DISCLAIMER: Neither I nor Otaku own Delita, Ramza, or any of the Final Fantasy Tactics characters (oh, but what I'd do with Delita if I did....)
OTAKU: Whipped cream, blindfolds, and my Cat O' Eight tails comes to mind.
DARIYEN: Cat O' Eight Tails?
OTAKU: My cat ate the ninth tail.
DARIYEN: Oh. ^^; Er.... Anyway, here's the fic, done by CasualOtaku and myself. It's lemon (of course), and it's DelitaxRamza.

"Poems and Prayers and Promises"

by Dariyen and Casual Otaku

I look at the sky as the glorious gold and red rays of the setting sun set the sky ablaze. A small knot of pain forms in my heart as I remember all the sunsets I watched with my sister Teta. The colors blur slightly as tears spring forth in my eyes. My sister has been kidnapped, spirited away, and I wasn't here to protect her. When our parents died I swore I would protect her, but I wasn't here. How could I have failed the one remaining member of my family? Sighing, I blink away the tears and stare at the splendor nature has set before me, such loveliness when my heart feels so heavy.

"Beautiful," I whisper before I'm even aware I meant to speak. I take a quick glance at my companion before I turn my gaze back to the sunset. Something about the way he's lying against the grass makes unwelcome thoughts come into my mind. Thoughts that have no business being there considering the current situation. I stare towards the heavens and concentrate on the way the purple clouds swirl across the crimson sky before I say, "Somewhere Teta's watching the same sunset."

I can feel his gaze on me as he turns towards me and says, "...Don't worry Delita. I'm sure she's okay." I look over at him again, and our gazes lock for a moment. A sharp spike of pure lust throbs in my groin. I close my eyes and try to ignore my body's betrayal. This is Ramza! We're like brothers! I tell myself, but my libido refuses to listen. I really didn't expect it too. It's been like this for quite a while now.

Sometimes I wonder if my obsession with baths over the past two months has triggered any suspicions. It was during a bath that I first felt these desires. We've often bathed together, ever since we were children, but one day something changed. Instead of it being my friend I saw stretched out on the side of the pool, I saw an attractive teen at the very beginnings of manhood--a teen that I wanted to touch in ways that had nothing to do with cleansing that perfect skin.

I can't begin to count the number of times I've dreamed of pressing my lips to his, and feeling him respond. I know the church teaches us such things are a sin, but I also know that many partake of this particular sin. You're asked to do some…interesting things when you're a cadet of low rank. I've been spared those suggestions because of my relationship with Ramza, but that doesn't stop me from hearing about them from my fellow cadets. I doubt Ramza knows such things, however. After all, he's led a very sheltered life….

*        *              *

I look over at Delita, not really knowing what to do or say. I've never seen Delita so down before. He's got his eyes closed, and God only knows what he's thinking. I know what I'm thinking, though, and it baffles me. I fight a blush. Some of these things I'm thinking would make the people that draw the pictures in those books like my brother Dycedarg reads go crazy. There's no way I'm going to tell him, though. He'd hate me, and I don't want to lose a friend like him. I wish I could do something to comfort him, but I think he'd shrug me off now. I'm not helping matters, but I don't know what else to do. All I can do is be here for him.

He speaks then, and I look back to him. His profile looks handsome against the gold-hued sky…. Stop it! He needs your friendship, not.... I find that I don't know what else I could give him, but I know there's something. But would he want it?

"I've felt out of place for a long time," he says slowly, opening his eyes and turning his head to stare at the sun sinking below the horizon.

I look at him and ask, "Are you thinking about what Algus said?" I have to force my mind to concentrate on his words. It's concentrating on other things, like his perfect profile, his wonderful build…and remembering what that perfect build looked like underneath the clothing he wore.

I had often bathed together with Delita in the past, after all, but there was something different the last few times I can remember. Delita had turned his back to me the last time, refusing to look at me, and I thought that I'd said something out of place. But after a moment, he looked at me with a sheepish statement, and said it wasn't my fault. I'd been lying by the pool on my side, and he'd looked at me with such an odd statement in his dark eyes…. I didn't understand it then, and I still don't understand it now. It's hard to describe, and I don't think I could describe it without blushing.

*        *              *

I smile a little tragically at the mention of what Algus said. That was not the reason why I said I've felt out of place. I was thinking of my desires, of how I feel for him. I'm not supposed to think of one who's practically my brother in such a lascivious light. It never goes away, however. I find myself stealing glances whenever I think he won't notice, like now.

He's playing with the reeds at his side, a subtle pink glow on his beautiful features. It looks like a blush, but I dismiss that as a trick of the light. What could he possibly have to blush about?

I look down at his hands and watch his fingers sliding along the hollow stalks of hardened grass. An image of him using those hands to stroke me slips into my mind and I have to bite my lip to keep from groaning. The throbbing in my groin picks up in intensity, and I do my best to dispel the alluring image. It only picks up in intensity, moving on to more graphic acts. I doubt one as innocent as Ramza would even know such things were possible, but that innocence only adds to his appeal.

I let out another sigh and simply accept the fact that I'm attracted to him for now. That lifts one load from my heart. But the other just bears down even harder. My sister is being held prisoner at Fort Zeakden. She must be so scared, wondering if we're going to come to her rescue. A curl of fury obliterates the desire as Algus' words come back to me. If it were anyone except Ramza's family, my sister would be left to those jackals. Dismissed as an expendable loss, no more tragic than a trampled flower garden.

Rank, status.... the entire feudal system turns my stomach. I still can't understand how a happy accident of birth can give ones such as that bastard Algus the right to run roughshod over other people's lives. I've been lucky; Ramza treats my sister and me with love and respect. He never uses his rank against me, even when we argue. He has a good heart...and a good body to go with it.

I drop my head as that last thought goes flowing through my thoughts. It brings the desire I thought had faded right back to the forefront of my mind. Did I ever believe I would be able to stop wanting him?

"I guess there are things you can't change, no matter what," I whisper, staring at the ground.

*        *              *

I quickly reply, "Don't say that. If you put effort into it…." I stop, not knowing what else to say. Delita's really depressed, and, stupid me, I don't know what in God's name to do or say. I just feel so awkward, like a fifth wheel at that time. I look back to the reeds at my side and start to absently play with the rough blades, trying to think of what to say now.

Delita turns to me then and I look back up at him. His face is beautiful in the light, and his eyes… His eyes have such an intense statement in them that…. My God…. I want him to….

"Could I be a general if I tried hard enough?" He hesitates a moment before continuing. "I want to rescue Teta on my own…but I can't do a thing…." He looks back down at the ground, his eyes as downcast as his mood is. "I'm…'useless'…."

I want to gasp aloud. I never would have thought I'd hear words like that come out of Delita's mouth. He's always had faith in me, and I know that it's my turn to return the favor, but I can't stop thinking of doing things with him that I've only seen in Dycedarg's "adult" books. How could I think of such things? And with Delita, too. He's my brother, my friend. Not my lover…. But all I can think about are those hands of his, now resting on his knees, touching me all over, touching me in my secret places…. I stop that thought right then, feeling my face heat up with a red blush…. Oh, no! This is a dead giveaway; I just know it. He'll know what I'm thinking.... Oh, God. How can I face him now...?

*        *              *

I blink as Ramza's face flushes red. Did I say something that gave my thoughts away? Thinking frantically to find some way to distract us both from the tension that has suddenly entered the air I reach down and pluck a reed free from the stalk. It brings back happy memories of a more innocent time.

"Remember how father taught us to play that reed flute?" I say with a soft chuckle at just how much I'm grasping at straws. I blow across the top of the hollow reed, and almost smile at the low, almost somber note.

Ramza drops a hand and plucks his own reed. His note is light and clear, a perfect reflection of his personality. We banter back and forth a moment, sometimes sounding together, sometimes apart. The same simple joy that was there when were children makes my heart a little lighter. I turn to him and give him a smile, thankful for the moment of peace.

That peace is shattered though when he turns to me and gives me one of his heart-melting smiles. I don't know why it affects me the way it does, but my lust is back in force. I suddenly realize my hand is brushing his cheek. The look of confused innocence sends even more heat into that painfully swollen organ between my legs.

I lean down and kiss him before rational thought can intrude. It's even better than I imagined. Ramza's lips are petal soft and sweeter than honey. He gasps and I slide my tongue into his open mouth, licking the little ridges of his palate. The low groan that issues from his throat is my undoing. I press forward, pinning his body under my own, never leaving the glory of his lips. It takes a while to sink in he's shuddering beneath me.

It takes every single ounce of my willpower to pull away from the heaven of his mouth. I keep my eyes closed, afraid to see just what will be reflected in his gaze. The sound of his breathing is harsh in the stillness of the field, and each exhale sends another stab of desire through my veins. Open your eyes, you coward, I tell myself. I take a deep breath and do so, my heart stopping a moment when I see something I never expected....

*       *              *

It's incredible. One minute we were innocently playing reed flutes, almost like a competition, and the next, Delita's lying on top of me, kissing me so sweetly. I feel his tongue enter my mouth when I gasp in surprise, and my body goes lax. I can't help but groan at the feelings running through my veins at the feel of him. My body seems to have a mind of it's own, and I start to tremble. Delita pulls away from me, and I have to bite back another groan at the loss of his warm lips against mine. His eyes are closed now, and I can't help but wonder if I've done something wrong….

Delita opens his eyes then, and I breathe a silent sigh of relief. His statement is shocked; I suppose he expected me to realize just then what I was doing and clobber him. He should know that I'd never hurt him, not ever.

"Delita…." I say, not really trusting my voice, and hearing the tremble give my feelings away. "What…just happened…?"

"I…." Delita begins to speak, then stands up and turns his back. He starts to walk away, and I start to panic, thinking that I've lost him. Before I can call after him, though, he stops and says, "I…shouldn't have done that, Ramza…. I didn't mean to offend you. I just…couldn't help myself." He hangs his head.

Getting to my feet, I walk over to stand in front of him. "Delita," I begin, choosing my words carefully, "you didn't offend me. I just didn't expect it." I hesitate, then continue, "Do you think…we could…do that again…?" He whips his head up and looks at me, shocked. I place my hands on his shoulders and press my lips to his, hoping I'm doing this right. I've no idea what I'm doing, but I hope it's right. Please let this be right….

*        *              *

My mind goes blank when I hear him ask for another kiss. I thought I'd glimpsed desire in those soulful eyes, but I'd written it off as my hopeful imagination. He's right in front of me now, his hands on my shoulders, and my blood boils at his touch. Then he leans forward, pressing his lips to mine.

The kiss is shy, almost chaste, but because it's Ramza my entire body is flooded with desire. I fight to keep this one gentle, to let him explore at his own pace. I return the gesture, with just enough pressure for him to know I want this to continue He gets a little bolder and I feel his lips open beneath mine. It's an invitation I can't refuse.

Once again I slide my tongue into his mouth, moaning as he touches it with his own. His hands tighten on my shoulders, before sliding up to my neck. I feel his fingers tangling in my hair, pulling me closer. I respond by deepening the kiss slightly, just the barest increase in pressure. His whimper of desire breaks my control.

I drag him against my chest and crush my mouth down on his. There's a slight stiffening in his body before he goes limp in my arms. I slowly lower our bodies to the grass, and begin to rub my hands over his body. I can feel the muscles I've been watching over the past few months rippling underneath my touch. I break away from his lips, smiling at the moan of frustration as I think, Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I lick some of the sweat off his throat, thrilled by his reaction. Ramza's hips begin grinding against my own, as his breath begins to come in short shuddering gasps.

I change my position slightly, so our erections can rub together through the soft cloth of our breeches. He lets out a small gasp, then starts moving even harder. I want the clothes gone...NOW....but I know I need to take it slowly. He may not want to go quite that far just yet. I pray he does...because I'm not certain I can stop now.

*        *              *

Oh, my God…. If I'd known what it would be like with Delita…I would have done this long before now. He's making me feel things that I never dreamt I'd feel…. His lips kissing, his hands touching--it's become my entire world right now. All my senses are concentrated on him. I can't think straight anymore; the only thought in my mind is I want him, I need him…. My mind repeats it like a mantra. Delita's kisses are turning my mind into jelly; I swear they are. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. When he breaks the kiss, I can't stop the moan of frustration.

He doesn't leave, though. I feel his tongue caress my throat and my hips move against him, almost as if of their own volition. Delita shifts, then I feel a similar bulge as my hips continue to move. I gasp, then press harder against him. I don't know how to ask him for…what I need. I don't even know what it is I need. All I know is…I need him. Now.

My hands reach around to his back to pull him closer, but it doesn't feel like he's close enough. Somehow, it feels like he will never be close enough. I quickly take off my gloves, pulling at the fingers impatiently with my teeth. They're dropped in a forgotten, unceremonious heap at my side, and I arch upwards, pressing my hips into his. He shudders and leans down to consume my lips in another of his mind-numbing kisses, matching my pressure to our hips.

I feel Delita's lips move to my neck. "Please…." I whisper. Please don't leave me like this…. Oh, God…. Delita….

*        *              *


That one whispered word speaks volumes. I can hear the hunger behind that word, the desperation, because I've heard it in my own voice. I would never leave him needy.

I lean up slightly, and begin pulling at my armor, yanking away the tough, leather plating. For once I'm glad I'm still a cadet. The metal suits of the knights would be far too much of a nuisance at a time such as this. I stop suckling the skin at his throat long enough to drag off my thick cotton undershirt. His hands shake slightly as he reaches up to touch my bare chest. He pauses only a millimeter away. I can feel the heat radiating off his skin and lean forward to meet his palms.

He gives me another of those shy smiles and starts to stroke my skin. The caress is as light as butterfly wings, but more than enough to send my whole world reeling. He's touched me before, to help wash my back and the like, but those touches were nothing like this. He is touching me as a lover now, not a compatriot, and my blood hums with that knowledge.

I start yanking at his clothes, completely unmindful of the damage I'm causing the expensive material. I need to feel him against me, skin to skin. He blushes slightly at my eagerness, then starts to help me.

We're down to our breeches now, bare chests pressed together. Lips locked, and tongues entwined. My mind is swimming. I'm not entirely new to this, I've kissed others before, even touched them. None of them could compare to my Ramza. His soft sweet sighs, and his innocent blushes are better than any aphrodisiac. I want nothing more than to make him cry out in ecstasy. I want to share it with him.

*        *              *

Delita trembles at my touch. I must be doing something right. He kisses me again, and I respond almost incoherently. It seems that my body knows what to do, even if I really don't. Delita breaks the kiss to breathe, and my hands continue their journey across the hard planes of his chest. His body is so beautiful…like a dark-haired angel….

My hands lightly brush his nipples, and he trembles again. His eyes close, and he tries to bite back a groan, but I can hear the stifled sound still. His heat is burning into my mind, and it's making it hard to think. Seeing his reaction, I brush my thumbs over his nipples repeatedly. Delita groans again, making no effort to hide the sound, and his hips press into mine. My hands sweep around to pull him closer. I want him closer…. We're already pressed together like pages of a book, but still I want him closer….

I feel him tugging at the laces that fasten my breeches, and I stop a minute. Delita feels my hesitation and looks at me seriously. "If you don't want to do this, Ramza, we don't have to. I don't want to feel like I'm forcing you into anything." He places the hand that had been unfastening my breeches on my face and caresses the skin there.

"Delita…. I…." How do I tell him that I don't want to stop…that…I want to explore this newfound aspect of our friendship? I don't know how to say it. Taking his hand, I guide it back down to the partially unfastened garment and pull him down to kiss him again.

Delita kisses me for another moment, I feel his hand tug on the laces of my breeches more urgently, managing by some miracle to undo them without tearing them. His hand caresses down from my belly, and I realize that he's still wearing his gloves. He realizes it at the same moment and looks at me sheepishly. "Oops…." I snicker, and he blushes a little bit. I guess he sees that it's really pretty funny. In the next moment, though, he's discarded his gloves and touches me again. His hands feel so much better without the gloves, and I gasp at the feeling of his roughened hands against my skin.

*        *              *

Oh God...it's really happening, I'm about to touch him.… I think as I tear at the waistband of his breeches. Thankfully, the material survives the rough treatment this time. A missing clasp on his jacket is much easier to explain than a gaping hole in his crotch. I slide my fingers through the downy curls of pubic hair, marveling at how soft they are.

I chuckle slightly when I remember how I'd forgotten my gloves in my eagerness. The feel of him against my palm is worth every ounce of chagrin. I lightly tug at the short little hairs, before going lower. I make myself avoid his shaft, choosing instead to cup his testicles. They are soft and warm in my grip, heavy with need. A need I'm proud to say I put there.

Giving in to temptation, I wrap my hand around the silken skin of his erection and slowly pump the hardened flesh. He gasps, and starts to rock against my hand.

I start to pull down his pants so I can see the organ throbbing in my grip. I smile at what's revealed, it would figure he'd be longer than me, but I'm thicker. I watch as clear pearls of precum gather at the tip and I try to get the cloth completely off. The tall boots are in the way now, but I'm reluctant to let go of my prize. Frightened on some level that letting go might break the spell.

He said he was willing, but I still find it so hard to believe. Ramza is like a deity brought to life. Ethereal beauty such as his could cause the angels to grit their teeth in jealousy. One such as me isn't deserving of, but I will worship him to the best of my abilities.

I can think of only one way to free both hands without stopping my caresses, and it's something I've dreamed of doing for far too long to resist. I lean down and lap away the dew of his arousal, sighing at the salty-sweet flavor. Intoxicating... I think to myself as the taste of him makes me throb with need. So very intoxicating...I want more....so much more....

*        *              *

I feel like I could scream. The feel of his tongue against my sensitive flesh is driving me crazy with desire. I never thought anything could feel like this….

I gasp as his mouth engulfs my sex. Delita…! my mind screams, although I'm not sure if I said it out loud. I'm almost sure I did, though. I'm almost incoherent now, my hips moving of their own volition. Delita's mouth is hot against me, and every stroke feels like warm silk.

I find that I'm lying naked under him. When did he take off my pants? It doesn't really matter. All I can really concentrate on is what he's doing to me. I feel a tensing sensation, and I know something's about to happen. "Delita…. Oh, God…. I…I…." My hips arch up and I groan as my sex throbs. I collapse a moment later, breathing in short, shallow gasps.

*        *              *

He's so responsive! I think to myself as I continue my ministrations. I slide my tongue over every luscious inch, before taking him into my mouth. He gasps before letting out a long low moan of ecstasy. I wonder if he's even aware of how his moans excite me. It takes every ounce of what little concentration I can muster to start pulling away his boots. I drag the breeches down with them, before trailing my hands back up, along the smooth skin of his inner thighs.

The way his legs tremble, makes me shudder in kind. He begins to move his hips, sliding in and out of my orifice and it makes me weak with desire. Oh God.... Ramza. I...I need more.

I start to tug at my own breeches. I need to feel him pressed against me, skin to skin, to feel his heart thumping in time with my own. I've never entered another, nor has anyone entered me. Yet, I know that's what I'm craving. I want to feel his heat clenching me...caressing me....

I push the thoughts away...that is something I doubt he will allow. I'm amazed he's let me take it this far. I just try to concentrate on dragging off my breeches without choking on his length as he continues to piston into my mouth.

I finally succeed in ridding myself of the last of my clothes, and reach up to grasp his erection. Before I can however, Ramza gasps my name and arches up, filling my mouth and sliding down my throat. I barely have time to understand what's happening before his essence pours forth.

I knew this would be the natural consequence of my worship. But I didn't expect it to come in such copious amounts. I pull back to swallow what I can, as the rest splashes against my face and neck. I meet his gaze and chuckle. He's lying there looking so adorably embarrassed, yet happily sated. It makes me want to kiss him. Which I do, giving him a small taste of his passion, as our tongues meet.

I pull away long moments later to smile at him and ask, "Are you okay, Ramza? Did you enjoy that?" I'm sure I know the answer, but I want to hear him say it.

*        *              *

My God…, I can't believe that just happened to me…. I look up at Delita, embarrassed by my eagerness and blushing like mad. "Yes, I…liked it a lot…." I don't know what else to say. It's true. I did enjoy myself, but I want something…more…. I don't know how to ask him, or even what I'd be asking him for.

All right, Ramza. How would you approach a situation like this in a battle? A straightforward approach. I take a deep breath and steady my voice, trying to think of what to say. "Delita," I begin, speaking very slowly, "I…want…something more…. I don't know what I'm trying to say, or what I'm asking for…but I…."

Delita looks shocked, and his eyes look like they're about to fall out of his head. It's almost comical, but neither of us are really in the mood to laugh, given our current states. He opens his mouth to speak, closes it, and then opens it again. "Ramza…. A-Are you sure…?"

I smile and nod. How to convince him? I do the only thing I can think of. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and pull him down to kiss him. He's still shocked. How can he doubt that I want him…need him….? I drag a fingernail up his spine gently, just to see what he'd do.

*        *              *

It's long moments before my mind can absorb the fact I've just been given permission to go further. I open my mouth to confirm, closing it again when I realize my voice is even more shocked than I am and is frozen in disbelief. When I find it again I ask, "Ramza…. A-Are you sure…?"

When he smiles and nods the affirmative the stunned feeling only increases. Then he's pulling me down, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me deeply. I would love to respond, but my mind is still caught up in the idea of taking him, it's screaming over and over again... This has to be a dream...He couldn't possibly want...that...from me.

Everything clicks back into focus when I feel a nail trailing up my spine. It sends shudders throughout me, confirming that this is real. He is real, and he's managed to find one of my most sensitive areas.

I grab his shoulders and drag him up to my lips. I begin devouring his sweet mouth, gently nipping at his lips, and sucking on his tongue. When I have to come back up for air, I slide my hands up his back and along his shoulder blades and look deep into his eyes. When he arches against me with a loud gasp, I know I've found a sensitive area of my own. I'm not above using it to my advantage. I continue to stroke his erogenous zone as I trail kisses along his throat, down towards his chest.

Once there, I take one of his nipples into my mouth and suckle it slightly. I hear a small whimper, and feel his erection rising once more. He begins grinding against me again and my member throbs, insisting on it's own release. I am loath to pull away when I've just discovered some wonderful places to tease, but if I don't, I'm going to be releasing my passion all over his stomach. I want to be inside him when I do that, so I pull away and look into his eyes.

It takes a moment for him to focus. He blinks a few times and meets my gaze. I hate having to keep asking, but I don't want him to regret this later. "I need to be certain you understand, Ramza. If this goes further I'll enter you. Are you certain this is what you want? " I hold my breath, awaiting his answer, praying he'll say yes.

He must be able to tell how nervous I am. The smile he gives me is smug, and sultry. "Yes Delita, that's what I want," he says quietly. Then he blushes, that delicate pink glow flushing his cheeks with color. He's so adorable. His innocence always shines through eventually.

I smile as well and suck on my fingers a moment as I use my free hand to open up his thighs. I look down at his newly engorged manhood and place a quick kiss to its tip. Then I slip one of my slickened fingers into his entrance.

He winces slightly and I pause with the first finger still embedded inside him. I look up at his face and ask, "Are you still okay?" He nods and I begin to swirl the digit embedded within him. When he starts to move against it, I add another. He takes a shuddering breath at the intrusion, but continues to thrust against my hand.

It's a lot tighter in there than I thought it would be. If I hadn't seen some comrades do this to each other, I wouldn't think it possible for me to fit inside him. He continues to grind against me and I come across an area within him that seems to protrude slightly. Is that what I think it is? I wonder as I hesitantly press it.

Ramza arches up, crying out my name, and I know that it is. I've just found that 'magic area' I've heard so many stories about. If the way my love is moaning is any indication, my compatriots were not exaggerating. I feel a little evil doing it, but I just can't resist teasing this newfound spot, his expressions are far too gratifying.

*        *              *

I can't think straight with Delita doing this. He's touched something inside me that makes me see white spots. "Delita!" I can't help but scream. My entire body arches up, and my fingers dig into his shoulders. Delita continues his assault, and I can't seem to keep still. I need him more…. I need him now….

Just when I think I can't take anymore, he withdraws the torturing fingers. I'm torn between relief that he's stopped his torturing and disappointment that he's not touching me. I moan in frustration, wanting--needing--to feel him touch me again, anywhere. "Oh, God…. Please, Delita…." I add silently, Please don’t leave me like this….

He leans over me and kisses me again, and I press my body against him, feeling his erection grind against mine, and shudder. When he breaks the kiss, he looks at me, a serious expression on his face and says, "Ramza…. This is going to hurt, but I'll try not to hurt you too much."

I think about what he did to me earlier and ask, "Will this help?" I place my fingers in my mouth for a moment and stroke his member gently, curling my fingers around him. His shudder winds through his body, and I feel his hips moving with my hand's movements.

A moment later, he grabs my wrist. "That's enough of that," he says with a smirk. "Otherwise I'll be through before we even get started." I smile and he scoots forward and places my legs on his shoulders. I look at him questioningly, but he answers my question without a word. I feel something pressing against my entrance, and I can't help but gasp. "Relax, Ramza. I promise, it'll hurt a lot less if you do." I try to do as Delita asks, and he keeps pressing forward. I hiss in a breath of air.

Oh, my God…. It hurts, yes, but I like it, too. Delita's being as gentle as he can, and I know that. When I'm completely impaled on him, he stops, and I feel the strain of controlling himself in every muscle of his body. I take a few deep breaths, adjusting to him. My body accommodates him finally, and I push back against him, encouraging him to continue.

*        *              *

I fight the urge to moan as I breach Ramza's entrance. He's so very hot, and tight, it's the most amazing sensation I have ever experienced. His small hiss of pain causes a stab of guilt, and I slow down slightly. I wish I didn't have to hurt him, but there's no way to avoid it. I hear reeds breaking as I dig my fingers into the earth in an effort to remain gentle.

I finally seat myself fully within him and stop, giving him time to adjust. Every breath he takes is accompanied by a tightening of the muscles clenching my length. It takes every ounce of my control not to thrust. My entire body begins to shiver from the strain of fighting my instincts. I start to think I'll pass out from the effort, when he moves against me...

There's no way I can stop the long, low moan of pleasure it causes. I pull back slightly, before rocking my hips forward once more. This time he moans with me, enjoying the delicious friction as much as I am. I stop again, trying to memorize the new sensations. I must be taking too long because he's grinding against me again.

I look down at him and smile. The mixture of frustration and desire in his expression is very appealing. I can understand the allure of teasing now. It will have to wait for another day, however; my control is quickly slipping away.

I start moving again, sliding out and pressing forward again until I'm completely buried within him. Once I have a good rhythm established, I begin to drag my hands over his body. I look down at his waist as I trail my finger around his navel and suddenly realize I can cover the entire expanse of his belly with my hands. Does that mean I have really large hands...or does he just have a very small waist? I wonder. To answer the question, I capture one of his hands and glance at it a moment before pressing a quick kiss to each fingertip. I think it's both.

He begins to drag his nails along my ribs as soon as I let go and I immediately stop thinking. Ramza appears to have an uncanny knack for finding my most erogenous areas. I let myself enjoy it a moment, as I continue to piston against him. Unfortunately, it feels far too good...so once again I stop him.

I grab his wrists in my hands and shove them above his head as I start to speed up. He's meeting me thrust for thrust now. His face is beautiful in his desire, and I gaze at him, memorizing every detail. I want to remember everything, right down to the sweat on his upper lip. I lick away the salty drops, before I capture his lips in another kiss.

His thighs begin to quiver against my shoulders as I slide one of my hands between us to stroke his erection. I swallow the sounds of his honeyed moans as his hips begin to buck wildly, trying to decide between meeting my member as it glides into him, or the motion of my hands on his sex. I fight the urge to chuckle and alter my rhythm slightly so he can do both.

*        *              *

The way he's making me feel…. The way he's touching me… Delita…! I thrash under him wildly. He's thrusting faster now, and I feel like I've got no control over my body. I meet his thrusts like a wanton. I need him so much. Only Delita could ever bring this aspect of my personality out. Only Delita…. My Delita….

He breaks the kiss and changes his angle slightly, hitting the spot he touched with his finger before. I scream his name…. Oh, God…. I'm so perilously close to the edge again…. He knows what he's doing to me; he has to…. I want to climax like I did before, under Delita's caresses, but at the same time, I don't want it to be over.

I feel him twitch inside me, and I arch my hips with a moan, hearing his sharp intake of breath at the move. He changes the rhythm yet again, filling me with deep, even strokes. My hands grip his shoulders, then brush down his chest in a hurried motion. His hand stroking my erection and his now almost frenzied strokes are driving me to the brink…. Delita…. Oh, God…. Don't stop now. I'd die if you left me like this….

At that moment, I feel my body tensing deliciously, and scream wordlessly as I climax violently….

*        *              *

I'll never tire of hearing my name on Ramza's lips. I'm not sure what I'm doing to make him scream like that, but it must be good...

He arches against me, ripping his hands free to run them over my shoulders then down my chest. I hiss as his nails drag against my nipples. My control shatters like glass and I begin to thrust into him with almost brutal force. His mouth opens, but no sound comes forth.

Instead, I feel my sex gripped violently as his essence pours forth over my hand and onto my chest. I follow soon after howling his name as I find my release. "RAMZA!!!" He's still throbbing around me, milking me, and keeping me riding the crest of my ecstasy as I fill him with my seed. When it ends long moments later, I literally collapse from the exhaustion.

I barely manage to avoid crashing onto his chest as I roll to my side and pull him into my embrace. We stay like that for a while. Our hearts thudding like drumbeats, our breath harsh in the still air of the aftermath. I kiss his temple and fight urge to drift to sleep just like this. We look towards each other at the same moment and he gives me one of those shy smiles I love so much.

"Oh, Delita...that was incredible!" he tells me, then whispers, "Do you.... Will we do that again?"

I laugh slightly and stroke his cheek. "If you like...Do you think I could leave you after this?" He blushes slightly and looks away. I sigh and gently turn him back to meet my gaze. "I wouldn't do that, I'd never leave you Ramza....."


I sigh as the images of my past fade away, leaving me with the guilt of that broken promise. That was the only promise I've made to him that I've broken, and it was the one promise I should have done everything to keep. I know now, that he ran away when he thought I'd died. He gave up his rank, his honor, all because I was too caught up in my selfish anger to go back to him. Oh Ramza, can you ever forgive me?

*        *              *

Delita… What did I do to make you hate me so…? I lay in my sleeping bag, thinking over Delita's words from the battle at Fort Zeakden….

"Leave me, Ramza! After Algus, you're next!"

He died at that battle. I tried to comfort him, but I didn't know what to say or do that would help him. Algus just killed the only family Delita had left. His whole world was lying on the topmost bridge to Fort Zeakden. He didn't even so much as bat an eye when he first explosion sounded. I called to him, telling him it was unsafe. I tried to get to him, but an explosion threw me down to the ground. I won't ever forget my horrified scream as the main section of the fort exploded--the section that Delita had been standing in front of, clutching Teta's body.

I've heard reports that someone matching Delita's description has been seen with the Black Sheep Knights. Could Delita have made it? No, I convince myself, no one could have survived that. It was easier to think he was dead than to think he was alive. After all, if he'd lived, wouldn't he have come to see me? Unless he hated me now…. "Delita…." I whisper, "Why--why do you hate me? What have I done…that was so horrible…?"

A choked sob comes next, and a member of my troupe hears it. It's the female Summoner that has been flirting with me recently, I register dimly. "Ramza?" she asks softly. "Is something wrong?"

I manage to swallow the lump in my throat enough to answer. "Just…some old memories that hurt…" I shake my head and paste a smile on my face that I hope convinces her. "I'll be fine in the morning."

She doesn't look convinced. "If you want to talk about it, we can."

Again I shake my head. "No, it's…of a somewhat personal nature. I really can't discuss it."

"Well, if you change your mind, I'm always willing to lend an ear," she says, smiling charmingly. I nod and smile back a bit sadly, and she goes back to sleep.

I can't get him out of my mind. Maybe subconsciously on some level, I expect to see him again? Is that why I left my home and gave up all my rank and titles? No…. I left because I got sick of the aristocratic games that my brothers were playing. Did my brother Dycedarg really have Teta killed? If so, am I to blame? Is that why Delita hates me? With those troubled thoughts, I roll over onto my side and try to sleep.

Delita…. I'm sorry…. And…I love you….

*        *              *

~* Talk of poems and prayers and promises and things that we believe in,
How sweet it is to love someone, how right it is to care.
How long it’s been since yesterday, what about tomorrow?
And what about our dreams and all the memories we share…?*~