2) When he asks you about your family shake your head softly, look down and tell him they're all dead. When he asks how, look up with cold eyes and without emotion say, "Paper cuts."
3) When your cocktails arrive, pull out a flask and spike the drinks with some extra liquor, and exclaim, "Lets get this party started!"
4) Speak in the royal 'we' when referring to yourself and the lord. ex: The mere idea of premarital intimacy is appalling to us.
5) At the start of your meal, lean across the table and cut his entree into bite size pieces. Say, "Now be a good boy and make this food go bye-bye."
6) Pull out some headphones midway through the evening and announce its time for your nightly lesson from the 'Teach Yourself German' tape series.
7) Ask him to refer to you as mommy.
8) Tell him you just got over a messy break-up and you can't imagine going through it again. When he asks how long it lasted, tell him you were talking about Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.
9) If he asks you back to his place say you really need to go home and feed your 15 cats. Then name all 15.
10) In the days following your date forward him a minimum of 6 inspirational mass emails. Make sure the subject lines read "Re: Touching Love Story", and "Re: Split Pea Soup for the Codependent Soul."