SPRING!

Leigh: Hey look! There are people! Wow! I bet they came to check out my shitty ass helluva an eyesore I call my webpage!

* Leigh waves *

Quatre: Don’t swear.

Leigh: Yeah, Okay *coughwheezehackNothackwheezecough *

Duo: Why do you say its shitty leigh?

Leigh: Because you jackasses insisted on being here, now shut up before I cut off your braid.

* Leigh pulls out some scissors in demonstration *

Wufei: HEY! I HEARD THAT! About the jackasses I mean…

Leigh: Duh you were supposed to, now go grease your head, not your tongue.

Heero: Mission accepted, C’mon Chang.

*Heero grabs Chang but Chang bites his finger *

Heero: ..ow!!

Wufei: DON’T CALL ME CHANG!

Duo: Why are you talking in capitals?

Trowa: Because he’s pissed.

Duo: Oh.

Leigh: Duo you’re an idiot.

Trowa: It took you this long to figure it out?

Leigh: No. I figured it out when I met him and he fell off the balcony-no-Heero threw him off but that’s not the point-

Heero: Did not!

Leigh: Did so…and weren’t you going to go grease Chang down?

Heero: He bit me.

Duo: Really? Where? Can I see?

Leigh: Duo, do us all a faver and SHUT THE HELL UP!

Quatre: Hmmm, this word isn’t found in any latin or amercan dictionaries…

* Everyone looks at Quatre and sighs *

Leigh: God help me…

Wufei: AAAHG! HEERO’S GOING TO THROW ME OFF THE BALCONY!!! HEEEELP!

* Wufei runs around while Heero chases him *

Leigh: Here we go again..

Trowa: Goddammit!

*Trowa grabs Wufei and tosses him over the railing of the balcony. *

Wufei: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhsssssshhhhhhooooooolllllleeeeeeee----- ~thud~

Quatre: Don’t fi-

Trowa: Shut up, don’t you have a book to read?

Heero: Im going to go get the Grease ball, Be right back…

*Heero walks out *

* Milliardo walks in *

Leigh: Oh, great, the dreaded ex…well…at least he’s not wearing that goddamm mask….er…Hi Milli!

Milliardo: Don’t you ever call me that or I’ll-

*Leigh holds up her scissors and Milliardo shuts up. *

Wufei: Help…

*Heero can be seen over the railing of the balcony picking Chang up and carrying him back upstairs.*

Trowa: Lord help Leigh…

Milliardo: DON’T TOUCH MY HAIR THAT ROGAINE COST A LOT OF MONEY!

Leigh: Yeah, we know, Prince Diamond!!

Milliardo: You said you wouldn’t say anything about that!

Leigh: I lied. I also lied about that whole ‘I-caught-you-masturbating-in-the-mobile-suit’ thing….

Quatre: You use rogaine? That can affect your testicles and ability to sexually reproduce-

Leigh: LETS TRY AND KEEP THIS AT A PG RATING PLEASE!

Milliardo: Too late, I think it's too late for an R rated movie.

Duo: WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU READ, QUATRE?!

Trowa: You don’t want to know…

Duo: You’re right, I don’t.

Leigh: Heeeeeerrroooo where is your sister?

*Heero comes stomping up the stairs with Chang over his shoulder, he throws Chang on the couch. *

Heero: Probably out with Re-lena….

*Leigh shivers *

Leigh: Sorry I asked.

Milliardo: Uh…

* Milliardo goes over to check on Chang. *

* Cat walks in with Relena *

Milliardo: Speak of the devil… I mean, Hi Cat!

Catalina: AAAAAHH! Stay away! Leigh told me you masturbate in your mobile suit-GO WASH YOUR HANDS!

Relena: Hi Milli!

Milliardo: LEIGH I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU!

* Leigh holds up her scissors and Milliardo shuts up again.*

Wufei: ….Owie….owieowieowieowieowieeeeeeeeee…ow…..

Leigh: Shut up.

* Noin walks in *

Noin: Uh….

* Noin thinks better of it and walks out *

Leigh: Great! YOU JUST SCARED MY MOTHER OFF! GO GET HER, MILLI!

Milliardo: No way.

*Leigh holds up her scissors and Milliardo puts on his Zechs Merquise mask. *

Zechs: Happy?

Leigh: No. Go.Get.Her. NOW !!!!!!!!!

* Zechs walks out. *

Trowa: Stupid sister….

Leigh: Stupid uncle….

Trowa: Screw you.

Leigh: No thanks.

Duo: HEY! You guys are saying two word sentences! Woah!

Trowa+Leigh: Shut up!

Duo: No problem—hey! Two words!

Leigh: Yeah, Ill show you two words! Fuck y-

Quatre: You know you shouldn’t fight.

* Leigh looks at him then sighs. *

Leigh: Yeah, Ok Quatre.

Heero: So Relena, How’ve you been?

Relena: Good. And you?

Heero: Fine-

* Noin and Zechs walk back in. *

Noin: Am I in the right place?

Leigh: Hi Mommy!

Noin: Hello sweetheart.

Duo: Woah, Leigh, your mom’s a babe!

Leigh: Keep your paws off ‘er!

Noin: Uhm….

Zechs: Can I take this mask off now?

Leigh: OK.

Trowa: SOMEBODY GO GET THE CAN OPENER!

Zechs: Ha ha. Very funny.

*Zechs tries to pull his mask off. *

Zechs: SOMEBODY GO GET THE CAN OPENER!

* Wufei passes out *

Cat: YAY! HELMET HEAD IS DEAD! YAY!

Heero: Oh, shit. We killed him.

Leigh: Whaddaya mean, we?

* Wufei wakes up *

Cat: DAMN!

Leigh: DAMN!

Wufei: Huh?

Zechs: Oh, boy.

Leigh: Now that all of us are here….Well, which one of us do you want to talk to first?

Quatre: I think they left when they saw you…

All: QUATRE!

SUMMER!

* Leighlei enters her summer cabin *

Leigh: Hey everyone.

Milliardo: Everyone? It’s just us…

Leigh: Oh, yay.

Milliardo: Exactly

Leigh: Try anything I’ll cut your hair so short you won’t even know you have any.

Milliardo: Damn

Leigh: That’s right.

* Wufei walks in*

Leigh: Oh, great, the two pilots I hate the most…

Wufei: Eat me.

Leigh: No, I don’t like greasy food.

Wufei: Sure seem fat enough.

Milliardo: Im gonna stay out of this.

Leigh: OY!

* Duo walks in, grabs Leigh by the waist, kisses her deeply, and leaves *

Leigh: Uh…

Wufei: Uh…

Milliardo: Uh…

Leigh: Holy shit, what was that?
Wufei: Looked like a kiss to me-Oh, Leigh, I’m sorry, you’ve never had any of those before!

Leigh: Yeah? Your own mother wouldn’t kiss you!

Milliardo: That’s true…

Wufei: Shaddup!

Leigh: Uh..Im going to go get Mr. Maxwell…be right back…

* Leighlei runs out the door *

Milliardo: Oh, boy…

Wufei: Oh, boy…got any beer?

Milliardo: Do I look like a bartender to you?

Wufei: Is this a trick question?

Milliardo: Nevermind…

* Heero walks in *

Heero: Where is everyone?

Wufei: Went to buy booz-ow!
* Milliardo hits him *

Heero: Ah….riiiiggtt…I’ll just…um..take your word for it.

Millairdo: Yeah.

* Leigh walks back in, dragging Duo by the braid*
Duo: Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow-

Leigh: You’ll be saying a lot more than that when I get through with you, pal!

Duo: Mommy…

Wufei: Here she goes…I NEED BEER!

MiiliardoL: I could use a scotch, myself…

Heero: I’ll go to the 7-11 and get some, be back soon.

* Heero leaves *
Duo: Please don’t let her hurt me!

Wufei: Who said she was gonna hurt you?

Duo: Huh?
* Leigh throws Duo down on the couch, straddles him, and kisses him intimately. *
Wufei: That’s what I was afraid of..oh, god that’s nasty!

Milliardo: Hey, it’s a lot better close up.

Wufei: What?

Milliardo: You wouldn’t be saying that if it was you underneath that crazy bitch.

Wufei: True.

*Leigh finishes and smiles down at Duo *
Duo: Woah…

Leigh: I wanted to give you the full ‘Zen’ experience.

Duo: Can we do it again?

Leigh: Sure why not?

*Wufei and Milliardo raise their hands.*

Wufei: Here’s why!

Leigh: Did you hear something?

Duo: No.

*Leigh kisses Duo even deeper *
Milliardo: Whoo...where’s Heero with the drinks when you need him?

*Heero walks back in*

Heero: Beer for everyone!
* Wufei takes a bottle and chugs it. *
Milliardo: That’s not the way to drink beer!
*Milliardo takes two and drinks them all in two seconds *
Heero: Whoo, boy, what are they doing?
Wufei: Something nasty.

Milliardo: A special show just for us!

* Trowa runs in, sees the two on the couch and runs out *
Wufei: Trowa! Wait for MEEEE!

* Wufei follows Trowa *
Milliardo: Freaks, can’t even take some kissing….ugh…that is nasty…

* Milliardo tries to run out the door, but runs into the wall right next to it, missing the exit. *

Heero: Oh, yeah. Smooth move.

Milliardo: Ow.

* Leigh gets off of Duo *
Leigh: What’s going on here?!
Duo: Uh…

Milliardo: Ow…

* Milliardo gets up and runs out *
Heero: What were you just doing?
Leigh: Showing him what a real kiss is.

Heero: I remember when you did that to me.

*Leigh shivers *
Leigh: I’d rather not.

* Duo gets up *
Duo: Does this mean we’re a…. you know, item?
Leigh: That? Not hardly.

Duo: Damn.

Leigh: If I have no shirt on when I do that to you… that means we’re a couple.

Heero: Trust me, it sounds a lot better than it really is.

*Leigh elbows Heero *
Leigh: Bastard.

Heero: OWIE!

Duo: Heheheh…

* Trowa and Wufei walk in, dragging Milliardo between them *

Wufei: He must not drink that much.

Trowa: He’s heavy

Wufei: He’s got a bellybutton!

Trowa: What does that have to do with anything?

Wufei: I dunno….

Milliardo: Unh…

Leigh: Uh oh, please tell me I don’t have to revive him…please…

Wufei: You tried hard enough on Duo, he wasn’t even unconcious!

Leigh: Oh all right! Put him on the couch!

Trowa: Oh please tell me she’s not gonna…

* They put Milliardo on the couch *

Leigh: Here we go, oh boy…I thought I did this enough when he dated me…at least he wore that ugly mask then…man…

* Leigh sits next to him gingerly and kisses him deeply *
Trowa: Oh, man!!

Wufei: Did I put a test tube in my pocket this morning?
Trowa: Oh MAN!

Duo: Now that’s just sick Wufei, getting a boner from…ow, my pants are really tight..all..of…a…sudden

Heero: Oh God, I’m leaving….

* Heero runs into the bathroom and a heaving noise can be heard.*
Wufei: Why hasn’t he woken up yet?
*Milliardo’s eyes pop open and he starts to kiss back.*

Wufei: Eeeew!

*Leigh jumps away from Milliardo*
Leigh: YUCK! Was that your tongue?

Duo: Mental image..not good….

*Milliardo wipes his mouth and smiles crookedly. *
Leigh: I cannot believe I just did that…ugh..he tasted like beer!

*Leigh spits on the floor but misses and spits on Milliardo’s face*

Leigh: Whups! I swear, you did taste like beer, though…

Wufei: Probably because he’s been drinking you freak!
Leigh: Ok, you’re a chinese man who’s been single his whole life and uses a tub of hair gel on his head each morning, not to mention he has a ponytail and doesn’t use anything except hairgel to hold in in place. Now, who’s the freak?

Heero: Milliardo.

Leigh: I completely agree. Yuck.

Wufei: Works for me.

Trowa: It’s the twilight zone, you all agreed on something for once….

 

WINTER!

*Heero walks in and sighs.*

Leigh: Whassup?

Heero: Tired...

Leigh: Peepz’ll be here soon, we’ll have fun.

*Milliardo Peacecraft walks in.*

Leigh: Or not.

Milliardo: Hi.

Leigh: Bye.

*Leigh walks out*

Heero: She left us...alone...in her house...woah!

*Trowa and Duo walk in, arguing, Trowa hits Duo upside the head*

Trowa: You numbskull!

Duo: My skull isn’t numb! That hurt!

Milliardo: I can see why she left.

Heero: Yeah.

*Leigh walks back in in her cute snowbunny outfit.*

Duo: BABE!

Trowa: Neice.

Heero: Idiots...

Milliardo: We are at a winter cabin...

*Chang Wufei walks in.*

Leigh: His grease is all he’ll need to slide on the ice.
Wufei: I.Heard.That

Leigh: You have ears?!

Wufei: Yeah...

Leigh: And they can hear from under all that hair gel?!

Wufei: Why you little!

Leigh: AGH! Help!

*Chang chases Leigh around with a crazed look on his face.*

Milliardo: And here we go one more time, everybody’s gonna die..here we go now..

Heero: Yup. Especially Leigh.

*Quatre walks in, reading his book as usual, but Leigh crashes into him and ends up straddling him on the floor.*

Milliardo: Ooh, now she’s realy going to die!

Duo: Holy crap! How come Quatre gets all the cute girls?

*Leigh bends over and kisses Quatre on the nose. He blushes and coughs madly as she stands and helps him up.*

Leigh: Cuz he’s cute, an’ sweet, and adorable, an’ smart an’ sensitive-

Duo: Sorry I asked...

Quatre: Uh...

Leigh: You’re so cute!

Heero: I’m gonna be sick...

Milliardo: Me too.

Trowa: You know what makes this gross? The fact that she’s my neice...ugh...

*Leigh kisses Quatre on the lips.*

Duo: Oh, boy...

Wufei: Oh brother...

*Quatre faints. Leigh giggles and drags him over to the couch and covers him with a blanket*

Leigh: Sweet dreams, sweetie.

Heero: Aw, man that’s gross!!

Milliardo: Oh yeah, and I used to date her..urph

Leigh: That should make you immune, bozo.

Wufei: YOU ARE A SLUT!
Leigh: Yeah, what’s your point, Chang?