Things Will Never Be The Same
Wufei had been given a solo mission to take out a seemingly small OZ
base on
the Yang-Tze river. Things hadn’t QUITE gone as planned, however. The
base
had been much more heavily defended than Intelligence had predicted,
and
they seemed to have some sort of dampening field up. He had radioed
for
backup, but he hadn’t had any response. It could mean the others were
simply maintaining radio silence, that his signal could get out but
theirs
couldn’t get in, or, most probably, that his distress call had never
been
received at all. He tried to hold up hope, but deep inside he knew it
was
pointless. He was hopelessly outnumbered. Even with his Naraku,
enough
direct hits could cripple him. Even a lion may be brought down by
fire-ants
if he kicks open their anthill.
All of a sudden, uncountable numbers of Leos rushed him from all sides.
He
blasted a wide, sweeping arc, thinning their ranks somewhat, but not
enough.
Five or six slipped through his close guard, and his Gundam shuddered
with
the force of their blows. Most of the close assailants had been at his
back, and Shenlong slowly toppled onto her front, leaving Wufei hanging
in
his safety harness. He tried to get back up, but his thrusters were
damaged, and he was being literally dogpiled by the enemy Mobile Suits.
Blast after blast rocked the downed Gundam, sending small explosions
through
the cockpit as viewscreens and instrument panels shattered.
“Now…the others will not come, it must be now.” Wufei muttered. “At
least I
will take many of them with me…”
He reached for the self-destruct button from his inverted position and
felt
its smooth face under his finger as another violent explosion rocked
the
cockpit and a panel above him shattered, sending glass and metal
sheeting
through the small space, and everything went dark.
Lay it down
Pull my heart to the ground
A light began slowly to grow in Wufei’s vision.
“So, is this what it’s like to be inside the self-destruction of a
Gundam?”
he said, “Awfully quiet.”
He closed his eyes, or thought he did, but the light continued to grow.
Slowly he was able to see something in the light. He seemed to be
lying
face down in a vast field of flowers.
“Have I already self-destructed then, and reached the land of the
dead?” he
wondered aloud. He sat up and realized with a shock that he knew this
field
of flowers. Rising slowly to his feet, he looked around in amazement.
“It
was here, in this very field…I could never forget this place.”
Time’s getting cold
Now the leaves all turn hard and blue
With no particular hurry, Wufei began to walk in the direction of a
house
which had once been his. His and…
“Meiran. Nataku. I have never forgotten your sacrifice, I strive
every day
to be worthy of your brave example.” He said softly.
On a whim, he bent and gathered a handful of flowers, breathing deeply
of
their scent before absentmindedly weaving them into a garland as he
wandered
on.
And I know when I gaze to the sun
No place to hide, I got nowhere to run
From you, away from you.
He soon reached a small house. This wa one place he had wanted to
leave
forever untouched. A strong core in his heart, a reason to fight, and
a
reminder of what could happen if he did not.
He reached toward the door and was surprised to notice that his hand
was
shaking. He held it up before his eyes, bemused at his own body’s
betrayal
of him. Chang Wufei, the great avatar of Justice, should not fear
anything.
Least of all the opening of a simple door. But, he acknowledged, a
part
of him, the small remnant of the studious and cowardly youth he had
once
been, would have been much happier if he had never seen this place
again, if
the memories had faded and disappeared.
He scowled. He had thought he had long ago banished any trace of the
Coward. Forcing his hand back to its usual rock-steady manner, he
opened
the door.
Hold me now girl, I don’t know when,
When we will ever meet again
With a bright flash of light, he was lost in memory. His too-young
wedding,
his constant fights with his wife Meiran, or Nataku, as she insisted on
being called, the Mobile Suit attack, his Nataku’s valiant efforts to
fight
them, carrying her, broken and dying, through the field of flowers… In
anguish, he fell to his knees.
That was then, baby, this is now,
I try to get over you.
Struggling, and with tears streaming down his face, Wufei tried to pull
himself back to his feet and into the present.
‘I am a Gundam pilot now,’ he told himself, ‘I honour Nataku’s memory
every
time I fight, but those events are in the past. Now I have my mission,
and
I cannot allow myself to falter.’
Even with his stern self-lecture, however, he couldn’t get his legs to
work
or the unwelcome tears to stop.
Loosing you… things will never be the same.
Can you hear me call your name?
“It’s all right, Wufei.”
A soft voice and a gentle touch on his shoulder brought him back to
himself.
He stood and found himself face-to-face with the very one he had been
thinking of.
“Meiran?” he whispered, confused.
“You have come to me again, Airen.” She said formally.
With a rather bemused look, he held out the garland of flowers he had
made.
“Here, these are for you.”
If we changed it back again
Things would never be…
With a smile she took the flowers and slipped them over her head like a
crown. She gestured to a pair of chairs in the next room.
“Shall we sit?”
Wufei trailed after her, and they sat in the comfortable chairs close
to
each other.
“You have changed, Meiran.” Wufei said finally, having regained some of
his
equilibrium again, “You were never so calm, as I remember.”
Meiran laughed lightly. “Death tends to do that… When you’re dead, a
great
many things which seemed vitally important when you were alive become
quite
trivial, and many of the things which seemed beneath notice during life
gain
much more meaning. But enough of me. How do you come to be here?”
In your hand, babe, I don’t understand,
You’ve got the eyes of a child
But you hurt like a man
Always do, always do
With a strangely detached manner, Wufei told his wife of the vow he had
made
after her death, of the intense training to become a Gundam pilot, and
his
dedication to Justice. He spoke of OZ’s takeover and Operation Meteor,
of
meeting and befriending the other Gundam pilots.
Meiran praised Heero’s bravery, laughed at Duo’s antics, and sighed at
Wufei’s recounting of Trowa and Quatre and the love they shared, even
in
this time of war.
It seemed to Wufei that he could see the pain and emptiness in his own
soul
being absorbed and nullified in her clear gaze.
“Sometimes, though,” he admitted, “I wish it had all never happened.
There
are days when I would even welcome a simple argument such as we used to
engage in.”
Touch me now girl, I don’t know when,
When we will ever meet again.
That was then, baby, this is now
Time won’t get over you.
Meiran laughed and laid a hand lightly on his arm. “We certainly used
to
argue, didn’t we?” She shook her head mirthfully. “We were much too
young,
and both so stubborn. It’s one of the few things about my life that I
truly
regret; that my stubbornness and argumentative nature prevented me from
ever
really knowing you. I think, if things had been different, if we had
been
given more time, we might even have had a true bond.” She sighed and
shrugged. “Time allows us but one chance, though, before we are both
reborn
to try again, with no memory of our previous mistakes.”
Leaning forward, Wufei did something he had often longed to do, he took
his
wife into his arms to comfort her.
Loosing you… things will never be the same.
Can you hear me call your name?
If we changed it back again
Things would never be the same.
“Indeed, our chance in this lifetime is past, we cannot turn the clock
back,
or rewrite history…it has moved forward in ways we never anticipated.
I had
always thought I would have time, that we would grow to know each
other, but
that time ended much too soon, and you were taken from me. Know this,
though: we WILL see each other again, and when I see you, I will know
you,
I swear it.”
Taking his wife’s face gently in his hands, Wufei kissed her. When
their
lips touched, the world began to fade into a haze of light. Slowly the
light faded away, and there was only darkness, touched with a
lingering,
half-remembered scent of flowers.
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