Laundry
Woes
By: D. Draggy
Category:
AU, shounen-ai, weirdness, slight sap
Pairing: 1+2
Rating: PG, I guess
Warnings: Shounen-ai, weirdness
Feedback: denari77@hotmail.com if you have the time ^_^
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing.
Oh, and I'm not making money off of this :P
Notes: Ever wonder how you can put two socks in the washing machine and only get
back one?
**** Laundry Woes ****
On a frosty December afternoon, Duo glanced nervously at a decrepit,
ratty-looking home appliance store. The building appeared to be only a beat away
from imminent collapse. It gave him the creeps. He wrapped his filthy jacket
around himself, and with great trepidation, he stepped inside Appliances-To-Go.
A decrepit, ratty-looking woman hobbled up to greet him. "Welcome,"
she cackled, "to Appliances-To-Go!"
Duo fidgeted. "Um, yeah, I'm lookin' for a new washing machine. My old one
blew up when I left a little something in my pants when I threw them in."
"Ahahaha!!! Just the thing I have!" The woman wandered off to the
backroom. "Right this way, sir!"
The Braided One shrugged and followed the old woman. After brushing away
numerous cobwebs, he made it to the backroom.
With a flourish, she whipped off the large tablecloth covering a mysterious
object. "Ta da!"
Duo scratched his head. "What is it?"
"A washing machine this is!"
"You sure?" Indeed, it looked more like the sad remains of one way
past its prime.
"Yes, sure of this I am! Unique make this is, in the world, only two there
are!" The old woman pointed to the identical appliance beside the so-called
washing machine. "Sister machine this is. But only sell you one, I
will."
Duo backed away from the strange woman. What had possessed him to come here?
"That's okay, I'll go to some department store, instead."
The woman shook her head vehemently. "No machine as good as this one do
department stores have!" She ripped Duo's dirty jacket from his body.
"Hey!"
"Observe!" She stuffed his jacket into the washing machine and pressed
a few buttons. The machine bounced up and down for a few minutes, rumbled, and
stopped. She lifted the lid and removed Duo's sopping wet jacket.
Duo was amazed. His jacket had never been cleaner! Even that awful pickle and
jam sandwich stain was gone.
"But if this machine you don't want, take your business somewhere else you
can," said the woman.
Duo decided to buy the appliance. "How much?"
"A good deal for you I will give! Twenty bucks."
"Umm, I've got ten."
"Sold!"
Duo merrily lugged his "new" washing machine back to his apartment.
********************************
A few moments later, another unsuspecting customer strode into Appliances-To-Go.
"I need a new washing machine," Heero stated coldly.
The strange old woman smiled from ear to ear. "Ahahahaha!!! Just the thing
I have!"
********************************
Duo loaded his new washing machine. He pulled out his laundry list.
Towels? Check.
Pants? Duo double-checked the pockets for forgotten explosives. Check.
T-shirts? Check.
Smiley-face boxer shorts? Check.
That funky pair of socks with the Christmas trees and candy canes pattern? Duo
smiled. Check.
He added some detergent and pressed the button.
********************************
Heero loaded his new washing machine. He went through his mental checklist.
Towels? Check.
Socks? Check.
Green tank-top? Check.
Spandex shorts? Check.
Green tank-top? Check.
Spandex shorts? Check.
Green tank-top? Check.
Spandex shorts? Check.
Green tank-top? Check.
Spandex shorts? Check.
He added some detergent and pressed the button.
********************************
The washing machines bounced up and down for a few minutes, rumbled, and
stopped.
********************************
Duo lifted the lid of his washing machine.
He groaned. He'd lost a sock. Where the heck did his socks go? Ah well. Duo put
his single Christmas sock away.
Duo took a closer look at the contents of his washing machine. He pulled out a
pair of spandex shorts. Duo frowned. He didn't recall ever buying spandex
shorts, much less putting them in the washing machine. He shrugged and put those
away, too.
********************************
Heero lifted the lid of his washing machine.
He was missing a pair of shorts. No matter, he had several extra pairs.
Heero took a closer look at the contents of his washing machine. He pulled out a
single tacky green sock covered with trees and candy canes. Heero frowned in
puzzlement.
"Hn," he grunted, and put the sock away.
********************************
The next time Duo did his laundry, he lost his smiley-face boxers. He found a
green tank-top in its place.
The next day, he did his laundry again, lost a towel, and got a pair of spandex
shorts in return.
The week after that, he lost his pants and got a plain white sock.
********************************
Heero was a bit startled when he pulled a pair of exploded pants from his
washing machine. //Perhaps it would be a good idea to stop using this machine,//
he concluded. Heero decided to wear the pants, exploded or not, since they were
warmer than spandex. Besides, he had to go shopping to replace the clothes he'd
lost.
********************************
Duo felt both relieved and disappointed when other people's laundry stopped
showing up in his machine. //Ah well, it was fun while it lasted.// He put on
the spandex shorts so that he'd be decent while he went out to buy some new
pants.
********************************
On Christmas Day, Duo was strolling down the street, whistling merrily to
himself. He ignored the looks he was getting from the other pedestrians.
Suddenly, someone grabbed his braid. And pulled. Hard.
"Aiieee!" he shrieked. "What the heck are you doing?!!"
"I couldn't resist."
Duo spun to face his attacker. And stared.
His attacker was a stunning, incredibly sexy teenager with piercing cobalt eyes
and windblown hair.
Duo found his voice. "Nice outfit," he whispered huskily. The
braid-pulling boy was wearing a green tank-top and mismatched socks, one white,
the other a Christmas pattern. Duo glimpsed smiley-face boxers underneath an
oddly familiar pair of exploded pants.
"I could say the same for you," responded Heero. He watched the
beautiful braided boy with a decidedly predatory gleam in his eyes. Duo was
wearing an oversized T-shirt over a green tank-top and an oddly familiar pair of
spandex shorts. He was //also// wearing mismatched socks.
"Say, can I take a look at your *cough* um... washing machine?"
"Hn. I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours."
"Cool."
********************************
The loopy old woman from the appliance store cackled happily. "Complete the
mission is!" she stated to her crystal ball. With a wave of her hand, the
store disappeared as if it had never been.
~owari~
