The Insane Diaries of Spooky Alice

March 18, 1864:::: Well. Isn't this a fickle trick. The door needed a key. Now where the fuck was I supposed to find a key??? On some strange ocurrence, I began to see something moving in the nearby shadows. I looked closer to see a gigantic mushroom. "A mushroom? Here? Of all the dafty places." The mushroom seemed to look up (if that's what it was really doing), so I joined it. Must've been hysterical to mother, wherever she was. Fucking Bitch. Did I want to follow the white rabbit? No! I don't even like rabbits, especially this one who seemed fashionably late for some dire and important meeting. Well, anyways, there, up above my head, was a key. Damn it! If only I had looked around before eating the candy, I might've been able to reach it. It was useless. What was I going to do now??? I sat on the mushroom. It threw me off. I sat on it again. This time it spun around throwing me on my ass. "Well, of all the rudest..." I kicked the shit out of it, until a piece of the skin underneath fell off. Aren't mushrooms edible?? I was famished. "It'll solve one of my problems at least." I took a few bites of the huge piece that fell. All of a sudden I felt a rush and a cramp as the room was normal size again. I whirled around and grabbed the key. Then the voice and I heard a scurrying. "I'm LATE!!! So terribly late, what was I thinking?!" I turned. "Excuse me Mr. Rabbit, but, how do I reach that door?" He looked at me. "Are you a fucking retard? Eat a big piece of mushroom to get bigger, a small piece to get smaller." I was startled. "Define exactly what is large and SMALL?" He looked at me incredulously and shouted, "I'm late, I haven't time for your silly questions, girl." I didn't like this rabbit. Not at all. "I like dead rabbits as well as dead men, you know." He seemed baffled at that point which gave me some time to leave him a message (Even in Wonderland, I'm such an icon :-D ). So I ate a small piece of the mushroom and let myself shrink. I walked through the door finally. I smiled. I always wanted a lucky rabbit's foot. ::P.S. Dead rabbits are fun too...although...still a little warm... ::P.S.S. jinxnd , you're next in line... ;-) ::::From the Insane Diaries of Spooky Alice

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