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I felt it was about time for an update! lol. Well today is November 30 and we are back in skool. ugh! I just cant wait till christmas break! Then again I can b/c that means finals in less than 2 weeks away. 12 scales, honors bio, geometry, and i bet i can exempt health. Over thanksgiving break I spent so much time with lauren <3'sill and emily that I think we were seperated at birth! lol. We are so crazy together. Trash Banditz strike again! lol. These past couple of weeks I been feeling kind of alone. I mean alicea left school for her ged course.( personally i think it was her biggest mistake ever!) Kt has ross and kristin now. Which I guess is partly my fault since i never really hung out with the guys over summer. I feel like going back to Ben b/c I honestly think he could help me. He thinks Im so sure of myself and that I know exactly what Im doing with my life. But I guess from a guy that dropped out of skool I do have high expectations. Sometimes I dont think Im made out for the whole university life but if i would just get off my ass and do something it would be different. Like looking for a job. I need one for christmas presents, car money, tuition to college, just me stuff. It sucks being 16. It sucks having all this preasure on you to do well cos "we kno you can". I need that christmas break. I know its at least a month late on Tina's b-day present. To be completely honest I forgot when it was. She has slipped so far out of reach. I fear thats going to happen with kt and alicea. We use to be inseperable look what guys and time does to a relationship though. Like my uncle jamey said you'll be surprised at how many ppl were your friend in highschool and after you graduate not another word. Changes. Thats all highschool life is based on. They can be good and others and most suck ass. Look at hayes now. His senior year and he throws it all away for what? for 2 hoes who showed him drugs, a bad attitude, and supposedly a good time. We use to talk everyday and now its an accational hey in the hall. I hate that we arent friends anymore not just b/c i liked him but b/c he was my friend. *sigh* I want to be able to tell him hey look you are a senior and you didnt even run in your toga b/c you were too busy skipping or getting yelled at by an administrator. I cant believe he almost got kicked out of band. You know that use to be his life what he looked forward to everyday. How can someone be influenced so easily? How could a pregnant teenage girl allow her baby's daddy to tell her where she can be, who she can be with, and if its not with him why he has the odasidy to call every 30 mins? Why would she put herself in position that she is excluded from her friends now when we are the ones she needs the most? How can a girl who had such a bright future lower her standards to a 19 yr old school drop out that disrespect her? for nothing but a 10 min pleasure, thats it. You know no wonder we get such a bad rap as kids. But I dont blame her. I blame Nathan fully. If it was up to me his ass would be locked away and beating by a very large man in the ass everyday. Love is over rated and never lasts when you are our age. its nothing but something to cling to for support through all the changes. i want nothing to do with it. I can handle myself on my own and unlike most i can admit that. Yeah, I may get in over my head but i dont need a guy to come and bail me out thats what friends and family are for. And as far as a lil play here and there no, absolutely not. Im only 16 yrs old and there is no way im jepardising my future and the future of an unborn child born to a single mother. I dont believe in giving a guy your body at his will when they should only be interested in mind and heart. but it does happen to the best of us and there is that select few who'll get through it, through highschool and realize im glad i made the right choices. ~*<>*~Brittany~*<>*~