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I don't entirely trust Faith. She's been known to betray anyone, including herself! And that box she had mailed here worries me a little. I know what she is, I know the hurt and rage her life has taught her... and I just can't afford to trust her.

But we've made our unspoken peace. I feel a lot better now about having her around. Dawn has her wrapped around her finger, and they just might keep each other out of trouble. And Faith really did give the mayor's money to rebuild the high school. I believe that now. Pretty incredible! Xander's got a big job now working on it, Giles will be the new librarian... I might even look for a job there myself if they'll have me. I'd sure like to keep an eye on Dawn when she goes back to the school that tried to kill me for three years!

When Xander and Willow get back with Dawn, Willow goes straight up to her room. I leave Faith and follow.

"Hey, Will... how you handling the magic thing?"

"You mean, finding out I'm a deadly danger to my friends and everyone else on the planet? Not so bad I guess. Wait until I get to England and the coven tells me I'm beyond helping. That's when I'll really get scared."

"I'm sure that won't happen." I give her a little hug. "Tara believes in you. We all do. I say, enjoy the party, and worry about all that end of the world stuff another day." Will gives me a little awkward smile. She gestures downstairs with her head. "So... things are a little less shouty and punchy between the Slayers? All set for some Pin the Tail on the Donkey?"

"No shouty, no punchy. We've promised. And no donkey abuse. Dawn grew out of that a good ten years ago, even if Mom never figured that out."

"Good. I always feel bad for the donkey. It really should be a vampire! And a little stake!"

"Actually I think Giles had me do that once!" But I let my smile fade. We both know what it is that she's carefully not talking about.

She looks down at her feet. "How about between you and us witches? No shouty?"

I sigh. "You really have to go through with it? Your little spell works?" Some gift! Show Dawn the thing about herself she most wants to forget! Will and I have fought about it a couple times... and Tara's been caught in the middle too... but after a while we just stopped discussing it. I got the feeling it was turning out to be harder than they thought. I was kinda hoping they wouldn't be able to pull it off.

"Oh, Buffy, please don't be all mad... It's really really gonna be OK!" She takes something out of Tara's dresser. "Look... it's actually kinda pretty isn't it? I helped Tara make the designs." She holds out a little decorated wood box that must have the spell inside.

I open my mouth to say something, but she knows what it is before I even start. She looks hurt. "OK, Buffy, I know I haven't been 100% under control with the magic thing lately... but this spell is all Tara's handiwork, I've been totally hands-off."

"I know. And I know you love Dawn. I just can't help thinking this is going to hurt her. I know it will..." I try one last time to explain. "Will, I'm not human. Not a normal human, anyway. I'll never stop being the Slayer. Sometimes I wish I could forget what I am, just for one day, one hour... and just feel normal again. And I can't. I never, ever will. But Dawn can. I want that for her! She should be allowed to forget she's different. I wish she'd never found out in the first place. It hurt her so much! You remember what it was like. And then Mom died, and then I died... But I think she's finally putting it behind her and just letting herself believe that she's human. That she's existed for more than just two years! I think Faith even helps her that way. She talks about knowing Faith in Boston, just like it really happened. It's important to her. Willow... shouldn't we just let her have that? Isn't that better then showing her the Key and taking her life away from her again?"

I haven't said anything new, but Willow nods sadly. "I understand, Buffy. And you're right, it's not simple. It's a big decision whether to show her or not. Or tell her the rest of what we've learned. But we've thought a lot about it. We want to do this for her, if she agrees. She'll never really forget she's the Key, you know. Whether we do this or not."

"That doesn't mean we should make her think about it!"

"But what if thinking about it makes her happy? Makes her proud?"

"It doesn't make her proud. We both know that."

"But maybe it would, if she saw. If she saw behind the illusion, and what was there was something beautiful in spite of everything."

"Will... the Key was created to destroy dimensions. You're only talking about what the Key looks like. How great can that possibly be, really? You're basing this whole thing on what Glory said. But Will, she was crazy and obsessed, and–oh yeah, a Hellgod–and she hadn't seen the Key for thousands of years! The Key could look like a dead fish and she'd still have wanted it."

"Not just Glory, Buffy... Even Glory was fooled by the illusion of Dawn–she couldn't see the real Key. Kinda the point of the whole thing! But Tara saw the real Key. She didn't smile a lot after Glory wrecked her brain, but she smiled about that. Remember?"

How could I forget. Tara gave the whole thing away... leading to my death in the end! Not her fault. She was out of her mind. "Will... Tara doesn't even remember what she saw. For all we know, Tara was just in a mood to smile at anything green!"

Willow looks pained. I can tell they're going through with it, and short of throwing her and Tara out of the house on Dawn's birthday, I can't stop it. Willow wants me to be OK with it just as much as I want them to call it off, but we're just not going to agree. And we're talking about Dawnie here. It's too important not to agree!

Willow sets her shoulders, steeling herself to try a new approach. "Buffy, we kinda didn't want to tell you this. 'Cause of the whole thing between you and Faith.... But if you two are getting along now..."

Oh, no. I stare at her intently. What have my friends been hiding? "Didn't want to tell me what?"

"Buffy... there's someone who does remember seeing the Key. Someone not crazy. At least... not anymore. Someone who cares about Dawn and loves her."

"You're telling me that Faith has seen the Key? How?" A little alarm bell goes off in my head.

"Yes she has, Buffy... and she says Dawn is beautiful... beyond beautiful... She's sure Dawn would be happy if she saw herself. And we trust her on that."

"How? How did she see the Key?" I can't explain it... but I'm starting to get a very bad feeling.

Willow winces slightly. "It was from some of the black magic she was doing. The Ascension stuff. One of the spells affected her... let her see, just like Glory's victims could. That's what gave us the whole idea, actually."

"Wait a minute, this is all coming from something that happened when Faith was doing black magic on my sister?!"

"Buffy, she saw what she saw... and she told Dawn how wonderful it was. She just wants Dawn to see that for herself. We all three agree, she deserves that chance! And the chance to show herself to the people she cares about, too. If she wants."

I stare at her. Bad feeling not getting any better! I had no idea Faith's evil spells were behind this plan!

"Besides, Buffy, there are other reasons why Faith has been pushing us to keep at this. We've learned some things about how Dawn was created. Some of them... well, some of them aren't very nice things. We don't have to tell Dawn all of it... But the point is, Faith thinks we should understand as much as we can about the Key, in case someone tries to use it again, or wants to hurt Dawn because of it. That makes kind of a lot of sense, don't you think?"

I absorb this news. "You're telling me Faith has had you two researching the Key for her? Deeper than even Giles and I ever went?"

"It's not like that, Buffy... she only wants to protect Dawnie."

"From what? Glory's dead, and the biggest threat to Dawn since then has been Faith herself and that Box of Gavrok!"

Will looks at me pleadingly. "Water under the bridge, right Buffy? Faith screwed up and she knows it, but her thing with the Box was all to protect Dawn too, in a way... I thought we were all way past that!"

I put my head in my hands. Oh, god. I need to think. Something is very wrong here. Spider sense tingling big time.

Willow stands up. "Buffy, I don't think you're going to understand this. Not until it's done and Dawn can tell you herself how she feels. But I promise you, we won't just spring it on her. We'll explain it, and it will be her choice if she wants to see or not. OK? Her choice if she wants to know anything else we've found out, too. And you don't have to worry about the magic: we were afraid you'd be like this, so we went to Giles."

"Giles?"

"Last night, Tara showed Giles everything that went into the spell. He agrees it's harmless. Magic for showing, not for doing. You know he wouldn't give his approval for something like this, unless he was sure. So it really is going to be OK, Buffy. And maybe Dawn won't want to use the spell anyway. It can keep until she's ready. We got her another gift too, just in case. So please, Buffy, please try to be cool with this!"

"Oh, Will... I know you guys mean well. It's just..." I try to put the sense of foreboding I have into words, but I can't.

"We know you mean well too." She hugs me and turns to leave.

"Giles is really convinced?" Making Dawn feel bad is one thing... but if there's a chance this magic can do any lasting harm, than I really will have to step in and make a scene.

"Yeah. Ask him. Faith even told him about how beautiful the Key is. It must have made quite in impression on her."

"Faith is the one who got Giles to support your little project."

"That's not exactly what I said, Buffy. You're getting a little weird all of a sudden. Come on... let's play games and get sick on cake!"

I nod. "Good plan." But my mind is racing, and Dawn's birthday is the last thing I'm thinking about. I feel like there's a big puzzle, and I'm in the middle of it, and if I saw it all... I'd realize we're all in big trouble. Bigger than Will's magic attacking Dawn and I in a big hole in the ground!

"Will..." I mutter, a new question forming in mind. "You never really explained... why did your little magic earthquake attack Dawn? It could have happened anywhere."

Willow looks so sad and guilty. "I don't think it did, Buffy... I think it came after you. Because I took you out of the Earth. That's what the book was about... the cycle of life... Earth to Earth. I don't dare quote it... but ask Faith if you want the details." Tara calls from downstairs, and Willow hurries away.

"Faith knows the details?" I call after her.

She answers over her shoulder. "She's the only one who was with me when the accident happened."

I feel a chill down my spine.

I wonder... I wonder if that earthquake was really all Will's fault... or if something much worse is going on. I don't want to think it... but I can't afford not to.

How did we start letting Faith back into your lives? It seems like one day we were hunting her down, and the next day everyone was her best friend. And that all started when Willow and Tara took Faith upstairs alone to do magic on her and see if Faith was really done with the Rites of Ascension. Willow and Tara went upstairs to protect Dawn from Faith... and they came back down telling me that Faith loves Dawn. They got me to back away and give Faith a chance.

Shit. I have to ask myself now... who really did magic on who, when they were alone up there? Are Willow and Tara really acting of their own free will? There's far too much that Faith has persuaded them to do. She made them her first allies... then she had them taking stuff in secret between her and Dawn. What stuff? Maybe the odd spell or cursed whatsit? And after I was finally convinced that Faith wasn't doing magic about the Key... I find out just the opposite. She saw the Key... and she's had Willow and Tara in the books for weeks making even more magic for the Key.

And who's the biggest threat to Faith after me? Giles. Who she's been spending nearly every day with for weeks, doing just as she's told and being a good little Slayer. I thought it was odd when Giles told me how quickly Faith agreed to stop taking reckless risks on patrol. But I'm betting she does everything he tells her. Or pretends to. Lets him be the Watcher he wants to be, that I supposedly don't need anymore.

She's got everyone on her side... and I'm the bitch. If she is up to something evil, she's got me right where she wants me. I can't do a damn thing, because all my friends will believe her and not me!

And now there's this mysterious package. She admits it's something she sent for before she turned herself over to us and gave up the Box of Gavrok. Who knows what the Mayor might have given her. She acts like its just some little gift or something... but she seemed awfully set on it getting here by Dawn's birthday! Why? Maybe because she's planned something all along, and that package is the final piece of some evil scheme? Maybe because today of all days is the day I cannot turn against her? She's more than clever enough to plan this whole thing.

Or maybe there's an even deeper reason why she needed that package today. Because today is the day Dawn will receive Will and Tara's spell.

I can see it clearly now. Everything Faith has done has carefully led up to this moment: she's been invited into our house on friendly terms that I can't change in front of Dawn... with some heavy duty magic she's requested from Tara, and a package from her evil days.

There are so many little things that seemed innocent at first... and now they don't seem so innocent. I knew it was out of character for Faith to just give up a fortune. But maybe she did. Maybe she did pay for a new Sunnydale High to be built. Maybe she wants a school over the Hellmouth again! A school that Dawn will go to!

I wish I could just throw Faith out right now... but Faith knows as well as I do that Dawn wouldn't forgive me for that. So all I can do is watch and be ready... for some evil I can't even name yet.

I feel so tired again. I want Mom back! I want to be back in Heaven. I want to believe that Faith is good.

I guess I wanted that a little too much. Things are so much simpler if Faith is on my side. Giles is right about that. I think a part of me has wanted to give up my suspicion for a long, long time. But the truth isn't always what's easy. It isn't always what we wish for. All my instincts and all the facts tell me Faith is up to something terrible. And I can't help but remember her first visit to Sunnydale. She was working for the Mayor, and for a while, not one of us had a clue. She's that good at hiding her true self.

It felt so good downstairs, to finally think that Faith might be a help and not a threat. It was a nice world to live in... for a moment.

And now I have to be ready to do something terrible, for Dawn's sake–even if she never forgives me. The moment I know what Faith is up to, I have to be ready to stop her. Any way I can. Until then, I have to play nice and keep Faith off her guard. Make her think she has me fooled.

Poor, poor Dawnie. What is Faith planning to do to you? I can't think of a more terrible way to twist the birthday my sister has been looking forward to so much.

Or... maybe I can.

I swallow, feeling cold inside, and pick up the phone. There's one more reason why Faith's plan would come together on this day.

Come on, answer the phone! There.

"Giles?"

"I'm just on my way–sorry to be so late–Anya's decided to come after all. Faith talked her into it. The more the merrier!"

Oh, great. Faith wants a vengeance demon on hand. But I'm wondering now about something even worse. "Giles... I have to ask you something..."

My tone alarms him. "Buffy? What's wrong?"

"Giles... does age sixteen have magical significance?"

"Well... yes... I suppose it can. I wouldn't worry about Dawn, though, people turn sixteen in Sunnydale all the time. There's really nothing to be concerned about."

"Giles... what kind of magical significance?"

"Well, various ages are important to certain belief systems... sixteen years has long represented a transition to adulthood. There are countless rites and sacrifices that center around the sixteenth birthday. Many of them harmless. Really, Buffy, I think you can safely put aside the slaying for a day and just have fun."

"Sacrifices? Sacrifices of sixteen-year-old girls?"

"It does happen... virginity is important for certain types of magic, and the sacrifice of a virgin is often–"

I click the phone off, filled with dread. I'm very much afraid that blood will be spilled today.

Isn't it interesting that Faith, slut extraordinaire, has been so careful about keeping Dawn a virgin?

 

~ Continue to Episode 21 – A New Wish ~

 

If you enjoyed this story, try CV. Buffy agrees to a meeting with someone from her past. It's not what she expected. (Faith/Buffy. Faith and Dawn have a very different relationship in that story.)

I always appreciate feedback in my Guestbook, or by email. Reader responses will determine whether I publish more stories, and will help improve them! Thanks for reading! (If you'd like to be notified when I post new stories, let me know.)

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