Yeah, Shit is going on.. But that doesn’t mean I need tp dwell on it, because in the end where is it getting me? It is only holding me back from the goal that I am trying to achieve, and over all it is a complete waste of my time and a drain on my energy.

Sure I was shocked... but fuck that

I’ve said it before, being shocked by anything is being unprepared, obviously I am human, and I do make mistakes, and letting this situation get the best of me is one of them

So now it is time to put all that behind me, the situation is being handled, and soon I will have the answer that I seek, it a matter of time, this ordeal will pass and no one will even remember it happened, at least that is the plan.

Because who is he to storm back into my life... fuck that.

I have let my thoughts be controlled with this petty crap for long enough, fact is, one of the most important weeks in my professional career is nearly over, and I have wasted more than half of it worrying about something that wont be a part of me anymore in a few short days.

Once Punisher’s connections come through, it will be all but over.. And then I can focus on what has been important all along, one.. Being the Reign of Power Tournament..

While I have already done the maximum allowed number of promos for it I have been too busy worrying about other things to even mention it. And frankly all I have to say about it is this... I have already proven so many wrong it is unbelievable.. Fuck, no one even thought I would make it past round one.. And now I am in the goddamn finals, to say that is an unexpected turn of events is an understatement

I have yet to make any promises about how well I will do.. And I plan to keep it that way, all I have to say is my focus is on it 100%... which is more than it has been up to this point. We’ll see how it goes I guess.

And it seems the tag team match performance rate has ben anything but stellar, aside from Punisher and myself, no one seems to be giving an effort, not that I am going to complain.. I suppose I was just hoping for more of a challenge.. Hell Jackrabbit has yet to even show up.. Perhaps the fear of being held behind Avi has finally gotten to him.

His best bet all along was to not even attempt to prove he is the leader of his team, because it has been proven that Avirez carries that team on his back.

And it seems every other team has one person carrying the load for the team. Team is not really the right term for most of the duos competing.. Partners.

The only real team is that of Punisher and myself. The only true unit.

And even those that are suppose to lead their teams are slacking.. *ahem* Avi....

Capturing the tag titles would be a great way to start my run in IWF...

It would already silence many of my toughest critics... but..

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves eh?..

Focus. Desire Determination

That’s what has always gotten me my success... and that wont change just because the level of competition has went up.

It’s time to step it up boys... because only one team is walking away with those titles..

And I’ll be damned if its anyone except us.

The clouds are opening up... And the Rays of Gold are shining through.

...

today hit me like a breath of fresh air, all the drama and trivial nonsense has been put behind me, and I have made my choice to face the day like a man, no more feeling sorrow for myself and the circumstances life has laid before me.. After all, life wont stop when shit like this comes along, the only way to get past it.. Is to go about my business until it is taken care of an simply goes away, which.. By my clock should not be more than a few short hours, hell even less than that.. Today in the mail I got a interview from an online wrestling column, and they were curious about my situation.. Rather than tearing it up, I spent all of the morning working on it. Nitara came home from her yoga class at about 1.. And I met her at the door with a cup of warm coffee and a smile.

” Mighty cheerful are we not? “ Must be showing.. Because I feel carefree right now.

“ Yes I am in quite a good mood”

” Did you get word or something.? “

“ What would I get word about? “

” You know.. The whole... ‘

I cut her off.

“ Ahh, that.. No worries, I have already wasted too much time concerning myself with that. “

” You got word didnt you? “ Anyone else not surprised she doesn’t believe me ?

“ I swear to you.. I am just trying to move on.. Care to join me in doing so? “ Obviously she noted the sarcasm and she cracks a smile

” Well good I am glad for you”

“ As you should be... seen Nic today? “

” Last I saw him he was one wasted little boy. Did he ever come home? “

“ Fuck if I know.. “

” I’ll check his room” But there was no need to. As soon as she turned to go fetch him.. He appeared in the entrance of the room.. Looking quite terrible, wearing the clothes he wore yesterday, his hair is matted and eyes are blood shot, and he is grabbing his head with an obvious hangover.

“ Well, you look like complete hell “

” Haha.. Fuck you. I got so wasted last night.... “ I put a quick end to this story

“ I don’t care..”

<” Man I am serious, I got way too hammered last night”

“ Must I remind you again that I do not care. “

” Dude, why do you always have to be like that. “

“ Don’t you think if I wanted to know, I would say.. Gee Nic, you look terrible please tell me in complete detail why you do? “

” ...”

“ Exactly.. So sit down, eat some lunch and shut the fuck up about how wasted you got last night, after all its your own fault. “

” Looks like someone is in a better mood today. “

” Why do you say that... he just insulted you. “

” That’s the reason, last few days he has not been able to even do that... good to have ya back Si. “

“ Shut up. “ Oddly enough his smile increases when I say that

” So what’s the deal.. You must have gotten some good news or something.. You are much more cheery. “

“ What is it with you two cant I just be in a good mood without something happening? People are happy sometimes for no apparent reason you know.

The both look at each other, and shake their heads.

“ What?... Its true,.. “

” It may be true for some... but not for you. Either you are upset over something bad or happy over something good, there is no median with you “

” She’s right you know. “

“ No one asked you. Go take some Tylenol of some shit. “

” You are just hiding something from us. “

“ Are you both trying to make me think about it?.. Damn, cant we ever have a normal conversation around here? .. “

” Not with you around... “

“ Don’t you have something else to do?.. Like oh I don’t know, crying to someone else about how FUCKED UP you got. “

” Was that a jab? “

“ No that was telling you to go away. “

” Oh.. “

And being the bitch that he is.. He gets up and leaves, once again servoing no purpose..

” So when are we ;leaving tomorrow? “

“ Um.. “ Just as I start to answer her, my phone rings.. I pick it up and it reads..

Pun Cell.

I let it ring a few times, knowing full well what will be on the other end of the line. And then answer.

“ Yeah.. “

” Si.. You there? “

“ Yeah, I’m hear go ahead. “

”Well, like The Punisher said, we found him”

“ Ok then.. “

” Ok then? That’s all you have to say?...”

“ I have already invested too much emotion into this matter.. “

” Alright then.. What would you like to be done? “

“ I think you know what is to be done from here.. “

” It was The Punisher’s belief that you wanted to see him. “

“ Change of plans.. We are moving right to the second phase. “

” Which is...”

“ Do I really need to say it? “

” Are you absolutely sure this is the way you want it to be done “

“ Yes.. Just let me know when it is finished. “

” Must admit... The Punisher is a bit surprised you have got the sudden change in emotion. But if you are sure that is what you want... then that is what will happen. “

“ I’m sure.. Thank you. “

” Not a problem.”

I can sense it in his voice, that he is as confused as everyone else about my whole change in outlook, but that is fine, I didn’t ask anyone to understand, all I asked was for them to accept whatever choice I decide to make. Which is what Punisher is doing.. And hopefully I will be receiving a call later letting me know everything went off with out a hitch .. Wishful thinking I suppose.

” Who was that?.. “

“ Who do you think it was.. How many people know my private phone number.. ? “

” Um.. 3 other than you.”

“ And how many are in the house right now. “

” Shut up. “ Playful smile from her.

“ Yes, it was Pun “

” And what was the news? “

“ Ah, it was nothing important. “

” Ok, well when you feel like telling me about it.. I am all ears. “

“ Sure thing. “

Out of no where Nic bursts into the room.

” Dude, come check this out, a Mexican is getting his ass kicked.! “

“ What would ever believe you to think that I would care? “

” JUST LOOK.. Its so funny. “

“ I am quite alright thank you, but feel free to amuse yourself. “

” Suit yourself. “ He runs off yelling racial slurs...

“ Moron.. “

” Be nice... “

“ Why? “

” Forget it. “

Well, it seems things are returning to normal around here, well as normal as they can get all things considering. But I still have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that everything wont disappear in the snap of a finger, nothing is that easy, especially not for me. Things in my life always have to be complicated by some stupid random bullshit, that could usually be avoided, but for some reason never is. I am trying to come off as calm and collected about everything, but in the back of my mind I am waiting for everything to begin to crumble, it almost seems inevitable. And maybe that is just my pessimistic viewpoint, but from what I have known in the past, things always have a way to fail. Plans get fucked... people mess things up, and then its my ass on the line. But this time things will be different. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

” You ok...? You got awful quiet there for a second. “

“ Yeah I am fine, just thinking... want to watch a movie or something?.. “

” Sure “

So here’s to hoping tomorrow turns out as good as today...

Cheers.