I learned an important lesson today and was able to sucessfully put what I have learned in action. I woke up early beause I was hungry. I ate, and tried to go back to sleep. That didnt happen so I asked Paul to take me to Wal-Mart since I hate shopping by myself. I got what I needed and went home. Mom gave me a 50 to get change from that, 20 for my allowence before we left to the store. I only brought 20 with me and when it came time to pay, the total was 21.90 or so. Paul payed with the 50, I gave him my 20 and I kept the change ($28, mom owned me money). I got home, mom asked for the change and I said that it was mine, she owned me. I gave her the 8 extra dollars because she and paul was complaining about me using gas to give my friends rides, even though I stopped doing so. I told her as I gave her the money that "thats why I dont talk to you". I went to my room and turned on Ozzy. I heard her yelling about something and then she came to my door. She was blaming me once again for her illness and such because of my religion. I got up set. I began to hide stuff fearing that by Monday after school it all would be gone. As I did this I realized that I really didnt need the possions I was hiding afterall, that all I needed to continue my path was myself. I didnt feel any hate or dislike toward her even though I was sure everything (material wise) was going to be taken and thrown away. I knew what she couldnt take away was my belief and faith. I could continue on my path still by soley focusing on inside. At the point, I didnt feel any suffering or pain.She later said that she was sorry and she did it out of frustration. "Only when you can stand up to the test, are your values (teachings learned) truely validated and confirmed."--Earth Dance Drum.

April 22 2005 Friday

I guess all creatures look for a resting place, but I never thought about that of bugs. Today I while was stretching I looked down and saw a spider crawling on the floor. I got on my knees and looked it at (at first I didnt know it was a spider). I blowed on it and it crawled a few steps. I did it again and once again it moved a bit. I counted the legs and verafied it was a spider. I drew away with guiscuss. I used a paper to move it and it flipped on its back but didnt move. I flipped it back and it didnt move. I used the paper to get on it and put it outside. I guess they are like us but since they're small we tend to think of them insigant.