The Circus Part 3
"What do you suppose his name is?"
Catherine glanced at me from where she was cooking a pot of ramen on the hotplate that served as her kitchen. I was lying on the couch on my back, staring up at the ceiling in contemplative silence. Still, I could see her out of the corner of my eyes and I could see her frown. I know I shouldn't have asked her but it was only a week after I'd helped the boy back to the trailer and I just couldn't get him out of my head.
"Trowa, you know what I said the first day."
I nodded in response, but don't give her any sign that I've retracted my question.
She sighed and set down the long wooden spoon she was using to stir the noodles. "Trowa, listen. What I said was serious. We aren't supposed to talk about him."
I didn't respond and she sighed once more.
"I don't know his name," she said softly a moment later as she went back to stirring. "All I know is that he's been here almost as long as me. I started seeing him about a month after I joined."
I sat up on the couch and looked at her for a moment, then walked to the doorway and paused to slip on my shoes.
"Trowa? Where are you going?"
"Out for a walk. I'll be back later." Without giving her a chance to protest I stepped out of the trailer, making sure the door clicked shut behind me. For a moment I just stood there on the small wooden set of steps leading up to Catherine's trailer, which had become my home here at the circus. Glancing up I found the night sky clear and speckled with many stars, and yet only a sliver of the moon was visible. The night breeze shifted through the trees like the whisper of a mother to the ear of a sleeping child. The night was calm and peaceful, perfect.
Stepping away from the trailers I aimed my steps in the direction of the main tents, which now stood high in the darkness like silent sentinels watching over the entire troupe. Silently I walked, with my hands shoved into the pockets of my jeans, just enjoying the stillness of the night. The entire troupe was asleep by now, or at least siting in their trailers doing their own things. Popcorn boxes and cotton candy sticks littered the ground around the tents from the last show and I ignored them for the time being, knowing it would be my job to pick them up in the morning. I didn't really mind taking care of the animals and cleaning, it was the kind of job I preferred. A small job that no one really noticed, enabling me to blend into the background and not be noticed as well. Given the choice of shadows or light I chose shadows, but not because I liked the dark. It was mostly because that's where I fit in the best.
I stopped near the main tent and leaned against one of the many thick metal poles, just leaning back and watching the sky. Closing my eyes I savored the feel of the wind moving across my face and blowing my long bangs across my cheeks.
"You."
I opened my eyes and turned my head at the voice; surprised I hadn't heard the person approaching. The one standing next to me wore a dark black cloak which succeeded in shadowing his entire figure, yet I'd remember that voice anywhere. I smiled lightly at him and nodded in greeting as the boy pulled the hood back.
I felt my breath catch in my throat as I beheld his beauty in the dim moon and star light. I had thought he glowed with his own light before but now, as he stood under the night sky, I could practically see what appeared to be a golden aura just wafting off his body to the space around him. His short golden locks gleamed like they were made of stardust while his eyes shimmered like blueish-green embers. I forced myself to swallow and keep breathing.
He looked away from me sheepishly but smiled. "I wanted to thank you… for what you did that day."
I nodded dumbly, not quite trusting my voice yet.
He glanced back at me and met my eyes. "Why did you help me?"
"Why not? I had no reason not to." In my mind I could still see the hurt in his eyes from when I'd responded to that question before, when I had mentioned his beauty. I thought it best not to mention that point again.
"It wasn't just because…" he looked away. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
He looked at me again and smiled, his eyes shining once more. "I also wanted to ask your name. I know the others from what he says, but not you. He doesn't talk about you."
I didn't have to ask to understand that the 'he' the boy was referring to was the manager. The way he spoke of the manager reminded me of the sight of the man's hand on his wrist, yanking him into the trailer and out of sight. I wanted to ask but it wasn't my business and I knew I shouldn't intrude. "Trowa," I responded instead. "Trowa Barton."
"Trowa," he repeated the name quietly and seemed to play with it, as if it were a word that meant more then a simple name. "Thank you again, Trowa."
"No need."
He shook his head. "No, let me finish. I wanted to thank you and learn your name. But… but you can't do that again. If he were to find out we would both be in trouble, and you most of all. The last person who spoke to me disappeared, I'm serious. You can't do that again. Next time you see me don't say anything and just pretend I'm not there. Its better for both of us that way."
I frowned.
He didn't wait for my answer, but instead pulled his hood back into place and headed back for the manager's trailer. I stepped after him and caught his shoulder, causing him to pause.
"Despite what you say I will help you if the need rises again."
He sighed heavily and I felt his shoulders sag slightly in defeat. "You don't know what you're getting into."
"I don't care," I said softly. The strange thing was that until I said those words I didn't know that was the truth. The truth was I didn't care about the manager, I just felt this overwhelming need to help the boy, no matter what was going on in that trailer and behind the tent flaps that I couldn't see. Something about him said he needed help, and I couldn't bring myself to ignore that.
He turned slightly and the starlight shone into his hood just enough to illuminate a single eye. "I can't change your mind?"
I shook my head, no.
"Then, please, be careful," his voice came out as a frightened whisper but I would not step down.
"I will."
He smiled briefly and turned away once again, heading back toward the trailers.
"Wait… what is your name?"
The boy stopped abruptly and turned to face me with wide eyes. He looked surprised that I would ask such a question and I had to wonder once again, was he so unused to people acting like this? Did so many only care about his looks and not his name or who he was? Was he truly that lonely?
"My name?"
I nodded. "Please. You know mine. I wish to know yours."
"I will tell you, but you must never speak it."
I nodded my agreement, not bothering to ask why. A friendship like this required a certain amount of trust and I needed to show him I was willing to give that trust. Oddly enough speaking with this boy was much like dealing with animals, he responded to humans much the same way the lions did. Perhaps this boy and I had a lot more in common then we both thought.
"Quatre," he said softly. "But you must never speak it! Swear to me!" His eyes were wide with warning and fear, as if he had already summoned something dangerous by speaking his own name. Someone once said something to the effect of animals having three names, two of those being names that they could never reveal to the human race without threat upon their very lives. Yes, this boy and I did have many things in common.
"I swear."
The fear left his face and relief seemed to wash over his entire body in waves. "Thank you again Trowa. I should get back before he notices I'm gone. Good night."
"Night."
I watched silently as the boy rushed off into the shadows, disappearing into the night despite the soft glow of his skin through the dark cloak. Only after he disappeared did I dare to replay what had just happened over again in my mind.
Quatre. The strange young boy who was kept hidden in the manager's trailer and was only seen when he snuck out under the manager's nose. The strange request to never speak his name and the way his skin glowed… I had to wonder if my initial thoughts of his being an angel weren't actually true. For what other heavenly creature could move as he did and shine like a star fallen from the heavens? And the loneliness in his eyes only served to confirm my suspicions. He had told me his name but I still had to wonder.
Who was he?
TBC…