them and settled down after an invitation from Wufei, after he learnt that this onna was his girlfriend’s ‘sister’.

The dinner was an awkward moment for Relena. She didn’t know what to say, so she just ate quietly while Wufei and Duo got engaged in a light conversation. After dinner, Wufei, the ever gentleman, walked the two ‘gals’ home. As soon as they reached home, Relena grabbed Duo into some nearby bushes and interrogated him.

"Duo? What’s going on? Dad and Daddy are going to have your hide for dressing in drag in public!" Relena hissed.

He shrugged coolly, "It’s ok! I’ll be leaving soon, anyway!"

"Leaving? Where to?"

"Well…" He was about to answer when a young man stepped out and snaked an arm around Duo’s waist possessively. Duo looked at him and smiled. "Heero!"

The man only ‘hn’ in reply, but he tightened his hold on the lovely creature.

Relena’s jaws fell onto the ground, and her eyes popped out of their sockets. With a bit of effort, Duo helped her get everything back in place before she asked, pointing a bony finger at them. "You two…?"

Duo nodded happily. "Uh-huh. We’re getting married soon! And after that, I’ll be leaving with him, back to his homeland." He squealed excitedly.

"Where’s that?" Relena asked suspiciously.

Heero replied in a monotone. "The ocean."

"The ocean? Does that mean…" Relena squeaked, sweatdropping.

They both nodded in response. "Right, he’s King Neptune!" Then Heero rolled up one sleeve to show her his tattoo that said ‘King Neptune’.

Relena blinked. "But… but… I thought you wanted a girl!"

"Duo is as good as a girl for me." Heero answered.

Relena promptly fainted.

*****

Soon, Duo and Heero were wedded, with Relena as their bridesmaid. True to their words, they left immediately after their marriage for the sea. But not before Trieze and Zechs had gotten Heero to promise to let Duo go home to them once in a while without a death threat. And they lived happily ever after!

Relena Ending 1: The Happily Ever After Type a.k.a. the original ending written by SF (Recommended to those who like Relena)

As for Relena… Well, she and Wufei continued to date for a while more. But when another woman named Sally Po caught Wufei’s eyes, she got dumped almost immediately. However, Wufei still pitied her enough to introduce another boyfriend to her.

Relena and her new boyfriend, Solo, got married soon too and lived happily ever after! Yeah! You know, the standard Sorceress Fantasia ‘happily-ever-after’ type of ending!

Duo: Standard Sorceress Fantasia ‘happily-ever-after’ type of ending? I doubt it. You’re always torturing us!

SF: Hey! At least I *always* let you and Heero get together! I even gave you a twin sister in my other fanfic ‘Liberation’! And also an adopted sister in ‘Desert Rose’!

Duo: [thinks for a bit] Really?

[Vespera and Harle appears out of hammer-space]

Vespera: [bashes Duo up with a big hammer] You big bad brother! You can’t even remember your sister! [sulks, then storms off]

Harle: [shakes her head] Tsk tsk tsk… where are your eyes? [slaps Duo, then leaves]

Duo: Ves! Sis! I was just kidding!

SF: [sighs dreamily] To answer your question, Harle, it’s ‘Eyes on Me’.

Duo: [waves frantically] Hey SF! I’m calling you! Look here!

SF: [turns to Duo] Of course! ‘Calling you’, another of my fanfic! [grins, then recalls previous conversation] You’ve got a bad memory. You sure you don’t have amnesia? Like when you were in my other fanfic ‘Amics per sempre’?

Duo: Of course not!

SF: Why don’t you just ‘Be a Man’ and admit it? Maybe I should send you back to school again to refresh your memories of some things then… Yeah, back to ‘Gundam Wing School’, another of my fanfics! Then, you can drive your chemistry teacher crazy again with your chemistry formulae like you did in ‘Chemistry Reactions’! You wouldn’t have sounded so stupid if you had ‘Turn Back Time’. But that was my ‘Eden’… [sighs dreamily again]

Duo: [sweatdrops] SF, somehow I think you’re trying to use this fanfic to advertise for your other fanfics! You’ve already stated ten of your fanfics!

SF: Anou… Well, who say I can’t? The laws didn’t forbid this!

Duo: [sticks out his tongue] Fine… I wonder where are the other guys? I’m so lonely talking to you.

SF: Remember Duo! ‘You Are Not Alone’!

Duo: Enough of that! That’s the eleventh fanfic you’ve brought up!

Relena Ending 2: The Yuri Ending 1 (Recommended for those who want yuri, obviously!)

Relena dated her new boyfriend for a while, then decided that he sucked and broke up with him. Then she realized that she preferred girls to boys! That was soon after she met a total sweep-off beauty (in her eyes), Hirde. The two got married immediately and lived to a ripe old age!

Relena Ending 3: The Yuri Ending 2 (Recommended for those who want yuri, obviously!)

Relena dated her new boyfriend for a while, then decided that he sucked broke up with him. Then she realized that she preferred girls to boys! That was soon after she met a total sweep-off beauty (in her eyes), Hirde. The two got married almost immediately.

However, Relena met the woman of her dreams a year after her marriage, who by coincidence, was also wedded to another woman, Catherine. This woman was called Dorothy, and Relena worshipped the ground she stood on. Dorothy also adored Relena. This led to a plan.

The two followed in Trieze and Zechs’ footsteps and poisoned their respective wives. After Hirde and Catherine died, the two got married. However, the murders were found out soon enough and they spent the rest of their lives behind bars! Good thing about it was that they were still together, and they had free lodging and food too.

Relena Ending 4: The Evil Wufei Type (Not recommended for those who adore Wufie!)

As for Relena… Well, she and Wufei continued to date for a while more. But when another woman named Sally Po caught Wufei’s eyes, that’s when the troubles started. The Chinese man decided that Relena had some potential, so he decided to keep her for a while. On the other hand, he hooked on to Sally.

Then, Wufei married Relena, after he insured her with a million dollar insurance policy. And after he was sure that the insurance had already taken effect, he fed her to the lions with some help from Sally. The insurance company compensated a large amount of money to Wufei, who spent it with his new wife. They bought a wonderful mansion by the sea and lived there happily. That is, until an enormous tsunami washed over them, courtesy of Duo and Heero some say.

Relena Ending 5: The Relena-bashing Type (Recommended to those who hate Relena)

However, it seems that she had cursed Noventa too much that the old man decided to teach her a lesson. By the way, he’s in heaven, for reasons unknown. Relena broke up with the new boyfriend mere days after they got together, because he didn’t want a Pacifist girlfriend who protested every time he tried to kill an ant. And this getting-together-and-break-up-soon thingy went on for the rest of her life.

Eventually, Relena got sick of the spinster life she was leading and she tried to drown herself in the seas. She was rescued by Heero and Duo though. Touched by this brave act of rescue, she decided to marry Heero in return. This led to Duo’s jealousy, and he threw her back onto the surface. Relena was greatly saddened by this, and she spent the rest of her life rowing a boat on the oceans, looking for a way to enter the seas again. Duo made it a point that she would never be able to, however. ^_^ The end!

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