Gundam Wing Bloopers
Episode #??? By Quatregirl************************************************
Director: Okay Duo, you're on!!!
Duo: [runs onto the scene]
Stage hand: No wait!!! You're not on!!! DUO, WAIT!!!
Director: [puts head in hands] Duo, you forgot something.
Duo: [obviously is clueless] What, a line, a cue, WHAT?!?!?!
Stage hand: You forgot your shirt!!! [holds up his shirt and blushes bright red]
Duo: [eyes widen in horror] AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!! Destroy that tape!!! [takes his shirt and runs to his dressing room]
Stage hand: [blushes and faints]
Later...
Duo: [worried] Did you destroy the tape?
Camera man: Sorry, buddy, this is live!!!
Duo: [face in camera] Hildey, you tape this and you're dead!!!!
Hildey: (at her house) Hah! Now I have enough tape to black mail Duo for the rest of his life!!!
Episode #15 By Quatregirl*************************************************
Director: Okay, cue the dynamite!!!!
Heero: [trying to push the plunger down] It's stuck!!!
Duo: [evilly] Why don't you see what's wrong, Wu Fei?
Director: That's a good idea!!! [Quatre and Duo give each other a thumbs up]
Wu Fei: [reluctantly goes to the fake Zero-One]
Stage hand: Who messed with the dynamite? [holds up a broken cord]
Quatre & Duo: [put their hands behind their backs and start to whistle]
Duo: [whispers] Quatre, detonate the dynamite, NOW.
Quatre: [detonates the dynamite]
Wu Fei: [staggers out of the fake, burning Zero-one, almost as charred as it is] JUSTICE!!! JUSTICE!!!
Quatre: (innocently) Who could have done that?
Duo: (practically has a halo above his head) I know!
Wu Fei: [extinguishes himself] Which one of you weaklings blew me up?!?!?
Quatre: (still looking innocent) Wasn't me...
Trowa: [Walks in as Duo and Quatre quickly hand him the dynamite plunger. All eyes fall on Trowa] What? What's going on???
Wu Fei: Justice!!! [savagely attacks the poor, unsuspecting Trowa] Justice, you *beep!!!* *Beep* you bit me!!!
Trowa: HALP!!! [desperately fights off a really, really pissed, er, ticked off Wu Fei]
Heero: [turns to the camera] Now would be a good time to cut!!! [Trowa and Wu Fei are seen in the background, rolling around and fighting]
Episode #??? By Quatregirl************************************************
Quatre: Heero, you've got to help me!!! Dorothy keeps following me, I can't take it anymore!!!
Heero: So she's getting as annoying as Relena? I feel you're pain. Relena's been a real *beep* lately.
Quatre: Heero, that wasn't the right line.
Heero: [Checks the script and gulps in fear. The two Gundam pilots cower in a corner, expecting the worst]
Relena: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!? [attacks Heero, hits the camera, and the screen fizzes and goes black]
Heero: [now with a black eye and his left arm in a sling]
Quatre: Heero, you've got to help me!!! Dorothy keeps following me, I can't take it anymore!!!
Heero: [carefully checks script first] Okay, I have a plan. [whispers something in Quatre's ear]
Quatre: Great, now I can escape that *beep* er, I mean Dorothy!!! [turns to the director] That was wrong wasn't it?
Director: [covers her eyes and hopes for the best] My poor Quatre... [starts to whimper]
Camera man: [Zooms in. He wants to get every second of this]
Dorothy: [right on cue, jumps on Quatre like a tiger] What did you call me, you *beep!!!*
Heero: [notices Relena and starts to sneak away]
Relena: Don't think you're getting away!!! [attacks Heero and chaos ensues on the set]
Everyone: @$*&%$$!@#@$@*%$@!%@ (basic noises of chaos and confusion)
Heero: Take that, you *beep!!!*
Relena: *BEEP* How dare you!!!
Quatre: PERVERT!!!
Dorothy: Die you *beep* *beep* *beep* *BEEEEEEP*
Stage hand: Hey!!! We've got an episode to shoot!!! [gets involuntarily dragged into the fight]
Relena: *Beep!!!!* Unhand me!!! *BEEEEEEP*
Heero: Relena, I thought you'd never sink so low!
Relena: Grrr. *BEEEEEEP!!!* *BEEEEEEP!!!* *BEEEEEEP!!!* *BEEEEEEP!!!*
Quatre: Keep Dorothy away from the knives!!!
Stage hand: HELP ME!!!
************************************************************************
Credits
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Behind the Scenes
Now it's time for a behind the scenes look at the cast and crew when we're not filming. This surprising footage was shot by Duo, Quatregirl, and Quatregirl's friend Katrina armed with camcorders.
Quatre's "Documentary"***************************************************
Quatregirl: [points camera at Quatre] And ACTION!!!
Quatre: Heh, heh, heh. Listen to Duo's horrible singing when he has headphones on!!! [places headphones on Duo unnoticed and switches the tape on]
Duo: [singing extremely off tune] Every little thing I doooo, never seems enough for you! You don't wanna lose it again, cause I'm not like them!!! Baby, when you finally get to love somebody, guess what? It's gonna be me!!!
Heero: Quatre, I can see why you gave everyone earmuffs!!! Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!!!
Quatre: What??? I can't hear you cause I have these earmuffs on!!!
Katrina and Quatregirl: *sweat drop*
Quatre: [looking at Q.G.'s camcorder] Now watch the paralyzing effect of Duo's singing on someone without earmuffs.
Wing-Zero: [walks in unprotected and freezes in the spot, his hands over his ears] That noise! Can't...take...much more...of this. Must get...away!
Katrina: Okay, Duo. Enough singing for today. [removes the headphones from Duo's head]
Duo: It's gonna be...hey!!! I was just getting warmed up!
Trowa: [removes his earmuffs] Just warming up? [sarcastically] I can't wait to hear Duo when he's all warmed up.
Quatre: And now we end this fascinating (and slightly horrific) look at Duo's singing. Remember, all people in this documentary are properly trained and have protective equipment. If you ever encounter Duo, DON'T LET HIM GET TO ANY HEADPHONES!!! Duo's singing should not effect any viewers, but if it does, turn down the volume!!!
Duo's Revenge***********************************************************
Katrina: [intently filming with her camcorder]
Duo: Gather 'round! Don't push, don't shove and listen to this!!! [turns on a tape recorder]
Person Who Shall Remain Unnamed At the Moment: [singing in a horrible voice, but not nearly as bad as Duo's] I want it that way! Tell me why? Ain't nothing but a heartache! Tell me why? Ain't nothing but a mistake! Tell me why? I never want to hear you say, I want it that way!!!
Duo: Anyone have a guess as to who this is?
Duogirl: You singing in the rain? [whips out umbrella and starts to dance]
Duo: Er, no.
Katrina: You're right. You sound much worse...
Quatre: [starts to edge out the door]
Trowa: Heero singing karaoke?
Heero: Hey! That was just that one time!!!
Duo: Nope!
Quatregirl: It can only be one person. Duogirl at a Backstreet Boys concert. How'd you get the footage Duo?
Duo: Actually, it's not Katrina. Here listen again! [before he has a chance to turn on the recorder, it's smashed by a bullet]
Quatre: [holding a smoking gun]
Heero: Hey, isn't that mine?
Quatre: [looks at the gun in his hands] Er, no. [throws the gun in the trash] One time use only!
Later...
Duo: [into camera] Okay, so my revenge didn't go quite as planned. Whooda thunk Quatre knew where Heero kept his gun! Now excuse me while I go bug the shower again...
The Blair Gundam Project******************************************************************
Duo: [pointing the camera in his face] This *pant* is the story of our horrific trip in the *pant* forests of New Mexico.
Quatregirl: [turns camera to herself] Correction, in the forests of New York state. I doubt New Mexico has any forest except for cactus ones. [cuts to their "horrific" story]
Wu Fei: Oh my gawd!!! Where's Yuy?
Trowa: [panting] I have no idea. I've looked everywhere!
Katrina: [turning horrified to the camera] Could the legend about the monster be true?
Duo: [unseen 'cause he's taping this] Possibly... [sounding very unworried] Personally, I think it's a bunch of bull.
Wing-Zero: [sounding out of his mind and looking it too] We're all gonna be picked off! First, it's Heero. Who knows? Next could be Quatre or Duogirl, or me!!!
Trowa: [into camera] Yup, he's our designated mad man.
Quatre: [running at breakneck speed] Look what I found!!! [points to a bunch of sticks arranged into the Gundam Wing logo hanging from a tree]
Duo: [still unseen] Oh my gawd...
Trowa: [looks around the dark forest] Where's Wu Fei?!?!?! [everyone goes searching for Wu Fei frantically]
Quatregirl: [once everyone but Duogirl returns] I couldn't find him! Wing-Zero was right. We're all getting picked off slowly, one by one!
Wing-Zero: [in a childish voice] I told you!!! They got Katrina too!!!
Quatre: Q.G. and I will go look for her!!!
Quatregirl: Me??? Why me???
Quatre: 'Cause Katrina is you're friend AND our names sound too alike. It would be a give in that we disappear together.
Quatregirl: Er, okay. I see the logic. (kinda)
Trowa: No one follow them!
Duo: [still unseen] Why?
Wing-Zero: Safety in numbers!
Quatre & Quatregirl: [set off, leaving the others behind]
Later...
Apparently Quatre & Quatregirl: AAAAAHHHHH!!!
Wing-Zero: They're gone! One by one, one by one. We're all getting picked off one by one I say!!! One by... [is cut off 'cause he disappears]
Trowa: Oh no! They got our designated mad man!!! [a dead looking figure in a tank top and cut anyone else's circulation off shorts is seen dragging Wing-Zero around the forest.] <Hello! This is Q.G. I got the part about the shorts from Katrina>
Wing-Zero: [being dragged around, still chanting, "one by one."]
Trowa: Oomph!!! Help!!! [is dragged off too]
Duo: [sounding genuinely scared and breathing hard] Maybe the legend is true. I'm the last one. I'll never survive the monster!!! [suddenly brightens up] Actually, everyone's fine. We just painted Heero to make him look dead and had him abduct everyone!!! Hee hee!
(Quatregirl: Apparently I didn't see the movie, heh, heh, but I thought this would make a good parody. I also watched the Scooby-Doo project on Cartoon Network. ^_^ Sorry if this fic didn't have a very good story line...)
