People spend all of their lives trying to build a reputation, they try to get people to respect them, to get people to know their name. Because that’s basically what we are all striving for right?... To get to the point where people hear your name and automatically know what you are all about, they know everything about you, what you represent is well know because of one thing and one thing only..

Your Reputation...

And how do you get a reputation.. I don’t think I even need to answer that, all you have to do is look around, and watch what everyone is doing. Watch as they desperately try for people to give them recognition.. They stretch themselves so far from what they really are, that after time they lose their whole identity. Until they become a model of what people wanted them to be. And now.. They are held by one thing.. And you guessed what it is. Their reputation binds them to be what they are expected to be. Always an added amount of pressure to perform to the level that people expect. They must be exactly what they once proved to be.. Other wise interest will fade, and people will forget all about them.

And I know all too well what that is like. Because once upon a time, I had a reputation of my own. People expected me to be a certain way. And like I said, over time I grew into what OTHERS wanted me to be.. I was as phony as Tek Robbins ego. But I could not break away, I was bound by the expectations of the people that surrounded me. My ideas, my goals were all held down because they didn’t fit the mold of what I had become. I was a one dimensional person. I only had one form of attack, and people grew tired of it. Interest in me faded away and I become a lost soul in this industry. People forgot I even existed and the only time I was even mentioned was at the end of a joke.

But things are changing aren’t they?...

This time around people are taking notice, realizing that all the preconceived notions that were dawned on me are not necessarily true. Now, I am not saying I am changing everyone’s mind about me.. Because if you look around you can still see that their will always be the ignorant ones who refuse to admit when they are wrong. And thats fine.. When I walk over them, and move above them, they can hold a grudge against me for as long as they like.

Because right now.. I feel free from the past. My old reputation is all but forgotten in my eyes. I have moved on.. And moved forward. If you want to be stuck in My past, then fine... keep your eyes shielded from the truth... I honestly do not care anymore.

See, I have realized that the one thing I was working for, for so long.. Was the one thing holding me back.

My Reputation.

Fuck a Reputation. From this day forward, I am not doing things for anyone but myself. Is that going to piss some people off?... Sure, will it turn people away from me? With out a doubt. But in the long run I think it will be for the ultimate good.

Maybe some of you should keep that in mind, as you try and build your name up to “Legendary Status”.. That just because someone calls you that, doesnt mean its true.

Praise me...

Hate me...

But that fact remains.... its all pointless in the end.

.....

Today I realized that I have been at my house for entirely too long, over the last month with out having a wrestling contract, or anything else really to do, I have spent a lot.. Ok nearly all of my time there, and after a certain amount of time, It becomes prison like. So today... Myself, Nitara and Nicolae decided to go out on the town. Travel through the streets of Los Angeles California.. I walk beside Nitara, arm and arm, and Nic is about a step back and off to my side. As I walk down to street, some stare, some begin to whisper, and even a few snicker. Like I care.. Look at the beautiful women I have on my arm, these fucking losers could never pull anything even remotely close to what I have. Why I am even bothering to listen I cannot quite understand, and then.. One lone teenager runs up to me.. And holds out a photo of myself, and a Sharpie. With a hopeful grin on his face.. I barley give him a glance before I keep walking. But he is persistent, and gets in front of me again.. Finally I give him a clear..

” No.. “

”Please... you are my hero... “

” There is no such thing as hero’s kid... and if there were.. I would not fit into the category.. Run along. “

The Saddened kid walks away, for some reason he seems shocked at the way I reacted.

But I have to ask.. What the fuck do people want from me?.. How can so many hate me, boo be, jeer me and mock me every single day of my life. Yet for some reason a select few see something in me, why that is I will never know. But to call me a hero.. Is a bit much I would say. In fact it is a very big stretch, because if they knew me at all, no one would ever call me a hero. I don’t care about them.. If that kid ran out in front of the street right before my eyes, and was blind-sided by a speeding car, I would not even blink as I kept walking about my way. God.. People annoy me.

” Why didn’t you sign that?... Not too often a fan of yours comes along.” She knows very well why I didn’t sign it, but in the spirit of conversation, I go along with it.

” Please.. I have no fans, he saw me on TV and wanted to make a few bucks on E-bay. Plus, signing autographs has never been my thing, you know that. “

“ I think signing autographs would be kinda cool. “..

” Shut up”

” No for real, I think it would be nice to have a fan.. That wants you to... “ I stop listening.. Because Nicolae can prove to be a little incompetent now and then, and has to be put in his place

” Stop rambling.. If someone.. For some reason would ever want your autograph.. Then by all means, sign it. But... do try and persuade me to. “

” You think anyone will ever want... I cut him off knowing what he is going to ask.

” No.. “

” You didn’t even let me finish.”

” Doesnt matter, the answer is still no. “

” Be nice to him.. “ She thinks I treat him badly.. Bah...

” Ok.. I will, when he can think for himself. “

” He thinks for himself. “

” Yeah, I think for myself.”

” No.. Stop talking”

” Ok.. “

” Why do you take that from him?... “ She cannot get past the fact that this is the sort of relationship we have. .. Eh, she Is too nice for her own good sometimes.”...

” Hey we are here.” ...

We walk into MY LATEST business venture.. Yeah thats right, I figured if I ever am out of work again, I need something to fall back on. So thats why I created, “Silent Shot Ink.”... yes Ink, as in a Tattoo parlor. I figured being somewhat famous will draw some of the kids in this area into here. Nitara looks around, and smiles and how nice it looks... being a tattoo parlor and all. She smiles.. And gives me a hug.

” Man... it looks really good hon “

” Yeah, I figured it would be a nice little venture, after all.. It cannot possibly taken up that much time, and Nic needs a job.. I figured he has the training might as well put him to work. “

” You’re giving him a job here?”

” Yes.. See I am not so bad to him after all”

she Smiles.... ” Yeah I suppose you are ok... “

” So what do you say... should we be the first two to get a tattoo here?..”

” Right now?...”.

” Sure.. Why not. “

” Yeah, why not!?.”

” So you will do it...?”

” Sure.. But you have to go first. “...

” Alright..good deal “

This should be rather fun, nothing like a little pain to bring a couple together eh?.. After I think about what I am going to get.. I finally decide on a what.. For a lack of better terms, a small cryptic mural. And will get the name NITARA on the backside of my forearm as well.

” Hey Nic... get in here. “...

He walks in.

” Sup.? “

” Well first of all never say that again, but what I wanted is to tell you that I am going to give you a job here, and your application is the tattoo (s) that you will be giving to me. “

” You are going to let me give you a tattoo?”

” That is correct. “

He tries to hold back his grin, but it is nearly uncontrollable

” Stop smiling, because if you fuck up.. I am going to slit your throat.” Gulp... ” Um, ok... I wont mess up, I got training in this you know”

” Yes I am fully aware. “

” Ok so do you know what you want?...”

I explain what I want, and then he sits me down and prepares the two spots where I will be getting them done.. After dong so, he does the outline.. So on a so forth, and then we are ready to actually get it done. I have gotten a good number of tats in the past, so the pain is not even an Issue for me anymore....

45 minutes go by...

And then he is done.

” Damn Nic... nice work” And I mean that, he really did a nice job.. And Nitara who is ready to get her’s done as well looks on anxiously.. Nic, moves over to her and prepares to get her ready..

” What are you doing.. ? “

” Getting her ready for her tattoo...”

” Yeah.. Except you are not giving it too her, in fact you will not even be in the room.. Seeing as it is going on her extreme lower back, and she will be wearing no pants”...

” OH can I please watch”

” No.. “

” Damn... “

” Leave”

He walks out of the parlor and Nitara gets ready for the tattoo process. I cannot help but admire her body, it is absolutely flawless, she is getting a Chinese Symbol, that stands for mystic angel. She is nervous I can feel it.. But I calm her down with a simple touch. The process takes a little bit of time, it takes longer than normal.

30 minutes pass..

” All done.”

” I like it a lot hun. “

She admires it in the mirror.

” Yeah.. I would say I did a very good job.. “

” Very nice indeed.”

” You feel alright. “

” Yeah I am ok. “

” Ok good... you ready to leave then. ?

”

” Yes. Lets... “

we walk outside and head back up the street, Nic rejoins us, he looks at her tattoo, or tries to until I push him away. And he laughs, and we continue to walk.. Until another kid comes up and asks for an autograph..

” You have got to be kidding me”

Nitara laughs out loud and I shake my head, and we walk on and out of site...