SPRING!
Leigh: Hey look! There are people! Wow! I bet they came to check out my shitty ass helluva an eyesore I call my webpage!
* Leigh waves *
Quatre: Don’t swear.
Leigh: Yeah, Okay *coughwheezehackNothackwheezecough *
Duo: Why do you say its shitty leigh?
Leigh: Because you jackasses insisted on being here, now shut up before I cut off your braid.
* Leigh pulls out some scissors in demonstration *
Wufei: HEY! I HEARD THAT! About the jackasses I mean…
Leigh: Duh you were supposed to, now go grease your head, not your tongue.
Heero: Mission accepted, C’mon Chang.
*Heero grabs Chang but Chang bites his finger *
Heero: ..ow!!
Wufei: DON’T CALL ME CHANG!
Duo: Why are you talking in capitals?
Trowa: Because he’s pissed.
Duo: Oh.
Leigh: Duo you’re an idiot.
Trowa: It took you this long to figure it out?
Leigh: No. I figured it out when I met him and he fell off the balcony-no-Heero threw him off but that’s not the point-
Heero: Did not!
Leigh: Did so…and weren’t you going to go grease Chang down?
Heero: He bit me.
Duo: Really? Where? Can I see?
Leigh: Duo, do us all a faver and SHUT THE HELL UP!
Quatre: Hmmm, this word isn’t found in any latin or amercan dictionaries…
* Everyone looks at Quatre and sighs *
Leigh: God help me…
Wufei: AAAHG! HEERO’S GOING TO THROW ME OFF THE BALCONY!!! HEEEELP!
* Wufei runs around while Heero chases him *
Leigh: Here we go again..
Trowa: Goddammit!
*Trowa grabs Wufei and tosses him over the railing of the balcony. *
Wufei: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhsssssshhhhhhooooooolllllleeeeeeee----- ~thud~
Quatre: Don’t fi-
Trowa: Shut up, don’t you have a book to read?
Heero: Im going to go get the Grease ball, Be right back…
*Heero walks out *
* Milliardo walks in *
Leigh: Oh, great, the dreaded ex…well…at least he’s not wearing that goddamm mask….er…Hi Milli!
Milliardo: Don’t you ever call me that or I’ll-
*Leigh holds up her scissors and Milliardo shuts up. *
Wufei: Help…
*Heero can be seen over the railing of the balcony picking Chang up and carrying him back upstairs.*
Trowa: Lord help Leigh…
Milliardo: DON’T TOUCH MY HAIR THAT ROGAINE COST A LOT OF MONEY!
Leigh: Yeah, we know, Prince Diamond!!
Milliardo: You said you wouldn’t say anything about that!
Leigh: I lied. I also lied about that whole ‘I-caught-you-masturbating-in-the-mobile-suit’ thing….
Quatre: You use rogaine? That can affect your testicles and ability to sexually reproduce-
Leigh: LETS TRY AND KEEP THIS AT A PG RATING PLEASE!
Milliardo: Too late, I think it's too late for an R rated movie.
Duo: WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU READ, QUATRE?!
Trowa: You don’t want to know…
Duo: You’re right, I don’t.
Leigh: Heeeeeerrroooo where is your sister?
*Heero comes stomping up the stairs with Chang over his shoulder, he throws Chang on the couch. *
Heero: Probably out with Re-lena….
*Leigh shivers *
Leigh: Sorry I asked.
Milliardo: Uh…
* Milliardo goes over to check on Chang. *
* Cat walks in with Relena *
Milliardo: Speak of the devil… I mean, Hi Cat!
Catalina: AAAAAHH! Stay away! Leigh told me you masturbate in your mobile suit-GO WASH YOUR HANDS!
Relena: Hi Milli!
Milliardo: LEIGH I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU!
* Leigh holds up her scissors and Milliardo shuts up again.*
Wufei: ….Owie….owieowieowieowieowieeeeeeeeee…ow…..
Leigh: Shut up.
* Noin walks in *
Noin: Uh….
* Noin thinks better of it and walks out *
Leigh: Great! YOU JUST SCARED MY MOTHER OFF! GO GET HER, MILLI!
Milliardo: No way.
*Leigh holds up her scissors and Milliardo puts on his Zechs Merquise mask. *
Zechs: Happy?
Leigh: No. Go.Get.Her. NOW !!!!!!!!!
* Zechs walks out. *
Trowa: Stupid sister….
Leigh: Stupid uncle….
Trowa: Screw you.
Leigh: No thanks.
Duo: HEY! You guys are saying two word sentences! Woah!
Trowa+Leigh: Shut up!
Duo: No problem—hey! Two words!
Leigh: Yeah, Ill show you two words! Fuck y-
Quatre: You know you shouldn’t fight.
* Leigh looks at him then sighs. *
Leigh: Yeah, Ok Quatre.
Heero: So Relena, How’ve you been?
Relena: Good. And you?
Heero: Fine-
* Noin and Zechs walk back in. *
Noin: Am I in the right place?
Leigh: Hi Mommy!
Noin: Hello sweetheart.
Duo: Woah, Leigh, your mom’s a babe!
Leigh: Keep your paws off ‘er!
Noin: Uhm….
Zechs: Can I take this mask off now?
Leigh: OK.
Trowa: SOMEBODY GO GET THE CAN OPENER!
Zechs: Ha ha. Very funny.
*Zechs tries to pull his mask off. *
Zechs: SOMEBODY GO GET THE CAN OPENER!
* Wufei passes out *
Cat: YAY! HELMET HEAD IS DEAD! YAY!
Heero: Oh, shit. We killed him.
Leigh: Whaddaya mean, we?
* Wufei wakes up *
Cat: DAMN!
Leigh: DAMN!
Wufei: Huh?
Zechs: Oh, boy.
Leigh: Now that all of us are here….Well, which one of us do you want to talk to first?
Quatre: I think they left when they saw you…
All: QUATRE!
SUMMER!
* Leighlei enters her summer cabin *
Leigh: Hey everyone.
Milliardo: Everyone? It’s just us…
Leigh: Oh, yay.
Milliardo: Exactly
Leigh: Try anything I’ll cut your hair so short you won’t even know you have any.
Milliardo: Damn
Leigh: That’s right.
* Wufei walks in*
Leigh: Oh, great, the two pilots I hate the most…
Wufei: Eat me.
Leigh: No, I don’t like greasy food.
Wufei: Sure seem fat enough.
Milliardo: Im gonna stay out of this.
Leigh: OY!
* Duo walks in, grabs Leigh by the waist, kisses her deeply, and leaves *
Leigh: Uh…
Wufei: Uh…
Milliardo: Uh…
Leigh: Holy shit, what was that?
Wufei: Looked like a kiss to me-Oh, Leigh, I’m sorry, you’ve never had any of those before!
Leigh: Yeah? Your own mother wouldn’t kiss you!
Milliardo: That’s true…
Wufei: Shaddup!
Leigh: Uh..Im going to go get Mr. Maxwell…be right back…
* Leighlei runs out the door *
Milliardo: Oh, boy…
Wufei: Oh, boy…got any beer?
Milliardo: Do I look like a bartender to you?
Wufei: Is this a trick question?
Milliardo: Nevermind…
* Heero walks in *
Heero: Where is everyone?
Wufei: Went to buy booz-ow!
* Milliardo hits him *
Heero: Ah….riiiiggtt…I’ll just…um..take your word for it.
Millairdo: Yeah.
* Leigh walks back in, dragging Duo by the braid*
Duo: Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow-
Leigh: You’ll be saying a lot more than that when I get through with you, pal!
Duo: Mommy…
Wufei: Here she goes…I NEED BEER!
MiiliardoL: I could use a scotch, myself…
Heero: I’ll go to the 7-11 and get some, be back soon.
* Heero leaves *
Duo: Please don’t let her hurt me!
Wufei: Who said she was gonna hurt you?
Duo: Huh?
* Leigh throws Duo down on the couch, straddles him, and kisses him intimately. *
Wufei: That’s what I was afraid of..oh, god that’s nasty!
Milliardo: Hey, it’s a lot better close up.
Wufei: What?
Milliardo: You wouldn’t be saying that if it was you underneath that crazy bitch.
Wufei: True.
*Leigh finishes and smiles down at Duo *
Duo: Woah…
Leigh: I wanted to give you the full ‘Zen’ experience.
Duo: Can we do it again?
Leigh: Sure why not?
*Wufei and Milliardo raise their hands.*
Wufei: Here’s why!
Leigh: Did you hear something?
Duo: No.
*Leigh kisses Duo even deeper *
Milliardo: Whoo...where’s Heero with the drinks when you need him?
*Heero walks back in*
Heero: Beer for everyone!
* Wufei takes a bottle and chugs it. *
Milliardo: That’s not the way to drink beer!
*Milliardo takes two and drinks them all in two seconds *
Heero: Whoo, boy, what are they doing?
Wufei: Something nasty.
Milliardo: A special show just for us!
* Trowa runs in, sees the two on the couch and runs out *
Wufei: Trowa! Wait for MEEEE!
* Wufei follows Trowa *
Milliardo: Freaks, can’t even take some kissing….ugh…that is nasty…
* Milliardo tries to run out the door, but runs into the wall right next to it, missing the exit. *
Heero: Oh, yeah. Smooth move.
Milliardo: Ow.
* Leigh gets off of Duo *
Leigh: What’s going on here?!
Duo: Uh…
Milliardo: Ow…
* Milliardo gets up and runs out *
Heero: What were you just doing?
Leigh: Showing him what a real kiss is.
Heero: I remember when you did that to me.
*Leigh shivers *
Leigh: I’d rather not.
* Duo gets up *
Duo: Does this mean we’re a…. you know, item?
Leigh: That? Not hardly.
Duo: Damn.
Leigh: If I have no shirt on when I do that to you… that means we’re a couple.
Heero: Trust me, it sounds a lot better than it really is.
*Leigh elbows Heero *
Leigh: Bastard.
Heero: OWIE!
Duo: Heheheh…
* Trowa and Wufei walk in, dragging Milliardo between them *
Wufei: He must not drink that much.
Trowa: He’s heavy
Wufei: He’s got a bellybutton!
Trowa: What does that have to do with anything?
Wufei: I dunno….
Milliardo: Unh…
Leigh: Uh oh, please tell me I don’t have to revive him…please…
Wufei: You tried hard enough on Duo, he wasn’t even unconcious!
Leigh: Oh all right! Put him on the couch!
Trowa: Oh please tell me she’s not gonna…
* They put Milliardo on the couch *
Leigh: Here we go, oh boy…I thought I did this enough when he dated me…at least he wore that ugly mask then…man…
* Leigh sits next to him gingerly and kisses him deeply *
Trowa: Oh, man!!
Wufei: Did I put a test tube in my pocket this morning?
Trowa: Oh MAN!
Duo: Now that’s just sick Wufei, getting a boner from…ow, my pants are really tight..all..of…a…sudden
Heero: Oh God, I’m leaving….
* Heero runs into the bathroom and a heaving noise can be heard.*
Wufei: Why hasn’t he woken up yet?
*Milliardo’s eyes pop open and he starts to kiss back.*
Wufei: Eeeew!
*Leigh jumps away from Milliardo*
Leigh: YUCK! Was that your tongue?
Duo: Mental image..not good….
*Milliardo wipes his mouth and smiles crookedly. *
Leigh: I cannot believe I just did that…ugh..he tasted like beer!
*Leigh spits on the floor but misses and spits on Milliardo’s face*
Leigh: Whups! I swear, you did taste like beer, though…
Wufei: Probably because he’s been drinking you freak!
Leigh: Ok, you’re a chinese man who’s been single his whole life and uses a tub of hair gel on his head each morning, not to mention he has a ponytail and doesn’t use anything except hairgel to hold in in place. Now, who’s the freak?
Heero: Milliardo.
Leigh: I completely agree. Yuck.
Wufei: Works for me.
Trowa: It’s the twilight zone, you all agreed on something for once….
WINTER!
*Heero walks in and sighs.*
Leigh: Whassup?
Heero: Tired...
Leigh: Peepz’ll be here soon, we’ll have fun.
*Milliardo Peacecraft walks in.*
Leigh: Or not.
Milliardo: Hi.
Leigh: Bye.
*Leigh walks out*
Heero: She left us...alone...in her house...woah!
*Trowa and Duo walk in, arguing, Trowa hits Duo upside the head*
Trowa: You numbskull!
Duo: My skull isn’t numb! That hurt!
Milliardo: I can see why she left.
Heero: Yeah.
*Leigh walks back in in her cute snowbunny outfit.*
Duo: BABE!
Trowa: Neice.
Heero: Idiots...
Milliardo: We are at a winter cabin...
*Chang Wufei walks in.*
Leigh: His grease is all he’ll need to slide on the ice.
Wufei: I.Heard.That
Leigh: You have ears?!
Wufei: Yeah...
Leigh: And they can hear from under all that hair gel?!
Wufei: Why you little!
Leigh: AGH! Help!
*Chang chases Leigh around with a crazed look on his face.*
Milliardo: And here we go one more time, everybody’s gonna die..here we go now..
Heero: Yup. Especially Leigh.
*Quatre walks in, reading his book as usual, but Leigh crashes into him and ends up straddling him on the floor.*
Milliardo: Ooh, now she’s realy going to die!
Duo: Holy crap! How come Quatre gets all the cute girls?
*Leigh bends over and kisses Quatre on the nose. He blushes and coughs madly as she stands and helps him up.*
Leigh: Cuz he’s cute, an’ sweet, and adorable, an’ smart an’ sensitive-
Duo: Sorry I asked...
Quatre: Uh...
Leigh: You’re so cute!
Heero: I’m gonna be sick...
Milliardo: Me too.
Trowa: You know what makes this gross? The fact that she’s my neice...ugh...
*Leigh kisses Quatre on the lips.*
Duo: Oh, boy...
Wufei: Oh brother...
*Quatre faints. Leigh giggles and drags him over to the couch and covers him with a blanket*
Leigh: Sweet dreams, sweetie.
Heero: Aw, man that’s gross!!
Milliardo: Oh yeah, and I used to date her..urph
Leigh: That should make you immune, bozo.
Wufei: YOU ARE A SLUT!
Leigh: Yeah, what’s your point, Chang?