Author's Note: Third sappy & fluffy story in the 'Heart' arc. Hope you like!
A Glimpse into a Soldier's Heart Part 5
V. May I Have This Dance?
I stumble up to our room, rubbing my eyes in exhaustion. My steps are slow and heavy, my head pounding. I swear that I can still hear that excited chicken chatter on and on in my head. Half way through our date I have discovered what was her favorite topic: her. And if not her, then me. If not me then her lousy friend Suzy, or her rich uncle Max, or her dog, or her kitty or her this and or her that...
I don't know why I do this to myself. I think I agree on going out with them simply because I can't bring myself to say no and see that hurtful look in their eyes. I mean, what's one date? I can at least give them that, and maybe even have a good time. Don't get me wrong, I do have a good time, but usually I have to sit there and suffer. It's not what they say or do; it's what they don't. It's not their fault; I am the one who keeps comparing them to someone else. I guess I agreed on going out with that chicken just because of the way she held her fork. Yeah, the fork. She has this special way of holding it, so elegantly, with her long and slender fingers wrapped around it as she moved it with such grace, it reminded me of him. He does just the same thing. But like in all the other times, when I looked up, expecting to be looking into two deep oceans, I was faced with her stupid grin and TONS of make up.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I need help.
I sigh as I unlock the door and step into the room. It's already past midnight and the room is dark. But I know he isn't asleep. No matter what time it is, no matter how late I come back to the dorm, he's still there, up and awake, working on his God damned computer. Sometimes I think he does that because he's waiting for me. But I know it's just wishful thinking. Why would he wait for me?
"Hey there Heero." I greet him weakly as I make my way straight into the bathroom. I smile as I hear the clicking stop and I feel his gaze upon me. He doesn't greet me back, not verbally at least, that he RARELY does, but I feel quite satisfied by the fact that he had directed his attention to me and not the laptop.
After I shower, for the THIRD time today, I stumble back into the room and slump down on my bed, gaze up at the ceiling. I sigh.
"Had a good time?"
I'm surprised that he asked. I turn my head to face him, seeing that he is still typing, eyes on the laptop. I watch his fingers work for a while, and then sigh. God, sometimes I wish I were that laptop.
"Nope." I finally answer. "Date sucked. How was your day?" I ask bitterly.
Heero only shrugs and continues typing.
I look at him sadly, wishing he would talk. You know, just one conversation, about something kids our age are supposed to talk about, would be very nice indeed. I turn away from him, my fingers playing with the tip of my braid. I sigh again.
"Why do you keep going out if you are not enjoying yourself?" His quiet voice speaks up again, as the clicking and clacking continues.
I shrug, turning to lie on my side, facing him. "I dunno. Nothing better to do, I guess."
Heero snorts. "I can think of a few things."
"Let me guess, they have to do with... preparing for a mission?"
Again he snorts, shaking his head. "Baka."
I chuckle, agreeing with him totally. I am a fool. A big fool. But then again, so is he.
"Stephanie was looking for you." He informs me after a long while of silence.
Oh, great... "Really? What'd she want?"
Heero shrugs again. "I suspect it has to do with the dance."
"Oh, right, the dance." Yup, a dance. The school year is nearly over and the school is holding this great ball to celebrate the occasion. It's gonna be one of those fancy things, I suppose, because of the nature of this school. All the rich snobs send their kids here, and so it's gonna be a rich snobs party. Neat...
Naturally, a date is required in order to come to the dance. Heero and I have just arrived to this school when the 'hunting' began, and little did we know that it was up to the girls to choose their dates. Hee hee... you should have seen the looks on Heero's face when drooling little rich girls chased him all around campus. He had told me that he'd rather date a thousand Relenas than to be chased by those girls. But leave it to Heero to make sure no one will chase him, for after a few vicious 'death glares' and another few efficient cruel but yet witty remarks, he had chased all of them away. What a guy.
I for my part didn't have the heart to reject them, and so I was subjected to a long line of flirting and dating. Again, it's not that I'm complaining, I didn't have anything better to do to spend those nights. Well, except watching Heero type on the damn laptop, one of my favorite pass times now days. But after rejecting all those girls, I have no one left to go to the dance with. Well, except for a few dozen girls I didn't want to lay my eyes on in the first place. Yeah, you guessed it; they didn't have ANYTHING in common with him.
Stop looking at me like that! I know I need help, believe me, I know.
"Will you be going with her?"
Wow. I am more than shocked that he asked. I wonder why he did, probably just to make conversation. Wait a minute! Heero make conversation? Nah... must be something else. But what?
I turn back to look at him, shrugging. "I dunno, don't think so. Do you think I should?"
Heero doesn't seem to have heard me, for he just keeps on typing. But I know he did. He's thinking of an answer, that's all. I can almost hear the wheels turn in his head as he thinks. He's so cute when he tires to find the right thing to say.
Eventually, he shrugs. "I think you should do whatever you feel is right."
I smile at his answer and nod. "Yeah, I think I'll do that." I pull the blanket up to cover myself, snuggling deep into the covers. "Night Heero."
"Night." He acknowledges weakly and continues his work. After a few minutes, he stops and I can hear him close down the lid of the laptop. And I can feel him looking at me. He probably thinks that I'm asleep. I hear him sigh and then put the laptop under his bed. I half open an eye, the one who's concealed behind my now messy bangs, and I have to keep from smiling as I see him get dressed, body washed in moonlight.
I keep watching as he settles back on his bed and he lies there, watching me. I quickly close my eyes, afraid that, somehow, he had noticed that I was looking.
* * *
I'm sitting on my bed, pretending to be reading a comic book. Outside, I can hear the students make their way towards the party, that is held conveniently right outside our window! It's like fate is teasing me or something.
I can hear the orchestra playing some classical music, I hear laughter and a few shouts here and there as students call each other and greet each other like they haven't seen one another in years. Gee, just this morning they were in class together. But I guess they're excited. It's not every day you're about to become a senior.
The smell of the food is driving me crazy. I bet they have great food down there. And I bet people are all dressed up with fancy outfits. I don't own anything that resembles fancy. I'm just a street rat, remember? Hell, who am I kidding, I have no place to be there, it's really not my scene. I should be glad that I've saved myself the embarrassment of being down there with all these snobs.
But the food sure smells great. And their laughter, it's a constant tease.
I look up at the bed that's across of mine and sigh. Heero doesn't seem to mind being cooped up in here while the rest are having the time of their lives, right outside our window. Damn him. I bet nothing bothers him. He's so strong. So much unlike me. I bet he thinks I'm pathetic, sulking up here for a stupid reason like not going to a dance. Bet he's gonna lecture me soon.
I sigh and look away from him. This is such a depressing day.
The hours go by slowly, agonizingly, and I am still sitting on my bed, channel surfing with the sound off. At least this rich school has one good quality, it provides a television set. Whoopee...
I turn to look at the window, as I hear the band begin to play some soft rock songs. The orchestra is now gone, replaced by a younger band from our school. They're really good; I muse as I listen to the slow song that's playing.
I get up and walk to the window. I look down at the huge dance floor that is set in front of the stage. Everything is lighted in blue and purple and there are a dozen couples dancing together. The girls are all dressed in classy dresses, the boys wearing tuxedos. It looks like a scene out of a fairy tale. I sigh as my eyes spot a few of the girls that asked me to the dance. Well, at least they're having fun.
I look up at the full moon, pouting sadly. How I wish I could be down there.
"Duo," I jump as I hear Heero's voice coming right from behind me. How come I haven't notice him come so close is beyond me. Guess I was too busy sulking.
I regain my composure and look at him sharply. "Yes?"
"Why aren't you at the dance?" He asks, eyeing the window.
I growl and fold my hands across my chest. "Because, there's no place for me there."
He frowns, little wrinkles appearing on his forehead. Kawaii...
He approaches the window further, leaning down on the windowsill as he looks down at the dance floor. "But you were asked by so many..." He turns to me. "Why didn't you go?"
I force this stupid grin on my face and shrug. "Ah... it's nothing, Heero, really. Didn't want you to be alone, that's all."
He scowls at me. "You know I don't mind that." He takes a step towards me, looking at me with his intense eyes. I swallow. "Why didn't you go?"
I sigh and bow my head, shoulders slumped. I can't tell him! But I can't lie. I don't lie. So I decide to tell him only half the truth. I keep my head bowed as I speak. "I don't belong in such a place." I whisper. I look up and see him eye me in question. I smile weakly, shrugging. "And besides, I don't even know how to dance." I point at the couples that fly gracefully through the dance floor. "Not like this anyway."
Heero frowns again, seeming deep in thought. I look away, embarrassed. Silence falls over us for a long while. I dare not look at Heero, cuz I know he's probably scowling at me.
Suddenly I feel him take my hand in his, and I look up, startled.
Heero only smiles, reaching his other hand and taking hold of my second arm. I'm still gaping at him as he guides one of my hands and rests them on his shoulder. I look up at him, eyes wide as he puts his own hand around my waist. I tense, but then he looks up at me with so much kindness and reassurance that I quickly relax.
Still keeping eye contact, as if making sure that I approve of his actions, he takes my second hand up, and holds it. I hold his hand lightly, awkwardly, and he turns his gaze towards our hands as he adjusts our grip, his fingers lacing through my own shaking hand.
He keeps smiling shyly and turns his gaze up to look me in the eye. And he starts moving, taking one step forward, so I take a step back. He nods and takes another step, and I do the same. Finally, we are a bit far from the window. Heero still hadn't broken his gaze with mine and he takes a small step to the side. I follow suit. And another step forward, I go back. He chuckles as I accidentally step on him. I blush and look down at our feet. Heero is bare foot and I just take a moment to look at his feet. God, he even has perfect feet. Is there anything NOT perfect about this guy?
He nudges me slightly with his arm and takes a step to the left. I follow. We repeat these awkward steps for a while longer; I look at his feet as he leads, until I get the hang of it. As our movements become more confident and smooth, I turn my head up, smiling at him. Hey, I'm waltzing for the first time in my life! And with Heero nonetheless! I should be happy.
We begin to dance, really dance, right there, in the middle of our dark little room.
After a while I get more and more confident and slowly, carefully, I remove my hand from Heero's shoulder and place it around his waist. He looks down at my hand in question and then back at me. He smiles slightly, taking his hand away from my own waist and laying it on my shoulder. I take the lead and we continue to dance silently, the quiet tune from the ball accompanying us as we dance.
I'm so nervous, as I am so close to him that I didn't even realize that I was holding my breath. I open my mouth and take a quick breath, earning a little chuckle form Heero. I blush and look away. I feel his arm let go of my shoulder and he places it under my chin, cupping it with his palm. And he guides my head so I am now facing him again. I smile nervously and he smiles back.
We continue to dance. I can't let my eyes off of his perfect form as he stands against the window, the full moon coming from behind him, creating this magical aura around him. His cobalt blue eyes are shining, looking deep into my own eyes. His movements are slow and graceful and I can't even begin to describe what I am feeling as my hand rests on his slim waist.
I close my eyes and let myself get lost in the warm feeling of his closeness, the soft music playing in the background and his sweet scent surrounding me. I wish this dance would last for an eternity.
As the minutes go by, our waltz becomes nothing but a little slow dance, our movements slow and barely detectable. Heero now has two hands on my shoulders, and my two hands are around his waist. I dare not open my eyes the whole time, afraid to wake up from this dream. I didn't even notice that I leaned my head on his shoulder until I had fully done so. I snap my eyes open and pull back quickly, afraid of his reaction. "Sorry..." I mumble, looking away.
"It's no problem." He whispers and reaches one of his hands up, placing it on the back of my head. Gently, almost hesitantly, he pushes my head back down. I smile weakly as I lean on his shoulder, tightening my grip around his body. I inhale his scent deep into my lungs and close my eyes in pure content.
"Thanks, Heero." I mumble and turn my head around so I can look up at his face. He's looking down at me, smiling slightly.
"You feeling better now?" He asks quietly and I nod, still smiling.
"You're a good friend, Heero." I whisper to him, pulling away a little. "The best I could ever wish for."
I take my hands off of him and he does the same. I think I embarrassed him, for he's just standing there, blushing, his eyes refusing to meet my own.
I decide to lighten things up a little. "Hey, where'd ya learn how to dance like this anyway?" I ask cheerfully, raising a suspicious eyebrow.
He chuckles and throws himself down to sit on his bed, finger fidgeting. "Just this little class we had to take back at Relena's school."
I chuckle as I come and sit down beside him. I can already guess who had volunteered to be his dancing partner at every opportunity. Poor thing...
"And you're a much better dancer then she was." Heero informs me with a bright smile. "Not bad for the first time, ne?"
I giggle. "Yeah, I guess so."
We just sat there together all night, talking. Yeah, talking, like real friends. I told him all about my silly dates and he told me how ridicules Relena looked at their dancing class. We laughed together and exchanged jokes together, talking and fooling around until dawn. I had never seen him like this, and I thank whichever force that has decided to let me have this one joyful night with him. Ya know, all these weeks together I haven't really felt like he was my best friend, but tonight, I really do feel like it. It's great, knowing that I've finally gotten past his cold shell. I don't know what I did to make it happen, but I don't care. It's just great to get to know him like this. And curse you if you think I need any help. I think that there is nothing wrong in being in love.
OWARI
Should I have called it 'Endless Waltz'? Let me know what you think, kay?