IWF Chapter 16 | Rearranging Fate ( I )
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| Wait.. Let me check one more time before I begin. Yeah.. Ok. It was not a dream, it was not a hallucination.. It was reality. And that reality is that me, Silencer, who just a couple months ago was nothing more than a laughing stock in this company, got a win over Erick Caine. Former World Champion. And why did I get this win? Not because I out-worked Caine, not because I put out more promos then him, but because I beat him.. Straight up. Now granted.. Foundation made his presence felt. But is it my fault that Caine took his focus off of me? All I did was capitalize on his lack of focus. And I believe I warned Caine of this throughout the week. That I was not The Foundation.. And if his focus was on him, then I would slip in a steal a victory from him. And steal his pride while I was at it. Which is exactly what I did. Because lets face it.. Caine is going to be mocked.. Ridiculed and be one the receiving end of many one liners in the near future. Because remember.. I am not suppose to win. I am suppose to fall to the big names of the IWF, I am suppose to be forever trapped in the mid card portion of this company. Thats what people expect.. And they are all going to question, how I actually got the win over Erick Caine. Because they doubt me.. And they always will. But I have already made it clear, it makes no matter to me. Because as you can see, I will continue to go through things the way I want to. You cant change me.. And now, maybe you will realize that there is no reason to. If you still doubt me.. Ask Erick Caine.. Who is no doubt on the verge of suicide as we speak. Begging for a bullet to put him out of his misery.
Let me help you tie the rope around your neck
...Because you might as well face it. You will never be able to live this down.
Toss any excuse you wish at me, and I simply will dont listen, nothing can affect me now.
Nothing..
And you know why that is?..
Because I have found acceptance.
In the form of Acts of God.
I have found a new home.. A circle of people who want me, they see me as what I am.. And accept me into their world because they know what I am capable of. They have shined the light on the door.. Now all I have to do is walk through it. And that is exactly what I did on Sunday.
Now.. I didnt think the audience was deserving of an explication.
I felt that I would live a little mystery as to my reasoning.
Well ladies and Gentlemen, here it is.. My reasoning for joining this group. For making an alliance that a couple of weeks ago NO ONE would have ever seen coming.
And my reasoning is simple.. Straight forward and without bullshit.
I was not being noticed.. People would not even take a second glance at me. As a result, I was being buried, and with every passing week I fell further and further behind.. So you see, I had to do something, or was better off just to give up.
When I started this.. I was surrounded by a talent less hack. That people categorized me with.
I was held under.. Held back... and then I was approached with an offer I could not pass up.
A chance to be involved, a chance to get my name out there.. And a chance for people to actually take notice of me. To surround myself with people who have gained success, people with talent and the same desire as me. That came in the form of AoG.
And in a matter of hours, I had risen my status 10 fold. Suddenly.. I was not Silencer, lowly tag team partner of the Punisher, but I was Silencer, the newest member of Acts of God, I was the Silencer that decimated Erick Caine. And now.. Whether you like it, or not. I have found a home.
A safe haven where I can live up to my full potential.
Acts of God has been put on the map. As a real and unavoidable force.. That must be reckoned with.
Fate was giving me no breaks..
So I changed my fate.
I have.. Rearranged my Fate.
As I see fit.
Its amazing to me how one little event can change your whole state of mind, completely. Last week I was wondering why I should even continue going on with my career and with my life in general. Now.. I feel refreshed. Its like I have new life breathed into me. But I cannot get my head on too much of a high, because fact is, I still dont know what is up with me outside the ring. Where my mind is at.. The lines between what is real, and what is not are becoming less and less clear all the time. I cannot focus on what I need to do, because I dont know if what I am doing is real.. Or if it is all in my mind. Its an odd feeling to be unsure as to whether or not you are dreaming.. Or if you are awake. I know one thing for sure.. Right now, I am wide awake, and full of life. Perhaps when I asked if there was more to life then what I was living.. I think the answer is yes. And I am taking the first step to reaching it.. Right now.
Wait a second.. Are my eyes deceiving me?.. Or was that a smile I just saw from you?
No illusion.. I am actually happy.
I just dont understand you sometimes, you can go from the deepest depths of depression and then suddenly you can me all cheerful, I just dont get it.
Life works in strange and ironic ways...
What do you mean?
Seems I can never be simply content, I am either on a major high.. Or extreme low.
Why do you think that is?
Because shit around here is never normal... ( laughs ) its either really good, or really fucking bad.
I think there may be more to it then that.
Whatever..
She is hinting at something.. But I am not sure what that is exactly. She always seems to want me to admit something, like there is always a problem that needs to be fixed, and she expects me to change it all on my own. She will never come out and admit what she thinks is wrong, we play a little guessing game until I get sick of it and change the subject.. Which is excatly what point we have reached right now.
Wheres Nicolae?
I think he is still asleep.
Its 2:30
Its Nic.
Good point.
And then.. Speaking of him, Nicolae walks in, not from his room, but rather from outside, he too oddly enough looks to be in a good mood. He walks in and sets his cup of coffee down. And smiles.
What are you so giddy about?
Nothing.......... except I scored with this really hot chick last night.
....
Arent you happy for me?
I really dont care.
Hey.. When shit goes good for you I am happy. Like when you beat Erick caine.. I was happy for you. Why cant you be happy for me?
Because what I did actually mattered
Oh..
Yeah..
As much as I would like to stay and talk with them both, I feel like being alone.
I am going to go downstairs for a while..
Ok.. Got something to do?..
Not really.. Just going to clear my head a little.
I make my exit and head for my basement, which has for some time now been off limits to anyone besides me. I walk down the first step and lock the door behind me, I sit behind my desk.. Preparing to do some writing. When I see it.
The Brown bottle.
The same one, that every time I open it brings nothing but misguided illusions and puts me through hell, yet even though I know what it will bring, I find myself opening it up.. And I shake out two pills onto my desk and stare at them. Wondering about the possibilities of where they could take me this time. Part of me knows it will only lead to places I dont want to go.. But the there is another part of me, that is craving it. I want to free my mind once more. I picked the tow purple pills up.. And roll them around in my hand. And then without even hesitating I pop then into my mouth. And swallow.
I lean back.. And wait.
Thirty Minutes pass.
The sweat begins to bead on my forehead, and I feel dizzy. Sick almost.
I think I may have done too much for the last time. He told me one is more than enough.. But I never listen. I stand up.. And I fall down. And it begins.. I am not longer in control
Whats going on.
why do you think this happens.
What?
Do you really think you have no control?
Of what?
Of this.. If you did not want this to happen, it would not happen.
I dont understand
Everything that goes on in your mind, is because some part of you wants it to happen.
everything?
Yes.. Every single thing that goes in is because you willed in to happen.
No.. Cant be.
Yes but.. It is.
But no part of me wants to cheat on Nitara.. And I imagined that.
But there is a part of you that does. Or else you would not have imagined it. Admit it, even though she is everything you thought you could want, you grow tired of her, you grow tired of having one, and only one women everyday. You seek adventure.. Change. You hate being held to something, and forced into a routine. Part of you wants it.. Or else it would never have been thought of.
But I..
There is no sense in arguing.. Because it is not up for discussion, this is not opinion, this is fact.
Why is this happening?
Because you made the choice. Everything that happens is a results of you wanting it to.
....so why am I not envisioning anything this time?
Because you are too caught up in your fickle joy to allow yourself to be free. You have one burst of happiness and suddenly you are so caught up in it, you cannot focus on anything else. That will be your downfall.
...I have the right to be happy.
You have not earned anything yet. You have done nothing.. Your bliss is a result of ignorance, ignorance to what else you are capable of. You have no idea what you are capable of.. And until you allow yourself to believe it.. You never will.
Someone is shaking me.
Wake up Tyler
.....?
You fell asleep at your desk.. Its 3 30, come to bed.
Well that makes 2 wins in a row for myself. Confidence is rising a little, yet I still maintain a certain level of humility. And this week will prove to be a true test. As it is my first match with my new alliance. My first match as a member of the Acts of God. I rather important match, it will be my first chance to prove they made the right choice In choosing me. But I think they know.. I dont need to prove myself, but I want to.
And while the task will not be easy.. The reward of such a win, will be monumental.
But, before I get to my opponents, I want to start with Jackrabbit the man that is going to wrestle along side myself and Darvin. And I am not going to beat around the bush, I am not going to hide how I feel, I am just going to say it. Jackrabbit, I cannot stand you. I never have been able to.. And I never will be able to. We have too much negative history for that to ever happen. So having you as a partner makes me weary. I question your intentions, and how genuine you are. For all I know you could be setting us up. And that will be the mentality I have going into Sunday. Because as far as I see it, you are an opponent. An obstacle, someone who will and must be pushed aside. I dont know where Darvin stands on this issue, but I would just as soon go at them 2 on 3, and not worry about my teammates loyalties. JR is not to be trusted.. And from where I sit he is only going to get in the way.
Now..
Onto my opponents, first off Avirez.. . Making your big return to the ring, cant say I am surprised, if anyone didnt see this coming then they are blind. I am not sure what you are planning to accomplish by aligning yourself with Marlow and the rest of his sins. You are lost Avi, you are looking for a place to fit in. You are trying to break away from the mold.. Much like myself, and you are searching for a place where you gain the success and credibility you deserve... right? Of course I am right because I am living it as well. Only difference is, you have made a choice that is only going to hold you back. You crave the spotlight, you want to be the man. Which is why you always stood above JR, but where you are now.. People are going to be more focused on Marlow, and who he brings in every week, rather that what you are doing. And plus.. You are fighting a lost cause, there is only room for one dominant force in IWF. One power... and that is AoG. Face it.. You are fighting without a point. Without a purpose. And without a chance.
And what about IWFs latest signing.. Mercury a man I know little of, yet know all about. You and I have never crossed paths until this point, but I would have to be living under a rock to not know who you are. I am not sure whether to respect you.. Or to insult you. On one hand, I respect what you have been able to do with your career and your talents. But on the other hand, you have made a decision that I simply cannot tolerate. You have chosen to oppose the Acts of God. So respect wont be a factor.. It wont even come into play. As far as I am concerned, you lost all respect I had for you the day you were announced as the second sin.
And the third member?.. I dont know, or care who you are. Because you are destine to be overshadowed by the two preceding you.
I could go on.. But I would rather not ramble.
cut it.
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