He tears by heart apart but then rebulids it againa nd again. Sometimes I think of him and my heart sings but when I talk to him its a different story. Hes allowed me to see the other side of him, the part that can love but then shuts me out again. Why? I asked once. He didnt answer. I knew I was for desaster but the again...I trust him more than anyone in my life because I trust him with my heart but he doesnt want it. No, of course not when he holds me close at nigh, when he falls alseep in my arms. Of course he doesnt wan tot be with me when he looks deepy into my eyes and lightly touched my face. I am nothing yet he does all this. I shouldnt of let it happen to begin with but I was so weak. Did he see a oppurnity? for? I needed someone after being abanded by the person who fucking promised not to. He saw me in pieces and helped me to put them bak together for him to tear down again. I guess I dont learn from past experiences, but I needed his arms, that ended up piosoning me. My mind, he never leaves, my body, he embasses. Its not fair. I cant seem to break away but I keep catching his scent. With him being taken I know that was wrong but how can I argue with the feeling of being home? Should I...should I see what I can get away with? I speak of a kiss as if its murder.