The Insane Diaries of Spooky Alice

March 28, 1864:::: The door opened. Inside was the odor of some rotting carcass. I wondered what it was from exactly?? I walked along what seemed to be a path of bones on each side. The fog made everything in front of me blurry, mere shadows. And I happened to notice one shadow in particular. It seemed to be of a big-ass bird. Now I know this is cliche, but damn! What happened to Sesame Street??? Oh, well. The next thing I knew, it was coming up to me and talking, but instead of walking, it was rowing a boat in mid-air! "Ahoy, there, young'n! How are ye taday in such er fine-weather day?" Ok. A talking rabbit. Gigantic mushrooms. Candy that makes you shrink. Now this??? What was next? Marilyn Manson wearing regular clothing??? I shuddered. "Um...not the most pleasant of days, actually. Perhaps you would be as kind enough to tell me where you are going?" He stopped rowing. "'Course I can. On'y one place ter go in these lands. To town." I smiled. "Excellent. People. Do you think you could spare a ride?" He smiled back. I swear he smiled back. "Be glad to help out." We talked for a while, and it was a somewhat boring conversation. Finally we got to "town." I got of the boat and looked around. Why, town was merely nothing but trees everywhere! Oh, dear. I started looking around for a possible way out. I found none, so I headed back for the boat with the bird, but it had already left. Surprising. First animal I didn't kill or fuck yet. Or both. Oh well. I suppose I can let one live for now. until next time. I sat down and looked around. When I looked in front of me there were two very strangely dressed boys in front of me. "Hello there," the first one said. "How are ya?" The second one, started in, "Well, we hope?" I looked at the two. "Do I look like I'm doing fucking 'well?'" They looked at each other. "What does fuck mean???" I looked at the two of them now. "It means I take out my ripper and cut your dick off to use as my own personal dildo, sound fun?" "What's a dick?" These two were stupid as hell. I wanted to get away. "Look, I'm in a hurry, I have to leave now." They gasped. "Oh, in a hurry, are we? Gettin your panties in a twist over us, are we?" I punched the first one in the face. He fell over and started rolling, the fat fucking tub of lard. "Well, have I the story for you about hurrying things up, its about a walrus, a carpenter, and clams. It's called 'The Walrus, The Carpenter, and the Clams.'" "I don't give a fuck," I retorted. He didn't seem to be paying attention. I took out my ripper, jabbed him in his intestines, twisted the blade, and ripped it out. It left a hole a little smaller than my fist. He looked up at me, then fell, and as strange as it seems, bounced a little. Oh well, he was still alive. So I showed him my ripper again. Well, now he nows my definition of "fuck" pretty well. And he was so generous for the gift. ::P.S. you actaully think I would really fuck that fat fuck dead or alive??? Kiss my ass no! ::::From the insane diaries of Spooky Alice

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