Silly Quotes

I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents. --George Wallace 1968 presidential campaign

Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing? --Jay Leno

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. --Dan Quayle

Wait, I just remembered something! You're boring and my legs work. --David Spade as Finch on Just Shoot Me

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population. --David Letterman

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. --Erma Bombeck

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. --Bill Vaughan

When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further steps would be taken --Unknown

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. --Robert A. Heinlein

Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that? --Lisa Claymen

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same. --Unknown

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. --Robert Frost

(and I don't either)

If it's green, it's biology, If it stinks, it's chemistry, If it has numbers it's math, If it doesn't work, it's technology --Unknown