Grace
By: Bard Talia
Follow Up:
The song "Grace" was written and performed by Chantal Kreviazuk and can be found on her album "Under These Rocks and Stones." I don't own Gundam Wing and don't claim to. The songfic "Grace" is the second fic in the series "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy: Under These Rocks and Stones." All the songs for the fics in this series come from the albums "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" by Sarah McLachlan, and "Under These Rocks and Stones" by Chantal Kreviazuk.
I stand watching you converse
with our classmates in ease, for everyone loves you. Even I do. I don't see how
you can befriend people with such ease, people whose parents may be killed by
your own hands tomorrow. I have never been good with people anyway, and this war
simply makes it worse.
/Please don't go I cannot breathe you in Your air is too thick for me It makes
my lungs sting /
You begin to leave with your group of admirers. Before opening the door, you
turn and look at me with pleading eyes. I firmly shake my head, though I want to
be with you mare than anything. I can't be like you, I need my solitude, though
it cages me in.
/Please don't go I cannot walk beside Think I'll stay behind a mile 'cause I
don't need you crampin' my style/
The next morning as you leave for class I watch you from behind my laptop. You
ask me to walk with you, but I refuse. I can't be seen with you, don't you
understand? But your pained eyes stay in my mind all day.
/You still have grace You still have mercy, mercy To keep kissing my face Even
though I am wrong, wrong, wrong/
I know I hurt you this morning, but still, you come to my bed tonight. I wish, I
wish I didn't hurt you like I do. I wish we could just be like everyone else
with happily-ever-afters and picket fences. But we're not like other couples,
we're soldiers, we're, we are both guys.
/Please don't go without you I am weak Find myself drinking and sinking and
seeking/
It's Friday night and you're going to a party with some people from school. You
no longer even ask if I want to go, you just give me a sad smile and leave. I
watch you ride off with them through the window as tears slowly run down my
face. I can't believe this! I'm the perfect soldier, I shouldn't be crying! I
find your stash of alcohol and proceed to get very drunk. The last thing I see
is the ceiling as I pass out on the floor.
/Please don't go sometimes it gets so cold But I'd rather grab for a blanket
instead of just walkin' into your comfort zone/
When I wake up I'm in bed and the sun is lightly filtering through the window.
You're lying beside me, but as I listen to your breathing, I realize you're not
asleep.
"How did I get up here?" I ask quietly.
"I moved you onto the bed when I came home." You reply, your angry
voice barely cloaked by calm.
"Oh."
You turn over to face me, your violet eyes sparked in anger. "Heero, would
you like to tell me why you were passed out drunk on the floor when I came
home!!?"
I shrug.
"Is that all you're going to do?"
I shrug again.
"Fine!!" You yell angrily, "I'm going for a walk." You get
up, quickly pull your accustomed black clothes on, and walk out the door.
"I'm sorry." I whisper to the air.
/You still have grace You still have mercy, mercy To keep on kissing my face
Even though I am wrong, wrong, wrong I know I've wronged you I know I've hurt
you so many times I hope I haven't scarred you/
That night you're still gone, and I'm beginning to worry. Why do I keep hurting
you when I love you so much? I don't know what to do because I need you, but
instead of loving you I'm injuring you. I, I don't know how to love, I think I
can only kill.
/You still have grace You still have mercy, mercy To keep on kissing my face
Even though I am wrong, wrong, wrong/
The door slowly opens and you walk into the room with a pained look on your
face.
"Heero, I..." You begin, but I cut you words off as I stand up and
wrap my arms around you.
Tears stream down my face as I whisper softly into your ear." I'm
sorry..."
/If you keep kissing my face One day I'll no longer do you wrong/
