Granted beating Jack Forrester is nothing to run and alert the local news about, but when you have gone an entire month without a win, any type of victory is better then another loss. Whether it be a main event pay per view match or a singles match against jack Forrester doesnt even matter to me at this point, because a win is a win.

And you know what is sad? That some people actually thought I was going to lose to Forrester.

That is how much my reputation is held against me, no matter who I face, or under what circumstance there will always be a certain core group of people who will never respect me. I could beat the damn world champion tomorrow and I guarantee I could still look around and see more than a handful of people who would doubt me. And that is how it will always be.

Now I am not being ignorant, I realize I have yet to prove myself, I realize that what I have done so far in IWF is nothing compared to most of the guys here. Hell I have done nothing period. No matter how you look at it I am unproven . And I know this.. I have been given chances to make a name for myself, some key players have been placed in my way and I have failed. I have not been able to rise up to the challenge and make people respect me.

Until now.

Until this week .

One more chance for me the unproven rookie to face an established star here in IWF..

I guess people would call it unreachable.

Because I can see the goal clearly in site. Yet it seems just beyond my reach, just beyond what I am capable of doing. At least that is how most people see it, actually that’s how they see me ever gaining success in this company, as a goal that I will never reach, I am like the hamster on the wheel. Running, and Running, and Running. But never getting anywhere. And the irony of that metaphor runs deep Because I work my ass off, but what do I have to show for it?..Besides fatigue and stress? Exactly..

But what if I could change my stars.

Rewrite the fate that has seemingly been laid in front of me...

Time and opportunity have been against me so far, but that is not an excuse any longer, people are not going to wait around for me to take action, they will move past me, and once again I will be left behind. But I refuse to be left back in the dust anymore. Don’t know what I mean? Of course you don’t.. Because you don’t live it everyday, you don’t face rejection and constant badgering every single day.. I do. You don’t have to constantly prove yourself as a worthy adversary... and yet again I do.

Perhaps this will be the week where I can turn things around.

Reach out and grab the unreachable sort to speak.

Otherwise, I will continue to be trapped in this cycle of disrespect and self torment, last week was the first step.. A very small one at that. This week I go from baby steps to a giant leap of faith... all I can say is this. If you don’t know me yet.. You will.

Its time to give people a reason to hate me.

So far you are judging me by what you think you know about me. And you don’t like what you have heard. Whether or not it is true is irrelevant.. Because before your very eyes, I will instill the hate of me inside you.

People would say the goal of beating Erick Caine is...

Unreachable?..

And thats what keeps me going.. Wondering what kind of confused daze you would be in if I reached that goal. Wipe that smirk off your face.. Because come Sunday you will all see just how reachable that goal really is.

” Is he ok?.. He’s not moving.. Nic do something! “

” Jesus Fucking Christ! What am I suppose to do? “

” I DON’T KNOW! But we cant let him lay here and die like this”

Those were the words I heard as faded in and out of consciousness, barley able to hear their voices, I felt Nitara soft hands moving across my face, but I feel numb. I have no idea what is going on, I try to get up, but I am paralyzed, I try to speak but I am mute. I cannot tell if my eyes are open or not, but I can hear.. I can hear the fear in my wife’s voice, and even though I do not know what is wrong I know it cannot be good. She does not get so worked up over the small shit, so this must be serious. They are acting as if I am dead.. But I can feel the rise and fall of my chest, and the steady thump of my heart. And as I begin to fade once more.. I am taken back..

It must have been Monday Night, I was out to pick up what I ordered, my escape was suppose to be ready, as I made my way through a dark park at some wee hour of the morning, a man comes up from behind me and asks “ Do you got the cash?”.. I calmly whipped it out of my jacket, and he pulled out a small bottle of pills, and he stopped me and looked into my face, and gave me the warning of what this could do. I told him that I did not care, and I pushed the cash into his chest.. And he slipped be the small brown bottle. He turned and got into his car which was waiting close by. While I.. Walked across the street and into a small strip club. Not looking for a thrill but rather asylum, I walked in and sat in the corner of the room, and opened the small bottle. And attached was a small not, all I read of it was to never take more than two within a span of 24 hours. So I popped off the top of the bottle and put out two gel capsules, both full of a purple liquid that was suppose to wash away everything that was plaguing me. I put both in my mouth at the same time.. And chased them with a drink of Corona. And I sat there.. Waiting to be changed.. And then it hit me. Colors became vibrant, my eyes became alive with vivid colors, I could make the image of a gorgeous women coming towards me.. Everything felt so grand. Like I was taken to a different level, but I was not content.. I wanted more.. So I took 2 more pills, and when I did. The colors faded. Everything went gray, instead of my senses being enhanced they went numb. I was numb.... How I ever managed to get back to my home I will never now.

But now that is where I lie.. Struggling to wake up.. With my two closes friends crouching near me on the floor of my bathroom. Some miracle drug..

I don’t know what transpired after that. All I know is sometime.. I was awake, on my couch. With the most intense headache and nausea I have ever felt, as soon as I opened my eyes the light was so blinding I vomited. Nitara must have heard me.

” Oh Shit. Tyler are you ok?”

” What the fuck is wrong with me?...”

” I was hoping you would be able to answer that. Me and Nic found you in a puddle of blood and vomit in the bathroom last night. What the hell happened . “

” I... don’t remember. “ But I do. But I want to spare the feelings of my wife, so I will play the ignorance card.

” Did you take something? Over do it?.. Do you have alcohol poisoning ?

” Um.. No. I don’t think so anyway. But I feel terrible. “

” Should I call the... “

” No.. Don’t call anyone. “

” But Ty why not? It could be serious, you may need... “ Cutting her off.

” NO.. I don’t need anything, its just the flu.”

but the truth was about to be revealed.

Nicolae enters.. Holding the brown bottle that caused all the pain I am in.

” I found these in his jacket.”

” What the hell are these? “ She was looking right at me.

” It is none of your business. “

” Excuse me? I think it is my business you are my husband, and if you took something that caused you to pass out cold in a puddle of vomit at 4 in the morning I think I have the right to know. “

” NO.. Give me them! “

” I cant man.. I don’t want that to happen to you again. “

” Damnit Nic. Give them to me NOW! “

” I cant Si.. I am going to toss them “

I stand up.. Almost too fast because I nearly vomit once again. I reach out and grab Nicolae by the arm and glare into his face.

” Now.. Give me the bottle.”

” Hit me if you have to man.. But I am not giving you these pills. “

I pull my hand back as one last warning for him to let go.

” Tyler NO! “

Even though it almost caused me to pass out. I hit my best friend in the world directly in the face, and he toppled to the floor. I Picked up the bottle and headed for the door.

” WHY are you doing this?” She was in tears.. But in the state I was in.. I was too far gone to care.

” These are mine! Now get away from me.. Both of you.. Get away.” And I stumbled out of the door. Barley able to walk, I could not even open my eyes. But the sad thing is. I was powerless.

I stumbled away.. As Nitara pleaded for me to come back.

...

I find myself at a bit of a crossroad in my career. A loss will send me down the road I have traveled many times before, the road that leads to a dead end. But a win... a win will lead to a whole new road, full of possibilities. And the only thing keeping me from walking down the road I wish the travel.

Erick Caine.

A Man who right now is laughing, because he thinks he might as well have the week off. After all he is a former world Champion. And who am I? I am the guy who works hard but always falls short. Hell Caine you probably don’t know anything about me. But you think you do. You think you have me completely figured out. You have already set your cruise control and you plan on coasting right past me. You sights have been set on goals much bigger then defeating me this week at Mayhem. And to tell you the truth Erick, I have goals higher then defeating Erick Caine on Sunday Night Mayhem. My goals accede what you would ever expect out of me Erick.. In my grand scheme I would hope that I will accomplish bigger things then a victory over the former world champion, because when you look at it in retrospect, beating you really doesnt mean anything.

Yet.. It means everything.

Right now.. It could make or break me.

Because I cannot look towards the future, I can only look what lies right in front of me.

And that is you. A man with prestige, a man who is respected... a man that if I want to gain the credibility I desire I must defeat.

Erick, I already know what you are going to say about me. I could save you the thirty minutes you put into cutting your promo. You think I am nothing.. You think I do not deserve to be in the ring with you simply because you used to hold World title gold.

Now Erick I cannot bash you for dropping the title.. Because I have not even reached that level yet. Because that is what most people would say to you isnt it?.. That you chocked in your big match. Dropped your world title after giving it all you had. But not be Erick, because unlike them I don’t care what you have done, I don’t care if you won the IWF title. I don’t care if you are inducted in some wrestling hall of fame, fuck I don’t care if you were named the Wrestler of the millennium. You see.. To me you are none of that, all you are is a chance. And opportunity to spring board out of the shadows and into the spotlight.

So go ahead.. Tell me I don’t belong in the ring with you.

Hell tell me I don’t even belong in IWF.

Because the more you doubt me... the more I will be driven to prove you wrong.

.... Cut it.