Getting Help.

Ok... so you want some help in dealing with all this? The hardest thing most people go through is actually plucking up the courage to tell someone about their self harm. I personally hid mine for 4/5 years before telling anyone, and i was terrified when my parents found out. However, it is more than likely that if the person you are telling is a family member or close friend they already know that something is wrong... they just don't know what exactly.

I know it's a cliche but YOU are the only person who can help you. This doesn't mean that you have to go through it alone, you need people to help you and to be there, but you have to really want and be ready to change before anything is going to get better. "A problem shared is a problem halved"

When my parents and friends found out about my self harm, apart from being scared of what they were going to say my main feeling was of relief. It was like this huge load had been lifted from me... no more wearing long sleeves all summer, no constant worrying that someone was going to see, no being terrified in case i had to bare my arms for some unknown reason. I really can't stress this enough- Tell Someone! Parents are pretty scary things sometimes, but in the majority of cases all they want to do is see you happy, yeah they will probably be upset, they may not know how to react but when it comes down to it they will be there for you. If you can't tell a parent then how about a close friend? or your GP?
The next step is making an appointment with your GP. If you are worried about talking to them then get someone you trust to come along with you.
Your doctor will probably want to hear about how you are feeling, if there are any specific reasons why you self harm and things like this. They will then ask you if you want a referral to a psychiatrist and they may want to prescribe you medication. You may also get offered some/all of the following: counselling, appointment with the CPN (community psychiatric nurse), appointment with a psychologist, information about local self help groups.
Seeing a Psychiatrist: The first appointment will be daunting to say the least. It's really a get-to-know-you session. The psychiatrist will ask a lot of questions about your home life, your childhood, friends, family, school, work, your moods and feelings.... the more they know about you the easier it is for them to see how to help you. If there are questions that you are uncomfortable with, or things that you don't feel ready to talk about then DON'T! They won't force you to tell them... they want to help you.

What If?

• My parents don't understand?
  Most people you talk to about self harm won't "understand"... The most you can expect from them is that they try and see what it is that is making you feel how you do, and why you are harming yourself; and that they are there to support you and be there for you when you need them.

• My doctor doesn't believe me?
  They will. Your doctor has absolutely no reason not to believe what you are telling them. You don't have to have a reason for being depressed, or for self harming. Their job is to help you with what you are going through, not to judge whether or not you deserve help. Remember, these people WANT to help you.. thats why they chose to become doctors!

• My doctor won't help me?
  See a different GP. If you want to be referred to a psychiatrist ASK. By law your GP has to give you a referral if you have asked for one. If you don't get on with your doctor see if you can see another one at your surgery.

• I can't talk to the psychiatrist!:
  All I can say is that it takes time. No-one expects you to go in there and feel totally at ease and chat away non-stop. The more you talk though, the easier it will become

• I don't want to take any medication?
  You don't HAVE to go on meds. The reason they are prescribed is to make your life easier to cope with while you are figuring out exactly what it is that is making you unhappy. You won't be dependent on anti-depressants forever. As I said before, ad's aren't compulsory but they probably help.

• My medication doesn't work?
  The majority of anti-depressants take a few weeks to kick in. Don't be surprised if you don't start to feel better straight away. It is also pretty much trial and error finding the drugs that work for you. You may have to go through several different kinds before you find one that suits you. Make sure you discuss your medication with your GP or psychiatrist so that you get the best possible results.

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