Rating: PG-13
Warning: Long (very, very long), and MAJOR OOC for Heero!
Pairings: 2+/x1.
Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Gundam. Wing. So. Just. Leave. Me. ALONE!!!!!! On the other hand- I do take credit for other characters such as- Annabel, The Shrets and such. DON'T steal! If you want them (though I can't imagine why...) ASK ME FIRST! (please???) Arigatou!
Author's Note: Okay, I admit that this is getting tiring, but I really loved writing "Shattered Moments" and I love Odin's character so much I just had to. So, if you think that this is dumb and unnecessary, just don't read. This is a sequel for SM, and it takes place AFTER THE WAR and yes, and I know it sounds dumb, I brought Odin Lowe back to life (well, not exactly, but close).
Mending the Shatters Prologue
"Have you packed everything yet?" Quatre's voice came in from the corridor.
"Not yet." Came the reply from inside the bedroom Quatre was about to enter.
"Then hurry up Trowa, the shuttle leaves at midnight, you know." The blond reminded him softly as he approached the tall pilot, who was busy putting his things into a small suitcase.
"Yes Quatre, I know." The other remarked with mild amusement as he walked over to his nightstand and emptied the drawer.
Quatre sat down on the bed and looked around the nearly empty room. "I guess I'm not in such a hurry to leave either." He said with a sigh. "I'm going to miss everybody. We've been together for so long, it's going to be hard to say goodbye."
"We have to move on." Trowa answered quietly, placing a few more items into the suitcase.
The blond sighed again, fingers fidgeting. "Yes, I suppose so." He looked up at the picture that Trowa had just placed in his suitcase. He reached a hand and took the picture, examining it with a weak smile. It was a group picture of all the pilots, standing together in front of the palace at Sank Kingdom. They've taken this picture just three weeks ago, when the war finally ended. It was one of a few pictures of them together.
He examined each and every pilot's face, smiling. He and Trowa were standing close, Trowa looking silent and mysterious as ever. Wufei was standing in the left corner of the picture, scowling at Sally Po who had taken the photograph. But the Arabian knew that Chang would appreciate this picture in the future, no matter what he said about it. Duo and Heero were standing together at the right side of the picture, Duo having one of his mischievous smiled glued on his heart shaped face, and Heero, well, he had his usual stoic mask accompanied by two expressive cobalt eyes. But looking at him now, looking into those eyes, Quatre thought that the blue-eyed boy looked a bit lost. Something he had never seen in Heero, until the war ended.
Trowa's hand suddenly rested on his shoulder and the blond looked up. Trowa gave him a comforting look and gently pulled the picture out of his hands.
Quatre coughed nervously, then got up. "I too better get my things ready." He mumbled and walked to his room.
Half way to his room, Quatre heard a knock on the door. "Just a sec!" He called and rushed to the door. After unlocking it with haste, Quatre opened the door.
"Hello." He said as he looked up at the tall man that was standing in front of him. "Can I help you, sir?"
The man looked down at the short ex-pilot, his crystal blue eyes a bit uncertain. "Um... yes." He finally said, shifting his weight from side to side. "I'm looking for, um, Heero Yuy."
Quatre raised a skeptical eyebrow. "You're looking for Heero Yuy?" He asked, just to make sure he heard right. No one ever came asking for Heero, well, except for that annoying Relena. He looked up at the tall blond man who nodded, looking hopefully at Quatre.
"Yes. Is he here?"
Quatre took another second to recover until he finally managed to let out: "No. He's not here right now." The man visibly flinched as if the words hit him like sharp daggers. "I'm sorry." Quatre added.
The man only sighed, looking more hurt than disappointed.
Quatre examined the blond man, wondering why he seemed so sad. "I'm sure he'll be back soon." He quickly assured him, opening the door wide. "Would you like to wait for him inside?"
The man sighed and bowed his head, shaking it. "No thank you. I shouldn't have come anyway. Sorry to bother you. Goodbye."
Quatre opened his mouth, wanting to telling the man that it is alright if he'll stay, but the man just turned on his heels and left, his entire demeanor downcast.
"That was weird..." The blond mused quietly and closed the door.
* * *
"I'm telling ya that if you would have waited three more seconds before punching that guy, we wouldn't have gotten kick out. I mean you just HAD to wait for the guard to come by? Couldn't you wait three more seconds for him to actually ENTER the bathroom? This is all you fault, I could have made some serious doe today!"
Heero rolled his eyes, picking up the pace of his walking, Duo still running to catch up, blabbering on and on about the stupid bet he made at the video arcade.
"You know what's your problem, man?" The braided boy continued. "You take everything WAY too seriously."
Heero snorted, shoving two hands into his pockets.
"It was just a game, you didn't really need to get so worked up about this guy ditching your Gundam."
"He said it was a piece of space junk!" Heero called harshly, still angry about the whole thing.
"So?"
Heero growled, shaking his head as he kept on walking, faster. How can he explain this to Duo? His Gundam was the only possession he had that was just his. He didn't have anything else in this God damn world, and heavens help the guy who made fun of his mech. Of course, Wing Zero was gone now, but it still mattered to him.
"I don't know why I agreed on coming with you to that place." He muttered, shaking his head.
Duo grinned. "Because I'm leaving in two hours and you know you're gonna miss me?" He teased, putting an arm around Heero's shoulders.
Heero growled and pushed the hand away. "Baka. Like I would miss your endless chatter."
Duo kept on grinning, but kept safe distance from the Perfect Soldier. "Eh, c'mon, Heero, you're gonna miss all of us, just like we'll miss you."
"I don't think so."
Heero suddenly noticed that Duo had stopped following him and turned around to look at the braided baka. Duo was standing a few feet away, hand on hips, and he was glaring at him, eyes dead serious. Heero was a bit startled, seeing Duo like this. As the other kept on glaring silently for a long while, Heero suddenly felt uncomfortable. "What!?" He called impatiently.
"Say it."
"Say what?"
"Say that you'll miss us."
Heero rolled his eyes again and sighed irritably.
"Say it or I won't let you sleep tonight!"
Heero growled.
"It will be hours n hours of 'I'm Henry the eighth I am'!"
Heero nearly chuckled at a 'painful' memory of such a night. He returned Duo's serious gaze, slightly smiling. "Of course I would, Duo. You know that."
The stupid grin was there again and Duo ran to catch up with Heero. "I know, just needed to hear you say it." He patted the boy's back. "I'm sure gonna miss you punching people for no good reason, Heero!"
Heero tried to hold back another little smile as he kept on walking towards their shared house.
"Have you decided on what to do next?" Duo suddenly asked.
Heero took a moment to think, then shook his head.
"The offer still stands, ya know, if you want to come with me."
Heero paused his walking and turned to face Duo. "I know." He let out, looking deep into Duo's eyes. "But I need some time first, to figure things out."
Duo was silent for a while, the trademark grin gone. "I know, Heero. I know." He grabbed Heero's hand and began to pull him with his as he ran down the street. "But that doesn't mean I'm gonna let ya off the hook, we're gonna stick together for a LONG time, buddy!"
"Not if you keep pulling me like that." Heero warned as Duo raced down the street, dragging Heero with him as they ran down the steep hill.
"I thought you love running!" Duo called happily, closing his eyes and enjoying the wind caressing his hair.
Heero watched Duo from the corner of his eye, a bit startled that Duo was aware of that fact. He used to enjoy running like this, once. An eternity ago, in another lifetime.
They kept running down the street until they reached the bottom of the hill, just a few feet from their house. Duo stopped, panting. He looked up at Heero, eyes dancing. "Wasn't that fun?" He asked between breaths.
Heero nodded, his face still a cold mask.
Duo pouted. "You're impossible, Heero! Try to look like you mean it!"
Heero sighed, looking away.
"Oh- don't tell me! Perfect Soldiers don't do stupid unnecessary things like running just to feel the wind."
Heero whirled his head around to face Duo, eyes wide, mouth open to respond.
"Heero?"
Both boys turned around to see a figure standing in the other side of the road, looking at them. The figure was nothing but a silhouette, barely illuminated by the dim moonlight.
"Yes?" Heero called coldly, looking with sharp eyes at the silhouette.
The man's body seemed to relax a bit, and he took a few steps forward.
Heero tensed, reaching one hand for his gun.
The man crossed the road, coming closer to the two boys.
"Hey man," Duo whispered in Heero's ear. "Do you know him?"
Heero shook his head and drew out a gun. "That will be enough mister. Stay back." He warned, voice low and dangerous.
The man halted, putting his hands up in the air as he saw the gleaming gun. "I'm just here to talk." He called, taking a step closer.
Heero fixed his aim, gun aimed at the man's head. "I can hear you very well from here. Stay back."
The man chuckled, tilting his head aside in amusement. "Yeah, that sounds like something you would say."
Heero's eyes narrowed. That voice...
He snapped himself out of it, looking up at the stranger. "What do you want? How'd you find me?"
"Yeah, who are you?" Duo added angrily, his gun also ready in his hand.
"Answering in the order asked: I just want to talk to you, it took me a lot a of time and effort to find you, and about who I am, I need you to tell me."
Duo gaped at the man. "Forget it, Heero. The guy's a total nutcase." He stashed his weapon back into place. "Lets go." He took Heero's hand in his and prepared to pull him along, but Heero jerked his hand away, still looking at the man.
The man raised his hands higher, to indicate that he means no harm, as he took another step closer. "I'm not crazy, kid, I assure you."
Kid... that voice... who..? Heero tensed further, holding the gun with two hands now to keep from shaking as the man approached him, his face now visible. His eyes widened as he saw the man's face. A face he had trained himself to forget, to let go of, to leave behind with all the pain that it caused to remember. But those crystal blue eyes that seemed to always have this mischievous look, the short blond bangs that fell over those easy going features... that smile... that voice... But it can't be!
"Don't come any closer!" Heero yelled. "Who the hell are you!?"
The man's smile suddenly disappeared and his face fell into a sad and grim look. "Guess I was wrong..." The man muttered quietly, head bowed.
"What?!" Heero asked harshly, voice shaking a bit.
The man looked up at him, eyes sad. "Don't you know me at all?" He asked sadly.
Heero swallowed. Of course he does! How can he forget!? That's why he didn't believe him. It couldn't be him... It just couldn't!
"Who sent you? Was it J? Is that it? This is a trick, right? Well tell him that I'M NOT COMING BACK!"
"Heero..." Duo called, shocked at the usually stoic boy's outburst. He reached a hand towards his friend, but Heero violently pushed him away. Duo could tell that the boy was trembling, his eyes wild and fearful, his voice shaking with so many emotions, Duo wasn't sure he was looking upon Heero Perfect Soldier Yuy.
"No one sent me, kid." The man assured him, coming closer. "And the last I know, J is dead." He took another step closer, now standing mere inches from Heero. He looked down into the boy's eyes. "You do know me, don't you?"
Heero swallowed again, mouth dry. He looked up into those eyes, disbelief all over his features. He shook his head, looking away. "This can't... can't be... I- I saw-saw you die... I did... you..." He looked up at the man, eyes filling with tears. "Odin, you died."
* * *
Heero placed his gun on the table, but didn't leave it, his finger still around the trigger. Although he was sitting on a chair, his whole body was tense, ready for action if necessary. He looked up coldly at the man who was sitting across of him, fingers fidgeting as he refused to look him in the eye.
"Talk."
The man flinched at Heero's cold command, looking up at the sharp prussian eyes. He swallowed. "Wh-where do you want me to start?"
"X18999- how did you escape?"
The blond sighed, bowing his head. There was a long period of silence before he began: "I didn't escape."
Heero raised a skeptical eyebrow.
The man looked up at him, seeming a little uncomfortable. "I was found by the rescue team that rushed to the place after the bombs went off. They sent me to a hospital." He looked up and saw the teen was waiting for him to continue. He swallowed again, calling onto memories of the past. "I was in a coma for about three months." He explained, looking back at Heero. "I had no memory when I woke up and it took me a year of physical rehabilitation to obtain full health."
"How did you remember me then?"
This time the man could swear he heard something different in the boy's tone. Hope was it? Or compassion? Could it be?
He looked back at him, smiling weakly. "It was a Christmas party at the hospital, I was asked to help out in the party. I actually played Santa..." He smiled at the memory and then he thought he saw the boy's lips twitch a little, like a beginning of a smile. Or was it just his imagination?
He decided to not keep his hopes too high and continued. "There was this little boy, to whom I gave a present. I gave him a little teddy bear." He examined the teen's eyes, looking for any kind or reaction to his words. "I remembered Yoshi."
Heero nearly flinched. This man knew about Yoshi. His Yoshi... no one but Odin could know about Yoshi. Can it be? Really? Can he dare to hope? No! NO! J knew about Yoshi. He knew. He could have told him.
The blond frowned as he saw the Japanese boy did not react to his words. His face remained the usual stoic stone mask. He sighed. "At first the memories were nothing but a hazed dream. In time I remembered more and more of my life, but I wasn't sure about the reliability of these memories. I was sure of one thing though." He looked the boy, straight in the eye. "I was sure that I had a little blue-eyed boy who had scruffy dark brown hair, which always fell over his eyes." He smiled a bit as he saw the teen eye his unruly locks for a second, his face a bit startled. He leaned closer to the teen, determined to make him see that he was not lying. "I remembered the boy loved to build things like space castles and flying cars. I remembered 'Space horses'. I remembered how he used to look for them every time we boarded a shuttle. Do you remember 'Space horses', Heero?"
Heero swallowed hard, his mouth dropping slightly open and he just gaped at the man. No one knew about the silly 'Space horses'. No one but him and Odin. How can this man know about them? He shook his head violently, taking his eyes off the man's expectant crystal eyes. He can't allow himself this hope. He just can't! This is not a fairy tale! Things like this DO NOT happen. Especially not to him.
He will prove it. He will prove the man wrong.
"Tell me how you found me."
The man frowned again, unhappy that the teen had not answered his question. He was not showing any sign of recondition. He wasn't showing anything at all!
He leaned back in the uncomfortable chair, looking around the dark room. He turned to look back at the teen. "You didn't have a name, and you weren't listed anywhere. It was hard. I searched every orphanage, hospital and shelter in about sixty-five colonies in the L3 area and surrounding colonies. After five years of searching, I gave up." He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly, not wanting to look into those eyes after making this confession. "I thought you were dead." He sighed, looking up at Heero. The boy still looked at him coldly, but said nothing. He shifted in his chair, fingers fidgeting. "I remembered you always wanted to go to Earth. I guess this is why I came down to live here."
"That doesn't answer my question." Heero spat, leaning closer to look the man in the eye. "How could it be that you found me all of a sudden? Who told you where I was? Was it J?"
The man shook his head. "No! No, not J. It was an accident, really."
"Explain yourself." Heero leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest.
"About two years ago, OZ bragged all over the news over the fact that they have managed to defeat one of the Gundams in a battle at Siberia." He looked up at the boy. "I was very curious about the whole Gundams thing and I always kept track about their actions. I knew OZ couldn't possibly defeat them just like that." He chuckled lightly. "Having old connections in the army does help a lot. I used my contacts to find out more about that battle and I discovered that one of the pilots had self detonated." He noticed the boy tense, probably from the painful memories. "I was very curious about the whole thing, about the pilot who had done such a thing, and I managed to get my hands on some information about the pilots, including the one who self destructed."
"You got my info file?"
The man nodded.
"Still, how could you possibly know that I-"
"Your eyes, Heero." The man spilled out directly. "Those blue eyes haunted my sleep for countless of nights. There was no mistake about it. I knew it was you, kid."
Kid... the way he said it... with so much... love. Oh how he missed it so!
Heero swallowed the lump in his throat, straightening in his seat. "So you used your contacts to find out more about me."
The man nodded. "When I found out about Dr. J being your commanding officer or whatever, and I learned that J had started his work on X18999..." His voice trailed off as he saw that Heero understood where he was getting at.
"Still, I was supposed dead." Heero noticed the man flinch in his chair and then the blond nodded slightly.
"I know." He swallowed, looking up into the teen's eyes. "And I grieved."
He grieved for him? Without even being sure that he was the one he was looking for? Why would he care?!
"Two months later, one of my contacts learned of a battle between an Oz commander and a Gundam pilot, in the artic. The said pilot was the same one who had self destructed in Siberia." He took a moment to calm his racing heart, taking a deep breath, and then spoke up again. "I waited nearly two years to come and see you, Heero. I wanted to know for sure and..."
Heero tensed. "And what?"
The blond took another deep breath and looked up at Heero. "Do you believe me, Heero? Do you know who I am? Do you understand why I am here now, talking to you?"
Heero just glared at him. The details were perfect. The man in front of him was perfect. A perfect copy. But maybe, just maybe, he was telling the truth. Can he allow himself this risk? Can he allow himself to trust this man, to believe that this was indeed Odin Lowe sitting in front of him?
"What is it you want from me?"
The man flinched, hurt, for the boy hasn't used his name even once. He didn't believe him, now did he? What had happened to his little Kid? What happened to him that he couldn't trust anyone, especially him?
"I want you, Heero." He saw the boy tense, hand going up for his pistol. "Back with me, I mean." He quickly added. He sighed, as the boy did not seem to relax. "I want you to come and live with me. Like before."
"Come and live with you!?"
"I know it sounds like a lot to ask right now, maybe even too much, but..." He looked up pleadingly at the teen. "I do love you and care for you." His hands were shaking from nervousness. He looked up at the teen.
Heero made a skeptical face, obviously not believing him.
"Don't look at me like that. I know you changed, I realized you've been through a lot, but it doesn't matter to me. I really want to try again. Promise me you'll think about it."
Heero snorted, getting up. He prepared to leave, but then stood by the blond man, looking down at him. "Odin Lowe died nine years ago." He stated coldly. "Kid died as well. You don't want me, you don't want Heero Yuy." And with that he turned and left.
* * *
He shouldn't have left. Damn him! He couldn't do anything right! How many nights did he lie on his poor excuse for a bed, just wishing Odin would miraculously come back to him? How many times did he fantasize that he was no longer in that God forsaken base and back with Odin? How many times?
More than he could count. And now there he was, right in front of him, breathing, living and asking him to come with him. Why did he leave?!
Heero tossed and turned in his bed, trying hard to keep his mind off that man who claimed to be his long lost caretaker. He turned to face his bedroom's door, frowning as he was faced with nothing but darkness and emptiness. The other four pilots all left at midnight. He barely took the time to say goodbye. He promised Duo he would come back in time to say his goodbye, but that talk with Odin lasted too long.
Heero sighed, rolling over to lie on his back, punching the pillow underneath him so it will be more comfortable. He sighed and stared up at the ceiling.
He was alone again. He didn't like that. He had gotten used to being around the other pilots. He will miss them, but still, he couldn't take their offer and join them. It just didn't feel right. They had their own lives to live; they had their home, family and friends. Wufei had Sally and the Preventers, Trowa had Catharine and the circus, Quatre had the world to run and even Duo was starting up his own business. Only he was left behind with nothing to do and no one to return to.
No one but Odin.
Odin. It was really him, he was sure of that. He could feel it. Odin was back and so was his chance for a normal, perhaps even happy (nah... too much to ask for), life. Heero bolted up in his bed, determination covering his features.
He too had somewhere to go. It won't hurt to give it a try.
TBC…