Author's Note: I think the title is a bit misleading, but read and find out for yourselves. It has sort of a connection to Shattered Moments and Mending Shatters, but you don't have to really read it to get the picture of what's going on.
A Glimpse into a Soldier's Heart Part 4
IV. About Tank Tops and Spandex
I send worried glances over to Heero as I drive our stolen car down the highway, going at least 240 mph. He is holding his left shoulder with his right arm, blood sipping out of his fingers. His green tank top is torn and scourged, also soaked with blood. I can smell the stanch of smoke emitting from him and I now notice that his hair is a bit scourged as well. Dammit Heero, why do you do this to yourself?!
I sigh and turn back to face the road, reflecting back on our not-so-easy-going mission. We encountered so much resistance at the base, it was clear that we were misinformed. They were waiting for us and that was obvious. After about an hour or so of useless fighting, I noticed that we were not getting any closer to the target point inside the base. I suggested that we fold back, the mission is a failure. But Heero would not hear of it and insisted to go on. I couldn't just leave him there, and so I covered his sorry ass as he so cleverly jumped out of the Gundam and began to run towards the target point on foot. I nearly missed it when this Taraus doll approached him from behind a building and I hurried to knock it down, launching Deathscythe up it the air, knocking the doll to the ground just as it fired. Although the shot had missed Heero, he did not escape unharmed.
Damn him. He just HAD to complete that stupid mission!
"Quit staring." He grounds out, voice strained. He's in pain, and I know it, but he won't admit to it. He didn't even agree on me driving over to the nearest hospital. He said it was way too risky. Bullshit. When I'm injured, he rushes me to the ER without hesitation, but when it comes to him then it's 'might blow our cover...' What an ass!
I sigh and turn back to the road. "Are you sure you're okay? That shoulder is bleeding really hard."
"It's no problem." He grounds out between his teeth, clutching his shoulder tightly. "I'll be fine."
I roll my eyes. "Right."
* * *
By the time we arrive back to our assigned safe house, Heero is unconscious. I sigh, shaking my head, cursing him in every language I know as I pull him out of the car and carry him into the house. The house is empty, for the rest of the guys are also out on missions.
I walk up to our joint room, groaning, as I have to carry his limp form in my hands. He's heavier than he looks, must be all these muscles. I lay him down on his bed and pull out the first aid kit. It's not designed to take care of such grim injuries, but it will have to do.
Taking out a pair of scissors, I cut his already torn shirt and throw it aside. I do the same with his biker shorts, grinning. "Guess, you'll have to say goodbye to those, huh Heero?" I talk to his unconscious form. "What's up with these things anyway? I mean, I wouldn't expect a guy like you to have a fashion sense, but still, can't you at least have a LITTLE taste?" I look down at myself and chuckle. "Look who's talking, ne Hee-Chan?"
I keep smiling to myself as I pluck open a tube full of this cool blue gel, and I gently smear it over his burns. He moans slightly, turning his head, face twitching in pain.
"Yeah Heero, you're juuuust fine. Sure. And I'm the Virgin Mary."
It takes me a while longer to tend all of his wounds, and when I'm finally done, half of his left leg and torso are covered with bandages.
"What an ass..." I curse him again as I get up, cleaning my hands on my cloths. I put the kit back in place and then look down at the scourge and bloody pile of cloths. I smirk, bending down to pick them up. "Well, I better get rid of this now huh?" I look at them once more, frowning. "About time too..."
* * *
I wake up at around noon, turning over in my bed to avoid the bright light that comes through the window. I punch my pillow, making it a little more comfortable, and slump back onto it, ready to go back to sleep. As I begin to drift into sweet slumber again, a distant sound of running water reaches my ear. I open my eyes, looking straight at the bed across of mine, and blink. It's empty.
I sigh and roll over to lie on my back, staring up at the ceiling. Eight hours and he's already on his feet. What a guy. He was looking like a dead man last night, and I thought for sure that he'd stay in bed for at least a day for this one. But no... that would be asking for too much out of the Perfect Soldier. Fuck him. Doesn't even want to take care of himself. It's not like we have a mission anytime soon. What an idiot! Why do I even bother worrying about him? Oh wait. Don't answer that. I know why. Guess I'm the real idiot here, huh?
I hear him as he re-enters the room, his musky scent filling the air. I sigh and close my eyes pleasantly. God he smells good.
"Morning Hee-Chan..." I call as I stretch my arms and sit up in my bed, yawning.
"Hn."
I sulk at his response and open my eyes again.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow.
I blink a few times, just staring at him.
Heero had just come out of the shower wearing nothing but a white towel around his slim waist. His hair is not fully dried and so it is dripping water on his bare chest. The little drops of water glister in the early noon sun that washes over his creamy skin. The bandages are all gone, and his bruises are more faint, barely visible. The usual mop of hair that falls over his eyes is brushed up and looks surprisingly neat. No need to say, but he is looking absolutely gorgeous.
He doesn't even send a glance my way as I gape at him and he walks over to his bed, looking around for something. I keep watching him as he bends down to see under the bed, giving me a nice view. I wipe the wide grin off my face as he straightens up, turning slowly to me.
"Ano... Duo?"
"Hm?" I ask innocently. He didn't notice I was eyeing his ass, now did he?
He's glaring at me now. Oh, God! He did notice! I'm a dead man.
"Did you see my cloths, Duo?"
His cloths?! What cloths? Ah - The cloths!
Oh-oh.
"Um, I'm sorry Hee-Chan, but, um... they were pretty torn out."
He folds his arms across his chest, still glaring. "You threw them away?" He asks coldly, gaze threatening.
I swallow, getting up, nearly shaking. "Um... yeah... but, um... it's not like you could have worn them after that blast, Heero."
He's still glaring. "And what am I supposed to wear?" He asks in a frightenly monotone voice.
I swallow again, looking around. Oh shit! Heero didn't bring his backpack with him. Oh fuck! It's still in Wing. Oh God damn it - I dropped the Gundams for repairs at Howard's, meaning Heero has nothing to wear!
I'm a dead man.
I look up at him with my best puppy eyes but it seems to do little help. Heero is really pissed. He is practically panting with exasperation. I decide to do the next best thing - I begin to run for my life!
* * *
He chased me all around the house for who knows how long, cursing and threatening to kill me. Finally, after deciding that I couldn't last much longer, I ran outside, down the street. At first I was sure that he would continue chasing me, for nothing will stop Heero Yuy from completing a mission, especially if it is to kill me. But after a few meters I realized no one is yanking my braid, or cursing me in Japanese. I stopped and whirled to look around, just to make sure he is not lurking in the shadows, preparing to strike.
But he wasn't there. I looked around once more, just to make sure, and then I turned to face the house. Heero was just standing in the doorway, one hand resting on the doorframe, looking at me. Not glaring, just looking. I blink as I think I see him bow his head, just slightly, as if sad or something, and then he looks at me one last time, before entering the house.
I swallow, still panting, trying to catch my breath. I think I upset him or something. Oh great, guilt trips are the last thing I need.
I make my way back to the house and close the door behind me. I find Heero sitting on the couch, still wrapped in a towel, just staring at the air in front of him. I hesitate before coming to sit by him.
"I'm sorry Heero. You can borrow some of my stuff." I let out apologetically.
Heero only snorts, turning away from me.
I sigh. What's up with him?! It's just stupid cloths! How can one get attached to such distasteful clothing anyway?
"Heero," I start again, reaching out a hand towards his shoulder.
He pulls away.
"Listen, I said I'm sorry! Why are you so worked out about damn cloths?!" I burst, now really pissed about his stubborn, almost child-like behavior.
"It's not the cloths!" He shouts back, jumping up to his feet, stomping his foot on the floor.
"Huh?" I blink, confused.
Heero shakes his head and sighs. "Forget it." He lets out miserably, stomping back upstairs.
What's wrong with him? I wonder, also getting up. I wait a few moments, letting him cool off, before I make my way up to our room.
* * *
I knock on the door, not really wanting to act suicidal and walk in without notice. But he keeps silent. Stubborn boy!
"Heero, can I come in?"
I hear him grumble something under his breath and I take it as a yes. I open the door and walk in. I find him sitting on his bed, his blanket wrapped around him, shivering. Silly me, I should have realized it is cold, and he's been wearing nothing but a towel for the last hour.
I sigh sadly, shaking my head, as I walk to my side of the closet. I grab a few things and throw it his way. "Here, put this on. No arguments."
He catches the clothing I've thrown his way, seeming a little calmer than before, but still sulking. He walks to the bathroom in order to dress and I can't help but smile as I watch him come out.
Although he looks as good as ever, even better, in my dark blue jeans, a matching collar shirt and black sweater, the cloths are a little sloppy. Like I had suspected, I have nothing that fits his slim figure and so the jeans sort of hangs down his waist and the sweater's sleeves are a little too long. I smirk as he glares at me, muttering a quiet 'omae o korosu'.
"Ah, c'mon Hee-Chan, it's not THAT bad."
"Hn. Shut up baka." He grounds out, stalking over to his bed.
I frown as he slumps down it, arms across his chest, sulking.
He's really upset about the cloths thing. God dammit, I shouldn't have thrown them away.
"Why are they so important to you?" I dare to ask as I come and sit across of him.
He looks away, sighing. "I said forget it." He whispers sadly.
I sigh again, bowing my head. I see that I have no choice now; I'll have to go get them. I shudder. I hate snooping around the dumpster!
* * *
The things I do for you Heero. First I bust my ass saving you, then I go and search the dumpster for you. God damn you and your very soul to hell, I don't think that there's anything I won't do for you, if only not to see you so upset.
After a LONG and thorough shower, and after I washed whatever was left of Heero's clothing, I walk back to our room, the two items in my hand.
I see him still lying on the bed, hand over his eyes, and I throw the dammed cloths his way.
He bolts up, gasping, as the two items land on his abdomen. I have to smile at the complete shock that plays over his handsome features. He grabs the discarded cloths, then he turns his head up, looking at me, stunned.
I smile at him, happy to see that I was forgiven.
And then Heero tears the clothing into shreds.
"WHAT?!" I call, completely bewildered. "Heero! I just went dumpster-hunting for those!"
He ignores me, and continues to tear the fabric of his once-to-be spandex. Slowly, body sort of numb with shock, I settle down on my bed, my eyes not leaving Heero for a second. Did he hit his head or something? Or does he just want to torture me for throwing the cloths away? Is he playing a twisted game with me? Nah... Hee-chan doesn't know the meaning of the word game. So what is it then?
I continue to watch as he digs his hand into the inner seams of the shorts and tears them gently apart. I swear that I can hear him sigh in relief as he pulls out something from inside.
Okay... so the guy hides something down his shorts... Heh, I wonder why it makes me smirk. And a little aroused...
"What is it?" I ask quietly as he pulls the thing into sight. My eyes widen and I gape at him in shock. "A wallet?! Heero, all of this for a freaking WALLET!? What, you short on cash or something?!"
"Shut up, baka." He growls quietly, and turns away from me, so I can see only his back.
Why is he hiding? And from me nonetheless. I thought we got past that stage... I thought we were best buddies...
I pulled myself closer to the edge of the bed, leaning to my side so I can sort of see what he is doing. I see now that he traces his fingers along the smooth surface of a black leather wallet. His movements are so slow and careful, as if it was done with... love. Goodness, I wish those fingers would touch me that way...
Gaping a little, I turn my gaze up to watch his face. His features are softer now, almost dreamy, as he traces the tip of his fingers over the small case. I swear to God I see him smile a little as he opens it. I edge closer to him, nearly falling off the bed, trying so hard to see what he's pulling from there. I'm sure it isn't cash. But Heero probably senses me coming closer, and turns around, so now I cannot see anything at all!
"Hee-chan?"
"Be quiet."
I sigh, dropping my gaze down to the floor. "Are you still mad at me?"
He sighs. "No. I thank you for retrieving it for me."
"Then why are you hiding?"
He doesn't answer at first, and there is a long silence between us.
"Heero?"
"It is personal."
"Oh. Okay. Personal... I get it. Sure. Why would you share it with me..." It's not like I'm your best friend or anything...
Again Heero sighs, turning slowly to me. I look up at him, and I am surprised to see doubt and hesitation in his baby-blue eyes.
"You promise not to laugh?" He whispers, and I merely manage to nod my head, still gaping at the rare sight in front of me. His eyes are shimmering as if he were crying...
He smiles slightly, and then taps on the bed, signaling me to come over there. I hurry to comply, nearly jumping over to the bed. We keep eye contact for a long while, until Heero finally hands me what he had took out of the wallet.
I take it with a shaking hand, and slowly turn my head down to look at it. At first I thought it was just a piece of paper, but now I see that it is a photo. It's upside down, so I turn it, anxious to see what's in it.
I hear Heero take a sharp breathe, as if nervous or something. I take my own deep breath, and look down at the photo.
It's very old, I can tell you that much. It's wrinkled and torn in the edges. It's got a bit of yellow stains on it too, but you can still make out the picture pretty clearly. At first, I don't understand why Heero has such a photo. It is a photograph of some family, it seems. There's a man, a woman and a little boy, holding a teddy bear. I narrow my eyes and bring the picture closer to my face, trying to get a better look at the photo. The man looks like he's thirty or something, he had short blond hair and a cunning smile on his face. His hand is wrapped around the woman's waist, and I look up at the woman's face. She seems younger than him, but not by much. She too has long blond hair, really long, and it is braided much like my own. She too is smiling, and I decide that she is a very kind woman, by her smile.
Again I hear Heero take a deep breath and I turn to look at the boy in the picture. First of all, I decide that he is the cutest thing I had EVER seen. He is sitting on the man's broad shoulders, one hand holding the man's hand for support, the other holing a small teddy bear up in the air. He too is smiling at the camera, deep blue eyes sparkling with joy and content. Those deep blue eyes are partly covered by a thick, long, messy mop of chocolate brown hair. I gasp and look up at Heero.
"Y... you?"
Heero sighs and looks away, nodding his head. "Yeah."
Wow.
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow!
"H-how old?"
"Five." Heero lets out with a sigh.
I force myself to chuckle. "Well, weren't you a cutey!"
Heero snorts, not facing me.
I look back down at the picture and sigh. Heero had a family? I NEVER had one. I wonder how he lost them... I wonder what they were like... what he was like before... before his training. He looks so happy in here... so innocent and small... I trace my finger over the child's features.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask after a long while of silence.
"No." He answers, then sighs. He turns slowly to look up at me, then at the photo in my hand. "Not now, anyway."
"Why do you keep it so close?"
"So I'll remember what I am fighting for." He answers quietly, caressing the woman's face with his fingers. "So other people won't loose what I once had."
I cannot agree more. I feel exactly the same. I just never thought that Heero, Perfect Soldier who seems to only follow orders, was fighting for any other reason or cause besides the ideal peace. Well, I suppose that I was wrong about him. Again. I've been doing it a lot lately. It seems that every once in a while, I manage to get a larger peek behind the Soldier's mask. And each time, I am surprised and also baffled at what I find there. And I am more than happy to be discovering Heero, my best friend, and the most wonderful and intriguing person I ever knew.
"Hey, Heero, how about we go out and buy so some cloths?" I ask cheerfully, jumping off the bed. "Get your mind off all of that gloomy brooding!" I carry on, grabbing his hand.
He reluctantly gets up and sighs. "I thought I can borrow your stuff for a while."
"Eh, heck, we'll just go and grab us some ice-cream then!" I carry on, dragging him out of the room. "Or a lollypop, and some candies... toys... teddy bears..."
"You're mocking me, aren't you?"
"Me? Nah..." It's just that I would kill to see the same simile that's in that photo, portrayed on your lovely face; I want to tell him, but hold myself back. "Just trying to cheer ya up man! Make up for being a jerk and throwing away your stuff in the first place!" Hey, I'm not lying! It's the truth. Or at least a part of it. "C'mon, Hee-chan, I'm buying!"
I dragged him over to the car and drove to the mall, a new determination stirring up inside of me. I don't care how long it will take me, and don't care how, when where and why, but I WILL make Heero smile like that again. You'll see. I'm gonna get that incredible little boy out again. I'll do anything to make sure it will happen.
You know, it's kinda funny if you think about what made all of these truths come out. Who would have thought I'd learn so much from a simple pair of tank top and spandex?
OWARI
If you're wondering what's the story behind the photo, read my other fic called 'Shattered Moments'.