IWF Chapter 5| Insomnia Ensues....
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There are many things in this life that I am deprived of, I solid family, complete mental stability, morals... but aside from those major ones, there is something that affects me on a daily basis, and that... is th inability to get a good nights sleep. In fact I cannot remember the last time I actually got more than a couple hours of sleep in a night before being awakened, I don’t know why it is.. But I have a few theories, one being that I am simply meant to be awake at night, I would much rather spend most of my hours up and out when its dark... That, or perhaps the things of my past keep my mind on such an edge that it does not allow for much rest before it kicks back in, It just seems like it never slows down, but rather always thinking of something, never allowing to be relaxed until my body simply cannot go on any longer with out sleep. But perhaps the single biggest reason I suffer from the dreaded disorder known as insomnia, is because sleep is such a waste of time, I cannot see what the logical point is in taking 1/3 of your day lying on your back in bed. There are so many things you could be doing rather than wasting your life away being asleep. For some sleep is comfort, they can hide from the world, be shielded from the things that they hate, and the things that they are too afraid to face.. Because they are cowards and they don’t realize things are not going to go away simply because you stay in bed, I would rather stand up and face the problems. And that is how it is every single night at my home. I try and tell myself that there is a reason for me to get rest.. Health perhaps, but I don’t see how lying in my bed for 8 hours is getting me any healthier. No... I like to make the most of out my day.. And I just cannot see how that is possible with sleep. Not saying I never sleep because naturally I have to eventually.. After a time I simply have to give into sleep. Its my plague, one of many, and It seems that it will never go away, no matter what I do.. I can never escape the grasp that it has on me... it has me bound like a prisoner, I prisoner of my mind and of my body... perhaps life is just out to torment me.. never giving me a chance to rest, never letting me have peace.. Peace... heh, it almost makes me laugh to think what a little of it would be like.. Just to be content for a few moments would be fantastic, but no... not for me, I am always striving for something new, what I have is never enough and once I get what I want, it still is not good enough. Why I have been forced to endure such a never ending battle with myself I am not sure.. But I cannot break away from it... And believe me I have tried, I have tried everything to attempt to gain a little rest, a little peace, but like night avoids the light it avoids me.. Its like a game of cat and mouse that I will never be able to win, I will run and run until I can run no more... but I will never catch what I am chasing.. This is not a sob story.. I am not begging for sympathy or shit like that.. Simply expressing how I feel, letting you know the hell that go through every single day... and people don’t even know, if I didn’t tel you, you would never be able to tell.. Because it all happens within the tormented confines of my mind.. So don’t take it as a plea for you empathy.... But rather a chance to better understand the man you all love to hate..... .....
The clock reads 4:30 a.m. and I have not even began to think about sleep, Yes I know tomorrow is an important match, but for some reason I cannot fall asleep, Nitara lies beside me, she has been out for some time now.. Peacefully dreaming away, while I cannot even shut my eyes for 3 seconds with out opening them right back up again. Finally I decide that an attempt at sleep is pointless, so I get up and walk into the kitchen, poor some steaming black coffee, and head into the living room, where much to my surprise Nicolae is awake, and of all things he is playing PS2... Enter the Matrix ( wtf? ) I walk in and stand behind him but he is so intent on the game that he does not even notice I am there..I watch as he does the same level over and over again, finally I say something.
” The hell are you doing? “ He nearly shits himself as he jumps and turns and faces me, he is literally unable to say anything...
” Again.. What the hell are you doing?”
” Playing Enter the Matrix... “
” why on earth would you be doing that?... “
” Because its fun man, you ever played? I think you would like it.. “ He rambles on and on about all the features and what not I stop listing because frankly I don’t care...
” ... Shut up “
” Huh? “
” What are you a child... who plays video games until 4 30?... “
” Dude its addicting.. Look at all this cool shit I can do.. “ He proceeds to show me he can dodge bullets in a very typical Matrix fashion. He expects me to be impressed but the level of maturity is so low I cannot even take him seriously..
” I cannot believe that you are actually still into this stupid bullshit. Turn it off...”
” No.. “
” Excuse me?..”
” I said no.. I got to get past this Freeway level. “
” You are so lame I cannot even describe it.. I want to watch a movie.. So turn It off. “
” Fuck you man.. I’m tearin’ shit up... whooping some major ass. “
” Your playing as a girl “
” Yeah so... she kicks ass. “
” Yet.. I still don’t care. “
” Your just mad because you don’t know how to play. “
” You have got to be kidding me.. “
” I can see it in your eyes, you wish you were as good of a gamer as me. “
” Is that what we have resorted to.. Smacktalk over a video game?... “
” Yeah.. You know I am the man, so use your little sarcastic bs against me all night but fact remains.. I am the man. “
” You cant even beat the freeway level.. You fucking suck. “
” Oh what was that?.. Sounds like you have played this before. “
” Nah, I just know how easy it looks, and how badly you play... “
” Then you do it.. “
” Ha.. No. “
” Pussy. “
” What? “
” Uh, nothing. What are you going to do...? “
” Watch a movie.. Like I said. “
” No but I am playing.. You have to find something else to do until then. “
” Fine.. I guess I could always cut a promo.. That faggot A2 did another so.. “
” Yeah go do that. “
I walked off trying to get some privacy.. And then I am ready.
Wow.. Aaron, you sound upset. Slightly irritated even. Looks like I got to you after all, and I knew I would, simply because you are a fucking open book, all it took was one comment, one little thing, and just like that.. Aaron Andrews goes apeshit. Heh, as I watched your promo Aaron It was all I could do to hold back the laughter. Because you are such a fucking hypocrite it is hysterical.. But before I get into the let me do some for you..
Catch your tear..
Because you whine and cry like a fucking child.
...anyone who can't appreciate all of his fellow human beings, no matter the skin tone, race, religion, etc ... Is Just a Waste of life.
I have to appreciate no one why the hell should I appreciate you? Have you ever done anything for me? No.. Have you ever shown me an ounce of respect?... No. Is there any reason what so ever I should care about you or the rest of the sheep just like you? Absolutely not. If I don’t like someone I am not going to sugar coat it, and hide behind and bunch of bull shit like yourself. I am going to tell them, and if the only reason I don’t like someone is because of their skin color, or religion.. Then so be it. But I don’t dislike you because you are a white. Fuck Andrews I’m white. I don’t like you because..
You cannot think for yourself.
You are not even your own person, you are merely a follower, searching for ways to copy how someone else acts.
And you are not completely right.. I don’t hate people because of their skin color.. Like I don’t hate Avirez because he is black.
Wait
Yes I do.
Bad example.
what about.. Oh, I don’t take Tek Robbins because he is a faggot. Oh shit, wrong again.
Ah the hell with it, I hate everyone and everything that is not like me, if you got a problem, tough shit man. Because I wont change for anyone, especially I phony like yourself. What you say doesnt even matter..
But Aaron I did find some comedy in your promo.. Yeah I certainly did.
Andrews - Kevin Jones is a legend.
Ha.. That had me in hysterics
Until I realized you were serious.
How sad it that.. A2 knows he is going out in the biggest loser fashion possibly, facing Kevin Jones who has not accomplished anything important in god knows how long so what does he do? He jumps aboard the “Lets suck KJ’s dick “ train and he will ride it all the way to the pathetic end of his career.
You don’t have to try and build up your opponent so someone actually takes the match seriously.
I honestly don’t care what he has done. Because fact is he isnt shit now.
So it will be two has-bens, fighting in a match no one will remember of care about. But.. Remember according to A2 KJ is a legend.
what a crock of shit.
get off his dick fucking loser.
Now while all of that was quite pathetic in itself.. It was NOTHING compared to what A2 did last.
Ok, I am fairly lost so someone try and help me with this.. If I suck so much A2.. Why is it you used MY WORK, for the second half of your promo?
Anyone....
Anyone at all?
Hey I’ll take a crack at it. Because you are a fucking hypocrite.
Its quite sad Andrews, because your attempt to be cool by jacking my work failed miserably. And you look like a complete ass.
How many times have you ragged on the fact that you think I am worthless? I have lost count.. And then you turn around and use my words,... you have proven that you envy me..
You had nothing to come at me with. So what did you do.. You stole my shit. Straight up ripped me off, and you know what I didn’t expect anything different.
And you know why A2.
Because you are a desperate man.
And that was your last act, before you are sent off into the world of the ones that could have been legends.. But ended up being a disappointment .
I find this all very funny actually.
Because you try to act calm, cool and collected, but you are rattled, you are scared, and I got to you Andrews,. There is not denying it, because look at your comments, everything I said you know is true, and I exposed you for the phony fake son of a bitch that you really are. You know this.. And so do I
I have nothing more to say about this.
Much like Andrews Career....
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