Wednesday, January 14, 2004
I've been contemplating an assignation with a fellow I know around where I hang out from time to time (The place I go with LaLinda all the damn time).
He's a lush(aren't they all), but cute. And I'm kinda sorta lookin' for it (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). He made a point of coming up to me when I was standing near the jukebox to make his play in an almost charming way. His hands in his pockets looking unsure. He remembered my name, but I didn't remember his.
Mind you, it wasn't all "An Affair to Remember". He is a lush after all. And he's got this thing about hair cutting (a fetish or just a method of coming on?). And I'm not interested in shitting where I eat, so to speak. I made the mistake some time ago of lightly playing around with a dude that knows and hangs out in LaLinda's bar (where I almost never go) and the gossip started the very next day. I have to admit, when LaLinda reported back to me, I was embarrased though I put a brave face on it in front of the crew there.
My main thing? That I can't believe people can't be adults and/or discreet.
Not because there's anything wrong with sex or having a good time. But just because one's sex life should be more than a high school game played by adults way past 21.
The point being that I've not had it off in any way with anybody from the bar I hang out in from time to time, and perhaps I should keep it that way.
And anyway, setting up an assignation (and trust me, I'm putting a good face on 'sleazy overnighter' using that term)with someone I don't really know or trust seems like a bad idea anyway. And in no small part because with someone I barely know, there's no excitement of realizing the pleasure coming from knowing the person is someone you value and respect. The thrill of good sex with a good friend as opposed to quick sex with a quickly made acquaintance.
An affair as opposed to a one-night stand.
I can't help myself, it's just what I'm feeling.
Maybe I should just give up drinking and smoking too, and just go all straight-edge.
Yeah, like that'll happen.
Note: I'm wondering at what point I'll decide that this experiment in honesty will one day end with regret. Oh well, fuck it. It's not like I was going into politics anyway. And I'm perfectly capable of putting a hurting on any potential weirdos, so no worries.
My new job (I think I can call it that though I've not received an official offer letter but only verbal and written confirmation) is looking interesting. I'm supposed to be transitioned by the guy leaving the post, so it'll be interesting to see what kind of datasets they're working with. The project to be consume most of my time should be pretty straight forward. I've got some ideas as it seems like it will overlap with a report Hull House put out. A report that I'm using as a starting point for my own projects, as it turns out. I'm hoping for some overlap in interests between the report the I'm to work on and my own research.
I mean, hell, why shouldn't I get more bang for their buck? They low-balled anyway, so I'm going to have to do a LOT of copying and stealing of printing paper to make up for it.
But all kidding aside, it's a great opportunity and way above what I would have expected at this point in my career. The fact that they turned down Phds from U of C, Cornell, Rutgers, and other great programs for me is a big feather in my cap.
Yes, I am tooting my own horn a bit.
Of course, it could all go south until the final sign-off, so even though I've told everybody, I'm still worried a bit.
Silly perhaps, but the nature of the beast.
Funny thing. I was going to post this in LiveJournal, and then thought better of it. I don't think I'm willing to be this honest with a bunch of people trolling for amusement.
I do it too, but that doesn't mean I want to go this deep there.
Not that here is any less in the open. It just feels better here.

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