A Tale of Two Faires

Once upon a time there was a happy little fairy, and her name was the Logic Fairy. Then there was another little fairy named the Grammar Fairy. They helped people recognize their minor mistakes in Logic and Grammar and made everyone happy, especially sleep deprived college students facing finals.

One day the big bad stupid bigot came along and posted some long rants on the internet.

"NO!" the Grammar Fairy yelped in pain. "Didn't anyone ever teach you about comma usage? Moreover, "what's up" with "quoting" anything you disagree with? Just because "gays", "liberals", "Jews", "blacks", and "alternative lifestyle freaks" don't agree with you, doesn’t mean the improper nouns need to be in quotation marks EVERY SINGLE TIME you mention them! That's way too many needless quotation marks in a row! It is ugly and hard to read! You could just bold it, or leave it alone. For the love of all that is good,

knock it off!

And then the Big Stupid Bigot whacked the nice Grammar Fairy with a big fat

QUOTATION MARK MALLET.

She sat on his desk whimpering about italics.

"Hey!" the Logic Fairy cried. She got a migraine in her little pointy-eared head just from reading the Pooly Written Convoluted Diatribe. "You're arguments make no sense! You're running around in circles and half the people you're talking to aren't even interested in the one supporting argument you've got!"

Then the Big Stupid Bigot brought out a heavy leather-bound book with The Idiot's Bible in gold letters across the front, and BLAM! Smashed the poor Logic Fairy flat with it. We forgot to mention that this is a Big Stupid Bible-Thumping Bigot, but I did tell you that the Logic Fairy got squished, and she used to help me with that sort of thing. I'm pretty sure there should be a question mark at the end of that last sentence, but the Grammar Fairy is still pretty dazed about that quotation mark thing, and she keeps muttering something about bolding the text whenever I ask her a question, and I wonder if this is a run-on sentance but there isnt anyone to ask.

So now, there are lots more Big Stupid Bible-Thumping Bigots reading the crap that the first one posted, and there is nothing our poor fairy friends can do, with the bad grammar or with the faulty logic.

Too bad. The world will miss the Grammar and Logic Fairies, especially those sleep deprived college kids. Unfortunately, the big stupid bigot didn't seem to know they were there even as he squished them flat.

The End.

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