The Nature of Pain: Don't need to be Buddhist

pain from desire. 4 Noble Truths
hatred is a mask, to cover insercity, ignorance and fear. (which causes pain)
if you hate something you do so for it doesnt cause you pain "right away". You cant hate something forever. Someone hurts you, so you hate them, but that does nothing good in the long run. Especially if based on a mistake, somethng that didnt really happen. Also if you forgive them, it helps to be able to deal with the pain. Forgiveness is the best med. Forgiveness is the only way to move on. Ppl dont care if you hate them, you hold onto that hate thinking it will effect that person. They dont care/might not even know. The same with being angry. They dont care. If you hold onto angry, in the end you're the one who gets burned. Its like holding hot coal. You will release that coal at some point so that it no longer scoches you. That same with angry and hate. Why not start now? You're not acompleshing anything other wise. Hate holds you to whom you hate, if yo dislike them and dont want to be held to them, dont hate but forgive instead so you can move on. Revenge will also burn you. Things are worse for the "avenger" than the person your taking the revenge on. That emotion will "control" you. YOu will never be happy, you will keep trying different things over and over again to be satified, but in reality that will never happen. You will never be satified. Besides the best revenge is living well.

Desire for money, is really bad. Money cant buy happiness. Some ppl would try to disagree,but really think about it. You go and buy you're favorite movie. The "wanting" it and not having it caused you pain. The finaly momnet that you have it you're happy but after a well you'll you're tire of it. You will no longer be as happy with it 2 yrs down the road like you were when you held it in your possession for the first time. Soon you'll desire something else and the cycle continues but can be broken, but only by you. You can have desires but dont let them control you (good ones)

When going through a hard time find things to do to keep yourself busy. If all you do is sit around, that gives you too much time to think.Yes, thinking can be good but its not good to dwell.

Pride is another form of ignorance which leads to pain. Pride is the feeling of doing better than another person. Thats egocentric, which the ego leads us down the wrong road, the road of pain and problems. Self-esteem is not pride. Self-esteem is feeling good that you tried the best you could and is content with that. Sometimes you surprise yourself and the results are better than exspected but "never" better than someone else.

You cant depend on the love of another in the in love sense because you need to find the strength on your own.

Another love would help you heal but who knows when that will be. Are you willing to suffer for possible years for another love to come or help yourself right now?

You cant hold in feelings of pain. The only way to be rid of it is to feel it fully, at once spread out within the needed time period. Explore it and the cause of it, and you can do to help you to feel better, something positive. There is no time limit to grieving a loss. YOu will get over the pain faster if you face it. If you try to hide it, it will comsume you and will last years beyound years. You must first empty out your painn before you can fill up with happiness. You cant do both at the same time but do know what its time for you to face your pain. You dont have to right of way.You cant force yourself to and dont expect immediate results. Self-express helps with coping. You must express yourself.