The next day Katja awoke feeling a little sluggish compared to the night, and got dressed with out any trouble and went to the café.
When she got there Heero, Trowa, Wufei and Quatre were already eating and the only ones in the café. Heero was the only one to see her come in and the look on his face, which said stay away, was warning enough to know that she wasn't welcome at that table. So Katja hastily got her food and headed for a separate table.
As she walked by the other boys realized her presence.
"Good morning Katja. How are you feeling?" asked Quatre, in his usual cherry tone. He was the only one to say anything.
"I'm fine. How are you?" she responded politely.
"Fine, thank you," he answered.
And that was it. No more words were exchanged between them. And without prospect of a conversation starting, Katja kept going until she found her desired table, about five tables away from them.
After about five minutes Duo staggered in. Other then his shirt being untucked, which was very unusual for him, he looked better from a distance, though a little pale against the black of his clothing.
Without any acknowledgement of her presence he walked a direct route to the table where the other boys were sitting.
Beginning to become tired of feeling like she was being rejected, Katja got up and left. Not paying any attention to the fact that Trowa had just gotten up and was heading in her direction.
She walked directly to the mobile suite hanger. Not acknowledging anyone who passed. Warm tears streamed down her face and the feeling of guilt soured her stomach.
Once at the foot of her Gundam, she slowly floated up to the cockpit, and sat down in it.
My one sanctuary, where I'll never be rejected, thought Katja as she snuggled down in to the control chair. Once comfortable she closed the door.
It was dark for a few minutes, then she bumped a button and all the lights in the cockpit came on.
"Grüß Gott Katja. Wie Gehts? " came up on the screen as well as being said by a cheery female voice.
A little startled and weary of the voice Katja typed in a response.
"Grüß Gott! Wie heißen Sie?"
"Meine Name sind was du Möchtest,"
A little confused by what she was hearing, Katja shrugged and typed in a name.
"Du heißt Alexi. Das war meine mutter's Name." After she finished typing the name, Katja sadly looked away. The memories of her parents were so vivid, and she would give anything to be with them again but knew it could never be.
"Das ist ein schönen Name," responded the computer with what sounded like human expression. Both paused for a moment. Then the silence was broken by the computer's voice again.
"Du kannst zu mich sprechen. Ich kann du hören," informed the computer.
"Sprechts du English?" Katja asked, feeling kind of silly talking to a computer.
"Yes I do," replied the computer with a slight German accent.
"Please speak only English unless I command other wise," She ordered.
"Order understood and saved," responded the computer.
Katja paused for a moment, waiting for something else to come popping out at her. Once she started to relax again, the computer started shouting out alarms.
"Enemy's in the vicinity! Enemy's in the vicinity!" called the computer.
"What??" snarled an agitated Katja as she reached for the display button and pushed it.
In a split second the computer had the data on all five Gundams and the rest of the mobile suite force that the Peace Million contained.
"Computer stop!" Katja ordered in a stern voice. "Computer, identify all mobile suites on board as allies."
"Orders understood and saved," answered the computer.
A few minutes of silence went by, then suddenly…
"Civilian approaching," said the computer. On the main screen was Duo at the foot of her Gundam.
"Katja! I know you're in there!" he shouted, "Open up. We've got to talk!"
With a reluctant sigh she pushed the button to open the gate.
"What's wrong?" were the first words that came out of his mouth when he reached the entryway.
"Nothing, I just wanted a little privacy," she replied.
"You can go to your room and lock the door for that," he said with a chuckle. Then reached out a hand and wiped a tear from her cheek.
"Why are you crying?" he asked softly.
Katja turned her face away from his touch and look at the screen to her left. There a picture of her parents beamed brightly. Duo took one look in the same direction and understood.
"Damn computer!" said Katja as she pounded a fist on the button that turned off that particular screen, when she noticed that Duo saw it.
Duo turned his head down. He knew that most of her problems revolved around the loss of her parents. She loved them very much and when they were taken from her, she was lost.
"I'm sorry, Katja. I will never show that picture unless you command it," said the computer in the same manner as a child who was yelled at for only doing what they were told, "I'll shut down now."
"What's that?" asked Duo as he took a step back, ready to protect himself from the unknown.
"It's the computer," she responded, "Good idea, Alexi,"
The screens went dark; the whir of the machine had ceased, and they were alone in the dimly lit cockpit.
At first there was a long pause as Katja tried to think of words to say. She had never told him of her disease and never explained to him why she was so violent. But with just a simple sigh, it all came out, no holds barred.
"I almost joined them, Duo," she started while staring off into the shadows with glazed eyes.
Duo didn't say anything, just sat on the steps that led out of the Gundam and listened, much as he did the first time he had found her in when the were kids.
Realizing that he was still there and was going to listen to her story, Katja continued.
"When I was about five-years-old my parents couldn't figure out why I was getting sick. They had taken me to many specialists who had no clue as to the cause of it. At that time the doctors would say to wait it out and I would always get better. At that time my body was fighting it," her eyes, that were staring into space, beamed with pride and then slowly disintegrated, "But the time I had to wait to get better kept getting longer and longer until I wasn't getting better. Before I left for the L1 colony to be trained as a pilot, I had to go through some testing. It was then that I was diagnosed," she paused for a moment, sorting out her history, bowing her head to hide her face.
"It was decided that one of the best places for me to go was outer space," she paused, her voice getting a little shaky, "because the lower gravity slows the aging of the blood," Katja sighed, trying to suppress an uproar of emotions.
"Before I boarded the shuttle, my father made me promise that I would take care of myself before anyone or anything else," She paused, wiping her eyes. Her gaze focusing on his face, shadowed by the light behind him. "It's because of that promise that I didn't go back to earth for the funeral. That's why Oz was so surprised I was still alive when I signed up. They thought they had gotten me too," she paused again smiling at he deception, then quickly lowered her eyes shamefully.
"After they died, I kept my promise for awhile, then became more and more reclusive. I never knew what the disease could do to me," she looked up again and into his eyes, that seemed to glow through the shadow, then continued.
"When I was training with you I hadn't had a transfusion for over two years. No one knew. It was my job to get the transfusion done and I just didn't do it." She paused again, lowering her eyes. She just couldn't bear looking into his eyes anymore, knowing that she had lied to him.
"Not until now did I realize that I couldn't push it because…" she paused again, her tears choking her voice, "…because I wouldn't be the only one hurt," she paused again, her emotion surfacing with every tear, but she regained composure.
"When I saw you lying there on the gurney, braving your own fears, I felt so guilty that I could have been stupid enough that it would cause you to become sick. Over time I developed a death wish and now…" her voice failed her again as she tried to give an explanation for her emotions and past actions, cleared her throat, then with her last bit of courage and intensity, she raised her eyes and looked directly into his, as if she were arguing with him.
"You're sick because I need your blood. I have a new found energy after you faced becoming very ill because of me," Katja paused, wordless; the agony of years of grief wrinkled her face as she tried to keep calm. All the while she searched Duo's calm blue eyes for some sign that he believed her. Finally giving up, she dropped her head in to her hands and began to sob.
Without a word Duo got up from his seat and reached over, placing a hand on her shoulder and stood there next to her.Katja looked up into his clear cobalt eyes and comforting yet sympathetic smile realizing that he didn't need her to tell him all that to believe her.
Katja reached her arms up around his neck and they hugged each other. They stood together in each other's embrace for a short while. Then separated enough to see each other's face. Katja still had tears streaming down her face and Duo had a few pioneering trails down his own cheeks as well.
At the sight of their faces they both started to laugh, then Duo cupped his right hand around the back of her head firmly and spoke.
"I would face a million needles and any other danger that came with them for you. I love you, and nothing that has happened in the past will ever change that," he said seriously with a sniffle at the end.
Katja smiled through her tears and laid her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, rocking slightly from side to side, as if she were a baby. They then separated and gently floated down to the floor, hand in hand.
