I cannot bear to see a friend cry

By: Griselda La Fey

 

Disclaimer:

JKR owes the characters, Warner Bros had paid for them I don’t own anything, I’m just borrowing

 

Summary:

Minerva returns from St. Mungo’s to discover that Albus is falling into a depression, because of the events of the past year. What can she do to help her dearest friend?

 

Many thanks to Athenia McGonagall for beta-reading this story for me J

 

*****

Chapter 1

Through times of sorrow

I made my way to the Enterence hall holding my tartan suitcase in one hand and leaning heavily on the walking stick in my other hand. Home at last. Words could not express how grateful I was to be here again. But of course my happiness was overshadowed by the knowledge that one of my precious lions had died. Sirius I wondered how Harry was taking it.

 

Voices reached my ear.

“Ah. I see there are no longer any points left in the Gryffindor hour-glass to take away. In that case, Potter, we will simply have to-“

That would be Severus, bullying Harry again. A part of me understand his deep grudge. After all, his father and his friends had been horrible to him and I had often been ashamed of them, giving them severe detentions. But the other part of me wished he let go. And that he stopped blaming Harry for what happened. As dreadful as it was, it was not the boy’s fault either.

 

“Simply add some more”, I suggested, walking closer to them.

 

“Professor McGonagall!” Severus said, striding forwards. “Out of St. Mungo’s, I see”.

 

“Yes, Professor Snape”, I answered, shrugging of my travelling cloak. “I’m quite as good as new. You two- Crabbe- Goyle-“. I beckoned them forwards, they came, shuffling their large feet and looking awkward.

 

“Here”, I said, trusting my carpetbag into Crabbe’s chest and my cloak into Goyle’s. “Take these up to my office for me”. They stumbled away and I turned around. Three minutes later I had awarded two hundred and fifty points to Gryffindor and fifty points to Ravenclaw. I told Harry and Draco to go outside and both of them obeyed. Severus was looking murderous at me.

“Let it go, Severus”, I told him softly, placing my hand on his arm for a moment, while I walked passed him. “Albus is in his Office, I presume?”

He nodded briskly and I walked to the staircase.

 

I waited impatiently as the stony staircase brought me up to his Office. I was very anxious to see him. After everything that had happened, I wanted to see him. And I was worried about him. He always seemed so strong, so cheerful, despite everything, but I knew how much the war took from him. I needed to see him. It had been so long. I had not seen him after that horrible day Cornelius and Dolores had removed him from Hogwarts.

 

Finally I reached the end. I knocked on the door and waited for his reply. When he called out I opened the door and walked in. He sat in an armchair near the fire, staring in the flames. When he saw me however, he jumped to his feet and walked towards me.

“Minerva!” he said, clearly relieved. “You’re back”.

 


We embraced each other tightly. My walking stick lay forgotten on the floor. I was so happy to be here again. For a few moments I absorbed the feel of his arms around me, my face buried in his shoulder. He smelled of herbal tea and Sherbet lemon and I smiled against the material of his robes. This was Albus Dumbledore, there was no doubt about it.

 

Eventually we both pulled back. “I am glad you’re home”, he told me, smiling softly. I gazed into his face and felt my heart sank. His eyes were not twinkling. That was a bad sign. “Are you alright?” I asked gently.

 

The smile faded from his face and his shoulders dropped. “I’ve told him, Minerva”, he said. “I’ve told Harry everything”. I had expected this. When I was in St. Mungo’s and I heard from Remus what happened at the Ministry I figured Albus would have to tell him about the prophecy.

“How did he take it?” I asked.

 

He gestured to the armchairs near the fire and the both of us sat down. “I told him right after Sirius had died”, Albus began in a quiet voice. “He was furious, Minerva. I don’t think he will ever trust me again”.

 

I placed my hand on his. “This is not your fault, Albus”, I said urgently. “You are not responsible for Sirius’ death”.

 

He shook his head sadly. “I should not have ignored him all those months. I should have talked to him, explained it all. I should have told him about the prophecy sooner. I should have taught him occlumency myself, I should have”

 

“Stop right there, Albus”, I interrupted him in a voice that I usually only reserved for students. “Don’t do this to yourself”, I continued in a softer tone. “You did what you thought was best. You had good reason for the choices you have made”.

 

“I was wrong Minerva”, he answered. “I made those decisions, not because I thought they were right, but because that was the way I wanted it. I wanted to spare Harry this pain, but in the end I have only added to his burden”.

 

“Albus”, I began gently, “do you really think Harry would have taken this easier if you had told him last year, or the year before?”

 

“No, but at least he had the support of his godfather then”, he replied.

 

“I know”, I admitted. “And it must be terrible for Harry to have lost him and I know how much you wanted to spare him that, but he’s not alone. Even with Sirius gone, he’s not alone. Arthur and Molly and Remus and Hagrid, you, me, the rest of the Weasley family, I could go on for an hour Albus, they are all there for him”.

 

“I just hope he will trust me again”, Albus still did not look convinced and I realised with a shock that it would take some time for him to get over this.

Days past and the world around us awoke. Finally, finally the Ministry acknowledged the fact that He Who Must Not Be Named had returned. Albus was reinstated as Headmaster of Hogwarts, as member of the International Confederation of Wizards and as Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot. The atmosphere under the students was tense and I could not blame them. They had a terrible year behind them and who knew what the future would bring to them.

 

I watched Albus pull back further into himself. I tried to talk to him on many occasions, but I just couldn’t get through him. He blamed himself for what happened, blamed himself for Sirius dead and the pain Harry was going through.

 


When I visit Grimmauld Place during the weekend, to check on Remus I talked to Phineas and learned what Harry had said to him. And what he had told Harry. It nearly broke my heart. I had always known that Albus cared deeply for Harry. I suppose he saw him as the grandson he had never had. That is why I could not blame him for the choices he had made.

 

Perhaps he should have told Harry earlier, perhaps he should not have ignored Harry all year. But I knew why he had done it. I knew how much he cared for his happiness and let’s face it, the boy had known so little in his past. I knew how much it had hurt him to step back from Harry. I knew that there had been so many occasions where he had wanted to tell Harry about the prophecy, about why You-know-who was after him. But I also knew that he had been too scared that He Who Should Not Be Named would attack him through Harry. Not because of himself, but because of what it would do to Harry.

 

And I was convinced that in time, Harry would understand that too. When Albus had told him about the prophecy, his godfather had just died. He was angry and he blamed himself for it. Another thing I heard from Phineas. I suspected all that anger and sadness had come out and Albus was just the nearest person to take it all out on.

 

One day before the end of year feast, Dolores Umbridge left the school. I can say in all honesty that I have never been so glad to see someone leave. And this includes Lockhart. Peeves borrowed my walking stick to ‘beat her out’ as he put it. I should have said something about it. I really should have. But I was just too relieved. This woman had caused so many problems and agony through this year. I sincerely hoped I would never see her again.

 

Albus too was pleased she was gone. Despite his gentleman-like manner, I knew how much he disliked her.  I hoped Harry would come to the Leaving feast. Perhaps if Albus could see him, he would feel better.

 

Chapter 2:

I’ll take your hand

 

But he did not come. Throughout the whole evening I watched the Gryffindor table, hoping that he would come. But he didn’t. I guess he felt too sad and distressed to attend the festivities. Next to me, I saw Albus grew more and more quiet. He looked tired. The deep circles under his eyes told me that he had not had much sleep in the past weeks. The twinkle had gone from his eyes and he watched the students in front of us with a sad, serious expression.

 

Finally the end of the feast came and we watched the students return to their dormitories. Maybe it was because I was still not completely recovered that I was so over emotional, but when I watched them leave I felt tears come to my eyes. They were so young, so innocent. Some of them were only eleven. What would happen to them? How would they come through this war?

 

After all the students had left Albus rose. He did not speak a word when he left, he only squeezed my shoulder softly when he brushed passed me.

After him, I too left. I went to the Gryffindor Common Room, making sure that everyone was in. On my way back I met Hermione, she had just done her prefect duties. “Where’s Harry?” I asked her.

 

“Ron said he had already gone to bed”, she answered. “He didn’t want to come to the end of year feast”.

 

 I nodded. “Understandable”.

 

“Professor” she said hesitantly, “he he will alright, really. He just needs time”.

 

I smiled. “I know Hermione, I know”.

 

“Have a nice summer, Professor”, she said, walking passed me.

 

When I continued through the hall, I thought of her words. ‘He just needs time’. But how much time was there, before another dreadful thing happened?

I shook my head angrily. Albus’ bad mood was beginning to rub off on me.

 

I decided to check on him. When I entered his office he was sitting in a large armchair near the fire. He seemed to be spending an awful lot of time in that armchair lately, another bad sign. When I came closer I noticed the traces of moisture on his cheeks and I realised he had been crying.

 

I rushed over to him immediately and dropped on my knees, next to his chair. “Albus, what’s the matter?”

 

He looked at me as if he was pulling his gaze away from a far distance. “I’ve just talked to Sir Nicolas”, he began after a moment. His voice was hoarse and full of sorrow. “Harry has talked to him tonight he wanted to know he wanted to know if Sirius could come back as a ghost”.

 

“Oh”, I whispered softly. I could have seen that one coming. I was glad Sirius had not returned as a ghost. Ghosts lead a half life, a haunted life. I wanted to spare Sirius and Harry that. But I could understand his disappointment.

 

“I could have prevented this, Minerva”, Albus said angrily and I realised this anger was directed to himself. “If I had made different choices” Another tear rolled down over his cheek.

 

I got up and sat down on the armrest of his chair. “Shh”, I whispered softly, “it’s not your fault’. I wrapped my arms around him and he buried his face in the curve of my neck, his own arms slipping around my waist.


“It was not your fault Albus”, I carried on whispering, “Sirius made his own choices, you are not to blame for this”. In response he only wrapped his arms tighter around me. To see him so heartbroken broke my own heart. I loved this man so much. For many years we were close, working together side by side, dealing with whatever life threw at us. But I had never seen him this upset or this grieved.

 

My own tears began to fall as well. I stroked his hair gently as we both cried, holding on to each other.

 

A long time later, he pulled away. “Thank you”, he said softly.

 

“You’re welcome”, I replied, brushing a few remaining tears from his face.

 

He mirrored my actions and I tried not to shiver as his thumb moved over my cheek. “Now I’ve got you started too”, he whispered.

 

“That’s alright”. I caught his hand in mine. “Albus, he just needs time. Harry has trusted and respected you since the first time he heard of you. He will not give that up easily”.

 

He nodded slowly. “I hope so. I hope he can understand. Why he has to return to the Dursley family for example”.

 

“Petunia Evans will keep him safe”, I said convincingly.

 

“With healthy disinclination, she will”, Albus retorted.

 

A thought entered my mind. “You know what you should do? You should ask some members of the Order to talk to them tomorrow, before they take Harry with them. I’m sure Mad- Eye can scare them into being civil to him during the holidays”.

 

His face lightened slightly. “That’s an idea”, he said thoughtful. ‘And I’m sure Remus and Nymphodora will be most willingly to assist”.

 

I slide of the armrest and looked around for my walking stick. I hated needing that thing.

“Here it is”, Albus said, pulling it from under his chair. He grasped my hand and squeezed it gently. “Thank you, Minerva”, he said smiling softly. A sincere smile this time.

 

“You’re welcome”, I answered again.

 

When I had left the office I hoped that he could finally put his depressed feelings aside.

 

****

I was wrong.

 

One week later he was as depressed as before. The circumstances did not help for that matter. We received owls from the parents of students, claiming that Professor Umbridge had used violence against students. Although I couldn’t say I was surprised, I was shocked nevertheless.

 

Dolores Umbridge had used a Paincil on students, a quill that made them write lines in their own blood. I was repulsed beyond words. Paincils were banned from Hogwarts a century ago. They were even forbidden when I was at Hogwarts. And at that time corporal punishment was very common. Or so I’ve been told.

 

It didn’t long to find out that Harry too had suffered from it. From all the students he had received the most detentions during the past year. I wondered why he had not come to see me. Or why Hermione had not told me for that matter.

 


Albus was furious. He cares about all his students and he cannot bear to see one of them getting hurt. I remember that time in his office, when Marietta Edgecombe had sold Dumbledore’s Army out. He had been composed the entire time, until Dolores started to shake Marietta.

 

After we had reassured all the parents that their children would not suffer from the effect of the Paincil and that Dolores Umbridge would have to answer for her actions, Albus was as down as before.

 

I tried everything. I explained to him that he could not have known that, that the students would have come to us if it had got too much out of hand. I tried telling him that the fact that Harry was the gang leader of Dumbledore’s Army meant that he still trusted him, I talked to him for what it seemed hours but I didn’t get though him.

 

He spend hours in front of the fire, staring and worrying. Maybe it was the fact that Harry wasn’t around, maybe because he could not completely ensure his safety when he was at Little Surrey, as the events of the previous year had proved, but his feelings of guilt returned, depressing him more then ever.

 

Four weeks passed and the whole situation was beginning to take it’s toll from me. I couldn’t bear to see Albus like that. Following his example, I too spend nights tossing and turning, worrying about both Albus and Harry. Eventually I talked to Poppy.

 

I went to see her, because I still needed medical check-ups, much to my dismay. Although this session went very well. I was finally allowed to stop using the wretched thing.

 

“You are worried about Albus, aren’t you?” she asked while putting her instruments away.

 

I nodded. “He is taking it so hard”, I told her, “and no matter what I say, he still cannot believe that he is not to blame for what happened”.

 

Poppy felt silent for a moment. Eventually she said, “since Harry is the one that made him believe it was his fault, the only person who can make him think differently is Harry”.

 

I thought about that for the rest of the afternoon. And by the end of the day, I had made my decision.

 

(Paincil is the word I invented for that quill Umbridge used. I’ve also used it in ‘Harry Potter and the Tales of the Rememirror’. )

 

Chapter 3:

And lead you away from darkness

 

It was far more easy to carry out my plan as I had expected. The next morning, Albus told me that Harry could leave the Dursley’s.

“The wards are strong enough. I’ve promised Harry to take him away form there as soon as possible”.

 

“Where will he stay for the rest of the summer?” I asked.

 

“Arthur and Molly are more then willing to take him in”, Albus replied.

 

I smiled. The Weasleys, I could have known. But then again, it was the perfect solution. They could provide Harry with the one thing he missed from his life, a warm and loving family.

 

“Can I go to Little Surrey and collect Harry?” I asked, hoping that he would agree.

 

He looked at me surprised for a few seconds. “Of course. But why?”

 

I shrugged my shoulders. “I could do with a change of scenery. I’ve been indoors for a month now. Besides, I haven’t been to the Muggleworld for quite some time now”.

 

He nodded. “Alright then. You know were he lives, just be careful”.

 

“I will”, I reassured him, “don’t worry. When can I go?”

 

“Tomorrow”, he replied, “I will send Harry an owl today that you will come to take him away around one o’clock”.

 

*****

The next day I changed into a Muggle blouse and skirt and a long coat. I detest Muggle clothes. They are so uncomfortable. I took my purse and put my wand into it. Why do Muggle woman use purses? A nice, big pocket inside your cloak is so much more convenient.

 

I couldn’t apparate to Little Surrey. We must draw as little magical attention to that place as possible. So first a took the carriage to Hogwarts’ station. I thought about my plan. It could work. It could work well, but only if Harry agreed. I planned on talking to Harry, before I took him to the Weasley family and I hoped I could convince him to come with me first to talk to Albus. Poppy was right. Only Harry could change Albus’ mood.

 

If only he knew that Harry still trusted and respected him. But that was the question, wasn’t it? Did Harry still trusted him? And if he didn’t, could I convince him to start trusting him again?

 

From Hogwarts’ station I took the Hogwarts’ Express to Kings Cross. From that moment on I had to be careful not to show that I was a witch. I love walking through the Muggle world. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that I’m not a Muggle, but I like looking at them. And the way they have learned to deal without magic.

 

I took a train to the station of Little Surrey. No there’s a village I don’t like. It’s all so neat and tidy. I know I’m strict and organised, but this is too much, even for me.

While walking towards Privet Drive I remembered the last time I was here, fifteen years ago. Fifteen years Harry had turned sixteen a week ago. It was amazing how quick time passed. That night Albus and I had walked here, relieved beyond words because You Know Who had finally disappeared, even if it was only for a while. But also sad, because we had lost James and Lily.

 


And now Sirius. I could understand Harry so well. Losing them hurt so much. It felt like a knife, stabbed in my body and everytime another one of my lions got hurt or died, the knife twisted again.

 

Finally I reached number four. I rang the doorbell, straightening my clothes uncomfortably and waited. A bony woman with a surly face opened. Petunia Evans, or Dursley. For many times I have wondered how she could ever be Lily’s sister. Happy, cheerful, kind Lily. How did she ever get a sister like her.

 

“Yes”, she snapped, regarding me suspiciously.

 

“Good afternoon”, I said with as much kindness as I could muster. “My name is Minerva McGonagall and I’m here to collect Harry Potter”.

 

“You’re you’re one of them?” Petunia asked apprehensively.

 

“Yes, I am a witch”, I replied calmly. “Can you call Harry for me now?”

 

She stepped back, not inviting me in. Over her shoulder she yelled. “Harry_”

 

There was a noise on the stairs and a second later Harry came rushing downstairs. He looked at me for a moment and blinked. “Hello Professor”

 

“Good afternoon Harry”, I replied, “I’m here to collect you and take you to the Weasley family”.

 

His face broke into an ear to ear grin and he reminded me of James. “Right. I’m glad to see you Professor”.

 

I couldn’t hold back  a smile. “Go get your trunk Harry. We will leave immediately”.

 

He rushed upstairs again and I returned my attention to Petunia. “Will he have to come back next year?” she asked with a resentful tone in her voice.

 

I almost couldn’t believe my ears. This was her sister son, the only thing she had left from her and she treated him like a piece of dirt.

“I’m afraid so”, I replied coldly. ‘Unfortunately this is the only place were he is safe”.

 

At that moment Harry returned. He looked at us both and I stepped back. “Let’s go, Harry”. Then a thought entered my mind. “Oh, before we leave, has your family been treating you well?”

 

Harry hesitated for a moment. Then he said, “yeah, they were alright”.

 

I pulled out my wand and grinned inwardly as Petunia staggered backwards. I pointed at Harry’s trunk and muttered a spell. The trunk shrank to the size of a match-box. Harry stared at me in wonder. Then he said. “To quote Ron, that was bloody brilliant”.

 

“Thank you for that assessment, Mr. Potter”, I replied dryly. “Put the trunk in your pocket”. He did so and we walked away from the house. Petunia did not greet him and I saw no trace of her husband or her son. Harry didn’t even look back. I felt glad I could take him away from here.

 

“Listen Harry”, I said as we had left Privet Drive behind us. “How about we go to Diagon Alley for a sundae from Florean Fortescue’s Ice-Cream Parlour? I could do with one and more importantly, there is something I want to talk to you about”.

 

If my request surprised Harry, he did not show it. “Alright. Let’s go to Diagon Alley”. 

 

Chapter 4:

Into the light of love

 

We took the train to London and entered Diagon Alley through The Leaky Cauldron. It was a beautiful, sunny day and we sat on a small table outside Florean Fortescue’s Ice-Cream Parlour in the shadow of a large sunshade. I watched Harry closely. He looked fine. A bit pale and tired, but fine.

 

“How are you feeling, Harry?” I asked as Florean brought us our sundae’s. He shrugged his shoulders.

 

“I’m alright, really. I still miss Sirius of course, but I’m alright”. But his expression was sad.

 

“Did the Dursleys really treat you alright?” 

 

He nodded. “They ignored me most of the time. But I didn’t mind. I was glad they left me ad peace”. He paused for a second, looking around him and then back to the table. “How’s Professor Dumbledore?” He glanced at me briefly before returning his gaze to the table.

 

I was glad he brought the subject up himself. “He’s worried about you, Harry”, I told him quietly, “he” I paused, not sure of how I should frame this, “he told me about your conversation”.

 

“I said some pretty awful things”, Harry admitted. “But I was just so so angry. My godfather had just died and he stood there, so calm and collected like it didn’t matter to him. And it was my fault If I had studied occlumency If I had”

 

Despite myself I smiled. “Harry, I’ve had this exact same conversation with Albus repeatedly over the past weeks and I am going to tell you exactly what I’ve told him, you are not to blame”.

 

“But if I had not gone to the Ministry, Sirius wouldn’t have died”, Harry said desperately, “It is my fault. Professor Dumbledore said it was his fault, but”

 

“Listen to me”, I said sternly, “Sirius death was not your fault and it was not Albus fault. Sirius made his own decisions. If he had not go to the Ministry, he would not have died either” 

 

“So you’re saying that it’s all Sirius fault?” His eyes were blazing with anger.

 

I shook my head. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. Sirius death was no-one’s fault, but. Voldemorts. We all make decisions. Albus decided to wait about telling you about the prophecy about you were fifteen. You decided to go after Sirius when he thought he was in danger. Sirius decided to go after you Those decisions lead to certain consequences, but that does not mean that you, or Albus or Sirius himself, is guilty of his death.

 

“But if Professor Dumbledore had told me earlier about the prophecy I would have known it was a trap I wouldn’t have gone to the Ministry”.

 

“Do you blame Professor Dumbledore?” I asked.

 

“No_ No, I don’t blame him. I just wished he had told me earlier about the prophecy. I don’t understand why he has waited so long”.

 

“When should he have told you about the prophecy?”

 

“I don’t know, last year perhaps”

 


“Do you really think you could have taken it then?” I asked gently. “You had witnessed the return of Voldemort, you had fought against him, you had seen the Death Eaters you had seen how Cedric was murdered Do you really think you could have taken the truth about the prophecy?”

 

When he didn’t answer I continued.

 

“There is something you must understand Harry. He didn’t wait because he didn’t trust you, or because he thought you couldn’t take the truth. He waited because he cared for you and he wanted to spare you from the truth. Not because of the prophecy, or the war, or your scar, but because of you. After ten years of being treated miserably by the Dursleys, he wanted to give you some time to be carefree.

 

Or as much as”, I added wearily and he grinned.

 

“If he had not done that you would not have been able to find friends, to be just yourself you would have collapsed under the burden of that knowledge”. 

 

Harry took a few deep breaths and I saw he was struggling with his emotions. Eventually he spoke. “I’ve said horrible things to him. I didn’t mean it but I was so angry and I didn’t understand”

 

I nodded. “I know Harry. And I think you should speak to Albus again. Now the both of you have had time to think about it. How about we finish our sundae’s and go to Hogwarts?”

 

He hesitated for a moment and then he nodded. “Yes, let’s go to Hogwarts.

 

***

 

We used the Floo network to return to Hogwarts and arrived in my office. Together we walked to stony gargoyle. “It’s so quiet here”, Harry said, looking around him.

 

“The place is deprived of three thousand students. Of course it’s quiet”, I answered. We reached Albus office and the two of us got up. I could tell Harry was very nervous and I had to admit, so was I. I just hoped everything would work out alright. I knocked on the door and opened when I heard him call out.

 

He looked at me with surprise on his face, failing to notice Harry.

 

“Minerva, you’re back early. Did everything go as planned?”

 

“Not exactly as planned”, I answered. When his face turned into a worried expression, I added, “It went alright, but there was a slight change of plans”. I shoved Harry into the office. “Mr. Potter is here to talk to you”.

 

His jaw dropped. Almost literally. “Harry_” he managed to get out finally. “How”

 

“The two of you need to talk”, I interrupted him. I stepped back, outside the office. “So talk_”  And I closed the door behind me.

 

Slowly I walked back to my own rooms. I was very eager to get out of those Muggle clothes. I went into the bathroom and decided to take a very long, luxurious bath. I felt still a bit worried. Would they understand each other this time? Would they be able to sort it out? 

 


I hoped I had made the right decision. If things got worse, the damage would be almost beyond repair. After almost an hour I got out of the bath and dried myself. I used a drying spell for my hair and turned into a light cotton dress, I wear under my robes. I walked into the study to get my shoes when I heard a knock on the door. “Come in_” I called out.

 

The door burst open and Albus marched in. He walked straight up to me and placed his hands on my waist. He lifted me up and swirled me around until I was dizzy.

 

“Put me down, you fool_” I shrieked, gripping his shoulders for support. He laughed out loud and placed me back on the ground. But the next moment he had wrapped me up in a fierce hug. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, returning his embrace and rested my head on his shoulder. Albus Dumbledore was back.

 

“You are amazing, Minerva”, he whispered, his arms tightening around me even more.

 

I chuckled and drew back a little to look in his eyes. Then I smiled. “What?” he asked confused.

 

“There back”, I said relieved. This only increased his confusion. “What is back?”

 

“The twinkles in your eyes. They were gone these past month and I’ve missed them”.

 

His eyes grew wide with surprise. I reached out to touch his face, but halfway I hesitated. I couldn’t what would he think? Instead I placed my hand on his shoulder and looked down.

 

“So”I started, cringing when I heard that my voice was shaking. “How did the conversation go?”

 

His hand moved from my waist and cradled my face, forcing me to look at him again. “He understands now”, he answered softly. He didn’t before, but he does now”.

 

“And he still trusts and respects you?” I asked with a teasing undertone in my voice.

 

“I believe he does’, he answered. “Thank you, Minerva, for bringing him here. I needed to talk to him. More then I realised myself”.

 

“You’re welcome”, I whispered back, a little hoarse.

 

His fingertips brushed against my temple and I bit back a sigh. “Why?” he asked softly, “why did you do it?”

 

“You were hurt”, I answered truthfully. “I couldn’t bear to see it. I love you too much for that”.

 

The moment I had said it I wished I could disappear into thin air. I bit my lip and stared down, hoping the ground would open. How could I’ve been so stupid? How could I have blurted that out?

 

His hand was still on my face and I knew my cheeks were flaming red. Gently he lifted my head. His blue eyes were piercing into mine, reading my soul. “Minerva..” he began, but I cut him off.

 

“Can we forget I’ve said that, please? Just just forget it”.

 

He brought his face only inches away from mine and I could feel his breath on my face. “Just answer me this”, he replied, then he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.

 

I froze. I stood there, completely immobilised. Albus Dumbledore was kissing me and I couldn’t move if my life depended on it. His hand moved into my hair to support the back of my head and his other arm slipped around me, pulling me close against his body.

 


Slowly I began to relax and I responded tentatively to his kiss. His kiss grew more and more intense and when he deepened the kiss I gave in. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with all the love I had in me.

 

I can honestly say that I’ve never been happier then that moment, there in his arms. After all those years of pretending not to love him, of burying my feelings all my dreams were coming true. And it felt even better than I could’ve ever thought.

 

Eventually we broke the kiss. He rested his forehead against mine and stroked my hair. “I guess that answers it then”, he mumbled.

 

“What was the question again?” I asked a happy smile spreading across my face.

 

“How long have you loved me?” he asked frowning.

 

My face was going to split in two if I wasn’t careful. “For decades”, I answered, stroking his face and burying my hands in his hair like I had always wanted to.

 

“That long?” he asked shocked. “Oh Minerva, I should have told you years ago”.

 

“Tell me what?” I whispered as his face came closer again.

 

“That I love you”, he answered, before capturing my mouth again.

 

                                                                        Fin