something wierd morgan sent me... i changed the 'you' things to 'morgan' to create less confusion. Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Morgan is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of hers, Tara. So everyone please put your hands together for Morgan! Jerry: Okay, now Morgan you're here to talk about someone aren't you? Morgan: Yes. Jerry: And what is this persons name? Morgan: Dave. The crowd SQUEALS with delight. Jerry: Okay, okay, well Dave, is actually here tonight - The crowd SQUEALS. Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Morgan, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Sean! Morgan: What the HELL!!! Out of nowhere you pull out a Shotgun. Sean reaches for the Chair. Out of the shadows Dane appears. Dane: Wait everybody wait! Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Sean. Sean: Because I saw Morgan and Dane making out at BRCI! The crowd goes absolutely INSANE. Dane: That's a lie! I was home watching Friends! Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Sean? Sean: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Tara who has recently become engaged to Dane. The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement. Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Tara out here because Morgan had something that she needed to tell them anyway about... Dave that's right! Tara: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Dave! You know I'm how I feel about Dave!. Dane: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Dave! Tara: Because I knew that I could never have Dave. But Morgan promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings! Dane: What about respect for MY feelings! Sean walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Tara. Sean: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me. Again the crowd SQUEALS. Dane: Oh my God! Are you SICK! Dane runs across the room and wraps his arms around Morgan tightly. Dane: Morgan take me away from all of this! Morgan: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married... The crowd does its bit. Dane: Married? Morgan nods. Dane: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand! Morgan: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Dave. Tara: (screaming) WHAT!!! Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night? Dave: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 8 times if that's what you mean. The crowd squeals. Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Morgan is married to Dave who Tara has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Tara has recently become engaged to Dane who was recently spotted kissing Morgan in the BRCI. Now on top of this Sean has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Tara. Dave: That's right Jerry. Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight. Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
