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Laundry Woes
By: D. Draggy


Category: AU, shounen-ai, weirdness, slight sap
Pairing: 1+2
Rating: PG, I guess
Warnings: Shounen-ai, weirdness
Feedback: denari77@hotmail.com if you have the time ^_^
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing.
Oh, and I'm not making money off of this :P

Notes: Ever wonder how you can put two socks in the washing machine and only get back one?


**** Laundry Woes ****

On a frosty December afternoon, Duo glanced nervously at a decrepit, ratty-looking home appliance store. The building appeared to be only a beat away from imminent collapse. It gave him the creeps. He wrapped his filthy jacket around himself, and with great trepidation, he stepped inside Appliances-To-Go.

A decrepit, ratty-looking woman hobbled up to greet him. "Welcome," she cackled, "to Appliances-To-Go!"

Duo fidgeted. "Um, yeah, I'm lookin' for a new washing machine. My old one blew up when I left a little something in my pants when I threw them in."

"Ahahaha!!! Just the thing I have!" The woman wandered off to the backroom. "Right this way, sir!"

The Braided One shrugged and followed the old woman. After brushing away numerous cobwebs, he made it to the backroom.

With a flourish, she whipped off the large tablecloth covering a mysterious object. "Ta da!"

Duo scratched his head. "What is it?"

"A washing machine this is!"

"You sure?" Indeed, it looked more like the sad remains of one way past its prime.

"Yes, sure of this I am! Unique make this is, in the world, only two there are!" The old woman pointed to the identical appliance beside the so-called washing machine. "Sister machine this is. But only sell you one, I will."

Duo backed away from the strange woman. What had possessed him to come here? "That's okay, I'll go to some department store, instead."

The woman shook her head vehemently. "No machine as good as this one do department stores have!" She ripped Duo's dirty jacket from his body.

"Hey!"

"Observe!" She stuffed his jacket into the washing machine and pressed a few buttons. The machine bounced up and down for a few minutes, rumbled, and stopped. She lifted the lid and removed Duo's sopping wet jacket.

Duo was amazed. His jacket had never been cleaner! Even that awful pickle and jam sandwich stain was gone.

"But if this machine you don't want, take your business somewhere else you can," said the woman.

Duo decided to buy the appliance. "How much?"

"A good deal for you I will give! Twenty bucks."

"Umm, I've got ten."

"Sold!"

Duo merrily lugged his "new" washing machine back to his apartment.

********************************

A few moments later, another unsuspecting customer strode into Appliances-To-Go.

"I need a new washing machine," Heero stated coldly.

The strange old woman smiled from ear to ear. "Ahahahaha!!! Just the thing I have!"

********************************

Duo loaded his new washing machine. He pulled out his laundry list.

Towels? Check.
Pants? Duo double-checked the pockets for forgotten explosives. Check.
T-shirts? Check.
Smiley-face boxer shorts? Check.
That funky pair of socks with the Christmas trees and candy canes pattern? Duo smiled. Check.

He added some detergent and pressed the button.

********************************

Heero loaded his new washing machine. He went through his mental checklist.

Towels? Check.
Socks? Check.
Green tank-top? Check.
Spandex shorts? Check.
Green tank-top? Check.
Spandex shorts? Check.
Green tank-top? Check.
Spandex shorts? Check.
Green tank-top? Check.
Spandex shorts? Check.

He added some detergent and pressed the button.

********************************

The washing machines bounced up and down for a few minutes, rumbled, and stopped.

********************************

Duo lifted the lid of his washing machine.

He groaned. He'd lost a sock. Where the heck did his socks go? Ah well. Duo put his single Christmas sock away.

Duo took a closer look at the contents of his washing machine. He pulled out a pair of spandex shorts. Duo frowned. He didn't recall ever buying spandex shorts, much less putting them in the washing machine. He shrugged and put those away, too.

********************************

Heero lifted the lid of his washing machine.

He was missing a pair of shorts. No matter, he had several extra pairs.

Heero took a closer look at the contents of his washing machine. He pulled out a single tacky green sock covered with trees and candy canes. Heero frowned in puzzlement.

"Hn," he grunted, and put the sock away.

********************************

The next time Duo did his laundry, he lost his smiley-face boxers. He found a green tank-top in its place.

The next day, he did his laundry again, lost a towel, and got a pair of spandex shorts in return.

The week after that, he lost his pants and got a plain white sock.

********************************

Heero was a bit startled when he pulled a pair of exploded pants from his washing machine. //Perhaps it would be a good idea to stop using this machine,// he concluded. Heero decided to wear the pants, exploded or not, since they were warmer than spandex. Besides, he had to go shopping to replace the clothes he'd lost.

********************************

Duo felt both relieved and disappointed when other people's laundry stopped showing up in his machine. //Ah well, it was fun while it lasted.// He put on the spandex shorts so that he'd be decent while he went out to buy some new pants.

********************************

On Christmas Day, Duo was strolling down the street, whistling merrily to himself. He ignored the looks he was getting from the other pedestrians. Suddenly, someone grabbed his braid. And pulled. Hard.

"Aiieee!" he shrieked. "What the heck are you doing?!!"

"I couldn't resist."

Duo spun to face his attacker. And stared.

His attacker was a stunning, incredibly sexy teenager with piercing cobalt eyes and windblown hair.

Duo found his voice. "Nice outfit," he whispered huskily. The braid-pulling boy was wearing a green tank-top and mismatched socks, one white, the other a Christmas pattern. Duo glimpsed smiley-face boxers underneath an oddly familiar pair of exploded pants.

"I could say the same for you," responded Heero. He watched the beautiful braided boy with a decidedly predatory gleam in his eyes. Duo was wearing an oversized T-shirt over a green tank-top and an oddly familiar pair of spandex shorts. He was //also// wearing mismatched socks.

"Say, can I take a look at your *cough* um... washing machine?"

"Hn. I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours."

"Cool."

********************************

The loopy old woman from the appliance store cackled happily. "Complete the mission is!" she stated to her crystal ball. With a wave of her hand, the store disappeared as if it had never been.

~owari~


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