Between An Elf and A Monster
Planning, Planning and more Planning
Part 5
By: Relm Wanderer

Many months had passed since the festival at Tadden and Lina and Zelgadis had been working hard on planning their wedding. After their engagement, Amelia had insisted that Zelgadis and Lina should go tell her dad in Sailune. They both figured that she just wanted an excuse to go see her dad but they didn’t protest. It had been along time since they had seen Phil and they were looking forward to it. When they told Phil they were getting married he was ecstatic. He even insisted that they have the wedding at Sailune and that he’d pay for it all. Well would Lina Inverse refuse an offer like that? Hell no! So the wedding was planned to be held in Sailune.

When it came down to it, the hardest part about planning the wedding was how to invite everyone. They had so many friends they wanted to invite, but some were far away or they had no idea where they were.

“What are we going to do? Let’s say I want to invite someone who lives in like lets say, Geldra-“

“You know people in Geldra?”

“No I was just using it as an example.”

“I have never been to Geldra Miss Lina. What’s it like?”

“I don’t know I’ve never been there!”

“Then why would you want to invite someone who lives there?”

“Oh nevermind, I give up!”

Zelgadis smiled. Ever since their engagement Zelgadis had been happier than he had ever been in his life. Even now when both Gourry and Amelia were driving them nuts with their constant questions. Lina was appalled that Zelgadis could be so happy with Gourry and Amelia irritating them, but then again they were bugging Lina more than they were him.

“I think what Lina is trying to say is that what happens if we want to invite someone who is far away from here? What we need is a way to get the invitations sent out long distances at a short amount of time.”

“You’d have to be a monster to do that.”

Then suddenly everyone looks at Xellos.

“Oh no! You can’t be serious! I’m not going to be your mail service!”

“Oh please Xellos? I’d pay you!”

“No, and that’s final!”

~Xellos~

‘Master?’

~Come back here at once~

‘Is something wrong?’

~Just come back right now~

‘Yes Master.’

“Well it looks like I can’t anyway. My master has called me back. She probably has a new assignment for me to do. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t help you; I’ll be back for the wedding. Goodbye.”

Xellos phased out and phased back in his master’s lair.

“Master you summoned me?”

“Yes Xellos I have an important assignment for you.”

“What ever you wish.”

“This assignment you have to complete without any delays.”

“What do I have to do? Kill an arrogant king? Destroy an enemy of yours? Threaten a town?”

“Deliver Lina and Zelgadis’ wedding invitations.”

Xellos face faulted.

“Master Zellas are you joking?”

“Are you questioning my orders?!”

“No Master.”

“Then get on it!”

“Yes Master. I’ll go right now Master.”

Xellos phased out leaving a very contented Zellas.

“Well that should do it. I’m pretty sure Xellos will get the task done, because no one is going to mess up this wedding! I’m going to make sure of it.”

Zellas started laughing almost evilly and some of her servant beasts looked at her funny. Why did she want Zelgadis and Lina to get married? (Relm smiles while typing at her keyboard, ‘Sorry my friends that...is a secret!’)

Xellos phased back to Sailune castle with a scowling look on his face. Zelgadis couldn’t help but smile wider. (It almost seems like they have switched places doesn’t it? ^-^)

“Where are the dumb invitations?”

“But Xellos I thought you had to go see Zellas for a new assignment?”

“I did, this is it.”

“She wants you to send out the invitations? My how funny…”

“Well since you are doing this for us, why don’t you deliver this one first.”

Zelgadis hands a sealed wedding invitation to Xellos. Xellos a little surprised when he saw who is was for.

“You’re inviting my Master to the wedding?”

“Well it seems appropriate don’t you think? I mean she is doing us a favor leading your services to us now isn’t she?” The smile on Zelgadis was big and Xellos found it incredibly suspicious. Something was going on here and he wasn’t sure what it was.

“And you can take these while you are at it!” Lina throws a large sac on Xellos that was overflowing with invitations.

“And just how many people are you planning on inviting?!”

“Just our closes and dearest friends.”

“And just who the hell is ‘Jeffery’ and ‘Josephine aka The Tourist’?”

“Just some of my friends from before I meet you guys. Oh a word of advise don’t insult Jeffery when you see him okay?”

“Why?”

“Trust me you don’t want to know…”

“Anything else you want me to do? Make gold out of lead? Perhaps get a three-headed ogre to sing at the wedding? Oh I know I could get a duck that has gold feathers and lays golden eggs that we could serve as dinner?!” Xellos was obviously not in a very good mood because he rarely ever used that much sarcasm all at once.

“I like the duck idea! Could you really get one? I’m kinda hungry.”

It took both Lina and Zelgadis to hold back Xellos from killing Gourry.

“You’d better go before you really get pissed.”

“Fine, fine.” Xellos grumbles as he picks up the large sac and teleports away.

“Since we have that taken care of we should get on the other things!”

Lina pulls out this gigantic wedding supply book complete with a wedding consultant that comes with it.

“So, so! Planning a wedding are we! Well let Marliandamei take care of all your planning frustrations!”

“Marli-what?”

“Marliandamei! But please call me Jill.”

“Why?”

“Because I think it’s a darling name!”

“But it’s nothing like your name!”

“So? Does it need to? I’m going to plan the biggest and best wedding! Tell me what are your thoughts on bright neon pink?”

Um ‘Jill’ starts pulling out all these big neon pink flowers and a neon pink grooms suit out of nowhere. She starts getting this crazy look in her eyes and laughs like a madwoman pulling out all these large wedding decorations. It was funny too because Jill was only a 3 foot tall little lady and she’s throwing around all these extremely heavy things with no effort. She threw one of those objects to Zelgadis that caused him fall over because it was so heavy.

“Lina, are you sure about this?” Zelgadis looks at his finance with a fearful look on his face.

“I have no idea…”

From outside of the castle big pink blasts of flowers and ribbons explode from the windows.

Grumbling all the while, Xellos goes from place to place with a sour look on his face.

“Why do I have to do this? Is this some sort of twisted joke? Oh well lets see who is next…ah so they are inviting Zangulus and Martina to the wedding. I wonder if that’s a good idea…”

Xellos pops up in front of the happy couple’s home. There were flowers everywhere and a whole bunch of really cute things.

‘Tisk, tisk you’d think Zangulus could say no to her once in a while…’ Xellos thought while knocking on the door.

“Hello? Whose there?”

“Greetings Miss Martina!”

“Master Xellos?! I mean Mister Xellos, what a pleasant surprise what brings you here?”

“Well I’ve been instructed to give you and your husband something.”

“What is it Xellos? Oh and come in.”

“Thank you Zangulus. I’ll tell you I’m a little tired from all the work I’ve been having to do.”

“Oh really what have you been up to?”

“Well incase you didn’t know Lina and Zelgadis are getting married.”

“What they are? I’d thought Lina was involved with Gourry?”

“That was a long time ago… but anyway I’ve been ordered by my master to deliver their wedding invitations.”

“Why would your master want you to do that?”

“I’ve been asking myself that very same question. Personally I hate having to do this. I have to teleport from place to place and that gets really tiring. I’ve already been doing this for about and hour now.”

“Is that why you’re here? To give us an invitation?”

“Yes that is correct.”

“Hmm… to think a brat like her marrying a stone thing like him…”

“Anyway here is your invitation, I have to be going. If I don’t get all these invitations out soon my master is going to have my head.”

“It was nice seeing you Xellos!”

“I’ll see you both at the wedding.”

Xellos leaves and looks at his next delivery. ‘Who the hell is ‘Rowdy’? How am I supposed to give out invitations to people I don’t know?!’

Xellos sighs and gets out a very large phone book and pay phone.

“Damnit I don’t have any change! Hey do you have change for a 5?” Xellos asks a frog hoping nearby. The frog just blinked looking dumbfounded.

Meanwhile Lina and Zelgadis managed to gag and tie up Jill who was smiling like and idiot all the while.

“Well at least we stopped her…”

“Yeah but look at the mess! Dad is going to kill me!” Amelia looks around at the nearly demolished room.

“Well it’s not like it was your fault that Jill did this.”

“Well it sort of is. I’m the one who ordered the book and consultant…”

“Where did you order it from?! The store of wedding chaos?!”

“Let’s forget about it and get back to the planning.”

“Okay how about if we have lobster as the main course?”

“Miss Lina that is too expensive!”

“Hey Phil is paying for the whole thing so who cares!”

Multiple sweat drops…

After finding out who and where Rowdy was Xellos had delivered quite a few invitations. Only he forgot what Lina told him about Jeffery…

“Are you Jeffery?”

“Yes I am Jeffery the extremely talented fighter!” Jeffery beams out right before he trips and falls flat on his face.

“Ouch…”

“Talented? Ha I’d say your talented alright, as a klutz that is!’

“ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY SWEET DEAR JEFFERY?! YOU’LL PAY!!!”

Josephine comes speeding in and bashes Xellos on the head with a very large mallet. He becomes literally a monster pancake.

“Who are you?”

“Oh don’t mind me, I’m just a tourist!”

“Okay tourists! Bye bye!”

“Hey what a minute I’m supposed to give you something!”

“What?”

“An invitation to Lina and Zelgadis’ wedding!”

“Oh Lina is getting married, how nice!”

Cautiously Xellos hands the invitations to them and gets away from them very quickly. ‘I hope the next one isn’t as bad as that…’

“Red!”

“Blue!”

“Red!”

“Red? Are you kidding me? Red looks terrible on me!”

Right now they were arguing on what the bridesmaids would be wearing. Since Lina would obviously wearing white and guys wearing black tuxes it was only the girls to worry about.

“You two do realize that you have to wear what I say right?”

“Yes.”

“Then why are you two arguing on what you’ll be wearing when I haven’t said what I want?”

“…”

“Good. Now lets see… what color do I want the bridesmaids to be wearing? Well since we decided on pale blue and red to be our decorations I think I’ll choose the color… pale purple!”

Both girls looked thoughtfully for a moment.

“Well purple does look nice on me…”

“And it will probably look good with everything else…”

“I’d say we have a winner.”

“Do you mind pale purple Zel?”

“Nope. I think it will do nicely. But why does every decision require a large argument or fight?”

“Well we probably wouldn’t have that problem if certain people weren’t here…” Lina whispered to Zel.

“Hey I heard that Miss Lina!”

Lina smiles innocently.

“Okay next on the list is… Filia! Oh great, I’ve been tripped, splashed, flattened, screamed at, choked and now I’m going to be smacked with a mace. What a lovely day I’m having…”

Instead of using the door Xellos teleports to exact room Filia was in, off course not knowing that she had just finished her bath.

“Hey Filia-“

“EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!! PERVET!!”

“Opps! I’m so sorry Filia!”

“Damn you, you monster scum! How dare you harass me like this!!”

“I’ve just come to give you something!” Xellos says while dodging the numerous bath items that Filia was throwing at him.

“Get away from me you trash!”

“Fine then I’ll tell Zelgadis and Lina you didn’t want to come to their wedding!”

“WH-WHAT?! They are getting MARRIED?!”

“Yeah and I’ll be going now…”

“NO! Wait a minute! They are really getting married? That is so cute! When is the wedding?”

“Here’s the invitation and have a nice day. Oh and by the way perhaps you should cut down on those sweets, you seem to be gaining a bit of weight.”

“OOOHHHH!!! YOU ARE DEAD!!!” Filia screamed while swinging her mace at the already teleported form of Xellos.

“Okay so we have food, decorations, the clothes what else is left?”

“Seating arrangements for dinner?”

Everyone groans and looks grim.

“Ah so I get a chance to go see Naga again. She’ll be so happy to hear about Lina and Zelgadis.”

Xellos enters a bar where Naga was about to chug down a whole bottle of wine. Luckily she stopped when she saw Xellos, and plus she wasn’t drunk to start off as.

“OHOHOHOHOHOH!!! So the trickster priest comes to visit! Care to join me in a drinking contest?”

“Um perhaps another time. Naga remember that story you told me about Lina?”

“Yeah…hey wait a minute I never told you her real name!”

“Yeah but I’ve been traveling with her myself. Well it seems that she met up with that guy Sid after all.”

“She did? Why didn’t he meet he in the first place?”

“He was turned into a chimera and he thought she wouldn’t like him anymore. Doesn’t matter though because his real name is Zelgadis and they are going to get married.”

“OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH!!! So Lina thinks she can have a wedding and not invite me? I’ll change that! OHOHOOHOHOOHOHOH!!”

“Actually that is why I’m here. She did invite you. I’ve got your invitation right here.”

“OHOHOHOHOHOHOH!! Well then that changes everything! I’ll be there definitely!”

Back in Sailune Lina cringes and doesn’t know why.

“Well I think we are done. Did we forget anything?”

“Yes music. What are we going to do about that?”

“Oh don’t worry I’ve got that covered.”

“Okay then we are done! Provided that Xellos gets all the invitations delivered.”

Xellos sneezes. ‘Either I’m getting a cold or someone is talking about me…So what do I have left?’ Xellos pulls out the last bit of the invitations and it turns out to be one connected blob.

“Send all to Luna, what this Luna person is going to give it to everyone else? Well then that makes my job easier. Now who is this Luna person?”

After a deliberated search Xellos finally finds the person he’s looking for waitressing in a restaurant.

“Are you Luna?”

“Yes.” Luna stares at Xellos with a cold glance that almost seemed like she was staring right through him.

“Well I’m supposed to give these to you.”

“What are they?” Luna says coldly. Her expression and her cold purple eyes were making Xellos nervous. ‘What me a feared monster, afraid of a human? Impossible!’ Then he looked at her again and whatever wits he had disappeared.

“They are wedding invitations for Lina and Zelgadis’ wedding.”

“Are you Zelgadis?”

“No, I am Xellos th-“

“I’ll take them then. Now leave!”

“But I was thinking on perhaps ordering-“

“I SAID LEAVE!”

“Okay. I’m going.”

And Xellos teleported off to avoid Luna’s wraith to find Zelgadis, Lina, Gourry, Amelia and Sylphiel relaxing in a very torn up room.

“I’m not even going to ask about the room… So I take it that the planning is done?”

“Yup. And the invitations?”

“All delivered.”

“Great.”

So they all rested knowing that didn’t have to do anything for a while. 

Chapter 6

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