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"Country: the Root of Emo?" or "The Fungus among Us"

Anyone with a brain stem could notice the plague that is sodomizing our nation's youth (I use this term liberally because it seems to go much further than the teenage years, thus steeling my notion that they are all morons). That's right ladies and gentlemen, we're talking about emo. The garish collection of bad haircuts, wrist slicing, whiny music and horned rimmed glasses has formed over these moaning souls like a cloud of locusts.

I know what you're asking yourself right now. "But Boogey, how did emo come around without us noticing?" The answer, my friends, may shock you to the core: country music. That's right! Country music has been festering and brooding beneath our very noses until it evolved into the volatile brood which we now recognize as emo. The same whining which falls shrill upon our ears this very day can be recognized in the twang of a steel guitar in a song about a cheating hound dog that was run over by a man's stolen pickup truck. Though the subject matter may have changed slightly, the message remains the same. I think its safe to say that the broken hearted cowboys have traded in their ten gallon hats for bad haircuts, and their beer bottles for razor blades.