Rating: PG-13
Warning: Shounen-ai, fluff, Duo's POV
Pairing: 1+2.
Disclaimer: I DO own it - BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Nah... just kidding. Don't sue.
Author's Note: Okay then, I was really REALLY sick during a literature test, and my teacher made me a paper bird so I would feel better and do the test (got an A+ at the end...). So that's where this story came from. Just in case you were wondering.
Enjoy!
A Glimpse into a Soldier's Heart Part 1
I. Paper Birds
I feel the dark cool depths swirl and turn around me. I try to fight the strong currents, my hands flying about wildly, desperately trying to push myself up. But the waves continue to rage wildly around me, pushing me down into the unknown. I feel myself suffocating, my lungs burn. I open my mouth in a silent scream, but only the thick dark waters are there to hear my cry. My body whirls, twists and turns like a toy in the wave's hands. My whole world tilts sideways, as the bottom of the sea opens its mouth to swallow me whole.
Darkness.
I cannot hear or see a thing. But at least the world had ceased moving and spinning. I swallow, my eyes searching the thick darkness for any sign of life. I hear a distant sound echo throughout the darkness. It gets closer and closer and I look around me, trying to find where it is coming from. It gets so hot all of a sudden and I feel sweat cover my body. It's funny, I should be wet from the water, but from some reason, I know that I am sweating.
The sound gets closer and closer.
The air around me gets hotter, and I feel so nauseous, I wanna gag.
And the sound approaches me further.
Click... Clack... Click... Clack...
Sounds like crabs or something, I muse, my ears trained to pick up the sound as it comes and goes, comes and goes...
Click... Clack... Click... Clack... Biip! Biip! Click... Clack... Click... Clack...
BIIIIIIIIIP!
And I open my eyes, moaning loudly as the bright morning light assaults my eyes.
Click clack click clack click clack click clack click clack... BIIIIIIIIIP!
I moan again, turning away from the bright light, pulling the pillow over my head. As I do so, I feel the world start to spin again and I pout. I hate dizziness. And if there's anything I hate more than dizziness is waking up into it and hearing:
Click clack click clack click clack click clack click clack... BIIIIIIIIIP! BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!
"ARGH!!" I shout and throw the pillow in the direction of the annoying sound. I regret it immediately as the movement causes me an even more ill feeling. I gulp, and jump out of the bed. As I run towards the bathroom, I hear the clicking stop and I can feel those eyes look in my direction.
I waste no more time and bend before the toilet, puking my guts out.
Oh God... I hate being sick.
* * *
After a shower that was supposed to help me feel better, I drag myself to my bed. It's no big surprise that the clicking and clacking had returned. I wish he would stop!
I throw myself down to my bed and snuggle deep into the covers. I cover myself up to my neck, and hold the blanket right there, cuz I know that if I'll move, the floor would tilt again. I can't even close my eyes, for the darkness makes me even dizzier, so I keep them open, looking straight a head at the figure that sits by the small table across of my bed.
I smile a little to myself. Heero looks absolutely gorgeous when washed by the early morning light. It surrounds him in an almost heavenly glow, a bright white aura surrounding his perfect form. I sigh to myself, looking away. As if to tease me or something, he is also wearing no shirt. I shiver and cough. God, he is beautiful.
I should really stop these nonsense! Looking at him like this will only make things worse for me. I can't let myself fall for him! No way! Shinigami is not allowed to love anyone, for the ones he loves, are taken away.
I should really stop this. I mean, I don't even know the guy! Sure, we spent a couple of weeks together in various schools, but we didn't become friends or anything. Well, not as much as I would have liked us to. There's this mutual trust and understanding between us. I guess it couldn't be helped; after all we are both here for the same reason. And I guess I'm useful to him in a way, otherwise, he wouldn't have kept me around. Or maybe he just wants to keep his eye on me, making sure that I won't screw up his precious missions.
Again I sigh. If there's one thing that I did manage to learn 'bout the guy, is how obsessed he is about his stupid missions. There's nothing more important to him than those missions, and he's defiantly the type to do everything for their sake. Other than that, I can't really claim to know him.
So how come I'm falling for him?! Jesus! This can't be happening to me! It's the physical attraction. Clearly physical. Nothing more to it. Maybe a hormone problem. Yeah, that's it. I'm falling for his looks... that must be it. Can anyone really blame me for it? I can't control it, ya know!
Who am I kidding... it's more than looks. Being around him for so long, both of us cooped up in some damn dorm in some God forsaken school, had given me time to watch him. I bet he doesn't know that, but he isn't always the perfect soldier. He slips sometimes. Yeah, slips, ya know- like not noticing that he's doing something that is human. Usually, if he is aware, he makes sure no one is looking. Like one time he thought I was asleep, but I heard him hum to himself as he worked on one of his mission reports. And do you know he talks to his computer?! Hee hee... I bet he doesn't realize he does. And he not only speaks to the computer, I even caught him talking to the weather once. That was weird, but it touched my heart, seeing him standing by the window, talking up to the sky. I guess he gets lonely sometimes, as he keeps distancing himself from people. Why doesn't he speak to me instead of the clouds or his laptop? Why does he have to keep this soldier image? I bet it's so hard...
"Duo," His silent voice jerks me out of my musings and I look up to face him. He is still in front of that damn laptop, typing away. "Get dressed, we have a class in twenty minutes."
I roll my eyes, turning to lie on my stomach, and immediately regret it as the world begins to shift and turn. "Ne, Heero, I don't think I'll go today..."
"And why not?" He asks coldly, still not facing me.
Again I sigh. Always the perfect soldier, the perfect student, whatever...
"Cuz I don't feel so good..." I mumble, my voice muffled for my face is buried into the pillow. I hear the chair being pushed back and Heero's steps soon follow as he approaches the bed. I am surprised to feel it shift and I push myself up to see him sitting by me. I don't know if to fight or flee as he reaches his hand towards me, his gaze so intense I begin to feel awkward under it.
I gasp as he places his cool hand on my burning forehead, and my eyes turn to look up at him in surprise.
He frowns, unhappy. "Hn. You're running a fever." He states, shifting his hand to my cheek, again to check my temperature. His touch is careful, almost gentle, like he isn't used to this kind of contact. But still, those long and elegant fingers touch me in a way that makes me close my eyes, suddenly thinking of sister Helen and how she used to do this when I was sick.
I nearly whimper as the cool hand withdraws and I open my eyes to look at him. "So do I have your permission to stay in bed today?" I ask teasingly.
"Hn. Baka." He spits, getting up and walking towards his bed, at the other side of the room. "We have a mission tonight." He informs me as he puts his shirt on, buttoning it up. "Rest until then. I'll inform Mrs. Reed about your sickness."
"Gee, thanks Heero." I mutter.
He glares at me for a second and then takes his jacket off the bed as well and heads to the door.
I sigh and pull my blanket over my head. Always the missions. Only the mission... it pisses me off! How come I am falling for such a cold and indifferent person? I should get my brain checked or something.
* * *
I spent most of the morning dozing or thinking about him. My head is still pounding and the dizziness hasn't warned off. I curse this damn nausea as I see the digital display of my watch turn into one P.M. Damn, I'm gonna miss lunch. I wonder what they'll be having...
I look up from my snuggled up position as I hear the door open. I send another look at the clock and wonder who the hell will come here at this hour. Surprisingly enough, it is Heero. I watch him, eyes wide as he walks into the room, carrying his backpack and a small plastic container.
"Umm, Heero, what are you doing here so early?" I ask, frowning at myself as I hear my voice is so hoarse. Great! Just what I need, losing my voice!
Heero throws his bag to the floor and walks over towards me. Again he sits down on the bed and hands me the container. "Here. Have this." He commands and I see him run his eyes over me.
I bet I look like hell. My whole body is sweating buckets; my hair is nothing but a tangled and horrid mess, my braid falling apart. I bet I have this really sick and pathetic look on my face that will make him give me another lecture at how weak is my body.
I am surprised to find that he does no such thing. Instead I feel his cool hand touch me again, and I moan at the cool touch against my burning skin.
"Your fever has gone up." He comments, looking quite unsatisfied with that.
I look away, almost ashamed. I hear him pluck open the container and the room fills with a delicious aroma of... chicken soup. Oh God... I feel my mouth begin to water. I am so hungry!
He hands me the soup container and a spoon and I gladly accept. I look up at him as I eat, seeing him sit quiet and unmoving, hands on his lap, his gaze at the floor. I think he's like this sometimes, because he doesn't know what to say. He's not much of a talker, maybe because he doesn't know what's the right thing to do or say in a certain situation.
"Thanks for the soup, buddy." I rasp cheerful, raising the round container as if making a toast. "Good choice."
He smiles weakly, his head turned away from me and he probably thinks that I didn't notice that sweet little smile. I watch him as he gets up and walks over to pick up his backpack. As he returns to sit by my side, he pulls something out of the bag. It's a sheet of paper.
"We got our tests back today." He tells me, handing me the paper.
"Oh." I let out, knowing where this is going. "Is it an E or an F this time?" I swear that if I'll hear one more lecture about my grades, I'm gonna try and stuff this spoon down his throat. It's not that I dunno this stuff, I just REALLY hate studying. I don't need the grades, so why bother?
"Actually, you got a D." He answers, and I can swear I can detect a hint of amusement in his monotone voice. I arch an eyebrow. "A D? No kidding!"
Again his lips twitch in what I think is a beginning of a smile. He hands me the test.
I shake my head. "I don't need it, Heero." I tell him with a bitter smile. "It's not like I got a mommy who'll hang it on the fridge with pride." I look back down at my soup and cough.
Silence falls between us and I berate myself for saying such an unnecessary thing. I look up, hoping not to see that I have upset him. I know it's hard to believe, but I can tell when he's upset. I learned to recognize all the small gestured he makes as he expresses what little emotion he allows himself. And when he's upset, you can see it in his eyes.
But Heero shows no such thing. Instead, I see him place the sheet of paper on his knees, straightening it carefully before he begins to fold it neatly. I shift my gaze from his concentrated expression and down to his hands that work carefully to fold the paper. I find that I cannot take my eyes off those long slender fingers as they trace the outlines of every fold, making sure everything is nice and neat. He works slowly, thoughtfully, and gradually the sheet of paper begins to take shape. He flips it over, making a few last adjustments. I see a small, nearly invisible, smile on his face as two of his fingers grab a delicate fold, pulling it out of the whole construction. My eyes widen as I realize what he had made. It is a bird. A paper bird.
Still half smiling, he turns to me, handing me the bird he had made. His smile grows a little as he sees me sit there, gaping at him in shock. I know I look like an idiot, but I'm so shocked by what he had done. And why?
"Wha-what is it?" I manage to choke out.
"An Origami crane." He answers simply, placing the paper crane to my feet. "They say that if you make an ill person a thousand paper birds, he'll get better."
My eyes look down at the bird, then back at him. "Where'd you hear that?"
He shrugs, looking away. "I dunno. Somewhere. Can't really remember."
I grin at him, taking the small bird in my hands. "Thanks Heero!" I chip, raising the bird up to my face, examining it. "It's cool."
He nods, as if grateful for my thanks, and picks up his backpack. "Get some more rest then, I'll see you in a few hours."
I am still grinning as I watch him walk over to the door. He sends me another look before finally walking out of the room. I look back at the bird, and sigh. Sometimes, it's so hard to tell what goes on inside that beautiful head of his. Just when I think I got him all figured out, he does something like this. What a guy...
* * *
More hours go by and I am still lying in my bed, feeling rotten and miserable. I slept for the last four hours, and now it's almost time for Heero to come back to the room. I look down at the paper bird that lies in my hands and smile.
He can be so sweet sometimes. I wonder if he's aware of it at all, the way he makes me feel. I wonder if he knows what this bird thing had done to me. He had practically just placed a stamp on my heart, marking it as his. It's not often when I get to see the boy behind the soldier mask, and I think I just fell for him even more. I wish I could see that boy all the time, not just the soldier.
I look up as I hear the door open. Gee... I didn't notice the room is now dark. I wonder what time it is.
Heero walks into the room, not even turning on the light. He probably thinks that I'm asleep. Well, if he wants to be thoughtful, please don't let him turn on that damn laptop again. Anything but the clicking!
But he does no such thing. He throws his bag aside and slumps down on the bed, throwing one hand over his eyes, a clear sign that he is exhausted. I smirk. Do you think I should write a 'How to read Yuy' dictionary? I've learned how to read him so well; it will be a crime not to write a book about it. I'll fill it with tons of pictures too. Hee hee... I wonder how much Relena would pay for a copy...
I keep watching him silently as he lies there for a few minutes, just dozing I think. The sound of a hundred running feet, accompanied by a few dozen shouts and loud music cut through the pleasant silence of the room. I can hear all the different groups of students gather around in the yard right beneath our window, the sound of a car's horn and low base music filling the yard, while an annoying techno track comes from the rooms across the hall.
Heero sighs and pushes himself off the bed. I hold myself from laughing as he stomps his way to the window, glaring down at the noisy pupils. God, he is so beautiful in the moonlight. Even if he glares at whatever moves. Call me a nut, but I think that glare is kinda cute. You just have to get through the intimidating part, the one that makes you cringe and run for your life, and then you'll notice how cute he actually looks. That's one of the reasons I'm immune to this glare o doom. That and the fact that I have received it for more times that I can remember.
I close my eyes quickly as I see him turn towards me. I can't explain it, but I can feel his gaze upon me. Those ocean blue eyes leave a burning mark on my skin as they look upon me lengthily. I hear him sigh quietly.
I'm afraid to open my eyes, cuz I dunno if he is still looking at me or not. Once he puts his gaze upon me, I can feel it for hours. I can never tell when he looks away. So I keep lying still and silent, and without even noticing, I fall asleep.
* * *
It is morning when I finally wake up. I flutter my eyes open and just stare at the vision before me. I am lying on my side, the morning light hitting me straight in the face, reflecting on the white sheets and blinding me. It looks like I am surrounded by an aura of white light, but I know it is impossible. I blink a couple of times, just to get my vision clear and focused. And I blink again, confused.
All around me, on the bed and the nightstand by it, are little white paper birds.
I sit up quickly, looking around me in total shock. There are so many paper birds around me, I won't be surprised if there'll be a thousand.
I turn my head slowly to the other bed in the room, my mouth still open in amazement.
Heero stirs a little in his bed, turning around so he's now facing me, deep asleep. I feel a joyful smile make its way up to my lips, and I look down at the birds. Ever the efficient soldier, Heero had made each bird folded neatly, all of them the exact same size. I begin counting them, one by one, and indeed, there are a thousand.
Oh Heero... whatever made you do such a thing for me? I wonder as I look up at him, sleeping peacefully. I remember the mission he had mentioned and I scold at myself. I had slept through it! Heero had to go all by himself and I was sleeping like a total slob! Then why did he do this for me? How come he didn't get angry and punch me or something? Could it be because he cares? Can I really afford to think so?
Suddenly I hear him cough and I turn to look at him. He opens his eyes slowly and our gazes lock.
After an eternity of silence, Heero speaks. "Do you feel better?"
I swallow and nod, not trusting my voice right now.
Heero smiles weakly, turning to lie on his other side. "Good. Cuz we got a mission tonight." He states, voice heavy with sleep.
I blink, confused. "A mission? But didn't we have one yesterday?"
"Rescheduled." Is all he says, lifting the blanket up to his neck.
"Rescheduled?! How come?!" I see him shrug, and he keeps silent. Another smile creeps up to my lips. "Thanks, Heero." I let out softly.
He snorts. "Go to sleep baka."
I grin, settling back into the covers. "Thanks for the birds too." I tell him, reaching up to hold one in my hand. They really did make me feel a whole lot better.
OWARI
How bad was it?