Thursday, August 29, 2002
Welll, gotta go register tomorrow. What a drag.
Talk to some bastard advisor about what I already know I want to do in the first place.
I feel like shit mentally. Really tore up.
But at least I have my battle plan in place for the next year or so. It had a lot of variables not in my control and it is very specific to my academic interests and excludes other aspects of my life.
I really don't want to lose my perspective. My life is about the pursuit of pleasure. I get pleasure from knowledge and the useful exercise of it. But if it becomes all-consuming then it is no longer a pleasure but a duty or worse a diversion from life. I've been without a real job for a year now. On an ego level it's a drag because you want to feel that you're doing something. But from another perspective it hasn't been so bad. I've really had a chance to look over my shit and give a go at correcting some of it.
The biggest thing for me is that I'm learning distance. Not the kind that keeps me unconnected from other people or my life. But kind that allows me to think before I act.
I talked to English Rose yesterday. She's well and her husband's well and her dog's are well. They've been winning shows left and right and she's going to adopt a new puppie to add to her growing family. I miss having her here in town. But I'll probably go over and visit them again in a couple of months.
It's funny, when she and I were running around, having fun, being groupies, we both knew we were destined to marry English musicians. So where the hell is mine?
I'm listening to "Layla". "Littlle Wing" is playing, the guitar breaks make my asshole twitch in the same way as when I'm making out with a guy I really dig.
(It may be graphic, but it happens to be the truth)
I'm shirking all responsibility today. No studying, no cleaning, no nothing. It's all about tomorrow, manana, which will be busy as a motherfucker.
Oh yeah, I went to a big sale at the Public Library last Sat. 50 cent cds, lps and videocassettes $1. I got there bright and early and it was a madhouse. The pushiest damn Chicagoans all in one room. I scored 28 cds and a videocassette of "Wings", the 20s silent movie that I've wanted to see for ages. The funny thing is, I could have been stealing left and right and they wouldn't have cared. But it's all about supporting the library and I gladly gave the my money 'cos I love them so much.
And I love my supercheap cds even more!
I'm selling some but keeping the bulk of them. I kinda wish I'd been pushier and scored the boxloads most of those people where getting, but I'm not greedy and it was too warm and I hate touching other people so the thought of all that flesh against mine as I bellied my way to a box is not my idea of a good time.
Monday, August 26, 2002
Back in business.
Got a new PC (yehh!), got everything working again(yehh!),I can now get back to web addiction as usual(woohoo!).