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Prologue

Disclaimers: Don't sue and don't copy!

AN. All right. Anyone without a funny bone, leave now or suffer the consequences of my mad humor. Hey, we deities have to get our kicks somehow.

- - -


"Hum, I am sooo totally booooored!"

"Well, how did that job interview go this morning, Dear?" Serena's mother put a freshly baked cookie in front of her daughter and watched her devour it in three bites before answering the question.

"Boring," was her only answer.

"Now, Serena, honey, you have to have a better attitude about job hunting. People aren't going to hire you if they think you can't be responsible for yourself let alone someone else."

"I know Mom, but I don't know what I want to do and I don't know where to start." Serena had heard all the lectures before. Be more responsible. Take more care in the things you do. Show some commitment to something. Blaa, blaa, blaa. She was sick of it. She didn't know what to do, but everyone else thought they did. Why was this so hard?

"Well, Dear, it still isn't too late. You could enroll at college for a semester and just take some classes. See what you like." Her mother was trying, but she wasn't getting very far.

"The last thing I want to do is go through more school! It nearly killed me the last twelve years and I don't want to do it again." She sounded a lot more confident than she felt. Maybe it would be best if she could try something out. But college was expensive and she was afraid it would be just like high school. She barely made it out of there alive as it was. How could she ever get through college? With all of the horror stories that Darien and Andrew had told her, she knew that it was not the place she belonged.

Darien. He had been pushing her to go for a long time now too. Though he was a lot less vocal about it. His hints were always the subtle, "you'll find out about all of this when you get there" type of things. Either he really assumed that she was planning on going or he just made it seem that way she didn't know. *Hey! Maybe I'll just pop over and talk to him. I haven't seen him all week anyway. It's about time I got some Argument Therapy!*

She was about to grab her jacket and head out the door when she stopped herself and remembered to look at the clock. Three-thirty. He wouldn't be home until at least five. And considering it was Friday, he would probably be late. How anyone could intentionally put in overtime at work was beyond her. But that was Darien. Everything she lacked in finding a job, he had in abundance.

He had always known what fields he wanted to go into. Physics and Chemistry seemed to be his only loves. He was a total science buff and loved numbers. Sometimes she wondered if that was because they didn't talk back. Let's face it he wasn't the type that socialized if he could help it. He didn't have many friends and he didn't try to find any new ones. Serena wondered sometimes how he had ever let her in.

*Oh, but I'm so sweet and lovable and cute, he just couldn't help himself! Yeah, right! More like him being a gluten for punishment. I can't even remember all the times I ran smack into him on my way home. Or how many times I hit him with something. Test papers, shoes, books, my science project… all kinds of stuff. No wonder he hated me so much when we first met. If it hadn't been for Andrew's determination to get us to actually talk we would probably still hate each other. Of course, Andrew is still a snake for locking us in the back room like that. But, I should really send him a thank-you note.*

Maybe he was just more comfortable with his nice little physics numbers and chemistry equations than with people. How she didn't know. Those evil looking problems she'd seen him working on scared the daylights out of her!

*I guess when you're a physics major you have to be a little weird.* In a way he reminded her of Mr. Bergs her twelfth grade Algebra teacher. He would always seem so lost in his perfect little numbered world. He would say stuff like, "OK, class, today we're going to start in on something really fun. Matrixes!" And he would go on being perfectly happy while the class was in a bout of collective groaning. *Of course wasn't he the teacher that always put 'Good Luck' on the bottom of our tests?*

OK, OK, so Darien's not that bad. But she'd better watch him. If he ever starts buying snap-up plaid shirts and high-water slacks, she'd personally strap him into a plane and send him away for a nice long rest… Without that stupid Physics Book!

After two hours of lying on her bed and signing along with the radio she bounced down the stairs, grabbing her jacket and an umbrella, and headed out the door with a quick notice to her mother that she wouldn't be home for dinner. *Maybe I can bribe some advice out of him with food. It'd work with me!*

She bounced along in the light summer storm. The rain was warm and gentle. If she didn't have to be somewhere she would have just taken a walk through the park or something. Rain just seemed like the perfect weather pattern for her right now. *Maybe I could study to be a meteorologist.* She giggled out loud, "Yeah, they never have to be right. What pressure would that job have?"

A block away from his apartment building she stopped and looked up at it. She counted up the floor levels until she came to his and found the corner window. Light! "He's home, he's home!!" she hummed to herself as she jogged the rest of the way to the front doors.


The rainstorm had brought an early twilight to the city and the streetlights held a dim glow as they decided whether or not to come on yet. Staring out the glass balcony doors at the street below Darien saw a familiar figure jogging across the street towards his building. A young woman by the height and build. Serena by the blond tails that followed her.

If there was any doubt as to the identity of the woman below it was erased when a pedestrian unknowingly decided to step into the crosswalk at the same time. Smash! The two stumbled backwards and the umbrellas that hid their faces from the observer wavered a minute before they both continued on their way.

Darien waited until the figure disappeared from his sight before walking back to the kitchen still laughing. Serena was certainly getting better, but she would always be a klutz. He quickly put a pan of water on the stove for some hot chocolate. She would no doubt be cold and wet.

*What is the Meatball Head doing out on a night like this anyway?*

He didn't have to wait long to ask her. There was a quick string of taps at the door only a few minutes later. Serena's trademark knock. "Darien! You in here?" came her voice as she opened the door and invited herself in.

"Where else would I be, Meatball Head?"

"Out getting a new vocabulary somewhere," she said smartly as she dropped her umbrella, jacket and shoes by the door. "You know, it wasn't raining this hard when I left my house," she mumbled coming into the kitchen.

"So what brings you out in the middle of a rain storm anyway. I thought you still hid under your covers during storms," he teased as he threw a dishtowel at her to dry off with.

"I do not." She gave him a sour look and wiped at her bare legs. They must have been the only things not covered by the umbrella. He could see a few drops on the little blue skirt she wore, but otherwise she looked pretty unfazed. "And actually, I came to bribe you with dinner."

Darien took back the towel and gave her an odd look. "Bribe me for what?"

"Oh, just some of this busy physicist's time is all," she said with an adorable little expression on her face. She bit her lip as if she was afraid that he'd refuse and stood with her hands behind her back and one bare foot behind the other.

He laughed and stepped forward to place a hand under her chin. "How could I possibly refuse a request like that?"

She broke out in a huge smile. "Good. Where do you want to go? I'm buying!"

"Oh, well in that case, I hear that new dinner club on fifty-second is really good."

Her expression dropped immediately. "On second thought. You're the one with the prestigious title and flourishing career…"

"OK, so how about we order pizza and stay out of the rain?" he suggested instead.

"Cheapskate," she mumbled.

"What was that? I didn't quite hear you. What did you say darling?" He put a hand to his ear and leaned in closer to her. She laughed and elbowed him lightly in the rib cage.

Moving past him she inspected the boiling water on the stove. "Oh, Darien, were you trying to cook again?" she asked as if talking to a five year old that was trying to sell her a mud pie.

"It just so happens that I was going to fix some hot chocolate on this rainy night. Would you care for some?" he asked with the flourish of a box of cocoa.

"Yeah! You know me, I never turn down Chocolate!"

"Which is why you're going to turn into a huge chocolate blimp."

"I am not!!"

"You are too! Then they're going to send you to America and write Hershey on your side and float you around during that Super Bowl thing they have." He dodged as one angry blond went for his throat. Jumping to one side he evaded her thrust and ran out of the kitchen and back into the living room.

She charged after him saying "I'm going to hurt you for that one!" Darien hadn't stopped laughing yet and he tried to keep the couch between him and her. But with a fake to the left, she made it around the right side before he could get out of the way.

*She may be a klutz, but she's fast!*

He didn't get the chance to go any farther with that thought as a flying tackle caught him off guard and he ended up on the floor beside the coffee table trying to spit long blond hair out of his mouth.

Still giggling hysterically Serena rolled off of him and promptly hit her head against the table that she hadn't noticed behind her sprawled form. "Ow!" she said still laughing at herself.

He sat up beside her and helped her up too. "Are you all right?" he asked momentarily sober.

She rubbed her head a little and laughed again. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just one big accident waiting to happen."

"No, you've been happening for a long time now."

"Oh, shut up!" Grabbing a pillow off the couch she smashed him over the head with it.

"Ow, ow, all right! I take it back! Cease fire!!" He scrambled to his feet and managed to swipe the pillow away from her. Unarmed and with her weapon in the hands of the enemy, she stopped. She smiled sweetly up at him and batted her eyelashes a few times. "How do you manage to go from psychotic to sweet and innocent that fast?"

"It takes talent," she replied while he helped her up. She raised a hand and rubbed the back of her head again.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"How can you go from chocolate blimps to 'are you all right' so fast?" she threw back at him.

"I learn from the best." He took her hand away and turned her around. Gently he tried to find a bump or something himself. "But you didn't answer my question."

"I'm fine Darien. Just a little bump. I get hurt worse than that walking into you. I still think you wear armor under that jacket of yours."

Not finding anything he allowed himself a smile. "Gee, I didn't think you noticed."

"I notice. Every time I wake up in the morning with a sore shoulder or a lump on my forehead."

"You do not."

"Well, it feels like I should." She pouted up at him.

"I'm sorry. I promise I'll stop going to the gym just for you." He gave her a sappy look and sat her down on the couch. "Now what kind of pizza do we order?"


Forty-five minutes later the two of them were back to the couch with a mug of hot chocolate each. "Now this seems much more civilized," he commented. Serena seemed to agree. Although he certainly hadn't minded the tackling matched she had launched them into before. The pizza had been devoured and it was down to the after dinner conversation. "So, was there another reason for this social call?"

"Hum?" She blinked at him a second before her brain recognized what he had asked. "Oh! Well, actually there is something I kind of need some advice on."

"Uh-oh. This doesn't sound good."

"Oh it's not really that big a deal. Well, I guess it is, but I mean I'm just… Oh, I don't know!" She seemed so frustrated. He placed his cocoa on the coffee table before he slipped an arm around her shoulder. Almost unconsciously she leaned her head back against his chest.

"What is it Serena?" he asked softly. She didn't say anything for a while then slowly she started in. She began telling him about her group of friends that were all heading into college next year. All except for Rei and Chad who were staying on full time at her grandfather's Shinto temple. Ami and Greg were both going into premed, Ami for pediatrics and Greg to be a surgeon of one sort or another. Lita was going to a gourmet cooking school a few miles away, and Ken was attending the university for one thing or another, she couldn't remember. Even Mina was enrolled at a modeling school.

"So you're worried that they're leaving you?" he asked still unsure what the problem was.

"No. I'm worried that everyone knows what they are going to do with their lives but me."

Darien was stunned for a minute. He had of course known that she didn't really want to go on to college. She made that apparent enough every time a school related subject came up. But he'd never known her to seem so lost before. She was the type that floated through life so easily. Not really worrying about all those trivial things that in the end don't matter anyway.

But maybe that was the problem. Up until now she had someone there to make her decisions for her. She did what she had to, and the things she was told. But now her life was in her own hands and she didn't know what to do with it. She had never really stopped to wonder about what was ahead. She was one of those people that lived here and now. But it had caught up with her this once.

"Serena…" He didn't know what to say. Didn't know how to help her.

"I'm sorry Darien. This is my problem not yours." She moved away from him and sat up to retrieve her cocoa from the table. "I don't know what I want to do. I really don't have anything I'm good at besides falling down and knocking people over, and let's face it you don't find those things listed in the 'help wanted' ads all that often. I mean most people can fall over anytime they want to, no one needs my help to get that done."

"Oh, I don't know. You have such a way with it. I bet if anyone could make a living out of running people over on the sidewalks, it'd be you. Maybe some law firm would pay you commission to bring people in with complaints about the upkeep of the city walkways."

To his great relief she chuckled and smiled at him. "If you were paying me, I'd be rich."

"Yeah, and I'd be broke."

She giggled again and punched in the arm. "Why are you always so mean to me?"

He grabbed her fist before she could get another shot at him and held it. "It's just my way of being friendly," he said innocently.

"That's why you don't have many friends. And a good thing I don't have anymore friends like you. I'd be permanently black and blue!"

"When have I ever given you bruises?"

Oh, she was up to that challenge. "How about last week when we were walking to the park and I killed my knee!"

"You tripped over some lady's dog! How was that my fault?"

"You were there!"

"So!"

"So, all of my worst accidents have happened either around you or because of you." She paused a moment as to consider that statement more carefully.

"So I'm the reason you're a klutz?"

"No, you're just always there. Or you have something to do with it. Well, OK, most of the time anyway." A slight frown crossed her face. "Isn't that extremely weird?"

"I always think you're extremely weird."

Her thoughtful expression turned to annoyance. "Oh, do you ever run out of stupid comments?"

"Yes. But now smart ones, no," he tossed back at her with a devilish smile on his face.

"Careful, I don't think there's enough room in this apartment for me and your ego."

"Yeah, you take up so much room. You really do need to lay off that choc—Gack!" Serena lunged without so much as a warning twitch. Two little hands were around his throat and they weren't letting go. In his comfy position on the couch he couldn't get enough leverage to throw her off of him.

And she knew it too.

*Man I feel sorry for the mugger that ever tries making her mad! I've got to stop suggesting she come to those karate classes with me. She doesn't need any lessons!*

"All right…(gasp)… Get off me! I give, I give!!"

"Humph! Serves you right." She sloooowwly removed her hands from his throat. "But one more crack about chocolate and I'll—Mooff!"

No sooner had she taken her hands from his neck than he attacked with the weapon that he had grabbed hold of. The pillow that she had used earlier to attack him came up and bobbed her right in the nose.

"No fair!" she said nasally holding the offended part in both hands.

He continued to laugh at her expense as he brought her hands down to make sure he hadn't accidentally hit her harder than he'd meant to. "I didn't hurt you did I?"

"Yes," she pouted.

"Oh, let Doctor Darien take a look." He gently ran his thumb and pointer finger over the bridge of her nose. Acquiring a bad British accent he completed his medical exam. "No, no. Quite alright! No brok'n bones, or torn stuff in there ol' chap. Nothing a plaustic surgeon couldn' fix!"

"Oh! That TEARS it!! I'm going home! I don't need this abuse!!" She made to get up and head to the door but she never got off the couch.

A strong arm wrapped itself around her waist and easily pulled her back down beside him. Darien was sure she hadn't wanted to give in so easily, but he wasn't about to let go. He even thought he surprised her with the move. He wrapped her up in hug, and she wasn't getting out of it by her own power. "I'm sorry," he whispered, still laughing lightly. "I didn't mean it. I'm just on a roll tonight."

"Yeah. Now if we just had a cliff for you to roll off of I'd be happy," she mumbled to his shirt. But something in her voice was calmer and more relaxed than before. She snuggled a little deeper into his embrace and he held her a little tighter.

"Now then," she said after a long pause. "What are we going to do about my messed up life?"

"Well, lets look at your options," he offered.

"I'm not a car. I don't come with power locks and air conditioning."

Darien laughed, "I don't know, that cold shoulder of yours can be awfully frigid sometimes."

"Funny," she giggled, "you're holding me awfully close for someone that thinks that."

"I think I've built up an immunity to frost bite." Looking down at the top of her head, he realized just how truthful her statement was. *Just what am I doing here? We're not teenagers anymore! I mean… Wait, what am I worried about? This is Meatball Head. We've done this for years! Why bother changing now?*

She was still laughing at him. "You know, if I could make a living out of arguing, I'd be set."

"We'd both be set."

"Yeah. Anyway! Stop changing the subject!"

"You started it."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did—Ooooh!—forget it! OK, time for a serious conversation. So, what are my options?" she asked as he let her slip out of his grasp to sit up.

He had a perfect comment ready for that one, but thought better of it. *Time to play Mr. Helpful.* "Well, as I see it you have three choices."

"That's one more than I've come up with," she stated into her now cold cocoa.

"Well, you can A) go to college and take some classes you might like and see what happens from there, or B) go out and find a job that you won't totally hate and where you can make enough money to keep you in that expensive fashion sense of yours." He emphasized his last point with an appraising eye-over of her outfit.

Looking down at her clothes she gave him an annoyed look. "For your information I found this skirt on the clearance rack last month. It was only eight ninety-nine!"

"It should have been free with the amount of material that when into it!"

In a flat voice she said, "You sound exactly like my dad."

"Well, you should listen to your father! He's just trying to protect his little girl." Darien had met Serena's father more than a few times. It was unavoidable, he was male and Ken Tsukino didn't appreciate that kind around his over-protected daughter.

"I am not a Little Girl!! I understand that he wants to protect me, but he's still convinced I should marry Melvin!!" In a deadly serious voice she continued very slowly, "And that is not going to happen."

"Oh Kay. Anyway, is Molly still going out with Melvin?"

"Yeah, but try telling that to Dad."

"No thanks. I've spent about as much quality time with your father as I could manage without getting a nicely matched set of bullet holes for a going away present." Darien wasn't kidding. He was still sure that man had lasers that would come out of his eyes if he got really mad.

"Yeah. Anyway! How do we get off topic so easily?"

"Oh, sorry!" He sat up straighter and prepared to pay more attention to her problem. "So, we'll figure out your life first, then we'll gossip."

"Dr. Chiba's psychology sessions. Figure out every detail of your life! Thirty-five minutes or less guaranteed!!" she said in a fake voice. "So I have school, or work. What was my other option?"

"What other option?" he asked confused.

"You said I had three options. What was the third one?" she looked at him as if he had just forgotten her birthday.

"Oh, well, yeah, school, work, or…"

"Or what?" she asked impatiently.

"Or you could live at home all your life and sponge off your parents."

She gave him a sarcastic laugh. "That's not an option."

"Oh! Well, worth a shot."

She turned away from him, placed her head in her hands and propped her elbows on her knees. "Oh, what am I going to do?!" she cried miserably.

Darien was close to her in second with an arm around her shoulder. "I'm sorry Serena, I'm really not helping you am I?"

She didn't say anything; she just leaned into his embrace. There had to be some way to help her. Something he could do to make this easier. *Poor Meatball Head, how do I get you to choose a path?* "That's it!"

He jumped up thinking about nothing but his idea. "Oouff!"

"Oh, sorry Serena." He extended an arm to help her to her feet since he had just managed to tumble her unceremoniously into the couch cushion he had just vacated. "But I have an idea!"

"I'm afraid to ask," she mumbled as she allowed him to pull her to her feet.

"Be afraid, be very afraid!"

She gave him a strange look and followed him to his bedroom. He failed to turn on the overhead light but instead walked over to the desk and flicked on the little lamp sitting on it. He turned to offer her the desk chair when he noticed she wasn't behind him. "Serena?" he asked looking at her figure outlined in the doorway still.

"Hum? Oh! Sorry, spaced out again," she added coming over next to him. He couldn't be sure but he thought he saw a slight blush on her checks.

"Something wrong, Meatball Head?"

"No, nothing."

"OK." He didn't believe her of course, but there was no sense arguing. This once at least.

"So what's up?" she asked taking the chair he had offered.

"First we take a sheet of paper," which he produced for her, "and a pen" that he placed in her hand, "and we write out pro's and con's of both choices."

She laughed and looked at him like he was kidding. "I thought that was just for figuring out whether or not to go out with someone!"

"Yeah, well, it works for all major decisions in life."

She continued to laugh as he took the pen from her hand again and drew a line down the middle of the page. In one column he wrote Pro and in the other he wrote Con. Above the columns he inked in 'school'.

"OK, since I'm the advocate for college I'll do the Pro side, and you counter with the Cons. Now, take the pen and write in something," he instructed the still giggling figure he was leaned over.

"OK, ummm… Con: expense." She wrote it down and handed him the pen.

"Good. Pro: experience. With career choices I mean."

"Con: I don't want to go."

"Pro: improve your study habits and job skills."

"Con: Uh… Did I mention I didn't want to go?"

"Already down."

Without thinking she leaned over the paper in front of her like she was trying to figure out a math problem. He knew, he'd watched her struggle through math four years running. *Maybe that's the reason she doesn't want to go on to school. She doesn't think she'll make it.* On that whim he asked her, "Why don't you want to go on to college?"

"Why should I?" she asked looking up at him.

"I don't know, you tell me."

She rolled her eyes and sniffed. "How can I? I mean, you were the one that couldn't believe I graduated high school let alone college. How could I possibly make it through?"

He was taken off guard by her words. "Serena, I knew you would make it through. I didn't always tell you so—" He saw the look in her eyes and continued. "All right, so I never told you that I had faith in you, but I did, Serena. There was no reason for you not to succeed. I mean you're smart, and you have all the brains you could possibly need. You just don't want to work for it. I mean you're the only person I know that could do next to nothing and still pass her classes with C's. And D's and well, there was a few make-up sessions, but we don't have to talk about them"

His attempts finally paid off and she began to laugh at his remarks. He laughed with her and knelt down beside her chair. He was about to suggest that they continue when he noticed there was something different about her laughs. He reached out to touch her chin and tilted her face so he could see her expression.

He wished he hadn't. A few tears had escaped their hiding places and more were threatening to follow after them. Before he could speak Serena did it for him.

"Tell me you really mean that."

"Mean what?" He was taken aback. He couldn't even remember what he had just said.

"That you had faith in me. That you believed I could get through school. That you believed in me…"

He was already brushing away her tears as he answered, "Of course I meant it. I'm sorry, Serena I thought you knew that I believed in you. I'm sorry. I never meant to make it seem like I didn't. I…" He didn't need to finish. She smiled down at him and suddenly flung herself at him. There they sat on the floor bathed in the pool of light from the desk lamp and the gentle patter of rain drops on the balcony doors.

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@}->-- "It's never too late to be what you might have
been." -George Eliot.