

| We meet online in a program called
paltalk, I was known as countrybunny_2 and He is still
known as Truckman1954. A friend of His that He had a pc
meaning protection collar on introduced W/we online. She
is a friend of mine, she wanted me to meet her Master,
and the One she thought so highly of and kept bragging
about. I had meet Him a few
times before when he would pop into a room long enough to
say hi my name is truckman1954 and Im a 47 year old
male, divorced from Ontario Canada, and then he would
disappear within a couple of minutes without even saying
goodbye, I thought how rude. Within
moments of meeting him I thought of him to be a complete
jerk, he was in my whisper asking me my name where I was
from and my phone number. So I gave them to him, god only
knows why, I guess because I had thought of him to be a
jerk that he would never call and hell he is in Canada,
whats the odds of him actually coming to Alabama or
me going to Canada, not to mention the fact that he was
20 years older than me. Sure
enough the next week end he called, I almost fell out of
my chair, I was like oh my god he called, we talked for a
bit, me telling him every breath go away, I dont
want/need a man in my life right now, I have to much on
my plate of life, he said well look Im just looking
for friendship right now, not a relationship or a long
term commitment, I was thinking yeah right, so I done
everything I could to push him away, even to the point of
being down right rude a few times, I told him that I was
sub and had been in the lifestyles for 6 years and that I
was seriously thinking of becoming and discovering my
Domme desires. Although I meant it as a defence against
him I was half serious at the same time, but knowing I
lived in He
continued to call and talk with me over the next few
weeks, up till may it was just a every now and then call,
the first week of may my life fell apart, everything I
had ever known was being taken away from me, I slipped
into a quiet deep depression that most never knew about,
I got to the point where I didnt know what was
right and what was wrong, I couldnt remember
things, I couldnt have cared less if the sun came
up in the morning, and I didnt care if I spent all
day in bed hugging my pillow, which 90% of the time that
is where I was, I cancelled all of my appointments and
stayed in bed, scared out of my mind to leave my bedroom,
every time I walked through the living room or any other
part of the house, I would fall apart, there were
memories everywhere I turned, I caught myself walking
into my sons room hugging his pillow curling up in
his bed crying myself to sleep. The pain was to much to
bear, I wanted my life back, no matter what I done, no
matter where I searched I couldnt find the answers
I needed, I was being railroaded by my ex, I felt I had
lost my entire world, most of my friends and family
walked away at that point some scared that I would bring
them bad luck, some just didnt want to deal with
me, some walked away because they didnt know how to
deal with what was going on in my life. Every
professional I had ever known turned their backs on me,
no matter the favours had done for them in the past, no
matter the help that I had given them, every time I did
try and go out anywhere, I heard whispers behind my back,
did you know she is the one that lost her
child, wow she must have been a bad parent to
have lost her child that way did you know the
reason why her son was the way he was is because she was
such a bad parent things along that line, them not
knowing how much pain they were putting me through but
not caring because they were better than me because they
wouldnt take the time to get to know me. So
I quit going anywhere or doing anything out in public, I
stayed at home, slipping deeper into my depression, mind
you I had a councillor at this time, which stood idle by
not helping. A few weeks later after an event that would
forever change my life and put extreme fear into me, I
became suicidal to the point, it consumed my mind, in
return I still remained at home, I had a few friends left
on the net, but mostly closed them off, because I knew
there was no way they would ever believe what was going
on in my life was actually happening, but when He asked
me what was going on, for some reason I told Him, I think
because I thought if I told Him he wouldnt believe
me and He to would leave me alone and let me die,
thats all I wanted, I couldnt see any reason
what so ever for going on, I had lost everything that had
ever been important to me. I
think when I first told Him, He too thought I was lying,
so I gave Him numbers and proof and expressed more times
than one you dont want to get involved with
me, I seem to attach bad luck but he hung in there
with me, he would call every day to make sure I
hadnt done anything stupid, and told me that any
time of day or night to call him before I did anything
stupid, if I choose to go ahead and kill myself to call
him before hand, he made me promise him, and I did, at
this point I knew he truly wanted to be my friend and see
me through this, I expected that if things got better for
me that he would disappear in time. As
the months went by, I discovered that I was falling in
love with him, I first passed it off that it was because
he was the only one helping me and giving me a sounding
board to lash out some of the anger that I was feeling
about some of the things going on around me and things
that were happening to me, then I pasted it off that it
was because he wouldnt give up on me when I felt
that everyone else had in one way or another, then I
pasted it off that I was crazy and because I was
vulnerable that these feelings of love was normal, I
didnt say anything to him because I had heard from
him that he only wanted to be friends and nothing ever
more than that would ever happen, so I done my best to
figure out how I could hide the way I felt, I didnt
tell him till I knew for sure that these feelings
werent just a rebound or trauma induced love, that
it was real and true. When
I told him I pictured him in my mind falling off his
chair because I had also told him, I wasnt ever
going to fall in love with anyone that I was quite happy
with no love partner in my life. He handled it well, I
truly expected when I told him to hear a click of him
hanging up the phone, but instead he told me that he
could see why I fell in love with him that so many women
do and have, that he wasnt ever going to promise
that he would ever say the words to me, that he felt
there was something special between us but until we meet
in person there would never be a way of finding out, that
falling in love with someone a 1000 miles away with no
more contact than phone and internet with exchange of a
couple of pictures was impossible, all I could say was I
know, I shouldnt feel this way but I have done
everything I could to convince myself otherwise. He
accepted it partly, in august I found a lump near my
right breast, I explained to him what was going on with
it, and he explained to me that if I wanted to come up to
spend time with him that I could, but he wasnt
going to promise how he would react to me or the results
of finding out what the lump was, I convinced myself at
that point, to leave him be, he deserved so much better
than me, and if it was cancer I couldnt and
wouldnt come up to his place to die or be sick on
him. So the day I was suppose to leave to meet him in new
York I left and went to Seattle, the entire drive to
Birmingham and the entire flight to Seattle my mind
stayed focused on him, and the question of why cant I
shake the way I feel about him, he is right, we have
never meet its impossible to feel this way about him,
when I landed in Seattle, I asked myself over and over,
what am I doing here, I dont want to be here,
its a wonderful place but it didnt seem right
something was missing. On
my way back to Alabama, I had thought about going to
Canada to surprise him and meet with him, but I choose to
go back to Alabama, and see what lay there. Once back in
Alabama I had a couple of things to deal with, after
learning that I could come up to Canada with no problems
it seemed like destiny said ok, here is the deal you work
your butt off in finding out info and I will open the
door for you to have what you have always wanted. He
sent me the money to buy a one way ticket through
greyhound and meet him in Effingham, on my way from
picking up the money, I had to stop and pick something up
at wal-mart, I found a penny on heads in the parking lot,
I caught the bus and rode up to Effingham, I should have
been questioning the deal about the one way ticket, I
should have set up a safe call, I should have been scared
out of my mind, but I wasnt, I didnt have the
money to buy a return ticket back to Alabama if he choose
not to meet me, or if he couldnt meet me for
whatever reason, but we did set up constant phone calls,
where whenever the bus stopped I would call him and keep
him posted of where I was and how I was, he always asked
me how I was, he never felled to ask me how I felt, and
if I had anything to eat or drink. Once in Effingham the
bus dropped me off at the bus station, which is, located
right by a mc Donalds. I waited between there and
the bus station, pacing back and forth, nervous and
excited that I was finally going to meet him. Finally
after several hours, I saw this tall blonde headed guy in
jeans and loafers walking towards the bus terminal, I met
him in the middle of the parking lot, my heart stopped, I
knew as soon as I saw him that is was him, a smile
appeared on my face from ear to ear knowing and
confirming what I had felt in my heart for so long was in
fact true, it wasnt a dream, he really did exist.
We hugged for the longest time, until he mentioned that
we might need to get out of the middle of the
road/parking lot. We
walked back to the truck stop where he left his truck, he
brought our lunch after placing my suitcase in the truck,
I couldnt do anything but stare at him and smile, I
just knew he would catch me staring at him, if he caught
me staring at him that day or any day since he never said
anything about it, that night when we bunked down for the
night, I knew it was meant to be, I knew what those fairy
tales had always talked about, my Sir was truly my knight
in shinning armour, he even rode in on his white horse.
He was driving a white 18-wheeler, and who says fairy
tales dont exist
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