Rating: R
Warnings: abuse, BDSM, NSC, bastard Duo... *thinks to herself* Anything else? Umm... maybe.
Pairings: 2x1, ?x1, 2x?
Disclaimer: I think it is too obvious for me to bother and say it, but still: I don't own them.
Author's Note: I was watching the Gravitation OVA the other day and then - BANG! This idea came up. I hope you'll enjoy it. It has nothing to do with singing, by the way. Just Shuichi yelling: "Yu~~ki!!! Yu~~~~ki! Why are you so cold to me?! Yuuuuuukiiiiiii!!!!!"
Yuki-sama: Damre! Urusai!
Naomi: Wait a minute! What ML this is?! Go away you two!!!!! *shooes them away*
Shuichi-kun: Yuuuuuuuukiiiiiiii!!!!!
Crying to the Walls Part 1
"Are you going to be home for dinner?"
A sigh was heard from the other side of the line. "I dunno. Une's got us pretty busy here, and I promised Shelly I help her with the computer system, so I might be late."
"Oh, I see..." Was the sad reply. The speaker took a deep breath before speaking again, his voice swaying. "I cooked for you..."
"I'll try to make it, but I can't promise you anything."
"It's okay. I understand..."
"Yeah. I have to go, so I'll see ya."
"Okay. Bye. I lo---"
The line was terminated, the speaker cut out in mid-sentence. He kept holding the receiver in his hand, his arm frozen in its place. He continued standing there, his body numb, his dull blue eyes looking down at the phone. His gaze was numb and painful, cobalt blue eyes shimmering in the dark apartment, reflecting fear, worry and distress.
"Duo..."
The lonely whisper echoed throughout the dark and empty space and went on unheard.
Slowly, the young man put the receiver back into place, his movements stiff and numb. He sighed sadly, looking down at the silent telephone, a wretched look on his face.
A loud DING! suddenly rang from the direction of the kitchen, and Heero looked up, a bit startled. It took him a while to realize that it was the oven that had made the loud noise, announcing that it was done. He turned his gaze to look at the white oven, his expression turning even more miserable than before.
He slowly walked into the kitchen, which was joined to the small and dark living room. It was a small apartment, but it suited his and Duo's needs just fine. When the war ended, both boys decided to move in together. It was the most logical thing to do, since both of them worked in the Preventers Headquarters in the large city. Living together helped with the rent, and eased the loneliness.
In time, both ex-pilots grew closer to each other and only four months after they moved in together, they crossed the line between good friends and lovers. The months to follow that decision were heavenly, and sometimes seemed to Heero like a dream or fantasy. He had never felt so happy and content in his life. Duo was everything to him, the very air he breathed. He tried to give Duo everything as well. He had opened up to him, he had learned how to live for him. Only for him. Duo had taught him so much, had shown him a whole new world that still seemed alien to him. Love, care and affection, he was never used to it. He never knew anything but hurt and abuse in his life. Life with Duo had changed all that.
Until now.
Heero sighed deeply as he opened to oven to check on the pie he had mad. He poked it a little and then closed the oven again, sighing in deep sadness.
Duo won't be back for dinner, so why should he even bother?
Walking heavily towards the stove, Heero put some water in a pot and began to make the sauce that will go over the pie. He knew he shouldn't bother himself, but he had nothing better to do. He had no work; he had left everything in the office. He wanted to go home without any paperwork to bother him, and make Duo some dinner. He always cooked on Friday nights. Usually, Duo and he didn't have time to eat at home, because they had so much work to do, but on weekends, they always sat down and ate together. It was their little Friday night ritual, and Heero had always cherished it. He cherished any ordinary thing Duo and he shared.
Hell, he had even learned how to cook in order to keep up with this ritual. He wasn't so good at first (1), but he bought some books and memorized the recipes. After a while, he began making up his own, adding his own 'touch' to the cooking. Duo loved it, and he was happy to see his lover content.
But as time went by, Duo had stopped coming home for dinner. He would stay long hours in the office, coming back when his meal was long tasteless and cold. Heero would wait for him by the dinner table for hours and hours, but the braided boy never came in time and Heero would go to bed, despondent.
Today, he decided to wait until Duo would come. He didn't care how long it would take, but he will wait for him and he will confront him about his behavior.
The water in the small pot boiled, and time flew by.
* * *
Four hours later, the front door opened, pouring some light into the dark and silent apartment.
Duo closed the door behind him and proceeded in taking his jacket off, hanging it on a hanger by the door. He rubbed his neck tiredly, his eyes closed. He sighed heavily.
"Duo."
Dark violet eyes snapped open at the sound of the quiet voice. Duo sighed again, and slowly put his arm down. He turned, looking up at Heero with cold eyes.
At the sight of Duo's eyes, Heero's doubts and fears doubled. He continued standing still for a few long moments, his blue eyes shimmering with doubt. He was holding his left wrist, slowly rubbing it up and down.
"Heero." Duo finally broke the silence, still glaring at the other boy.
"I... I waited for you." Heero stammered the obvious, his voice trembling.
"You shouldn't have. I told you I'd be late." Duo snarled and brushed past him, making his way to the hall.
"Your food is cold." Heero continued quietly, his head bowed and his back facing the other boy. "I cooked for you, it's your favorite."
"Thanks, but I'm not hungry." Duo stopped in his tracks, fists clenched. Now both boys were facing back to back.
"Did you eat?" Heero asked, slowly turning around to look at his lover.
"No." He grounded between his teeth.
"I can warm it up for you." Heero offered warily.
"I said I'm not hungry." Duo growled and stalked the rest of the way, storming into the bathroom.
Heero stood there, blue eyes wide and shimmering with unshed tears. He kept watching the bathroom's door long after he heard the water being turned on. His hands fell lifelessly to his side, his mouth slightly open in shock. He sniffled and bowed his head sadly.
"It was your favorite..."
* * *
Silent murmurs filled the apartment, along with the soft flickering of the television. The flicking went on and off, along with the voices, as channels were switched quickly.
"Duo?" Heero's voice was quiet and wary as he called his lover's name. He was standing in the hallway's entrance, facing the dark living room. The only light that illuminated the place was the pale moonlight and the flickering of the television set. Duo was sitting slouched on the couch, clad in a ragged t-shirt and boxers, the remote in his hand.
"Duo?" Heero tried again, taking a step closer.
The braided boy didn't even bother to look away from the television.
"It's late." Heero continued carefully, taking a step closer. He swallowed. "Are you... are you gonna come to bed?"
"Not now."
Heero cast his gaze down sadly. "It's Friday." He commented gently, slightly blushing. "Don't you want to come to bed with me?"
"I'm busy."
Heero flinched at his cold tone. He bowed his head sorrowfully, his fingers fidgeting, playing with the loose fabric of his shirt. He too was wearing nothing but a pair of pale and silky boxers and a white, loose, tank top.
He swallowed hard, and then looked up, insecurity in his eyes. "It's been a long while since we... since we made love."
At that, Duo's bored eyes left the screen, and he looked up at Heero, glaring. "Made love?"
Heero bowed his head again, still blushing. "H--hai."
"Chk!" Duo suddenly snorted, looking away. He began flipping channels quickly, glaring at the screen, his mouth forming a thin line.
"Duo?" Heero called, confused.
"It's not making love, Heero. It's called sex."
Heero winced, his head jerking up, eyes wide and hurtful. "But you... you said... when we... you said that it's diff-- that it's different."
"With you, Heero, it was always just sex."
Again the Japanese boy winced, his ocean blue eyes welling with tears. His legs were trembling, threatening to give way. Blood rushed up to his face, making it hot and red with shame, horror and sorrow.
"Wh--why do you... why are you saying that? Duo... Tell me... why? What did I do wrong?" He whispered, voice choked on tears.
The television went suddenly black, and Duo turned his cold gaze at Heero. "You did nothing wrong, Heero. But you shouldn't have expected a 'forever'. There's no such thing as 'forever'."
"Wha... what d--d--do you mean..?" Heero stammered, tears sliding down his firing cheeks. He staggered back, the pain in his heart nearly overwhelming, as he watched Duo get up form his seat.
The braided boy came to stand right in front of Heero, looking down at him with a hard gaze. "We're only nineteen, Heero. We got our whole lives ahead of us. We need to go out, experience, live, see and feel. You didn't think that this would last forever, now did you?"
Heero swallowed, looking up into those hurting violet eyes, his own eyes flooded with tears. His lower lip was trembling in the effort of keeping down the sobs, but he was fighting a loosing battle.
"I don't want anything else!" He sobbed, hands clutching Duo's shirt. "Please! Duo! Why don't you want me?"
Duo's hands came to rest on Heero's palms, and the sobbing boy flinched, head snapping up. He looked up at his lover, face pleading. "Duo..."
Slowly, the American pried Heero's trembling hands off of him, releasing them and letting them drop limply down. He looked down into those tearful cobalt eyes, his own gaze hard and cold.
"I think we should start seeing other people."
Heero's eyes widened in pain.
"I think it would be good for us to break up for a while."
TBC...
(1) Ch! People always write that Heero is a good cook, a good housewife and all. I don’t see how he could be… And I’m sick of people saying it, so here- he sucked! He sucked and he had to learn that skill as well! Ha! Take that!